Just This Once
by fluting-through-life
Summary: Starscream has been left behind by his faction with no hope of making it back to his base. But a certain Autobot leader takes pity on him and lends him a helping servo... in more ways than one. Happy sticky slash. Don't like, don't read.
1. Chapter 1

_It's my first ever Transformers fanfic!! Yay! *does happy dance* And it's a slash fic!! Oh boy oh boy oh boy… I'm a huge fan of Starscream/Optimus and I firmly believe that there aren't enough stories out there about these two. So I made it my personal goal in life to increase the smutty population of SS/OP fics. _

_This most definitely came out longer than I'd expected. Like, seriously, it's over 6,000 words. What…? How…? I swear, I didn't mean for it to be that long. *iz a little ashamed* But I hope your attention span is longer than mine and you can finish it._

_Warnings: __**YES! **__Sticky smutty goodness, so if that's not your thing, I __**strongly**__ suggest that you take your wandering eyes somewhere else. Like, no joke, it gets a little… explicit *blushes furiously*_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

_Astrosecond: 0.498 Earth seconds_

_Nanoklik: 1.2 Earth seconds_

_Klik: 1.2 Earth minutes, or 72 nanokliks_

* * *

Oh Primus, what happened?

Starscream awoke in a haze of pain, his processor barely even to be able to compose coherent thoughts. His optics on-lined, but they were off in an astrosecond. The bright light from Earth's sun was too much for him to bear, causing his CPU to ache even more. His entire body hurt. He couldn't even pinpoint any specific areas. _Everything _was damaged in some way or another. He ran an internal diagnostics. There was severe damage to his thrusters and wings, several important, but not vital, fuel lines had been severed, his communications systems were down, not to mention any other dents, scratches, and gashes he had received in his sudden and unexpected descent from the sky.

Well, it was better than he thought. It meant that he only felt worse than he actually was. There were only two problems—though they were two pretty _big _problems—he couldn't fly and he couldn't call anyone to come collect him. So he had no idea how he was supposed to get back to the base. But there was one thing that Starscream knew for a fact.

He was screwed.

He couldn't very well _walk _back to the base. For one thing, he didn't have enough energy to make the trip across the country. And for another, even if he _did _attempt to walk back, those humans were bound to notice the large, damaged, murderous Seeker shuffling through their cities and then they would sic the Autobots on him. And it wasn't like the Air Commander was holding out for any of his comrades to come to his rescue. They had already left him behind and he was way too far from their base for anyone to want to make the trip back. Even if he did hold onto that idle fantasy that someone _might _come back and lend him a helping servo, the likelihood that they'd have enough medical knowledge to fix his flight equipment for the trip back to the Nemesis was _highly _unlikely.

Starscream knew that his injuries weren't life threatening—though outrageously inconvenient—but if left untreated, that would most definitely change. He was in a rural area where the humans hardly ever ventured, with no way to contact anyone and Primus knew that Megatron would not send someone to get him. He'd probably be glad to be rid of his occasionally treacherous lieutenant.

Starscream cycled an intake dismally. He never thought he'd go this way. He thought—or hoped, at the very least—that he would fall in a hail of glory and laser fire in the final climactic battle of the War, taking out as many pathetic Autobots as he could while the Decepticons rose victorious… not alone and abandoned after another of Megatron's failed schemes, on this horrible, primitive, Primus-forsaken planet. Not, of course, that he _wanted _to die, but if he could've chosen, this certainly wouldn't have been his first choice… or second… or third…

Primus, they hadn't even _gotten _that puny human scientist's master weapon, whatever the slag it was. Maybe if they had actually _succeeded _then this painfully slow death wouldn't be as humiliating, but the fact that it was because of another one of their _many _failed attempts to best the Autobots made it sting that much more.

_Primus_, this hurt! On-lining his optics to their lowest setting, Starscream could see that he was surrounded by an unsettling amount of his own Energon. His energy reserves were almost entirely depleted and were dropping at an alarming rate. It was already down to thirty-five percent. Once it got to ten, he'd fall into emergency stasis lock and if he didn't receive any immediate medical attention after that, he would stay that way until he off-lined permanently.

Oh yes, this was most definitely _not _the way to go. Slowly, painfully, with no hope of being rescued by your allies. Well, there was always the chance that those soft-Sparked idiot Autobots would pick up on his energy signal and come to his aid. But Starscream wasn't entirely sure which was worse: dying or being indebted to the Autobrats for saving his life. Because not only would they fix him, but they'd most likely take him prisoner and that would be _so _humiliating because either Megatron would see fit to bail him out… or he wouldn't. After all, Starscream had been stupid enough to get shot down by that Pit-spawned Lamborghini twin—the yellow one, he thinks—and then he was too weak to make it back alive, and _then _he gets captured by the _Autobots_… Primus, this day could _not _get any worse.

So, of course, it does.

Way off in the distance, Starscream heard a familiar sounding engine. The fact that it's familiar does not bode well. It means it's an Autobot. But what's worse is that Starscream knows _which _Autobots it is. The sappiest, soft-Sparked, most pathetic cretin of them all: their leader. Starscream immediately notices that he is alone… unless the invisible one—_Mirage?_—is with him and using that accursed signal dampener. But there would be no reason for him to come, so it is most likely that Prime is unaccompanied.

Starscream grumbled to himself about his luck… which was nonexistent apparently. The Autobot leader would be upon him in only a few kliks and he knew that there was no way he could defend himself. So he decided to wait. There was nothing he could do and he knew that things would only be worse for him if he attempted anything.

Starscream couldn't help wondering if Prime knew he was out here or was simply going for a recreational drive… way the Pit out here, away from their base. It would have made sense for him to bring back-up if he did indeed suspect that there was an injured Decepticon left after the battle or at least that medic of theirs. Suddenly, Starscream was irritated that Prime _hadn't _brought that fragging medic. He was infinitely better than Hook and would have the Decepticon second in command up and in their brig in no time.

_Slagging stupid Prime, couldn't have brought the only mech that I really need to see right now_, he grumbled to himself through the stupor of pain coating his CPU. He forced himself to sit up and glower at the shimmering form of Prime's altmode. _What the slag is he even _**doing **_out here? _

Finally, Prime was within scanning range. He sent out a brief scan—that Starscream blocked immediately—and the Seeker heard the tell-tale signs of him accelerating. Apparently, he _didn't _know that there was anyone out here. He was within fifty feet of Starscream when he transformed. He stood uncertainly, staring at the Seeker in silence for longer than either felt was comfortable.

Starscream broke the excruciating silence first, naturally. "What the slag are you doing out here?" he snapped, echoing his earlier thoughts.

Prime only stared for what seemed like an eternity before answering in his perpetually patient deep, rumbling voice. "I've been fighting Megatron since before you were even Sparked, Starscream. I know his tendency to leave his soldiers behind. I always return after the battle, just in case."

Starscream harrumphed impatiently, crossing his arms over his slightly cracked cockpit. He glared at a cliff face off to his right, trying to appear as indifferent as possible. He'd be damned if he'd let Prime know just how relieved he was that _someone _had come back for him. Even if it was the leader of his enemies. "Well? What are you waiting for? Take me prisoner. I don't have all day."

"Are you planning on being somewhere?" Prime asked ironically.

Starscream allowed himself to smirk. "Not particularly, but as you can see, I'm not exactly in pristine condition and would prefer to keep myself on-line for as long as possible. At least if you take me back to your base, you have that medic of yours who can put me back in working order."

"Ratchet will be pleased to hear that you think so highly of him—"

"I'm sure."

"—but I wasn't planning on taking you back to the base."

Starscream's head snapped up so fast that the servos in his neck ground in protest and his CPU span a little. "What? Why not?" he demanded.

Prime sighed, his optics betraying some of his pity. "Because I know how Megatron is." He said nothing more, allowing Starscream to interpret that as he wished.

Starscream's face was a perfect display of utter gratitude… for half an astrosecond. Then it was quickly covered by a mask of outrage. "I do not need your sympathies, Autobot!" He stopped himself, knowing that, as loathe as he was to admit it, he needed the Autobot's help. "But, very well, if you would willingly give up the opportunity to take such a high-ranking enemy prisoner in favor of doing what you consider to be the 'right thing', I suppose that I cannot stop you. However, I sincerely doubt that you possess the medical knowledge necessary to repair my propulsion systems enough for me to fly back to my own base."

Prime took a few steps forward. "I have a bit of medical knowledge. Ratchet taught me a bit about See- flyer's propulsion systems."

Starscream caught the slip. "And just _why _would _you_ want to know about a Seeker's propulsion system? It hardly seems to me like something one would ask idly about… especially when you have no Seekers in your ranks."

The response was merely a distracted shrug. Prime took a few more steps forward, attempting to appear as non-threatening as possible. Starscream eyed him warily, but did not flinch. Taking this as an invitation, Prime closed the remaining distance, making sure to stay out of arm's length, for either of them, and knelt before his "patient."

"I'll need to seal off these open fuel lines before I can do anything about your flight systems," he muttered, more to himself, as he surveyed the damage. Starscream fidgeted slightly under the scrupulous gaze of the leader of his enemies. The Autobot chuckled softly at Starscream's discomfort.

The Seeker scowled, thinking that Prime was laughing at his situation, but forced himself not to spit out scathing insults for fear that the older mech would change his mind.

After nearly five kliks of studying, Prime pulled a welder out of his subspace. "I haven't got a medical berth on me, but do you think that you could lie back? It would make things easier."

Starscream frowned, reluctant to allow himself to be in such a vulnerable position, but knowing that there was no other way. Grudgingly, he laid down onto the rocky surface, hissing slightly in pain as his back scraped across the ground.

This earned him a slightly worried look. "Are you alright?" Prime asked anxiously.

"Yes, I'm _fine_," Starscream snapped. Though, deep down, he was oddly comforted that the other seemed to care about his situation. He immediately dismissed these feelings as something conjured up due to his pain… but he knew it wasn't entirely true.

Prime cycle an intake, slightly irritated by Starscream's response, but really, what did he expect? That Starscream would grovel at his feet in gratitude for his kind deed? That he would honestly admit how thankful he was that someone had come back for him? Especially when that mech was his leader's worst rival?

Prime looked down at the Seeker, inspecting more of the injuries. However, he found his optics wandering across the lithe body before him: the sharp curve of those elegant wings, kissed by the air and sun; the smooth orange glass the swelled enticingly from the red chassis; those long white legs, folded at the ankle, with splashes of bright blue; the supple curve of his waist to his hips. And all of it splayed out before him. It was enough to make any Transformer's core temperature rise.

Starscream either didn't notice the optics studying more than just his injuries or he chose to ignore them. But then again, when would Starscream _ever _hold his glossa instead of telling someone off for being less than professional?

Optimus got to work shortly after his "examination." He worked on the severed fuel lines first, as that was of the highest priority. He resigned himself to simply looking and not touching. Or, at least, not touching more than was necessary. Starscream had been in the medbay more often than probably any Transformer in the history of Cybertron and would recognize immediately if Prime was trying to "cop a feel."

Prime had always admired the Seeker design. It was mostly due to the fact that he was a "ground-pounder," as they often called him, and was mesmerized by how the flyers were able to gracefully take to the air and own it. Naturally, he was of a much heavier build, designed for close combat and to take more severe punishment. Seekers, on the other hand, were built for speed; every curve designed for maximum aerodynamics, their armor used lighter alloys to reduce the amount of weight they would need to carry, causing them to be smaller than most mechs, and consequently made them more aesthetically pleasing to the optic. He had noticed, long ago, that Starscream was slighter than his Seeker brethren. While all of them were attractive, Starscream held some quality that made his beauty superior to the others. Prime had never quite figured it out. They were all formed from the same mould, but Starscream possessed something beyond mere physical beauty.

Prime worked silently as he sealed the various wounds that were scattered across his body, forcing himself to focus on the work at hand and to not stare at the way the sun glinted off Starscream's scratched but shining armor. Or the way he shifted slightly when Prime welded a particularly painful gash. Or how his optics dimmed and he bit his bottom lip to avoid crying out in pain.

Primus, Optimus had never noticed how resilient Starscream was. This process _had _to be painful and yet he hadn't uttered a sound. Optimus assumed that this was nothing new to the Seeker. He knew that the Air Commander usually took the brunt of Megatron's anger. It was obvious on the battlefield when the Decepticon Supreme Commander would snap at his lieutenant about something completely out of his control or even threaten him with his fusion cannon, and it seemed safe to assume that things were worse back at their base, away from prying optics. Optimus liked to think that he held no vulnerable feelings for any of his enemies, but he couldn't help feeling sorry for Starscream. Normally, he tried to avoid shooting him in favor of his wingmates, but the same could not be said for his other soldiers.

Finally, after nearly four cycles, Optimus had finished his work on Starscream. He'd pieced together the Seeker's thrusters and, after much persuading, managed to re-wire the connection to his wings on his back. It wasn't pretty, but it would hold. He told the same to the Seeker who only nodded, still fighting off the agony his body was in.

"Here," Prime said, pulling an Energon cube from his subspace and holding it out.

Starscream half sat up, taking the cube and drinking it like a starving Sparkling. He didn't even bother to scan it for contamination. He finished in only a few nanokliks, his body craving more of the fuel. Prime offered him another… then, once it too was gone, another… and another. After the fourth cube, Starscream's reserves were full and he had enough energy to make it back to the Nemesis. And another trip back to here, if he wanted. Which he didn't, but it was nice to know that he could.

They sat in silence for a while, the sun setting off in the west as it was prone to do, painting the sky brilliant shades of orange and pink.

Starscream was at a loss. He felt like he should do or say… _something_! After all, Prime _had _just saved his life and, what's more, was going to let him go free. He hated owing his life to anyone, especially Optimus Prime.

"So what do you want?" the Seeker asked abruptly.

Prime looked at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you didn't do this for free. You must want something. What is it?"

Prime sighed. "I didn't do this because I expected something in return."

"Yes, yes, I know, you did it because you're a soft-Sparked idiot and pitied me," Starscream waved off the response with irritation. "But even so, I'm still offering to give you anything you want. Battle plans, access codes, weapon information, the location of the Space Bridge… a brief summary of all the Decepticons' love lives." He smirked deviously at the last one.

"I told you, you don't have to," Prime assured quietly.

Starscream scowled. "I slagging _know _I don't have to!" he snarled. "But I'm _trying _to be _nice _for once!"

"But… why?"

"Because that slagger Megatron left me behind to die and I'm frelling _pissed_!" He took the last word from something that Skywarp had once said, a word the humans used. It seemed oddly appropriate. He continued, a little softer, "And… as much as I hate to admit it, I'm… I'm _grateful _that you came back and… even _I_ won't take full advantage of it and just leave you here in the dust without… properly thanking you. Even though I could," he added quickly, so as not to sound like a weak cheesy Autobot. "So, what'll it be?"

He looked expectantly at Prime, every piece of confidential information brimming on the surface of his CPU, waiting for whatever it was that Prime would ask for. He did not expect, however, for blue optics to slide longingly down the length of his body, drinking in every little detail, staring lustfully at his form. Starscream tensed and was suddenly at a loss again. He'd seen other mechs look at him that way before, but one: he'd never indulged their perverted desires, and two: he _never _would have expected to see it from the noble Optimus Prime, bearer of the Matrix.

However, it was because of that last part that Prime said, "I suppose the location of the Space Bridge would serve our cause best." He looked away to stare dejectedly at the cliff to his left.

Starscream cocked his head slightly in confusion. Prime's vocalizer assured him that that was what he wanted while his optics suggested otherwise. "Pri- … Optimus, I told you that you could have _anything_."

The Autobot leader looked at him, optics betraying nothing. "I know. However, I need to think of what's best for the cause."

Starscream sat up, studying the older mechs optics carefully. "What about what's best for you?" he asked quietly, his voice holding a rare, but genuine, note of concern.

Optimus started at the unexpected tone of voice. He locked optics with the other, blue wide with surprise and crimson narrowed slightly in perplexity. "Starscream, it would be unwise…"

He huffed impatiently, retuning to his earlier brashness. "Frag it, Optimus! It's not like it would mean anything. Just indulge yourself this once. No one has to know. Primus knows _I'm _not going to tell anyone."

He still looked uncertain.

"_Fine_," Starscream snapped. "Since you're all high and mighty and don't want to ask, I'll offer you this once and all you need to do is say 'yes' or 'no.' After that, the offer is void and I won't make it again." He cycled an intake, suddenly a little unsure himself. "Optimus, do you want to interface with me?"

The Matrix bearer was a little surprised with how blunt the question was. He fought within himself, trying to think of the right course of action. He knew, of course, what the right thing to do was: decline Starscream's offer and settle for the Space Bridge coordinates. But… when _was _the last time he'd been a little selfish? He hadn't interfaced since before they left Cybertron and it was starting to grate on him. However, then there was the moral dilemma that Starscream was offering _himself _as a show of gratitude and that just didn't sit well with him. It didn't seem fair to allow the Seeker to give Optimus his body.

On the other hand, he _was _doing it willingly…

And no one had to know…

And it would just be this once…

And he _had _been thinking about it only a little while before…

Finally, Optimus muttered an almost inaudible, "yes."

He glanced up to gauge Starscream's reaction. The Seeker's expression was unreadable. He nodded once to let him know that he'd heard, but then fell completely still. Neither were quite sure what to do next. Optimus because he was feeling a little awkward about the whole thing and Starscream because he'd never done this before and didn't know what the first step _was_.

"So…" Starscream trailed off, suddenly feeling very nervous. But he _had _offered and Optimus _had _accepted. It seemed only appropriate that he make the first move.

He moved closer to the larger mech and, still rather timidly, straddled his hips. He looked into Optimus' optics, wondering if this was the right thing to do. His stare was met with shocked blue optics, as though Prime was surprised that Starscream was being serious when he made his offer.

Starscream tried to cover his inexperience by lightly running his hands down Optimus' armor. However, cobalt hands trembled slightly as they grazed over Prime's windshield, sliding cautiously lower to his grill. There was a roar as Prime's engine rumbled in approval. Then, quite suddenly, Starscream found himself being crushed against Optimus' body as two strong arms wrapped around his waist. There was a brief shriek as the glass on Starscream's cockpit scraped against Prime's windshield. He let out a small gasp of surprise at the sudden embrace.

_Primus, what a wonderful sound!_ Optimus thought. _I wonder what else I can make him do._

All of Optimus' reservations disappeared the astrosecond Starscream's digits found their way to his grill. Prime laid Starscream on the ground a little rougher than was entirely necessary, earning yet another gasp. Optimus' engines roared again, the sensation sending surprisingly pleasurable vibrations through Starscream's frame. He moaned softly, body arching upward to feel more of those wonderful vibrations. Prime was more than happy to oblige. His engine rumbled again and again, each one in turn delivering a soft approval from gunmetal lips. Prime's hands moved roughly over his cockpit, eliciting wanton gasps and moans.

"_Optimus_," he breathed.

The Autobot leader was surprised once again by Starscream's tone of voice. Normally it was high and shrill and made one want to stab their audio receptors with a laser scalpel. Now, though, it was soft and sensual and… beautiful. Yes, by Primus, when Starscream said his name like that it was downright _gorgeous_! And the way he writhed under Optimus' touch, his slender body arching gracefully off the ground and creating such delicious friction, his optics flickering between bright red and deep burgundy. This wonderful, sensual creature beneath him was nothing like the Starscream he'd seen countless times on the battlefield. This one was… gorgeous. And Prime knew, right then, that this would not just be a one-night stand.

But he didn't stop. He _couldn't _stop. He needed this. Starscream needed _him_. Needed to feel the heat radiating off each other's bodies, their fingers sliding roughly over red armor, scarlet hips bucking instinctively against white. Optimus laughed quietly at the unspoken desire Starscream was conveying to him.

"In time," he murmured huskily. However, just to appease him slightly, he ran a hand down to Starscream's pelvic armor. The panel behind which was the Seeker's valve was dripping with lubricant already. _That was fast_, Optimus thought idly, but he couldn't even try to understand the reasoning behind it when Starscream practically shrieked his name, arching violently up against him, fingers twitching uncontrollably. Starscream's codpiece was scorching hot as Optimus continued to run his fingers over the dripping metal.

Starscream could no longer control his motor functions. His hands clung desperately to Optimus' arms as sensations he'd never even thought possible assaulted his body. But there was one part of him that he desperately wished to be touched.

"Optimus… wings…" he gasped incoherently.

However, the Matrix bearer understood and, one hand still lavishing attention on Starscream's pelvic armor, the other drifted to one of those elegant wings. He'd often wondered how they would feel and was delighted to finally get his chance. He was met with warm, smooth metal, the edges almost razor-sharp which allowed Starscream to slice easily through the air. He ran his hand across the expanse, thrilled by the mewls of approval he received from the Seeker. Optimus stroked from where the wing connected to Starscream's back and out to the tip. Starscream practically thrashed against him when he touched the pointed tip of his wing. Optimus, intrigued, lightly pinched it, earning him a pleasured cry and violent squirm.

"_Optimus_!" Starscream cried.

Optimus could feel his spike, hidden behind a panel on his pelvic armor, beginning to ache with need. It pushed uncomfortably against the latch, urging him to be released and embedded into the dripping valve of the Seeker beneath him. But not yet. He hadn't finished tormenting Starscream quite yet.

"You like that?" he purred seductively. He pinched the tip again, a little harder.

In response, Starscream thrust his entire body upward, screeching, "Ah, _yes_! More! Please!!"

Optimus' engines roared again in desire, his spike pushing painfully against its panel. He could feel warm lubricant dripping down his other hand and, oh, how he wanted to take the Seeker. But, still, he would hold off.

Prime ran his entire hand over the wing, his fingers leaving light scratches in their wake, teasing the sensitive wires and creating an odd mixture of pain and pleasure. And Starscream wanted more. He twisted his body as best as he could, pushing his wing sharply into Optimus' wandering hand. Optimus took to teasing the tip once again, pulling and pinching roughly at it.

"More! Optimus, please!" Starscream rocked his hips upward into Prime's other hand and he couldn't hold himself back anymore. He threw open Starscream's codpiece harshly and slid a finger inside the wet valve. Starscream's optics widened, his entire body going rigid and his vocalizer almost shorted out. He couldn't _believe _how good it felt to have Optimus' finger inside him.

Prime was shocked at how tight Starscream's port felt. It was almost like it had never even been touched before. Oh, but his reaction was entirely worth it. Prime chuckled softly, sliding his finger in and out slowly. Starscream released a low, keening moan, optics off-lined completely.

"More," he whispered.

Well, he wanted more. Prime opened his own codpiece with unrestrained vigor, his spike drawing out, fully erect. Starscream on-lined his optics a fraction, just enough to look down and see Optimus' length. His mouth opened in surprise, a small "o" shape. He'd never seen another mech's spike before. Or his own, for that matter. It was… bigger than he thought. And… it was going to be _inside _him… But he wanted it, oh Primus did he want it.

Optimus watched Starscream's reaction as he unsheathed himself and it was most definitely not what he'd expected. Almost like he'd never seen one before. However, he didn't dwell on it for too long and, with a sharp swing of his hips, he penetrated Starscream's valve.

And the Seeker screamed.

He screamed in total bliss. His optics off-lined again, his grip on Optimus' arms tightening enough to leave dents, and he spread his legs further. When Optimus drew back and thrust his hips again, he got a choked cry in response.

By Primus, it was a tight fit. But it felt _amazing_! Never had anyone felt so good to Optimus. He plunged deeper and deeper into Starscream, penetrating the sensitive wires until he felt the pleasure node deep within Starscream's dripping valve. The Seeker shrieked again as Optimus rammed his spike against it, hard. It hurt… but it felt so wonderful at the same time. He was in a sea of ecstasy, the lust forcing him to tighten his grip on Optimus' arms. He was sure he was saying something, but he couldn't tell if he was muttering or screaming. The latter seemed more likely.

Starscream felt heat surging through his circuits, his mind totally blank to anything other than the spike that was deeply embedded within him. His electrical field sparked erratically around him, mingling with Optimus' and heightening the building heat.

Optimus plowed into the smaller mech, driving him into the ground. He briefly wondered how Starscream felt about all of this, but he couldn't have stopped even if he wanted to. Sparks of electricity crackled between them creating pleasant tingles across their armor, the sound of their strangled cries of pleasure mixing with the shriek of metal against metal, their cooling fans barely able to expel the excess heat.

It hit Starscream first. His first overload. His entire body convulsed, turbines whining as he lost control, his vocalizer shrieking out the name of his lover, pleasure drowning him in an ocean of ecstasy. He arched up against Optimus who, after seeing the display of the smaller mech writhing beneath him, overloaded almost immediately after. Starscream's valve clamped down on Optimus' spike and he fell unconscious as the aftershocks hit him.

Optimus felt the Seeker go limp underneath him and, after a quick scan, realized that his overload had been powerful enough to knock him off-line. The Autobot leader felt an odd sense of pride at that. However, he would have to wait until Starscream awoke before he left. He wouldn't leave the Seeker alone while he was unconscious.

Optimus rolled off the Seeker, a bit disoriented himself from their interfacing. It had been a long time since he'd had an experience that powerful. Actually, as he thought about it, he didn't think he'd _ever _felt an experience so fulfilling. Starscream had been such a good little lover. Responding to every touch eagerly, wanting more. But there was something about the way that he'd reacted that put Optimus off a little. It was almost like he'd never done this before. But with the way that Starscream looked and acted, there was no way that he could be a virgin.

Could he?

Optimus' musings were interrupted by a soft groan from the mech lying next to him. Starscream's optics flickered on, dimming to a deep crimson as they settled on his partner. A tiny smile worked its way onto his faceplates and, though exhausted, he looked decidedly satisfied. Optimus couldn't believe how beautiful Starscream looked in that moment. Perhaps it was the expression of genuine happiness on his face, a look so rare and contrasting sharply with the usual smirk or sneer that normally graced his face. Or perhaps it was the glow that he seemed to have from the aftershocks of their love-making.

Or the innocence that was just barely visible in his optics.

Oh Primus, this _was _his first time.

Optimus suddenly felt exceedingly guilty. He had just taken the Seeker's chastity, for what? Because Starscream was trying to thank him for something that any decent mech would have done? Optimus had assumed that Starscream had done this many times before and had treated him accordingly. Had he known that Starscream had never experienced this before, he would have declined the offer immediately, or at least been a little gentler.

Starscream sat up slowly, wincing slightly. They sat in silence for a while, neither having the processor power to put together a coherent sentence.

Optimus broke the quiet first this time. "Starscream… this may be a very personal question and you may feel free not to answer, but… was this your first time?"

Starscream's wings twitched a little in irritation at the question. The first thing that jumped into his vocalizer was, "None of your business," but he forced himself to "bite his tongue," as Skywarp often told him. Well, it really _wasn't _any of Prime's business, though. He was such a sentimental old fool that he'd think this experience meant more than just a casual interfacing if he knew that it was Starscream's first. And it _didn't _mean anything! At all! Not a slagging thing!

But, he supposed that Optimus did have the right to know. For some reason. He had been staring unfocusedly at the cliff as all of this went through his processor and had been silent for so long that Optimus thought he wouldn't answer. Eventually, he came to his decision and muttered, feeling inexplicably embarrassed, "Yes, it was."

"Why…?" The words died in Prime's vocalizer.

"I never wanted to," he shrugged uncomfortably. "There was never anyone who caught my interest and I never saw it as a recreational sport, so I just never indulged."

"But you let me…?"

Starscream snorted quietly, a hint of a sneer on his faceplates. "Don't flatter yourself, Prime. You saved my life and even in my twisted sense of morality I believed I owed you at least that much."

"I told you, you didn't owe me."

"And I told you, yes I did!" Starscream snapped, his head twisting around to look at the Prime, optics flaring dangerously despite his exhaustion. "As much as it probably boggles that tiny little processor of yours, I do hold a sense of right and wrong and, to me, saving my life is something that should be fragging rewarded! Whether it my first time or not hardly seems like the issue. It was bound to happen sooner or later and I'd rather it was… Never mind." Looking mortified by his almost-slip up, he looked away again, suddenly very uncomfortable again.

After a few long nanokliks of awkward silence, Optimus murmured, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."

"I'm not offended… well, I am a little that you found it so hard to believe that I was a virgin." He smirked impetuously at Optimus. "I mean, really, do I act like such a little whore?"

Optimus flinched slightly. "No, no, nothing like that… I just… I thought, because of how you look… that…" He trailed off uncomfortably, fighting the uncharacteristic urge to fidget.

And Starscream laughed. It wasn't harsh or bitter or condescending as it usually was, but a light Spark-felt chuckle that made his entire face light up and his being radiate pure mirth. "Please, Optimus," he snickered. "It's okay. I understand. I mean, just because I've never indulged doesn't mean that I haven't had offers. I don't need you to tell me that I'm at least mildly attractive. And it doesn't take a genius to see when someone's surprised that I don't hop into the berth with them as soon as the shutter their optics at me." He frowned slightly. "But… I would have hoped that at least _you _wouldn't have jumped to conclusions…" He shook his head and continued. "I know how I look; I know how others look at me. So I try to keep things subtle. Subtle for me, anyway." This earned him a soft laugh from Optimus. "But I try not to flaunt things. I really do. It's just… you know, with my attitude, it seems like I'm constantly putting myself out there." He shrugged again, seeming a little confused. "I'm not. The others just interpret it that way."

Again, Optimus felt horribly guilty. "I apologize, Starscream. I shouldn't have assumed otherwise."

Starscream looked up at him oddly. He wasn't used to being apologized to. "'S okay," he muttered, picking childishly at a rock lying next to him. After a little while, he said, "I suppose I should head back. Wouldn't want Megatron replacing me. Primus knows Skywarp would run the Seekers into the ground if he was Air Commander and Soundwave is such a 'yes-mech'. Megatron doesn't need anymore ego-stroking." He looked up at Optimus, his optics bright red, hiding some emotion that the Autobot leader couldn't quite identify. "Thank you, Optimus," he said, "for everything."

Optimus only nodded slightly. Starscream stood up, ran a quick diagnostics to make sure his thrusters were in working order, then, with a final glance at Optimus, he jumped into the air, thrusters flaring to life, turbines whirring loudly, and took off toward the Nemesis. He didn't transform, preferring the way the cool desert air felt across his already over-sensitized body.

Optimus watched as the Seeker slowly disappeared in the night sky, an odd warmth in his Spark that hadn't been there before. He had learned more about Starscream tonight than any other mech ever had… and… he happened to _like _what he'd learned.

He should feel guilty. Guilty for having taken Starscream's virginity, for allowing himself to interface with a Decepticon, for not taking him prisoner, for betraying his Cause… but he couldn't bring himself to care. Right now, at this moment, with that wonderful, beautiful Seeker flying off in the distance, the starlight dancing across his wings, his face the purest delight, his body glowing with sensual satisfaction… that was what mattered. For once, Starscream was purely, genuinely happy. How long it would last depended on how long he avoided Megatron, naturally. But he had experience authentic joy for once in his life… and Optimus had provided it for him. Hopefully, they would meet again like this. Causes and factions be damned because to see that smile on Starscream's smooth, grey lips would be worth every nanoklik of the accusations and hate he would suffer if any of his soldiers found out.

Yes, seeing Starscream happy would be worth it. With every pulse of his Spark, Optimus knew that he would betray his faction again for even an astrosecond of Starscream's radiant delight.

* * *

_So, here's my little story. I hope you enjoyed it. I may or may not continue with this. I suppose it depends on the feedback from you guys. ;) _

_I don't like the ending… I'm not sure why, but I really hate it. Grr… I never was very good at conclusions._

_Reviews=love! And faves=Primus! Not God for fear of being struck down. *cowers*_


	2. Chapter 2

__

Thank you, everyone, so much, for your encouraging feedback! I mean, really, I feel so accomplished! Ya'll make me feel so happy.

_:)_

_So, for all of your good faith, I have… obviously… decided to continue with my little ficcy. That being said, I aim to update at least once a week. I mean, naturally, updates will have to wait until I've written the next chapter, but I will try my damndest to get it done within one week of last being updated. And if it takes longer than a week, feel free to PM me with all your bitching to get me back on my ass and writing again. Because, if I know me—and I do, quite well—then I'll end up getting bored halfway through my story and updates will go from rare to nonexistent so I'll need all of you standing by with your torches and pitchforks and prodding me into going back to work. Besides, my therapist says it's good to have a long-term project._

_(I kid, I don't actually have a therapist. It's my sister and I'll be damned if I'm gonna pay her for all of her wisdom.) _

_Warnings: None for this chapter. Sorry if you were expecting something a little more… risqué. ;)_

_:Comm. links:_

_Astrosecond: 0.498 Earth seconds_

_Nanoklik: 1.2 Earth seconds_

_Klik: 1.2 Earth minutes, or 72 nanokliks_

_Breem: 22.2 Earth minutes, or 18.5 kliks_

_Cycle: 74 Earth minutes, or 4 breems _

_Orn: Roughly a day_

_Decacycle: Roughly 3 weeks_

_Vorn: 83 years _

__

Well, without further ado, here's the next installment that I'm sure you've all been waiting anxiously for.*Not*

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The flight back to the Nemesis should have been long and painful and spiteful and exhausting… But it wasn't. In fact, it was downright enjoyable. Starscream couldn't think of another time when he'd felt so good. The cool air was rushing over his wings, tickling the sensitive derma-plating, his circuits were tingling from the major expense of energy he'd just expelled, and… he felt… some odd feeling deep in his Spark. Not love. He immediately pushed that thought aside because, no matter how good whatever Optimus had done to him had felt, he would _never _fall for the Autobot leader.

But there was still this nagging feeling nestled within his Spark. It was near impossible to explain. He knew that at some point in his life he'd felt this before. When, though, was a different story. He felt… safe? Warm? Yes, warm, most definitely. But it wasn't like a temperature thing. It was more substantial than that. But safe? Where the Pits did that come from? Optimus obviously felt nothing more for him than a passing lust. More than likely, Starscream was just another notch on his figurative belt. After all, Starscream was more than used to being lusted after. One got used to it when they were surrounded by a bunch of horny Decepticons with nothing better to do. He didn't even know why they went after him. He was their commanding officer; that sort of thing simply wasn't _done_! Fornicating with your subordinates. Disgusting.

That must have been why Optimus wanted what he did. Granted, for an Autobot, interfacing with a Decepticon wasn't much better than your subordinates, and in a lot of ways it was probably worse, however the noble Optimus Prime would not seduce one of his own men. At least, not without Spark-bonding with them. Having casual relations did not seem like a very Autobot-like practice.

Starscream suddenly felt his fuel pumps churn in fury. Of course! He was so stupid. Optimus obviously hadn't had relations in a very, _very _long time and he'd chosen Starscream because he figured that the Seeker had slept around enough to be halfway decent at the sport. He'd said so himself! That he was surprised that Starscream was a virgin. That's all Starscream was to Prime: an easy lay.

Granted, the only reason they'd interfaced in the first place was because Starscream had insisted on it. But that brought a whole bunch of complicated issues like _why_ had he been so persistent on giving Prime his body? Why didn't he just give him the Space Bridge coordinates and be done with it? He'd held onto his virginity for vorns, but he just decided to give it up on a whim? For a simple good deed? No, there had to be a deeper reason than that.

However, Starscream wouldn't have offered if Prime hadn't looked like he'd wanted it. After all, Prime _had _saved his life. It was the least he could do.

But since when did Starscream acquiesce to the petty urges of another? Especially those of his worst enemy? Was he really so desperate to be treated like a sentient being that he'd reward the first mech to do so? No matter who it was?

Primus this was getting complicated.

Well, that warm safe feeling in his Spark had been thoroughly extinguished at this point. He was so confused. He knew that if any other mech had come back for him and asked for his body as payment for their deed, he'd have refused in a Sparkpulse… But Prime _hadn't _asked for his body. Yes, he'd admired it, but he'd kept it strictly as a "look, but don't touch." Maybe it was because Prime had been so insistent that he _didn't _expect payment. Prime had treated him civilly. Perhaps that was what got to Starscream the most. He didn't even get that kind of respect from his own comrades and yet the leader of his enemies had offered him kindness that he not even his allies bestowed to him. Maybe Starscream wasn't rewarding Prime for saving his life, but for treating him the way he'd always strived to be. Optimus had come to him when no one else had, when his own _team _had left him behind… and then he'd shown mercy when he could have just as easily taken him prisoner…

Starscream pushed those thoughts aside. He hadn't needed Prime's help. He would have been perfectly fine on his own… Somehow. He was the Air Commander! He was a Decepticon warrior! He would have figured something out. Besides, there was no room for vulnerabilities, especially for one's enemies. Their little impromptu rendezvous had been enjoyable, he'd allow that much, but it was strictly a one time thing and no matter how badly he would want to feel like that again, he would not permit it. The Cause came first. The Autobots would be defeated and Prime would be killed and that was that.

…

But it had been nice to have someone looking at him and touching him in ways that didn't hurt. Even if it was Optimus Prime. And even if it would only ever be just the once.

Starscream realized that he was getting closer to the Nemesis. He sent out a short command to raise the tower, not even bothering to wait for a response. He had too much on his processor at the moment. The tower split the sea, saltwater spilling over the sides and cascading like a waterfall back into the ocean. The landing bay was open and Starscream flew inside, touching down with less grace than usual. He made his way to the lift which took him down into the main base.

Starscream leaned heavily against the wall of the elevator, his processor on the verge of aching. His body still tingled slightly from both the flight and the experience beforehand. In an attempt to fight back the looming processor-ache, he cleared his CPU of any thoughts other than the way his derma-plating tickled as it scraped against the sides of the lift, and the slight heat that still warmed his body above his average internal temperature, and the phantom touches on his wings where they were still slightly scratched from their rough, though incredibly pleasurable, treatment, and the way that the elevator vibrated ever so slightly, just like when Optimus revved his engines, and… Slag.

He pushed every thought of Optimus—slag again—_Prime_ out of his CPU… again, knowing that if Soundwave caught even a glimpse of what Starscream had been up to, he'd report immediately to Megatron and then Megatron would kill him and he wouldn't ever be able to think or feel the way that Optimus… slagging Pits. This was going to be hard.

He briefly wondered how long he would be able to avoid Megatron before getting himself fixed up, but his question was quickly answered when he stepped off the lift.

Waiting for him right outside the elevator was the silver warlord himself. "Starscream," he acknowledged, a malicious glint in his optics.

He inwardly sighed miserably. He really didn't want to deal with this right now. "Yes, leader?" he responded, trying to keep his voice light in the hopes that Megatron would grant him some mercy and let him go about his business without giving him too hard of a time.

Megatron glared at the lack of the usual retort. "Well, it's a shame to see that you're back. Our audio receptors just finished recovering from that grating screech that you call a voice."

Starscream clamped down on his vocalizer which was practically aching to spit out a scathing insult. Instead, he kept his tone neutral and said, "If you only wish to trade insults, then excuse me for not participating. I have other business that I must attend to, as you can see." He gestured to his beaten and battered form.

Megatron, however, did not budge. "You realize, of course, that we did not obtain that energy converter from the humans, do you not?"

The Air Commander knew almost immediately where this was going. "And you believe that it was my fault, do you not?"

Megatron snarled. "If you hadn't been so stupid as to get yourself shot down, then the Seekers wouldn't have scattered and we could have maintained our advantage."

As much as Starscream wanted to just walk away and not get involved, he couldn't hold back the look of fury that crossed his face. "Oh, so _now _you acknowledge my proficiency as your Air Commander only so that you can pin the blame on _me _for this mission? Well, maybe if you had done your job and held the Autobot ground troops back, they wouldn't have been able to shoot me down in the first place!"

Starscream knew he was right. He knew that _Megatron _knew he was right. And that was why he wasn't surprised to find himself pinned up against the wall with the endless barrel of a fusion cannon shoved up in his face.

"Perhaps if you were a better flyer, you wouldn't have gotten shot down," he growled.

As it usually did when Megatron insulted him, Starscream felt a pang of disappointment. He really should be used to Megatron putting him down at this point, but it still hurt when his leader wouldn't acknowledge his talents.

However, he kept these thoughts to himself and hissed, "Well, if I'm such an incapable flyer, then why did you bother to make me your Air Commander?"

"Sometimes I wonder that myself." With that he slammed Starscream's head back against the wall, earning a yelp of surprise and pain, and strode off, an air of haughty superiority following in his wake.

Starscream stood where he was for a long time, stewing in a mixture of rage and humiliation. There had been no one else around to see the exchange between Commander and lieutenant, but it was the simple fact that, once again, Megatron had bested him in an argument. Why did he always feel the need to humiliate his Second on a near regular basis? Sometimes it was even completely unwarranted. Most times, actually. Naturally, they would argue, but Megatron was usually the one to coax Starscream to fight back. And with his popularity, unsurprisingly, everyone would side with their Supreme Commander. Why was it so much to ask for Megatron to be pleasantly surprised by his Second's unexpected return? Why was it so hard for him to congratulate him on successfully leading a mission? Why couldn't he just see Starscream's worth? Why couldn't he just once utter those ever elusive words, "Good job, Starscream"?

The Seeker cycled an intake dejectedly. Some small part of his processor—the part that he would never, _ever _acknowledge—missed Optimus and the way he had treated Starscream. How he'd apologized when he thought he'd offended the Seeker and seemed genuinely worried about his well-being.

But he was Starscream! He did not need to be coddled like some weak Autobot. No, Megatron did those things to make his soldiers strong and self-sufficient. And that is why Prime would lose.

Again, that small part of his processor couldn't help thinking that even Starscream couldn't be self-sufficient all the time.

Before he could confuse himself even more, Starscream opened a comm. link to their medic. _:Hook:_

There was a long pause on the other end until, finally, the snobbish voice of the Decepticon medic floated through his audio receptors. _:Ah, so you finally made it back?: _Starscream had obviously just roused him from recharge.

_:Spare me. Just get your aft to medbay. I'm in need of repairs:_

There was a snort from the other end before it cut off with a short affirmation.

Starscream made his way to the medbay, his entire body aching. The twinges that had threatened his processor earlier had developed into a full-blown throbbing. He was exhausted. It was taking all of his strength to shuffle his pedes toward the medbay.

Luckily it wasn't a long trip. The Decepticons' medical facilities were close to the lift for quick access after a battle. The doors parted at Starscream's presence and he trudged in, feeling like a walking slagheap.

"You look like a walking slagheap," a pompous lilting voice greeted him as he settled himself up on a berth.

Starscream raised his helm, trying his best to shoot Hook a dirty look, but only half-succeeding. He huffed impatiently. "Is that the proper medical term for my current state?"

"No, however it is my professional opinion."

Starscream actually smiled slightly. Well, the corners of his lips twitched minutely and he kind of _wanted_ to smile. He might hate the Decepticon medic with a passion, but he wasn't in a mood to argue. "Just… spare me your professional opinions. I only came here for one thing and it wasn't so that you could exercise your wit." _Primus knows I've already dealt with that enough for one cycle._

If Hook was surprised by the request—and, yes, it was a request and not a command—he hid it well. However, he did more readily move to the side of the berth to begin repairs. Starscream laid back, unable to stop his processor from connecting this with the position he'd held earlier that cycle, and almost immediately felt the beginnings of recharge. His optics flickered slightly in an attempt to stay on-line.

Hook cycled an intake with irritation. "It isn't going to do either of us any good if you lay there fighting off recharge," he chastised.

For once, Starscream complied and slipped into a heavy recharge.

* * *

Optimus Prime barreled down the empty highways of whatever state he was currently in. He didn't know. And he wasn't going to bother to check. There was only one thing completely occupying his processor at the moment: Starscream. Had he made it back to his base alright? Or was he lying in the middle of a forest, bleeding out Energon blood? Had someone known what he'd been doing before he came back? Did anyone know who had repaired him? What would Megatron do if he ever found out? Was Starscream lying safe and sound the Nemesis' medbay?

Was he thinking about Optimus right now?

No, of course not, that would be ridiculous. At any rate, it wouldn't be safe for him to do so with Soundwave being a telepath. Starscream would know that, so naturally he would erect all of his mental barriers and toss out any stray thoughts of the Autobot leader. Besides, he had made it quite clear that he felt nothing for Optimus other than a small amount of gratitude. He had successfully "paid" Optimus for his good deed and probably dismissed any thoughts that suggested otherwise.

But Optimus had also made it clear that Starscream did not need to reimburse him for his small mercy. Yet the Seeker had insisted and… given Prime his virtue. Why? Why would he do that? He said that he'd never indulged beforehand because he'd never found anyone special…

Optimus felt his Spark leap.

Wait, why? Why should he care if Starscream felt something for him other than contempt? It was probably because the Matrix was housed in his Spark chamber. This allowed him to extend empathy to any and every sentient creature and the idea that maybe Starscream ever _could _feel something for him beyond hatred left the belief that maybe there was some good in him after all. Maybe he could be saved. He could be pulled away from Megatron's constant abuse and neglect and showered with the affection he deserved.

Oh Primus.

No, Optimus could not allow these thoughts to continue. No matter what, Starscream still wore the Decepticon insignia—quite proudly, in fact—and that made him the Enemy. If Optimus thought of him as anything other than as the Enemy, it would leave room for error and that could cost one of his men their lives. What they had shared earlier that cycle would remain as such. It was a one time event that would never be spoken of ever again.

And yet, Optimus couldn't get the image of Starscream writhing beneath him out of his processor. His soft cries of pleasure. The way he arched elegantly against him. His face shining with fervent anticipation.

Optimus felt his cooling systems switch on from the sheer imagery. He cycled dismally. He could not deny that Starscream was a truly beautiful and sensual creature. Nor the fact that he had always held a reluctance to harm the Seeker in any way because he had a feeling that Megatron did quite enough of that. Nor the fact that, while a Decepticon, Optimus never really considered him the Enemy. To Optimus, anyone who had suffered at Megatron's hands, Autobot and Decepticon alike, were just as much a victim and should be treated accordingly. Of course, this begged the question as to whether Starscream even considered himself a victim. The obvious answer was "no." The Seeker was too proud to admit to such a thing. He must, however, know that the way that Megatron treats him is wrong and, on some level, he must know that he is a casualty.

And then there was the problem that, victim or not, he was still the Decepticon second in command and, should Megatron ever fall in battle, would automatically be the Supreme Commander. He was a dangerous adversary, even on his worst days. He was a gifted flyer, a brilliant strategist, a genius scientist, the fastest Cybertronian to ever take to the air, a deadly shot, and a temper that could match Megatron himself. He was quick to attack, but that didn't make him reckless, far from it. On occasion, Starscream would act impulsively—normally with expectedly disastrous consequences—but generally his mind was so lightening-quick that he'd already considered the benefits and consequences of his actions.

Or at least, that was Optimus' assumption. Starscream tended to make the right—or most beneficial to his cause—decisions in battle almost instantaneously. It stood to reason that Starscream was not only a fast flyer, but a fast thinker as well.

Optimus wondered if Megatron knew that about his lieutenant.

Megatron was the Enemy and Starscream had made it obvious on numerous occasions that he wanted to do away with his leader. On that point, they were on the same page, so to speak. This war would never end with Megatron still in charge. A brief thought skittered across Optimus' CPU that if he could gain the Seeker's affections then perhaps they could end the War diplomatically after all. However, he quickly pushed it aside, knowing instinctively that he could not, in good conscience, manipulate Starscream into giving him his trust only to use it as a tool to end the War. It would make him too much like Megatron if he ever took advantage of Starscream, even if it was to gain a positive end.

Optimus crossed the state line into Oregon and he knew that he was close to the Ark. It would only be another breem or so before the familiar sight of the volcano that held their base would come into view.

But some small part of him wasn't quite ready to head back. He knew that he should. He had been away for far too long already. Doing things that he really shouldn't have been doing. However, had he been in his bipedal mode, he'd have grinned smugly beneath his facemask. He had successfully blown Starscream's circuits to the point that he'd been sent off-line. By Primus was he inappropriately pleased with himself. He'd _never _knocked anyone unconscious before!

However, his satisfaction lasted only a few nanokliks as he remembered his earlier resolve to not let it happen again. It was getting more and more difficult with each passing astrosecond to keep himself loyal to his self-appointed resolution. He really, _really _wanted to see Starscream that way again. As much as he didn't want to admit to it, and as much as he knew that Starscream probably didn't want to see _him _again, he still couldn't help thinking about what he could do during their next encounter.

When would they next encounter each other? Would this change things on the battlefield? Would Starscream suddenly be a little less accurate at shooting the large red and blue semi? Would they ever even be able to make optic-contact again? Optimus was not ashamed by what he'd done—though by all rights he knew he should be—but was Starscream? The Seeker had more pride in one servo than most mechs had in their entire bodies and allowing himself to submit to the Autobot leader seemed like something high on his "List of Things That Should Not Be Done." And he had submitted, Optimus reflected. Willingly, passively, even. Odd, considering how Starscream normally liked to be in control of any situation.

The volcano came into view, the familiar sight of the Ark, jutting out of its side and a rather unfamiliar sight of Prowl standing outside, arms crossed over his headlights and, from what Optimus could make out, a look of severe disapproval marring his features. Did Prowl know? How could Prowl know? Optimus didn't think he had telepathic abilities. But that would certainly explain a lot. No, he was getting distracted. Well, there was only one way to find out what caused that look on Prowl's faceplates. Optimus steadily approached the Ark, neither accelerating nor decelerating, and even more warily transformed to robot mode.

"Prowl," he nodded. "What are you doing out here? It's rather late, don't you think? Surely Jazz wouldn't approve of you missing precious recharge time to wait up for me."

"Prime," Prowl began and Optimus inwardly sighed. He knew that voice. It was The Voice. The one he used when he scolded the twins. Optimus knew he was about to get drilled. "Where have you been? You disappeared right after the battle. That in and of itself is nothing new. However, you have been gone nearly the entire night cycle. I can only assume that a Decepticon was left behind. So where is he?"

Optimus wondered whether or not he should tell Prowl who it was. None of the other Autobots knew of his reservations about shooting Starscream, but if anyone would figure it out, it would be Prowl and he would not be happy about it.

"I was repairing the injured Decepticon and…" Optimus again had to fight the urge to fidget. Primus, he really shouldn't be so intimidated by his own subordinates. After mentally preparing himself, he finished, "…I sent him back to the Nemesis."

As expected, Prowl was not surprised by this knowledge—after all, Prime showing up prisoner-free was a pretty obvious hint—however, he was incredibly disappointed in his leader. "Who was it?"

Prime shrugged. "A Seeker."

"_Which _Seeker?"

Shrug. "I don't know, they all look the same to me." _Well, except for the One…_

"What color was he?"

Slag, he couldn't get around that one. And he couldn't lie. Not just out of having a bad conscience, but also because he was a terrible liar and Prowl would pick up on it immediately. "There was some red and there might have been some blue…"

"_Prime_." The Voice, again. Prowl was getting impatient. "Who was it?" he demanded pointedly.

Optimus cycled an intake. He knew he was about to be austerely reprimanded. He mumbled something incoherently.

"What?"

Optimus cycled again. "Starscream," he repeated, a little louder.

Prowl balked. "And you just let him _go_?!"

_Well, I did more than that, but you don't need to know _**all **_the details. _Optimus shuffled and muttered an affirmation.

"He's their _second in command_! To have him as our prisoner could have been essential for our Cause and debilitating for the Decepticons, and you repaired him and let him _go_?!"

Shuffle.

"What the Pits possessed you to do that?"

Shrug.

"Damn it, Prime, why would you do that?"

Optimus looked up at his tactician, masking his encompassing sadness for Starscream's situation. "He offered me information in exchange for letting him go."

Why would he say that? Optimus had received information from the Seeker, but it wasn't the kind that anyone else would find proper use for.

"Really?" Prowl asked, interest piqued. "What did he tell you?"

_Umm… nothing _**you'd **_want to hear._ "Well, I kind of… didn't take the information."

Prowl was not an emotional mech, by anyone's standards. He used logic to solve his problems, carefully analyzing every possible outcome and reasoning behind one's actions until he came to a satisfactory conclusion. He did not see the sense in yelling or just generally raising his voice to come to a solution. However, emotionless as he tended to be, he responded with a resounding:

"You _**WHAT?!?!**_"

Optimus flinched. "Well, I told him that I repaired him because it was the right thing to do and that I didn't expect any sort of reward for it."

"The Decepticon Air Commander—the second in command to our sworn enemies—offered you information freely in exchange for letting him go and you declined because… it was the 'right thing to do'?" He paused, trying to wrap his logic circuit around it. "Are you aware, Optimus Prime, that we are _**at war**_?! And when the lieutenant to our adversaries offers you information freely, that you _**take it**_! Primus, I respect you, you know I do, but, Optimus… I'm at a loss here. What were you _thinking_? Starscream offering up information is almost as good as Megatron himself! I know that you're not stupid, and all of this had to have occurred to you, so he must have given you something else in exchange for setting him free."

Optimus held in a gasp. Prowl was so close to figuring it out. Luckily it was dark so the dents in his arms that were conspicuously Seeker-sized were harder to see, but if he got even a glimpse of them, he'd understand in a Sparkpulse.

Primus was with Optimus that night.

Jazz came wandering out of the base not a nanoklik too soon, looking for his bondmate. "Oh, hey Optimus, whazzup?" he greeted enthusiastically, standing next to the tactician.

"He was just telling me how he repaired Starscream and then sent him on his way without taking the information that he offered up completely of his own free will." He crossed his arms again, looking critically at Optimus.

Jazz did not react as strongly as his bondmate, however a slight frown crossed his lips and he too was distinctly disappointed in his leader. "Huh, well, I guess we cain't expect much diff'rnt from our Matrix-bearer here. Heh, prob'ly din't want him thinkin' ya did whatcha did fer any other reason than jus' 'cause it was the right thing ta do."

Prowl looked incredulously at his bondmate while Optimus could only show his deepest gratitude. "That was exactly my reasoning." _Thank you, Jazz. Thank you, Primus._

"C'mon, bondmate," Jazz smiled. "Let's go ta bed. You've bin up all orn. I'm sure yer _exhausted_!"

Prowl shot one last stern look at his leader before allowing himself to be dragged back into the base by the saboteur.

When they disappeared inside the Ark, Optimus allowed his shoulders to slump in obvious relief. That had been far too close for his liking. His self-repair systems would have banged the dents out in the next few cycles. At least the physical evidence would be gone by next orn. He hoped that Prowl would forgive him. He knew that his Second would never fully understand the circumstances under which he'd made his decision, but he hoped that he would take his leader's normally flawless judgment in stride and excuse him for his "lapse."

Until then, however, Optimus just prayed to Primus that Prowl didn't figure out what other service Starscream had provided instead of information.

* * *

_This chapter… was über hard to write. It nearly killed me. The Starscream part was like… so hard. I wanted to get inside his head, but I kept getting stuck in the angst and yuck of it all. Optimus was much easier. Haha, Optimus _**is **_easy. He's much more straight-forward. I had fun with the exchange between him and Prowl. Tee-hee. And I hope you all don't hate me for Jazz/Prowl. I just can't help myself._

_Anyway, it's not as long as the first chapter (_**Thank Primus!**_) but I hope it satisfied ya'll long enough for me to write the next one._

_Ooh, ooh! You'll never guess. I'm so excited. I've written a—_

_Wait for it…_

—_**story board**__! Yay! So the story's all planned out and all I gots ta do is write it! Ooh, I'm so excited! But you wanna know something kinda sad? I never worked this hard on _**anything **_in school. Haha, like, ever. My parents are so disappointed._

_One more thing: I'm sure you guys (like, all five of you) will be happy to hear this: I'm going have the next chapter up on Wednesday, next week. No sooner and no later. It's a very special day for me, but you have to wait until then to know what. Hehe, the suspense will kill you._

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

_So, it's Wednesday! You all know what that means! Update!! _

_I don't know about you guys, but that was a really long week._

_Have you all been wondering what makes today so special? I bet it's been eating all of you up inside. *Not* Today's my birthday! Hooray! I'm 18 today! So I'm legally an adult and I can… do adult stuff. lol I don't know what adults do. Write fanfics, apparently, since that's what _**I'm **_doing. I know that technically, I'm supposed to _**get **_stuff, but I was in a giving mood, so instead, for my birthday, I'm _**giving**_ you the next chapter! Besides, you have all given me so much anyway. Seriously, without your positive responses, I know I wouldn't have written half this well and it just means so much to me. So thanks!_

_Enjoy my birthday present to you guys! _

* * *

Nearly a decacycle had passed since Optimus' and Starscream's "tryst" and during that time, they had both managed to convince themselves that to continue with their "relationship" was foolish, dangerous, and just overall vile. They were sworn enemies and to act in such a way was almost to the point of treasonous. They had forced their CPUs to ignore the pleasure that they had both received from their interfacing only to remind themselves that they were in a war and fraternizing with the enemy—especially when they were both so highly ranked—would be detrimental to their respective Causes.

They'd each carefully constructed powerful mental barriers to filter any thoughts of the other out of their processors which had worked quite well… unless their names happened to be mentioned in a conversation. Starscream had been sitting in a meeting, Soundwave sitting opposite, and Megatron at the head of the table, in the "War Room", discussing plans to obliterate the Autobots once and for all.

"…and once we've gained control of the power plant, then Optimus Prime and his band of degenerate soldiers will be no more!" Megatron had declared triumphantly.

Normally, Starscream would have snorted at the overindulgent theatrics of this latest assertion—because, really, it was just him and Soundwave; who was he trying to impress? Soundwave loved him more than was professionally appropriate and Starscream hated him with all of his Spark; and besides, this plan was just like any other and would end the same way that every other did because Megatron refused to listen to anything that left Starscream's vocal processor and would, once again, overlook some very minute, though potentially disastrous detail, and they'd be forced to retreat and then Megatron would find _some _way to pin the blame on Starscream and humiliate him in front of everyone (_again_) and nothing would be any different except that they'd used up an obscene amount of Energon for yet _another _of Megatron's fruitless endeavors and they would have to go hungry for another decacycle, _again_, until they came up with a new plan to retrieve energy… but he digressed—however, this time, he felt his optics flash minutely in desire at the sound of Optimus' name, remembering the way his engine rumbled across his cockpit, his hands mapping the expanse of his wings, how his spike had felt inside of him and… and was that humming the sound of his cooling fans? He was suddenly very thankful that he had been equipped with silent cooling systems.

Also, thankfully, the two other mechs didn't notice the erratic spike in his energy field or the way his core temperature peaked irregularly. They did, however, notice Starscream's distinct lack of outburst and Megatron pinned him with a penetrating stare.

_Heh,_ **penetrating**, Starscream thought idly, feeling a slight euphoric high sweeping his systems.

"What the Pits is wrong with you?" Megatron snapped.

Starscream jumped slightly, jolted out of his less-than-appropriate reverie, and locked wide optics with his leader. "Er… what do you mean?" he asked, feigning innocence and failing spectacularly.

He suddenly felt a gentle probing within his processor and knew that the blue mech sitting across from him was attempting to access his mind. Instinctively, he threw up his mental barriers, effectively blocking him out and glowered distastefully at him.

"What, you don't have some smart-aft comment to spout about my 'asinine' leadership?"

Starscream sneered, forcing back the unexpected flood of erotic memories in favor of his normal demeanor. "Oh, well, since you finally _admit _that you are unfit to be leader, then perhaps I should take my rightful place."

Megatron growled and quickly Starscream found a black fist connecting to the side of his helm. He should have expected as much, but that didn't stop the yelp of pain that escaped his vocalizer as he tumbled out of his chair to the floor.

"You will _never _lead the Decepticons," Megatron snarled venomously, towering over his lieutenant and glaring down contemptuously at him. "Now get your aft out of here and get to your duties. I don't want to see your despicable faceplate for the rest of this orn, and so help me if I do, it will not be a pleasant encounter."

Not needing a second invitation, Starscream bolted from the room, forgetting any sense of pride in favor of self-preservation.

Optimus hadn't had much luck, either, in terms of not thinking of his latest liaison with Starscream. Though his lapses would not potentially end with his deactivation.

His troops had gathered in the Control Room where he planned to receive his officers' reports as well as hand out that orns duties. Sunstreaker had been talking, quite loudly, about the latest battle with the Decepticons.

"…heh, and that Pit-spawned Starscream," he was saying as Optimus entered. "I shot him right square in the thrusters. The slagger crashed almost an astro-mile from the battlefield. I wouldn't be surprised if Megatron left him for dead." This was met by nodding approval and a few whoops from the others.

Optimus couldn't help but wince. Not just at the unexpected callousness his men were exhibiting, but also in sympathy for the Seeker. It just didn't seem _fair _for his men to display such hatred toward him. Deep down, Optimus couldn't help thinking that there was something beyond the cold, ruthlessness that was almost synonymous with the Decepticon second in command. If only they'd seen him like _he _had… Where he'd been practically _begging_ for Optimus to finish him off, how soft and sensuous he'd been, how _willing_…

Optimus couldn't entirely hold back the sudden irritation he felt toward his men. "Sunstreaker," he barked, his voice unnaturally sharp. The room quieted immediately, every mech tense at the unexpected reaction of their leader. "Starscream may be our enemy; however, as Autobots, we are never to flaunt the taking of another's life as if it were nothing more than a common turbofox. We are not Decepticons and we do not revel in the deactivation of another, no matter who it is. The loss of _any _life is a tragedy and, while you may feel certain animosities for our enemies, we do not_ celebrate _their termination. Do I make myself clear?"

He was met with surprised blue optics from the yellow Lamborghini twin. After a nanoklik, he muttered dejectedly, "Yes, Optimus Prime, sir."

Optimus nodded curtly in approval and proceeded to obtain the progress reports from his officers.

He did not notice the odd look that he received from his tactician after scolding Sunstreaker.

Presently, however, Starscream stood next to his leader, looking over the land that was soon to become their battlefield. It appeared to be a vast wasteland of nothing but sand, rocks, dirt and other geological manifestations that, once coming into contact with one's armor, would scratch, dent, or get stuck between various joints, making for a bunch of thoroughly displeased Transformers, Decepticons and Autobots alike. However, right in the middle of this expansive desert was a nuclear facility, producing immense amounts of energy in the space of only a few nanokliks.

This was a simple raiding mission. Nothing terribly special. Like every other raid, they were going to attack this plant, pilfer the energy to be turned into Energon cubes, most likely scuffle with the Autobots and retreat… like common thugs. How were they supposed to win this war if all they ever did was invade pathetic human facilities so that they could survive long enough to come up with another plan that would "obliterate the Autobots once and for all" just like every _other _plan that Megatron came up with?

However, so far, much as Starscream was loathe to admit, things had been going remarkably smoothly. Soundwave had sent Frenzy down to shut off the security in the plant. The humans hadn't noticed their abrupt lack of surveillance yet, so it was time to move into phase two. Megatron gave the order and Starscream led his Seekers down to the plant. He'd given strict orders not to fire once they were in close vicinity of the facility as nuclear energy was remarkably unstable and any stray shots could lead to a massive nuclear explosion. Megatron had, of course, dismissed his concern; however, Starscream still instructed his Seekers not to fire unless absolutely necessary.

_:Pshaw, Screamer, I'm practically a _**sniper**_ when it comes to shooting!: _Skywarp declared through their private Seeker channel.

:_Heh, yeah, a _**blind**_ sniper:_ Thundercracker returned.

_:Will you two shut up? I thought I told you to maintain radio silence: _Starscream snapped.

_:Well… yeah, but we didn't think you _**meant **_it: _Skywarp muttered.

_:Since when have I ever said something I don't mean?: _demanded their trineleader.

_:All the time, like when you say that you'll beat Megatron and take over the Decepticons:_

Had Starscream been in robot mode, he'd have punched Skywarp in the faceplate. As it was, he merely smacked him on his wing, earning a cry both out loud and through their link.

_:What was that for?: _he whined.

_:You pissed me off. Now shut up unless I give you an order otherwise:_

_:Hey, he said "pissed"!: _Skywarp pointed out, blatantly ignoring this recent instruction.

_:Yeah, you're starting to sound like one of those flesh-bags, Starscream: _Thundercracker agreed.

The Air Commander growled at their insolence, but did not reply. They landed right outside the plant. The schematics that Frenzy had obtained reported that they were just outside of the main generator room. This was where they were to siphon the energy to have it converted into Energon.

Skywarp raised his arm cannon, obviously about to create an "entrance", when Starscream immediately pushed it back down. "Did your tiny processor forget my orders not to fire already or did you simply not listen in the first place?" he hissed at his wingmate.

Skywarp shrugged. "Both."

"So then how are we supposed to get in?" Thundercracker queried evenly.

In a voice that all but said "duh", Starscream responded, "Skywarp _can _teleport, you know."

"Oh yeah," he said, remembering his special ability with something akin to surprise. He touched both of his wingmates on the shoulder and, in a flash of white light and an unpleasant lurching in their fuel tanks, they were inside the main generator room. The few humans inside looked up in shock, which quickly turned into fear, as they recognized the blazing purple on the three pairs of wings and scattered.

"Ooh, let me shoot one, please, please, _please_," Skywarp begged.

Starscream cycled impatiently. Why him? Why was he stuck with such an idiotic wingmate?

"No, Skywarp," Thundercracker replied, like one speaking to a dense Sparkling, "remember? We don't _want _to be melted into a puddle of slag. So no shooting around unstable materials, okay?"

"Fine," their purple wingmate pouted, crossing his arms huffily over his cockpit.

"Spare me your sulking," Starscream snapped, pulling a small circular device from his subspace. "This requires a vast amount of concentration and I personally don't want to you to distract me at a critical moment where it could mean we all get blown to scrap!"

He glared at the teleporter who only sulked further, but he remained silent. Starscream carefully approached one of the generators and, after doing some quick calculations, discovered the "hot spot" where there was significantly more energy flow than any other area. Then, even more cautiously, he placed it onto one of the generators where it latched on with four small claws on each side of it. Starscream had taken every precaution when inventing this device, knowing that if it were to pierce any of the generators in the wrong place, it could very well result in a nuclear meltdown. The converter was powered by the kinetic energy being created by the spinning of the turbines and, with careful precision, it would create a miniscule nick in the metal where a tube would enter the machine and convert the energy into Energon.

Starscream set up six other devices on the other generators, then commed Megatron to let him know that they had successfully planted the devices and were awaiting the other's arrival.

"Well that was… boring," Skywarp muttered, sounding almost disappointed.

"We still have to harvest the Energon, 'Warp," Thundercracker reminded him. "There's still plenty of time for you to shoot some Autobots."

He was visibly relieved by this knowledge. "Good, because it's just not a good day until I've gotten a little target practice with those soft-Sparked buffoons."

"'Buffoons'?" Thundercracker repeated.

"Yeah, it's a human word. It's like 'slagger' or 'aft-head'. You know, some of those insults these nasty little fleshies have are actually really creative."

Starscream cycled dramatically. "Frag it, Skywarp. Do you even _know _how _disgusting _it is that you're picking up the humans' vocabulary?"

He shrugged nonchalantly in response. "Hey, you were the one who said 'pissed' earlier. Don't start complaining to _me _that _I'm _the only one picking up the fleshbags' insults."

"Where do you think I _learned _that word?"

"Doesn't mean you had to use it."

Before Starscream could properly respond, there was a resounding _boom_ and the wall to the generator room practically disintegrated. Silhouetted against the smoke and standing amongst the rubble was a large looming figure… whose fusion cannon was raised and pointing right where the wall had been only a nanoklik beforehand.

"Megatron!!" Starscream shrieked. "What are you _doing_?! If the blast from your cannon goes astray, it could—"

"Spare me," he cut off impatiently. "I have no time for your petty concerns. Just activate the converters and we can retrieve the Energon."

Starscream glared at him. Science was his expertise! Why did he never listen to Starscream's warnings? Especially when it turned out that he was usually right.

However, the Air Commander did not raise these concerns to his leader and, with a silent instruction, activated the converters. Soundwave stepped forward, producing empty Energon cubes to be filled and transported back to the Nemesis. The cone-heads stepped up, each grabbing an armful of cubes, and they each proceeded to one of the generators. Starscream's trine did the same. It didn't take long after their activation for the little gadgets to begin the conversion of the energy and, from a tube sticking out of the bottom, pink liquid began oozing out into the cubes. Soon the oozing turned into a well-controlled flood and each Seeker soon had a large pile of filled cubes stacked behind them. Rumble and Frenzy both worked at the seventh generator, grumbling about how they could just barely reach the Energon. Needless to say, their pile was significantly smaller than their larger counterparts.

Megatron, naturally, stood back, watching his subordinates work with a look of utter boredom on his faceplates. Soundwave—_ever the pet_, Starscream thought bitterly—was positioned next to the silver warlord, watching impassively, as always, while the six Seekers and his two Cassetticons worked diligently.

This was such menial labor, Starscream decided. He was Megatron's _second in command_! He shouldn't be doing such tedious work! That should be _him _standing next to Megatron, watching while everyone _else _did all the work. He turned back to say as much… when he saw Megatron scowling at him, daring him to object. Under any other circumstance, Starscream wouldn't have cared and risen to the challenge at once… However, standing right next to a nuclear generator where a single misplaced fusion blast could bring about the destruction of his being made him keep his mouth shut and continue working in reluctant silence.

Megatron smirked when his lieutenant wisely remained silent and turned away. He was in no mood to deal with Starscream's whining. His Air Commander had been complaining all orn about the instability of this power plant and it was starting to severely grate on Megatron's nerve receptors. Really, did Starscream think Megatron didn't know what he was doing? Of _course _he knew the hazards of nuclear energy. It was why he'd chosen this plant in the first place. The Autobots wouldn't dare attack around such unstable compounds if it put those pathetic flesh creatures in danger. Even if it meant allowing the Decepticons to escape with extra Energon.

_And that is why Prime will lose_, Megatron thought triumphantly. _Because he is afraid of a little sacrifice._

The warlord's musings were interrupted when a streak of black and red came swooping through the "door." Laserbeak landed gracefully on the silver outstretched arm being offered to him.

_:Autobots approaching: _he reported. _:Approximate time of arrival: five kliks:_

"Good work, Laserbeak," Megatron praised, allowing him to return to his Creator's chest.

Working at one of the generators, Starscream couldn't help the pang of jealousy in his processor from the compliment. _Stupid slagging cyber-vulture_, he grumbled sullenly. _If _**I'd **_told him that, I would have gotten chastised for not telling him sooner. _

Along with the pang of resentment he felt from hearing the "stupid slagging cyber-vulture" being so freely commended, he also felt a surge of anticipation. This was, in and of itself, relatively normal. He enjoyed destroying Autobots as much—maybe more—than Skywarp. However, it wasn't that he was anticipating the battle, but a certain Autobot's arrival…

_No, _**no**_, I'm stronger than that! _Starscream objected. _I've spent the last decacycle getting him _**out **_of my head! I shouldn't be so eager to see that slagger after all that time ridding myself of every thought of him from my processor! Where the Pits did my resolve go?!_

"Decepticons!" Megatron announced, interrupting Starscream's dilemma abruptly. "The Autobots will be arriving shortly. You all know the plan. Get to your positions!"

Starscream hated this plan. They were Seekers. They were built to fight at a distance which meant that they would have to shoot, which meant that stray laser fire would be flying all over the place, which severely increased the chances of inducing a nuclear explosion, which would be quite harmful to their well-being. Why hadn't Megatron brought along some _ground _troops? Besides Soundwave, anyway. Pits, the _Stunticons _might even… well, maybe not. But he could have at least brought the Constructicons for Devastator.

However, Starscream kept his thoughts to himself. It was too late now, anyway. The Autobots were on their way and Starscream knew that to change the plan last klik would end in disaster. It's not like it was particularly complicated. Like every other fray with the Autobots, they were just going to try to hold them back long enough to retrieve the Energon and return to the Nemesis.

"Megatron, why don't we just take the Energon and leave instead of engaging the Autobots?" Starscream asked. "This way we can guarantee our success as opposed to allowing the Autobots to destroy our pilfered Energon."

Megatron sneered. "Always the coward," he scoffed. "We will not scurry from our hole like a group of frightened turbo-rats. We will fight and we will destroy the Autobots once and for all. Now get your pathetic aft to your position and do not bother me again with your pitiable objections!" He made as if to strike the Seeker who quickly obliged in favor of avoiding punishment.

Well, he'd done all that he could do. There was no way that Megatron could pin the blame on him for this failure. The only thing left to do was to fight and hope that everything went well so that Megatron couldn't find an excuse to humiliate Starscream.

The Autobots were off in the distance, a vague shimmer against the surrounding dusty landscape. Increasing his optical range, Starscream could just barely make out the individual Autobots. The trigger-happy one was with them—Ironhide?—and the one with the hologram projector, the little yellow one, the little red one, the Special Ops agent, and those slagging, Pit-spawned Lamborghini twins. And leading them all was the red and blue form of the Autobot leader. Starscream felt a sudden heat sweep through his systems at the sight, which was followed with a growl of frustration. He'd already resigned himself to no more of those activities, but his body was responding of its own accord. It was infuriating, to say the least.

Starscream took his place on the opposite side of the nuclear facility. He and his trine were awaiting Megatron's order to attack. While they kept the Autobots occupied, the cone-heads were going to load up all the Energon and head back to the Nemesis. Once they were safely out of range, Starscream's trine would follow, hopefully, with all of their appendages still in working order. The cone-heads were currently in the process of loading the Energon into their cargo bays in the generator room. The Autobots were coming closer still.

_When are we going to attack? _Starscream wondered, becoming increasingly edgy as the Autobots quickly closed the distance. He wanted this fight to happen as far from their current position as possible so there would be less of a chance of instigating an explosion. Megatron, however, seemed to have different ideas.

Finally, just when Starscream could make out the individual slates on their grills, Megatron gave the order. "Decepticons, _attack_!!"

As one, Starscream's trine transformed in perfect unison and took off, firing their thrusters in the direction of the Autobots. Starscream felt his systems beginning to synch with his trinemates. He could relay instructions and maneuvers as they came to him without having to verbally give them. It was a bond that was forged over vorns of battling side-by-side. During battle, they would become aware of, not only their own positions and status, but that of their wingmates as well. It wasn't exactly the same as a Spark-bond where they could hear coherent thoughts and feelings, but there was an awareness that allowed them to communicate without words. It was an impersonal bond that translated only commands and the current status of their wingmates.

A fact that Starscream was sincerely thankful for.

As soon as his trine burst from their position, the Autobots transformed, a little more clumsily than the Command Trine. They pulled blasters from their subspaces and Starscream found himself focusing inappropriately on Optimus as he gave the battle instructions.

"Hound, Bumblebee, Cliffjumper, go evacuate the humans. Ironhide, Jazz, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, with me. Help me bring down the Seekers."

Starscream sent a brief command to make sure that his Seekers used their lasers sparingly and to always aim away from the nuclear plant.

_:Starscream, you're such a wuss!: _Skywarp laughed, firing haphazardly at the Autobots.

_:Wuss?: _Thundercracker repeated, peppering the ground with purple fire.

_:Another human word. It's like "coward", but less Megatron-sounding:_

Any responses were cut short as they were forced to scatter to avoid the flurry of orange fire. Starscream somersaulted gracefully before returning to shoot at the Autobots. He aimed for the yellow Lamborghini twin because it had been he in the last battle that had shot Starscream down and the Air Commander had yet to forgive him.

"Die, Autobot!" Starscream screeched as a shot grazed his right shoulder plating.

"Hey, Sides, looks like _someone's _still holding a grudge!" Sunstreaker crowed, easily dodging the shot that predictably followed.

"Now, now, Starscream!" Sideswipe chastised condescendingly. "Holding grudges isn't very nice!"

Instead of responding, Starscream released a stint of laser fire. They dodged—albeit clumsily—and did not continue with their irritating banter. Megatron had burst forth from his location and was battling with Prime in hand-to-hand combat. The two faction leaders matched the other's moves with experienced precision. It looked like little more than a dance. Punches were thrown and effectively blocked, kicks barely grazing their target, tackles evaded and countered effortlessly.

Soundwave was grappling with Jazz, his irritating little army of toys bursting forth from their compartment to lend their support. What the saboteur lacked in size he easily made up for in agility. He was merely a blur of blue and black as he danced out of the way of three sets of blaster fire.

The battle had started about three hundred yards from the nuclear power plant and had, quite steadily, moved closer. Starscream had noticed the procession, but had been holding out for the cone-heads to have pulled out by this point.

_:Thrust, what the Pits is _**taking **_so long?: _Starscream demanded.

_:Hey, hey, don't get your circuits in a bunch!: _he answered with obvious frustration. _:We're doin' the best we can! It's just Rumble and Frenzy here to load us up and, trust me, they aren't exactly efficient!:_

_:Well hurry up!: _He cut the link with an irritated huff. He was surrounded by buffoons…

… Slagging Skywarp.

Starscream calculated the "safety zone" to be at least two hundred yards away from the plant. Meaning that if they were any closer than that, then just one misplaced shot could cause a chain reaction and blow them all straight to the Pits.

Starscream effortlessly dodged another shot and found his optical sensors being drawn back to Prime. In his jet form, he couldn't "see" in the normal sense, but he had optical sensors all around his body that could sense activity. It gave him the information of what was going on around him without the distraction of seeing the flurry of activity.

He could "see" Prime battling with Megatron. Even though he couldn't perceive the intricate details of their fight, he could picture the two leaders clashing in a titanic exchange of limbs and insults. He'd always admired the way that Prime fought. He was never quite sure why. Despite his bulk, the Autobot leader seemed to have an odd grace in his style. Each move meshed fluidly with the one before it, never appearing to be ruffled when he was struck, always calm in times of crisis. Starscream had always thought that Autobot politics put the sappiest, most idealistic mech in charge with no regard for fighting or leadership abilities. And yet, there was Prime, evenly matching Megatron, move for move.

Then, _finally_, there was a blur of red, black and blue and the cone-heads were zooming out of the power plant. It was only a matter of time before Megatron made the order to retreat. However, with the way this battle was going, that might take a while. No one was really doing any significant damage. Odd, really. There was no real sense of urgency. In fact, this was almost _boring_. Or, at least, Starscream thought so. Skywarp, as always, was having the time of his life blasting merrily away at the red and yellow twins. Thundercracker followed suit, a little less enthusiastically.

Starscream, however, was merely contented to dodge shots and float aimlessly through the sky. He hadn't even fired his own cannons for the past few kliks. He'd gotten lost in his own thoughts. It was only then that he noticed they were barely fifty yards from the power plant. And Megatron was raising his fusion cannon to shoot Prime, who was standing right in front of the hole in the generator room.

"Megatron, don't!" Starscream shrieked, re-directing the direction of his thrusters and transforming to land swiftly, but gracefully, next to his leader. "If your shot misses, you could—"

"Starscream, stop your sniveling!" Megatron snarled. "I've got Prime right where I want him and I'm not going to waste my chance to dispose of him just because of some unfounded fear of yours! Besides, I never miss."

The barrel of the fusion cannon glowed ominously pink. "But Megatron, even if you hit him, he could fly back and hit one of the turbines! Or the aftershock caused by the blast could disrupt the normal flow of the nuclear fusion! In fact, our laser fire alone could cause—"

"Enough!" Megatron barked, effectively silencing his lieutenant. "I will not listen to your insubstantial grievances any longer!" He punched Starscream—hard—in the faceplate and turned back to his nemesis… only to find that he had seized the opportunity of Megatron's inattention and was rushing toward him.

"Autobots!" he called as he resumed battle with his foe. "Hold your fire! Any stray shots could potentially destroy the plant!"

Starscream, who had been knocked to the ground by the blow, looked up with wide optics at Prime. _Optimus _believed Starscream? Not only that, but he was actually going to _do _something about it? He wasn't just going to dismiss his concerns, but address them and act accordingly?

The two leaders grappled viciously, ignoring the staring Seeker.

Starscream was feeling too surreal to do anything remotely helpful in this battle. Someone had actually _listened _to him! Someone had actually _believed _him! He wasn't used to this feeling. This feeling that he had contributed something to the fight other than his sheer presence. He didn't entirely know what to do with himself. But it had been Optimus Prime… Did this have anything to do with what they'd shared earlier that decacycle? Or would he have made the order anyway? It didn't take a genius to know what would happen if a shot from an ion blaster came into contact with a nuclear generator.

The communication sensors on Megatron's abdominal plating blinked several times, indicating that the other Seekers had passed the checkpoint. With Thrust and his trine safely out of range, Megatron gave the order to fall back. A split astrosecond before take-off, Starscream's optics briefly met Optimus'. In that fleeting glance, they had an entire conversation. They saw the longing in the other's optics, the reservations of not wanting to continue which mingled with the desire to do so again, the resolution that it would never happen again which had shattered the moment they saw the other.

In that one passing glance, they came to an agreement: maybe there _wasn't _anything wrong with a little pleasure.

Starscream smirked. _Knew the slagger couldn't resist me_, he thought smugly, getting to his pedes and transforming to follow his wingmates into the sky, feeling as though a weight had been removed from his Spark.

* * *

_Ooh, aren't we excited?! A _**battle **_scene! Something actually _**happened **_and it wasn't just a bunch of drabbles and thinking and "retrospecting". ^_^_

_I hope you enjoyed chapter 3! Chapter 4 is about 1/3 of the way done. But I'm thinking that I'm going to upload it after I've finished chapter 5. That way, I can always be one chapter ahead of you guys and I don't have to wonder where the next chapter is going to go. Of course, with my little storyboard, I already know where the next chapter is going to go, but writing it is, like, way harder than I'd originally thought. Also, you guys will know that when I update, the next chapter is already written and waiting in the wings, so to speak._

_And, yes, I _**am **_proud of myself for that idea._

_Oh yeah, and I used actual "Transformers" physics for the thing with the power plant. ;) _


	4. Chapter 4

_So I actually ended up writing most of this with my cat sitting on my lap. I guess she was cold. *shrug*_

_Guess what, you guys! I'm sure you've all been waiting for this since the first chapter._

_Warnings: Explicit sticky sex! That's the best kind!_

* * *

Optimus knew why he was going. He was strong enough to admit to himself that he greatly enjoyed their first interfacing. Despite constantly reminding himself that it was stupid, that it was foolish, that Starscream probably didn't even _want_ to see him again, Optimus held onto that infinitesimal glimmer of hope that they could experience it once again. Then, earlier that orn, during the battle, when they'd made optic contact, Optimus saw it. He saw that Starscream felt exactly the same way that he did: the doubt, the hope, the insecurity, the desire. And he knew that Starscream saw the same thing in his optics. Somehow, in that one flickering glance, they'd had an entire conversation. And that was why Optimus was going. He knew what he wanted. He knew who he wanted to get it from. And it was as simple as that.

Well, he _wished _it was as simple as that. Starscream was still the Decepticon second in command and he was still the Autobot Commander and they were going to meet in secret with no regards to factions and indulge themselves in selfish bliss.

But Optimus found that he didn't particularly care. Right now, he couldn't seem to push his engine hard enough to get him there any faster. All that he could think about was all the things he'd wanted to do to the Seeker for over a decacycle.

It didn't take him nearly as long as he would have thought to make it to the canyon he'd originally found Starscream in. As expected, the Seeker was already there, the pinnacle of boredom. However, Optimus couldn't stop the sudden flare of heat that sparked through his systems. Starscream was sitting on a rock, legs crossed one over the other, arms folded of his cockpit, a look of utter apathy on his faceplates. Primus, he was so beautiful. He looked so poised, so elegant, sitting like that. Optimus knew that, despite the look of nonchalance, Starscream was probably looking forward to this as much as he was. He'd seen the passion in those gorgeous ruby optics only a few cycles before. He'd seen the longing. Optimus knew that Starscream couldn't wait for this.

* * *

He heard the rumble of Optimus' engine and looked up. Though his face remained neutral, he felt a thrill of anticipation sweep through his circuits. He would be damned if he would show how desperate he was for the attention that Optimus had lavished on him a decacycle previously. Instead, he would opt to demonstrate pure insouciance, as if this was nothing more to him than a routine appointment. Of course, inside, he was pacing nervously from side to side, waiting with edgy expectation, anxiously glancing up every few nanokliks at the horizon. His Spark was pounding furiously against its casing, its beat doubling at the sight of the Autobot leader speedily approaching.

This time felt different. Perhaps it was because he knew what to expect or… something else. Primus, what _was _that odd feeling in his Spark? It was the familiar warm sensation he'd felt after the first meeting. It started again after Prime gave the order to hold their fire and it hadn't gone away, despite his confusion and frustration.

He was pleased, nonetheless, that Prime had seemed as interested in repeating their last session as he was. He hadn't wanted to—or, at least, he _told _himself that he didn't want to—but there was always that nagging part of his processor urging him to contact Prime, especially after a particularly nasty dressing-down from Megatron. He tried to ignore it, tried to tell himself that he was simply losing his mind, nothing to worry about, but still, he greatly wished to feel Optimus ravishing his body with those rough, yet talented hands.

Prime transformed quickly once he was within a respectable distance of the still-perched Seeker.

Unwilling to throw himself at the Autobot leader, all pride and decorum forgotten in order to gain what they both already knew was inevitable, Starscream leisurely got to his pedes and asked, "How did you know to come here?"

Surprised that this meeting was starting off with a conversation, Prime didn't answer for a nanoklik. After the question processed, however, he replied, "Well, I could tell that you wanted to meet again and I knew you wouldn't want to reconvene outside the power plant with human witnesses, so I figured that we would get together at the same place where all of this started."

Starscream nodded, satisfied with the answer. "'All of this'," he repeated thoughtfully. "And what, exactly, _is _'all of this'?"

Optimus cocked his head in slight confusion. "I… don't follow."

"If we are to continue with our little… affair, then I would like to know what it means to you. I want to make sure that _this _isn't going to affect anything once we return to our respective factions. I want to make it clear that… _this_… is little more than a habitual meeting in which we can both satisfy our sexual desires and that it is nothing more."

His stance and expression read all business; however, swimming just beneath the surface of his optics Optimus could just barely make out a look that he would almost call pleading. Optimus nodded. "Yes, I understand," he replied softly. And he did. Starscream recognized that they were both still at war and that if their relationship were to become anything more than physical, there could be disastrous consequences. However, as Optimus "read between the lines", he couldn't help feeling a flutter of excitement in his Spark. "But… you would like for this to continue past tonight?"

Starscream appeared to be a little startled. He suddenly looked a bit unsure of himself. "Perhaps… if we met on the same date, once every Earth month, at this place…" He trailed off, fidgeting slightly.

"Yes, I think that could work," Optimus assured him. Starscream was visibly relieved, judging by how his shoulders slumped ever so minutely and his wings drooped, releasing the pent-up stress. "We will consider this area neutral ground. As acting commander of the Autobots, I vow that no aggressive actions will be carried out at this place unless first provoked by the opposing faction."

The corners of Starscream's mouth twitched into an almost-smile at these words. "And, as the second in command of the… heh, _opposing faction_, I too vow that we won't try to slag you when you come out here, all naïve, and not bringing any back-up because you went and trusted a Decepticon." He smirked haughtily.

Optimus chuckled softly. "I suppose that's good enough."

Starscream frowned slightly, a thought coming to him. "Why did you do it?" he inquired suddenly

"Do what?"

"Make the order not to fire."

Optimus mirrored Starscream's countenance beneath his battle mask. "I would have thought it was obvious."

Starscream's thoughtful frown morphed into a scowl. "Apparently not," he returned coldly.

Optimus was taken aback by Starscream's abrupt shift in mood, but quickly regained his composure. "You were the one who said that laser fire could disrupt the nuclear fusion and cause a meltdown. I didn't want to take any chances."

"So… you believed me?"

Optimus saw where this was going. "Of course."

"But… why?"

"Skyfire told me that you studied at the Science Academy. If anyone would know anything about nuclear fusion, I would expect it to be you."

Prime watched Starscream's expression and body language carefully. First, he seemed surprised at the mention of Skyfire's name and the knowledge that it had been he who had relayed that part of Starscream's past. Then, his wings hiked up very slightly in approval of the compliment, which melted into a look of confusion, then appreciation, and finally settling back into his schooled demeanor of indifference. It only lasted a nanoklik.

He shrugged aloofly, but Optimus could see the gratitude simmering just beneath the surface of his detached features. "Skyfire told you about me?" he asked impassively, changing the subject.

"He said you and he used to be colleagues and I was curious."

Starscream was slightly disappointed that Skyfire hadn't told him of his own volition. He knew that _he_ openly spoke about his old friend when he was with his wingmates… even if he was only spouting insults about why he was such a traitor. However, he found himself mildly flattered to hear that Prime had asked about him in the first place. However, he did not mention this to Prime. Instead, they both fell quite still and silent, waiting for the other to make the first move.

Finally, when Starscream couldn't stand the tension anymore, more out of sheer nervousness than actual irritation, he snapped, "Well, _I _made the first move last time and I didn't even know what the slag I was doing! The _least_ you could do is get this started!"

Optimus was startled by Starscream's sudden outburst, but he found himself quickly amused at how _twitchy_ the Seeker seemed. He chuckled softly, his awkwardness fading away as he moved forward to embrace the Air Commander. He wrapped his arms around the slim white waist, pulling him to his chassis. He felt Starscream stiffen slightly, but it lasted only a nanoklik and he relaxed into the embrace. Smaller cobalt hands came up to lightly graze his windshield as Optimus' own azure hands ran up and down Starscream's spinal column. The smaller mech shivered at the gentle caress, his core temperature warming almost embarrassingly quickly.

It was obvious that, once again, he would be in control of this meeting, so Optimus opted to take things just a little slower than before. But his determination crumbled swiftly at the faint moan that escaped Starscream's vocalizer. He was already surprisingly warm, considering that they had just started. His cockpit barely touching his chassis already radiated with heat.

"You've been looking forward to this, haven't you?" Optimus murmured.

Starscream pressed himself against the Autobot commander, nodding his head against heated pectoral plating. Optimus was taken aback at the sudden intimacy of the gesture. It seemed like a silly thing for him to be worried about intimacy considering what they were doing, but Starscream himself had expressed the desire to make this as impersonal as possible. However, Optimus found that he didn't mind. He even pulled the Seeker closer to him, reveling in the sensation of his Spark beating so close to his own. A brief thought skittered across his CPU involving both of their Sparks, but he quickly pushed it away. He knew that was over-stepping the boundaries that Starscream had laid down.

Speaking of lying down… Optimus gently coaxed a surprisingly docile Seeker to lie on his back so they could continue more easily. Once he had situated himself between Starscream's legs, Optimus reached out to stroke one of those gorgeous wings. He ran his fingers over the aileron, loving the shuddering intake he got in response. His other hand drifted lazily across the red chassis. Curious, he dipped a finger into one of the pectoral vents. Starscream's optics widened and he moaned in obvious bliss.

Starscream wanted to do something, he really did. Wanted to return even a fraction of the pleasure that Optimus was giving him. But his body wouldn't obey him. Whenever Prime slid those wonderfully delicious hands over his frame, his motor functions effectively shut down and all he could do was keen and whimper at the seductive touches. He didn't know it, but that was more than enough for Optimus.

A provocative sapphire hand fanned out the expanse of the silver wing presented before him. He teased the wiring connecting it to the wing struts, focusing just a small amount of his electrical field into his finger and sending it directly into the delicate circuitry. Starscream arched up against him, an erotic gasp playing across those full, luscious lips. Entranced, Optimus tenderly traced them with his unoccupied hand, thrilled by how smooth and soft they were.

_Ooh, finally_, Starscream managed to think through the haze of arousal, realizing that he actually _could _contribute to this experience.

Fingers still tracing his lips, Starscream opened his mouth slightly and lightly sucked on one of the cerulean digits. Dimmed scarlet optics locked onto bright sapphire and the Seeker's lips twitched in a scandalously appealing way. Prime's intakes hitched at the sight.

Fleetingly, he thought, _Well that's… kinky, _before his engines revved violently at the stimulating imagery. He slid another finger into Starscream's mouth, feeling a warm glossa smoothing over his digits. Optimus probed his fingers around in that impossibly hot mouth, cooling fan bursting to life at the sensation. He felt more than heard the soft whirr that fell from Starscream's vocalizer as Optimus continued to explore his mouth. His optics were off-line completely, his body practically vibrating with pent-up heat and energy. Optimus slid his other hand down the sleek cockpit, fingers dipping into various seams in his armor. Starscream mewled as Optimus' hand wound down his body, the slight vibration tickling the fingers in his mouth.

Lower and lower Optimus' hand drifted until finally coming into contact with the blisteringly hot metal of Starscream's codpiece. The Seeker's cry was muffled by his makeshift gag. He bucked wildly beneath Optimus, communicating his need to the Autobot leader. His optics on-lined and he looked lewdly up at his partner. His panel was dripping with lubricant, almost painfully hot against Optimus' hand.

Instead of indulging in Starscream's need quite yet, Optimus ran his hand along Starscream's inner thigh. The metal there was warm and, judging by the sudden whimper escaping Starscream's otherwise occupied lips, incredibly sensitive. Optimus laughed huskily. That was interesting. He stored the information away in his databanks to be recalled later. Now, however, his spike was pushing against its panel and his own need for satisfaction was becoming almost overpowering. With a silent command, his codpiece opened, his spike drawing out. Starscream smirked around the fingers, optics glazed over with lust. Optimus slid open Starscream's panel, revealing his dripping valve.

He removed his fingers from the dark mouth, preferring to have both hands for this next part. He glanced up at Starscream, asking for permission, which, naturally, was granted with a vigorous nod and expectant optics. Hands on scarlet hips, Optimus braced the Seeker for his entrance. He slid his spike into the exposed port slowly, basking in the warm wetness that greeted him. Starscream cried out incoherently, hands instinctively tightening around Optimus' shoulder plating. He drove his hips down onto Optimus' hardness, shrieking in ecstasy.

Primus, it was just as tight as it had been the first time. The inner walls hadn't softened in the slightest. Not that Optimus was complaining, far from it. It still felt so incredibly, unbelievably, amazingly _good_! Optimus thrust into Starscream again, his pace slow and deep. Red optics flared in desire, like fire. The heat pouring off the smaller mech's body helped support the image.

"More, oh Primus, _please _Optimus!" Starscream cried wantonly. He arched his back, cockpit scraping against windshield. He rubbed frantically against Optimus, desperately trying to get his release.

Watching the Seeker writhe so beautifully beneath him was his undoing. He drew back and drove deeper into the Seeker. His pace quickened, each thrust sharper and more shallow than the one before. Starscream matched him move for move, their release coming faster with every force. Lubricant leaked down Starscream's inner thigh. He was so close now, only a few more thrusts and… and…

Starscream's field of vision exploded in a flash of white, electricity racing through his body. He screamed Optimus' name so loudly that it bounced off the canyon walls, making it sound as if there were multiple Starscreams overloading at perfectly timed intervals. Optimus reached his peak almost directly after Starscream, the echoes forcing him into a raw and violent overload.

Starscream watched in awe as Optimus overloaded just above him. He could feel the heat surge through his spike and into him. His sapphire optics flickered as the electricity coursed through him and he roared Starscream's name to the heavens. Then, when it was all over, he collapsed on top of the exhausted Seeker. Once he'd regained enough strength to move, he forced his limbs to push him off the Air Commander, slowly extracting himself from the still-dripping valve and rolled to lie next to his lover. He made sure not to lie too close so as not to violate his limits.

Starscream was staring vacantly up at the sky, optics dimmed to a deep burgundy, a distant little grin on his face. _Oh yes, this was most definitely worth it, _he decided, processor still buzzing with excess energy. His optics drifted lazily over to Prime who was looking at him, the same thoughts mirrored in blue.

Starscream wound his arms around his head, awkwardly positioning around his shoulder vents, and sighed blissfully. He felt wonderfully sated. This was definitely a feeling he could get used to. Optimus watched him, a smile creeping up behind his face mask. Starscream looked so wonderfully _relaxed_. Part of him almost _ached _to pull the Seeker up to his chassis and let him fall into recharge, curled up against him like a Sparkling. But, once again, it would be far too intimate so he kept his hands to himself. He simply sat and basked in the aftershocks of their interfacing.

"So… that was fun," Starscream murmured after a while. When Optimus turned to look at him, his lips were turned upward into a decidedly seductive smirk. A look that really shouldn't have warmed Optimus up as quickly as it did so soon after what they had just finished doing.

"I wouldn't have picked 'fun' to describe it, but, yes, it was enjoyable," Optimus agreed, trying to ignore the sudden humming of his cooling fans.

Starscream snickered at the sound. "Don't get too excited, Prime. I'm not up for another round." However, taking great pleasure in the effect he had on the Autobot leader, he stretched his body, hydraulics hissing as joints popped back into place, back struts arching slightly off the ground in an undeniably appealing way.

He grinned when he heard the tell-tale sounds of cooling fans speeding up. "You're making this too easy," he chortled.

Optimus felt his faceplates heat up slightly. Starscream was still looking at him, optics bright with amusement. He didn't seem to expect a response, however, and sat up, twisting his torso, moaning as a particularly nasty _crack _filled the air. There was a long pause before he spoke again. "It's getting kind of late," he stated, tone devoid of any of the laughter it had only a few nanokliks earlier. "I suppose I should head back… Primus knows what they've done to the place." His wings flicked in obvious disgust.

Optimus cocked his head. "What do you mean?"

Starscream snorted with apparent disapproval. "When I left, they were converting the cubes into high-grade. They're probably sprawled out all over the base, sharing the berth with mechs they _never _would if they were sober, and Primus knows _I'm _going to have to deal with their incessant pawing." He gave a revolted shudder at the thought.

Optimus felt a sudden, uncharacteristic flash of rage at the last part of that sentence.

Starscream didn't seem to notice. "Heh, so… if you _wanted _to attack the Nemesis, I _guarantee _no one will be there to stop you." He grinned slyly at Optimus before adding, "Well, except me, of course. And probably Megatron. That slagger _never _gets drunk. And Soundwave. But the rest of the Decepticons are most likely stumbling around the base, making obscene gestures and comments. Ugh, the _entire _Decepticon army… reduced to little more than a bunch of drunken idiots." He shook his head in disappointment.

Optimus narrowed his optics. "Why are you telling me this?"

Starscream looked up, a little surprised. "I… don't know…" He looked away, face pulled down into a slight pout as he tried to understand the reasoning behind what caused him to be so open with the Autobot leader. And Optimus couldn't _believe _how cute that expression was on Starscream's faceplates. He knew the Seeker was beautiful, and apparently, he could be downright sexy; however, Optimus _never_ would have guessed that the Decepticon second in command could be positively _adorable._

Then Starscream shrugged, the expression gone and replaced by indifference. "But, if you wanted to, the opportunity is there." He stood up, joints creaking in protest. Optimus stood as well. "I'm going to head back. So… same time, next month?" Again, there was that same pleading expression playing just below the shallow detachment.

Optimus nodded. "Of course."

The Seeker practically beamed with anticipation. However, it was subdued as soon as it surfaced and he only gave an impassive nod in response. With that, Starscream activated his thrusters, transforming before shooting into the star-laden sky. The indulgent somersaults were the only indication of just how exuberant he felt at Optimus' affirmation.

* * *

_Hope you liked this chapter. You've all been waiting so patiently for some yummy smutty goodness, I hope I didn't disappoint. I just finished Chapter 5 today, at 12:02 a.m. exactly. Despite all the resistance that it put up, I managed to hold it down long enough to get something halfway decent out of it._

_Now, off to chapter 6!! Awaaaayyy!!!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Oh boy, an early update! _

_Phew, this chapter was a killer. But at a certain point I fell into a rhythm and… this is what I came up with, for better or for worse. Enjoy!_

_Oh yeah, __**WARNINGS**_: _sticky sex ahead. Do I even need to put these warnings up anymore? I mean, if you're even reading this chapter, it seems safe to assume that you aren't terribly squeamish about giant fighting robots doing each other._

* * *

Starscream was at their meeting place, pacing back and forth nervously, hands clasped tightly just beneath his wing struts, Spark beating painfully against its chamber.

_He's not coming_, Starscream thought for what must have been the millionth time that klik. _He's not, I just _**know **_it. Or he's going to bring all of his Autobots with him and he's going to take me prisoner, and then Megatron is going to want to know what I was doing out here all by myself, expecting _**Optimus Prime**_, of all mechs, and then he's going to bail me out just so he can beat me into a pile of scrap and drag my punishment out for _**decacycles**_… _

He looked back at the horizon, pausing in his incessant pacing just long enough to see that he was, indeed, still alone.

_He's not coming. _He continued pacing.

He cycled dismally. He should have known that this would happen. He had been looking forward to this since their last meeting, only a month ago when they'd first made this arrangement. It was really the only thing that had been on his processor. Even Megatron's relentless stream of insults and belittlement had done little to faze him so caught up in thinking about this as he was. It would seem, though, that all of his waiting had not paid off. Granted, a month was hardly any time at all, in the grand scheme of things, but when you were anxiously looking forward to something, a month felt like an _eternity_.

Starscream felt an inexplicable wrench of pain in his Spark. Which was just silly. This was just about satisfying his newly discovered interface drive. Nothing more. It was only about the sex. He could get it from anywhere, if he wanted. It was just foolish for him to be so fixated on this particular mech.

But he couldn't deny that he really, _really_ liked the way that Optimus handled him.

And… it really shouldn't matter this much to him. He shouldn't feel so overwhelmingly disappointed that Optimus wasn't coming. He shouldn't feel a devastating emptiness in his Spark. He _shouldn't feel this way_!

But he did. And he couldn't help it.

He was used to disappointment. He was_ Starscream_, after all. Disappointment came to him almost as often as a reprimand from Megatron. Well, actually, the two seemed to coincide perfectly, but that was another matter entirely. But this wasn't just disappointment. This was… pain. This _hurt_. And… and…

_He's not coming_.

It was obvious what happened. Optimus clearly lost interest in him. He found some other mech that he preferred to shower with such delicious attentions. Starscream was just his little pleasure bot until he found what he was really looking for. Yes, exactly, that _must _be what happened.

It didn't matter. He would just go back to the Nemesis, back to the Decepticons… back to Megatron… and nothing would be any different. No, it didn't matter. He'd dealt with this for vorns, so he shouldn't be so affected by a few nights of pleasure. No, it didn't matter because Optimus wasn't…

What was that sound? Engines rumbling? _Familiar _engines?

_He came?_ Starscream thought incredulously, head snapping in the direction of the sound, seeing the blue and red form of the Autobot leader. _He actually _**came**_?_

His Spark flared wildly in its casing, heat scorching through his circuits, an enigmatic joy sweeping his processor. He stood rooted to the spot, rendered immobilized at the sight of his habitual lover streaking through the desert… to him.

Only a few kliks later, Optimus transformed only a few feet from Starscream. "I'm sorry I'm a little late. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were up to—"

He didn't get to finish his sentence as Starscream practically threw himself into his frame, nimble blue fingers touching any and every part of Prime's armor that they could reach. He buried his head in Optimus' neck, biting and sucking desperately at the various sensitive cables hidden there. His fingers slipped into the slates of his grill, probing deeply and enthusiastically. Optimus roared with pleasure, his excuse dying in his vocalizer as he crushed Starscream against him and ground frantically against his cockpit.

Starscream cried out, the sound muffled against Prime's neck cables, his fingers twitching uncontrollably inside his grill which sent delicious waves of ecstasy through Prime's body. One of Optimus' hands reached out to Starscream's wing, pinching the tip just as he had during their first experience. The result was an erotic cry against his throat. Starscream pressed himself closer to the Autobot leader, sending an electric current through his fingers and into his grill. Optimus groaned with blissful agony.

Already, heat was pouring out of their bodies from every available opening making the air around them shimmer like the asphalt of the highway during a heat wave. Little droplets of condensation appeared on their armor, a product of the heat from their bodies mixing with the cool desert air. Seeing the lithe, beautiful Air Commander covered in a thin sheen of moisture was too much for Optimus to bear. He was already fully charged from Starscream's unexpected, though pleasurable, assault and such stimulating imagery pushed him over the edge.

He grabbed Starscream by the shoulders and pinned him roughly against the cliff face. The Decepticon let out a startled squeal, then, seeing the lust in his lover's optics, quickly submitted to whatever Optimus planned to do to him. It didn't take long before both of their interface panels had been removed. Optimus latched onto Starscream's legs then wrapped them around his torso. Feeling his heated, dripping valve so close to his body charged Optimus even further. Without further ado, Optimus penetrated said valve harshly, earning a shriek of pleasure.

He thrust hard into Starscream, his back scraping roughly against the rock behind him, most likely leaving some pretty nasty scratches. But neither of them cared. The Seeker's head was thrown back, mouth agape as wordless cries of ecstasy floated past dark lips, optics completely off-lined, face twisted into pleasured anguish. His small cerulean hands clutched frenetically to broad red shoulders as Optimus pounded mercilessly into him. His pace was harsh and unforgiving. The inner walls of the Seeker's valve pulsed tightly around him, lubricant dripping down his armor and causing him to go faster. Naturally, neither of them lasted very long. Starscream overloaded first, screaming and thrashing wildly against the Autobot leader. Optimus overloaded only a nanoklik later as Starscream's frantic flailing forced him deeper inside.

When they had finished, they stayed as they were for a long time (well, it seemed like a long time, but it was really only a few kliks). Optimus held the Seeker up, pinned against the rock wall behind him, his legs keeping him anchored to the Matrix-bearer. Starscream was trembling from the sheer power of his overload, desperately fighting off involuntary stasis to reserve energy. As he slowly regained some presence of mind, he realized that he was actually _clinging _to Optimus. His arms were wrapped tightly around Prime's neck and his head was resting lightly against his shoulder. He squirmed a little, to let Prime know that he was more than a little uncomfortable with their current position—despite his processor's insistence that he really _wasn't _that uncomfortable—and Optimus let him down gently, slowly unsheathing himself. Starscream's legs buckled as his pedes met the ground, but Optimus caught him just before he could fall. Starscream tried to scowl, but it was mostly half-Sparked and he found himself unnervingly comforted by the gesture.

The Seeker slid down the cliff face and settled down on the ground. Optimus followed suit, sitting just beyond the stretch of his wing. They sat in silence for a while, both too exhausted to think of anything to say.

After nearly a breem of contented silence, Starscream muttered, "You were saying something about those damnable Lamborghini twins before I jumped you?"

Optimus looked at him for a nanoklik, then he began to laugh. His entire body was shaking with uncontrollable mirth and his laughter boomed throughout the canyon around them. Starscream tilted his head in confusion, feeling like he missed something, but he couldn't deny that it was outrageously entertaining to watch Optimus laugh like that. His guffawing quieted down into soft chuckles before he finally managed to answer. "Yes," he chortled, "they repainted the Dinobots with pink paint and glitter and I had to reprimand them for it."

Starscream's optics widened in shock. "Those… those Primus Damned Twins that are _always _the first mechs in battle, that ferociously attack me and my Seekers whenever they get the chance, that are constantly spitting out such obscene insults, that are stark raving _mad_… painted the Dinobots with pink paint and glitter?" he clarified incredulously.

"Oh yes, they're actually quite the pranksters."

"… 'Pranksters'?" he repeated, once again, incredulously.

Optimus nodded, chuckling at the astonishment written all over Starscream's faceplate. "Well, don't you think they'd be just as much of a pain in the aft _off _the battlefield as they are on it?"

The Seeker considered that for a nanoklik, then he snickered. "Are you even _allowed _to call your soldiers 'pain in the afts'?"

Optimus' optics flickered, reminiscent of a human blinking. "Well… um… I guess not to their faceplates." He shuffled.

"But you're allowed to say it to _me_?" He looked up, optics unexpectedly wide and bright with faux innocence.

Optimus jumped at the startlingly naïve expression plastered across Starscream's face. "Er… I suppose so. It's not like you're going to be spreading rumors around the Ark anytime soon."

Starscream laughed. "No, I guess not. It's just kind of… hard to believe that those horrible, slagging, vicious, Pit spawned _twins_ are… pranksters."

"I know what you mean. But their antics do get a little out of hand sometimes."

Intrigued, Starscream asked, "How so?"

"Well, they occasionally don't hold the highest regard for Autobot ideals."

The Seeker gestured for him to elaborate.

"As you pointed out, they can be a little… vicious, and their pranks sometimes have a tendency to reflect that. Just last week, they thought it would be funny to replace Cliffjumper's armor polish with acid because he made a rather crude remark about their paintjobs."

"_Acid_?" Starscream echoed, unable to decide if he should be disgusted or impressed. He settled on disgusted. "Primus, that's too far even for _me_." He thought for a nanoklik, reconsidering. "Well, I guess it really would depend on the mech and what they said or did to me, but still…"

Optimus shook his head with disappointment. "But they _are _good soldiers, even if their methods are… less than ideal."

"Heh, they sound more like Decepticons than misguided Autobots to me."

"Sometimes I wonder…" He cycled dismally. "I just don't know what to do with them sometimes."

"Prank them back," Starscream suggested.

Optimus looked at him, optic ridge quirked.

"If they knew someone was going to get them back, they'd probably be less inclined to keep being slag heads."

"That's just the thing: _no one _can out-prank the twins. They're just too good at it."

"_I've _got a few ideas."

He got an odd look in response. "I wouldn't think _you_ would want to take part in something as… _childish_ as pranking."

"Please. I've spent the past couple millennia with Skywarp, Rumble and Frenzy. You pick up a few things here and there, even if you _are _trying to avoid their irritating habits."

"What do you suggest?"

Starscream raised an optic ridge. "Why? Are _you _going to be the one to carry it out?" He snickered at the image of Optimus playing a prank on his subordinates.

"I could… _suggest _some of your ideas to a few choice soldiers."

Starscream cackled again, taking immense delight in the idea of a prank war ensuing at the Autobot base. "Okay, so which one is the dumber of the two?"

Optimus shuffled uncomfortably. "I don't like to think of _any _of my soldiers as being dumb…"

Starscream rolled his optics. "Fine, which one is the _least smart _of the two?"

"Sideswipe."

"Do you even want to think about it?"

Optimus didn't answer.

"For him, I would suggest that you cover his berth with a clear viscous substance so when he goes to recharge, he'll end up being glued to the berth. Primus damn Skywarp for that one," he added bitterly. "And the other one, the one who shot me down—"

"Sunstreaker," Optimus supplied.

"Yes, the insufferably vain one. Just a few well-placed motion detectors set around his quarters and, once triggered, they splatter paint all over him. Ha, that one was mine. Served Skywarp right."

Optimus laughed softly, reveling in the idea of seeing Sideswipe cemented to his berth and Sunstreaker covered in paint, no doubt complaining about what it's doing to his paintjob. "I'll certainly let you know how it turns out."

Starscream smiled up at him, pleased that he could aid in the suffering of those Primus Damned Twins. As he did so, he realized that around he never felt such… camaraderie around his peers. He dismissed these feelings, however, though for no real reason other than the discomfort it caused him. "Anyway, I guess I should be going."

Optimus nodded. "I suppose so."

They both stood and, before Starscream took off, he clarified, "Same time, next month?"

"Of course."

"…'Bye, Optimus."

"Good-bye, Starscream."

With a flash of a grin, the Seeker ignited his turbines and took off into the night.

* * *

Megatron watched from the monitors in his quarters with growing ire as his lieutenant stepped off the lift from the tower with an odd little grin on his face. In all their vorns of fighting, Megatron _knew_ he'd never seen that look before. And he didn't like it. Not one little bit.

Something had changed, and quite recently at that. Starscream was… different. It was nigh impossible to put a digit on it. There was a certain… lilt in his step that had not been there before. Even his insults held that same bizarre cadence. It wasn't that he didn't mean them because Megatron saw in those defiant ruby optics that he meant every word; however, they weren't spit out with the same vehemence as before. The Supreme Commander had also noticed a distinct lack of focus this past decacycle or so. Megatron knew every reaction that he could elicit from Starscream based on every tone of his voice and every slight to his character. However, his Second had not responded as he normally did. He was… distracted. He brushed every insult off as if it were not worthy of his time and then he would revert back into whatever little world he had suddenly erected for himself.

Megatron wasn't sure what that meant. But it was nothing good. This behavior had started quite recently and he intended to crush it before it got too out of hand. He called Soundwave to his office to discuss this latest development.

While he waited, he continued to reflect on his Air Commander's odd conduct. As hard as he tried to recall, he couldn't pinpoint the exact start of this ruse. And that's exactly what this must be: a ruse. A performance his Second was putting on so that he could once again attempt to overthrow his leader. Well, it wasn't going to work this time. Megatron had grown wise to him early in his game and now he planned to bring him back down into submission. Not that Starscream had _ever _been submissive. And, by Primus, Megatron was sure he'd tried _everything_! Of course, depending on the severity of the punishment, Starscream did have a tendency to sulk for a few orns and lay low until he regained enough self-confidence to continue strumming every one of Megatron's nerve sensors. But once those blissful few orns ended, that slagging little glitch would just bounce back and become, if possible, even _more _unruly than before. To a point, it was admirable that Starscream could take so much punishment without being permanently deactivated. However, that point became moot after the thirtieth attempted coup.

Before Megatron could work himself into even more of a Rage, the door buzzed, signaling that his Communications Officer was just outside. He double-checked the security cameras just to be sure (one could never be too careful with Starscream roaming about the base) and confirmed that it was his third in command, opening the door from his desk. The Supreme Commander stood as Soundwave entered, silently as always. This wasn't so much a sign of respect—though if he were to respect any of his soldiers, it would be Soundwave—so much as he didn't want for any of his troops to be able to look down at him for even a nanoklik.

Soundwave crossed the room to stand just before his leader's desk. The silver mech made the instruction to sit and, once the telepath had settled himself into one of the chairs across from Megatron, the tyrant sat down as well.

"Have you been sensing anything particularly… _off _about Starscream as of late?" Megatron asked, getting right to the point. He had no time for social niceties such as a proper greeting.

"Observation: Starscream has not reacted to Lord Megatron as appropriate for his norm," Soundwave stated, his monotone expressing no emotions, as usual. "Response: Starscream has been unfocused for the past Earth month."

"Yes, I agree. But the question is _why_? Have you picked up any stray thoughts?"

"Response: Starscream has erected all mental barriers."

"Hmm…" Megatron tapped his lip thoughtfully. "Is that normal? Does he usually have his mental barriers up at all times?"

"Negative."

"So then the glitch is hiding something!" Megatron declared furiously, slamming his fist down on his desk with enough force to make the floor shake. "Soundwave!" he barked unnecessarily. "I have a mission for you. You are to find out _exactly_ what it is that Starscream finds so imperative to keep secret. I want you to report back to me in half a decacycle unless you have otherwise found proof that he's up to something. We're going to crush whatever treacherous scheme he's cooked up before he can even _begin_! Is that understood?"

"Affirmative, Lord Megatron."

"Good." Without a word, Megatron dismissed Soundwave.

When he was alone again, Megatron folded his hands on his desk, quite pleased with himself. He knew that Soundwave would not fail him. Soundwave was the dependable one of his lieutenants. Plus, Starscream was a Seeker—which tended to be remarkably undisciplined in their mental processes—and there was no way that he would be able to keep his barriers up constantly. And once his defenses slipped, Soundwave would swoop in and retrieve the necessary information. Perhaps, if the information was destructive enough, it would give Megatron the reason he needed to rid himself of his treacherous second in command once and for all!

* * *

_Oh no! What's gonna happen next?! Haha, that's for _**me **_to know and you to find out. ^_^_


	6. Chapter 6

_So I couldn't help noticing that my chapters have been getting progressively shorter. At first, I felt a little guilty about it, but then I was like, "Hey, it's my story and I can make the chapters however long I want to." And then I wrote this one and everything was okay._

* * *

Soundwave had followed Megatron's orders with all the loyalty in his Spark for nearly the past four Earth months. He had dutifully trailed the Seeker as inconspicuously as possible, waiting for the moment when Starscream's defenses would slip and he could finally uncover the information he had kept so heavily guarded. However, his mental barriers had yet to be lowered, even for an astrosecond. It was admirable that the Seeker could be so unrelenting with his mental disciplines, but it was also rather infuriating because Megatron expected results, which he was just not getting.

Soundwave was not used to disappointing his master. That tended to fall upon his recently appointed charge. And he decided very quickly that he did not like being on this end of his leader's patience. Megatron had yet to physically punish him for his consistent failures, but Soundwave could detect that that particular threat was looming ever closer.

He had sent Ravage to follow Starscream when he could not and the robotic panther had reported nothing out of the ordinary. Starscream was still going about his duties with all the loyalty in _his _Spark—which, needless to say, was not much—but it was to be expected and so it would appear that he actually was doing nothing wrong.

But he was still acting noticeably peculiarly. It was subtle so most of the other Decepticons had not noticed the change yet, but to Megatron and Soundwave, he was practically a different mech altogether. He wasn't as distracted as he had been only four months before, that much was for sure. However, he was… more relaxed? He certainly wasn't as high-strung as he usually was. And yet, he wasn't careless. On the battlefield, he was, if anything, _more _focused and effective. The Decepticons had been doing remarkably well these past few decacycles, mostly due to Starscream's new behavior and incredible competence. Naturally, Megatron would not acknowledge Starscream's sudden aptitude, but it did mean that he was not justified in venting his frustrations on his subordinate as often.

As much as he truly and deeply wanted to slag his lieutenant for his abrupt change in perspective—because, really, who the Pits did Starscream think he was to suddenly change everything?—he knew that the other Decepticons were, on some level, aware of their Second's newly discovered worth. Megatron could be unfair when it came to dealing with his subordinates—namely Starscream—even Soundwave could admit as much, but to punish the Seeker for a _successful _mission would only serve to diminish the already low morale.

However, just because Megatron could no longer punish his lieutenant for a rarely failed mission did not mean that he could not bring him down a few notches when it seemed appropriate. Or whenever Megatron wanted, which was more likely. The result was significantly fewer trips to the medbay, but even harsher and more scathing insults.

And none of it even seemed to _faze _him! He would only nod and answer, "Of course, leader" or "Whatever you say, _mighty_ Megatron" with that same defiant glint in his optics. Not only that, but he was almost _compliant _when Megatron ordered him to do something. However, lurking just beneath the surface was that ever-present insolent smirk, taunting his leader with knowledge that he possessed and would not yield to him. Somehow, despite his effectiveness in battle, uncharacteristic obedience and calmer demeanor, he had become even _more _rebellious. The unfortunate thing was that it, too, was almost too subtle for most 'Cons to notice. Therefore, when Megatron "rebuked" Starscream for his "behavior", it left most 'Cons in a stupor of confusion.

It wasn't that they sympathized with the Seeker because they shared the same sentiments as their leader that he was a necessary irritant. Despite what they all liked to believe, they knew that Starscream was a vital component of the Decepticons and, grudgingly, could admit that he was the best flyer any of them had ever seen. Better to have him on their side than on the Autobots', at any rate.

And Starscream knew that. He knew that he was needed and he flaunted it. While any other mech would have been permanently deactivated for doing even _half _of the things the Seeker had done, he was far too valuable an asset to terminate. But sometimes Soundwave would catch a glimpse of Megatron wondering if he was really worth all the trouble. It was usually then that Starscream, too, would sense his leader's growing ire with him and he would back off slightly until the danger had passed.

That was another thing that had changed. Starscream obviously sensed Megatron's looming frustration with him and yet he continued to "toe the line" of the warlord's patience. He was more confident than he used to be. Soundwave knew that he put up a bravado when his leader confronted him, but there was always that fear lurking just in the back of his processor: fear of the pain, fear of the rejection, fear of the fact that maybe Megatron was _right _and he really _was_ more trouble than he was worth. Soundwave had only captured brief glimpses of these feelings. Starscream always lost control of himself when confronted by Megatron.

Until now, anyway.

His barriers remained as strong as ever when Megatron challenged him about some minor problem or error, even with the ever-present threat of physical punishment. It was… unnerving. Starscream was _never _this confident, least of all when he was planning something. While the Seeker was concocting some scheme to overthrow their leader, he normally became almost embarrassingly defensive, making it painfully obvious that he was doing something he shouldn't be. Which led Soundwave to believe that, maybe, Starscream _wasn't _planning anything. Not to say that something hadn't changed, because it most certainly _had_, only to say that maybe it wasn't some half-cocked plot to take over the Decepticons.

Whatever it was, it made Soundwave's processor ache and he just really wished that things could go back to normal: Starscream would screw up, Megatron would beat him for his incompetence, and Soundwave would be the ever-loyal lieutenant at his leader's side, always the first mech that Megatron turned to in times of crisis.

The "same old song and dance", as Rumble said.

* * *

"Say, have you noticed anything weird about Screamer?"

Thundercracker turned to his wingmate, optic ridge quirked. "I didn't think _you _noticed anything."

"Why would you say that?" Skywarp asked piteously.

"Because normally your head is stuck so far up your aft that you don't notice _anything _that doesn't have a bright neon sign hanging over it saying, 'Look at me! Look at me!'"

Skywarp sulked sulkily. He turned away from the blue Seeker to grump at the monitors in front of him. Currently, they were on tower/monitor duty and the only way to keep themselves entertained was to talk to each other. Which prompted the purple Seeker to say, still rather sulkily, "Well, if _you _noticed anything, how come you didn't say something?"

Thundercracker shrugged. "I just wanted to see how long it would take for you to figure it out."

"Whatever. How long has he been… like this?"

"Out of curiosity, what do you mean by 'like this'?"

"Just, I don't know, he's… calmer or something. Like, he's not as much of a pain in the aft. He's still a pain in the aft, just not as much of one. You know?"

"Believe it or not, I think I do. Just the last orn, Megatron was drilling him about one of Frenzy's screw-ups, and he just took it. It was kind of bizarre. He didn't throw back any insults or threats, he just… took it, then walked away."

Skywarp nodded enthusiastically. "I know, I know! _Exactly_! That sort of thing has been going on for the past I don't even _know _how many decacycles! When we were practicing aerial maneuvers, remember?" Thundercracker nodded. "And I totally messed up and almost crashed into the ocean and he only yelled at me for like five kliks instead of a breem! How weird is that?"

"It's kind of creeping me out. I'm not used to Starscream being halfway approachable."

"Yeah, I know." They sat in silence for a little while, mulling over their trine leader's odd behavior. "When did you notice it?"

"About two months ago. I'm not really even sure _how _I noticed it. I think it was when I caught him smiling when he thought I wasn't looking and I didn't know why. That's when I got _really_ creeped out."

"Smiling?" Skywarp repeated incredulously. "Screamer? _Smiling_?"

"Yeah," Thundercracker agreed.

"Was a Sparkling being tortured? What the slag makes the Screamer _smile_?" He said the word with a shudder.

"I don't know and I'm sure I don't want to. He looked _way _too happy than what's normal."

"Primus, I just thought he was acting loopy when he didn't yell at me for that long, but if you caught him… _smiling_… Primus, TC, I'm so sorry, it must have been horrible."

Thundercracker didn't answer and there was something about the way his faceplates were arranged that made Skywarp ask, "What?"

He hesitated. "It… _wasn't _horrible…" His voice dropped to a barely audible murmur, as if he were confiding some terrible secret in his wingmate. "He actually looked… _happy_."

Skywarp's optics couldn't have gotten any bigger unless you surgically implanted larger optics. "_Happy_?! Like, the kind of happy he gets when he's shooting Autobots or the kind of happy he gets when Megatron doesn't kill him?"

"You know how happy he is after he finishes some scientific experiment?"

"Yeah."

"A hundred times that."

"Whoa."

"Yeah."

"Wonder if he's got a virus."

"I don't know. But I _do _know that Megatron hasn't been all that happy with how Starscream's been acting."

"What do you mean?"

"Hello, 'Warp!" Thundercracker rapped his knuckles against the purple jet's helm. "Have you even _been _in the base for the past couple decacycles?"

"You were the one who said my aft was so far up my head that—"

"You got it backwards, genius. Anyway, you can't tell me you haven't noticed how _foul _Megatron's mood has been since this thing started!"

"I thought he was always like that…"

Thundercracker cycled at his trinemate's ignorance. "No, 'Warp, not when we've been doing so well with getting Energon."

"That's another thing! Starscream has been, like, a real Air Commander recently!"

"So then why is Megatron so grumpy?"

Skywarp shrugged. "Slag me if I know."

"You're lucky about that."

"About what?"

"If you keep saying that, you can guarantee no one's going to slag you because Primus knows you don't know anything."

Skywarp sulked again, sticking his lower lip component out petulantly. "Why are you so mean to me, TC?" he pouted.

"Because you make it so easy," he returned affectionately.

The pout morphed into a crooked grin and Skywarp's wings flicked up in delight. However before he could respond, there was a beep from the console in front of them.

"What the—?" Thundercracker muttered as the computer signaled an incoming vehicle. "Who's even out at this time?" He opened a comm. link and proceeded with protocol. "Unidentified approaching aircraft, state your business and—"

"_It's me_," a familiar high screechy voice cut off.

"Starscream?" Thundercracker asked, surprised.

"_No, it's your _**other**_ Air Commander_," he replied sarcastically and they could practically hear him roll his optics. "_Now raise the tower. I don't have all night._"

"What's the magic word?" Skywarp teased.

"_Now_!" Abruptly the line was cut and Thundercracker complied with the command.

"Sheesh, all he had to do was say 'please'," Skywarp muttered.

Thundercracker, however, didn't hear him. "Did you think he sounded… different?"

His wingmate looked at him oddly. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, like he wasn't being an aft-head, but like… he was sort of teasing us? In a good way?"

Skywarp huffed at him. "Pshaw, yeah right. He may be acting funny, but not enough to act _that _funny."

"I guess you're right…" Thundercracker wasn't so sure.

They heard the lift coming down from the tower and turned to watch as their trineleader stepped out. And Skywarp almost squealed in terror. By Primus, the Screamer _was _smiling!!

Then, to make things even weirder, he actually turned to _look_ at them and _nodded_, and _then _he said, "Thundercracker, Skywarp," before exiting.

They sat in dazed silence for nearly a breem before either could get over the utter _shock _of seeing their Air Commander like that. Thundercracker recovered first, but his CPU was still sufficiently blown. "Did he just… _acknowledge _us?"

"I'm scared, TC," Skywarp whispered, optics wide and locked on the door that Starscream had just exited.

"Me too, 'Warp. Me too."

* * *

Prowl knew something was wrong. He'd known from the beginning. Ever since Optimus came back after having fixed Starscream, something had been different. It had started out small, almost too miniscule to even really be considered. At the time, he couldn't really even be sure there _was _anything wrong. However, a short while later, he had been uncharacteristically harsh when reprimanding Sunstreaker while he boasted about defeating Starscream. It seemed to Prowl that Optimus was not preaching Autobot morals, but that he was actually _defending _Starscream.

In hindsight, Prowl really should have questioned Prime more about his encounter with the Air Commander. After all, Starscream had probably been conscious while Prime was fixing him and it wasn't like the Seeker to just remain completely silent during the process, even if the only mech he had to talk to was Optimus Prime. Therefore, they _had _to have talked about _something_. And if they weren't trading information, what _were _they trading? Prowl was hard-pressed to think that maybe they were sharing old war stories.

Or maybe Prowl was just underestimating Starscream's ability to keep his mouth shut.

Yeah, and maybe Sunstreaker was going to repaint himself gray and call himself a worker drone.

So what the Pits could Starscream have said to permit Prime just letting him go _and _for Prime to not take the information he'd offered?

Primus, what was happening to his leader?

After his unnaturally callous admonishment of the Lamborghini, Prowl began to notice the subtle changes in his leader. At first, it was hard for even Prowl to see. It was just little things, like Optimus becoming a bit more impatient with "Screamer-Slamming", as the Twins called it. And even then, it was little more than a sharper inflection in his voice. It would appear that after his lecture to Sunstreaker, he became a bit more restrained in regards to his intolerance of poking fun at the infamous Decepticon second in command.

However, over the past few months since the incident with Starscream, Prime was becoming even _more _irritable. It wasn't just stemming from insulting the Seeker, but just everyday instances. Optimus Prime was renown throughout the universe for his infinite patience, and yet, it seemed to be more restricted than originally anticipated. Recently, there was a small disagreement between Huffer and Trailbreaker, about Primus even _knows _what, and Optimus put them both on the night shift for the next decacycle.

At this point, most of the Autobots had noticed how high-strung their leader had suddenly become, but most attributed it to the fact that the Decepticons were gaining the upper-hand in recent months. In fact, their continuous string of losses had really lowered troop morale. And Optimus' new attitude was most certainly not helping the situation. In past experiences, when the Decepticons had hit their stride and gained an advantage over the Autobots, Prime was usually the _first _one to assert that they would get through this and that everything would turn out okay as long as everyone did their best not to dwell on the negatives.

It was hard not to do that when their leader was the cause of the negative emotions suffocating the Ark.

It was not difficult to see that the Decepticons were significantly more focused than they had been in the past. The only question was: what caused this new shift in attitude? Perhaps something was happening down in the Nemesis to raise moral? Or they had received reinforcements that had yet to be noticed by the Autobots?

Or perhaps it was the sudden efficiency of their aerial forces?

But what did it _mean_? These things _had _to be connected someway or another. Starscream was unexpectedly competent in leading his Seekers while at _exactly _the same time, Optimus was_ losing _focus and failing to lead his troops as proficiently as he had before his experience with Starscream. What did it all _mean_? There was no way those things could be coincidence.

_Something _was going on and Prowl intended to find out what.

* * *

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe watched in shocked silence as their leader turned abruptly on his heel and stormed out of the room. They had just been lounging in the rec room, complaining about Starscream and his Primus Damned Seekers, when, out of _nowhere_, Optimus comes into the room and orders them on guard duty for the next _month_! He didn't say anything else, just that, and then he just _left._

"Something's wrong," Sunstreaker muttered after the dull thud of their leader's footsteps faded completely.

"Gee, ya _think_?" Sideswipe replied wearily. _Another month of wandering around the base at night, alone, and listening to Sunny complain about it the whole time. Joy_, he grumbled inwardly, making sure to keep it hidden through their bond.

"No, I mean, something is really _wrong_. And it has been for a while now."

"Yeah, I know. But I guess we can't really blame him. I mean, he _must _be under a lot of stress with the Decepticons suddenly learning how to fight and all."

"I'm not so sure it's just that."

Sideswipe's head tilted in confusion. "What else could it be?"

"I'm sure _I _don't know," Sunstreaker growled irritably. "It's not like Prime confides all his secrets in _me_. How the Pits am _I _supposed to know what's causing him to be such an aft?"

"Whoa, cool it, Sunny. I didn't mean anything by it," his brother soothed, putting his hands up in surrender. "I'm just as thrilled with his new 'tude as you are, but, you know, there's really not much we can do about it."

Sunstreaker cycled tetchily. "I know that." He thought for a klik. "Haven't you noticed how he gets so aggravated when we start Screamer-Slamming?"

Sideswipe thought about it for a few nanokliks before nodding in agreement. "Yeah, I guess he has."

"Wonder why…"

"I don't know. I just wish he wouldn't walk in on us right when we start Screamer-Slamming. I mean, how the Pits does he do that?"

"He's just like that: always in the right place at the wrong time."

"You know," Sideswipe said abruptly, a thought coming to him, "he's been really distracted too." When Sunstreaker just looked at him, he continued, "I went to his office to try and get out of our last punishment and—"

"You went without me?" Sunstreaker interjected, outraged. "You were going to leave me to clean all the waste facilities _by myself_?"

"No, no, I was gonna ask for you, too, but, you know, with your temper, I thought it might be good to, you know, go alone…" He looked guiltily up at his brother who felt the apology through their connection. "Anyway, when I went in, he didn't even _notice _me for a few kliks. He was just sitting at his desk, staring off into space. It wasn't until I had to say something that he finally looked up, but even then, he still looked really distracted."

"Well, he wasn't distracted enough for him to get us out of our punishment," grumbled the yellow Lamborghini.

"Yeah, I know," agreed Sideswipe. "When I asked him if we could _not _do it, he snapped out of whatever weird trance he was in and said we earned it fair and square. I didn't really think too much about it at the time. I thought I might have interrupted him while he was thinking about defeating the 'Cons, but now I don't even _know _what he might have been thinking about."

"This is really weird, Sides."

"If _that _isn't the understatement of the millennia…" Sideswipe grinned crookedly at his brother. "Look, whatever this is, it's gonna work it's way out one way or another, so there's no real point in worrying about it. We'll retake our advantage over the 'Cons and whatever crisis Optimus is having is gonna resolve itself and everything will go back to normal."

Sunstreaker felt his brother's determination at his own words and felt himself relax a little at them. "I guess you're right."

"Now come on; we're gonna be on guard duty for an entire month so we might as well make the best of it. So I was thinking that first, we could tell Bumblebee a bunch of human ghost stories before he goes to recharge and then, when he's fast asleep, we make a ton of loud, creepy noises right outside his door."

Sunstreaker grinned at the idea. His brother continued to list off other mischief that they could perform on their fellow Autobots and Sunstreaker felt his doubts ease away. Though still, in the back of his processor, there was just enough uncertainty to keep him from fully focusing on his brother.

* * *

_You know, I really liked writing this chapter. I'm not even 100% sure why; it was just a really easy chapter to write. Especially the part with 'Warp and TC because it totally reminded me of how my sister and I "conversate." I'm 'Warp, of course. _^^ _She wasn't too thrilled about being TC, though… :(_


	7. Chapter 7

_So… I don't actually even know where this chapter came from. I totally never included it in my storyboard, and it kinda came out of nowhere so I just ran with it. Hope it wasn't a totally retarded thing to do. _.

_Warnings: Um… but for language, this time. It's kinda brief and I don't really even think it requires a warning, but there it is. _

* * *

Starscream was happy. He could admit as much to himself. For once in his life, he was well and truly happy. It was a combination the afterglow of their most recent encounter and the fact that Megatron hadn't had any good reason to punish him and his health had been remarkably good in recent months.

Optimus was sitting right where he always did after these meetings, just at the end of his wingspan, and he too was basking in the aftershocks of their interfacing. Starscream watched him in contented silence until blue optics slid over and met his. He looked away, unable to fully stifle the smile trying to work its way onto his face. He felt azure optics watching him curiously and his Spark glowed in response. At this point, he didn't even try to stop it. At first, he'd tried time and again to convince himself that this was just about the interfacing and he was just being silly for thinking otherwise, but by now he realized that that wasn't what compelled him to play these little games or to stay behind and allow himself to open up just a little more to the Autobot leader.

That didn't mean he had to acknowledge it, though.

Starscream allowed the feelings to exist, whatever they were, but he'd be damned if he was going to put a name to them. He knew he was being stubborn, that these emotions were more than physical, that Optimus made him happier than he'd ever felt in his life and to not admit it meant that he was practically lying to himself, but he was also terrified that if he _did _put a name to these feelings, it would lead him down a road that ended with Megatron's fusion cannon. If he didn't allow himself to think of what he _really _felt for the Autobot leader, if he didn't admit to what his Spark was _screaming_ at him, it allowed him just enough distance to keep his focus and his mental blocks strong. He couldn't afford any distractions and if he just continued to convince himself that this was just about the pleasure, even though he knew at this point that it wasn't, he had just enough leverage to keep his barriers firmly in place.

Besides, there was no way that Optimus could feel the same way that he did. Just because he also enjoyed what they shared on a monthly basis did not mean that he actually _felt _anything for the Seeker. More than likely, he figured that Starscream could be his regular interface partner far more easily than any of his other soldiers. Again, Starscream had a difficult time trying to imagine Prime seducing one of his men into his berth without having any sort of relationship with them.

Starscream knew that he should be outraged that he was little more than Prime's pleasure bot, but… at least while they were together, Prime actually pretended to care about him. Most others wouldn't bother to make the effort and would leave once they'd gotten what they came for, but Optimus always stayed behind, humoring him with their meaningless conversations, acting as if he actually _enjoyed _the Seeker's company, which, of course, was just _impossible _because every other mech he was forced to deal with couldn't bear his presence any longer than was entirely necessary, and even then…

But, during these moments, Starscream could pretend that Optimus cared, that _someone _cared about whether he lived or died, even if it was just for the inconvenience of having to find another interface partner. But he didn't mind. His delusion made him happy, so he would continue to imagine phantom emotions coming from the Autobot leader.

However, despite Starscream's insistence that these feelings were his alone, he was actually remarkably far off. Optimus felt exactly the same way about the Seeker, but he was more than willing to admit it to himself. He wouldn't call it what it was for the same reasons as Starscream. He knew that if he admitted he was in lo… held affections for the Seeker to himself, he would _definitely _not be able to keep it from his men. He was having a hard enough time trying to keep these meetings secret and subdue the overwhelming need to protect his lover from verbal abuse _without_ telling himself that he was in lo… _held affections_ for him.

And it was precisely because of this that Optimus' mood had taken a downward spiral since this began. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy their trysts, because he really did, more than he ever could have imagined; it was just the feelings he had before and after them that left him in a bit of a temper. He hated having to watch the Seeker fly off back to his own faction knowing that even a brief slip-up and Megatron could kill him in a Sparkpulse. He hated that the only way he could keep consistent tabs on the Seeker's health, besides these meetings, was from the other end of the battlefield. He hated having to wait until then to even be sure that he was still alive. But most of all, he hated that there wasn't anything that he could _do_.

Optimus didn't even know how Starscream's presence was even going unnoticed. Surely Megatron would notice him slipping out of the base every month at the same time and returning at roughly the same time. How was he doing it? He had tried to avoid bringing his concerns up to the Seeker, but it was beginning to wear him down. Generally, their conversations consisted of meaningless musings about their comrades and they both made a point to avoid talking about their beliefs as they knew the other was too set in his ways. But Optimus didn't think he could keep these things to himself any longer lest he run the risk of physically attacking one of his own men from the stress.

"Starscream?" Optimus said, curiosity getting the best of him. The Seeker looked up at him expectantly. "How have you not drawn attention to yourself when you leave?"

"Why? Are you actually _concerned_ about me?" he sneered, half-serious.

_More than you know, _he thought, but didn't dare say. "Just curious."

To Optimus' surprise, he smirked a very self-satisfied sort of smirk. "As much as I hate to admit it, Megatron's not stupid… not _that _stupid," he amended. "And I figured if I kept leaving the Nemesis at the same time every month, he was bound to notice. I mean, I leave the base all the time anyway, so it's not like it's unusual for me to go out on a midnight flight… Of course, with how much Megatron trusts me, I'm really surprised he lets me do that." He shrugged dismissively and continued, "But anyway, he keeps track of when I leave the base and I'm sure he would have noticed a pattern. So I just made sure to make my leaves a bit more… erratic."

"Erratic?" Optimus repeated uncomprehendingly.

"Well, there's a sort of routine to it so when he goes back to check, he doesn't notice that, despite me leaving the base at seemingly random intervals, there's always that one day that I consistently leave. So what I do is, a couple times a month, roughly around the same times but not enough for him to get suspicious, I go out for a flight with varying times and it throws him off my trail. Haven't you ever wondered how long I've been sitting here waiting for you?" he added with false exasperation.

Optimus shook his head. In truth, he never really gave it a second thought. All he knew was that every time he arrived, Starscream was already here, sitting on the same boulder, waiting for him with the same fervent indifference that he always had. It never occurred to him that Starscream had actually been waiting for some time.

"It ranges anywhere from a few cycles to a few breems," he shrugged. "Today it was about three cycles."

"Wouldn't Megatron care if you're gone for such an extended period of time?"

The Air Commander scoffed. "He has a comm. link; if he has a problem, the slagger can call me." He looked back at Optimus, ready to change the subject, when he noticed that blank look he was getting from Optimus. "It's not _that_ complicated," he asserted, amused that the Autobot leader didn't entirely follow his plan behind avoiding detection. "But as long as _I _know what I'm doing then that's really all that matters."

He studied Optimus' optics and saw that he wasn't entirely satisfied. _Wait, he really _**is **_concerned? _He brushed it off. In a gentler voice, he said, "It's okay, Optimus, really. You and I both know that Megatron is about as subtle as a kick to the fuel tanks. If he knew something, he wouldn't waste time just sitting around and watching me go."

"Does anyone know?" Optimus asked abruptly, unable to keep himself in check any longer.

"No," he answered immediately.

However, as Optimus studied his face, he adjusted his question. "Does anyone suspect?"

Starscream looked away, biting his lower lip component. "Megatron… always suspects me of something."

"Starscream…" Optimus murmured, his worry becoming more pronounced.

"Well, I mean, it's nothing I can't handle," Starscream assured him. "He doesn't know any specifics and he doesn't know that when I leave the base, I actually _go _somewhere. He just has his little pet watching me, that's all."

"His… pet?"

"Soundwave," the Seeker clarified. "And as long as I keep him blocked out, there's no way he can know anything is going on."

"Can you keep him blocked out all the time?"

"I… It gets a little tiring sometimes," Starscream admitted. Upon seeing anxious optics from his partner, Starscream continued quickly, "But, like I said, it's nothing I can't handle. I just have to be a little more careful with keeping my emotions in check so I don't accidentally slip up."

"Starscream, something is bound to happen. You and I both know it. If Megatron already suspects something, it's only a matter of time before he finds out. You can't keep him blocked out forever."

"Yes I can!" Starscream snapped, suddenly very defensive. "Despite what you may think, I have stronger mental capacities than probably your entire army put together! Don't you insinuate that I'm some weak-minded little—"

"I wasn't insinuating anything, Starscream," Optimus interrupted him gently. "I don't doubt your mental capacities. However, something may happen that's out of your control and you may be forced to lower you mental defenses. Not because you're weak, but out of reflex."

"Oh…" Starscream felt his anger diffuse immediately only to be replaced with something that felt disturbingly like guilt.

"Starscream, if Megatron gets even a hint of what we're doing… he's… he's probably going to kill you."

The Seeker's head shot up, optics wide in alarm. Optimus wasn't… he _couldn't _mean…

"Well, what do you suggest?" Starscream murmured, trying to keep his panic in check.

Optimus cycled deeply. "I don't know. There must be something."

They both knew what they obvious answer was: stop meeting each other. That way, there would be no more fear, no more doubt, no more needing to look over one's shoulder to see if anyone had followed them.

But neither would say it. Neither _could _say it. These meetings had become a part of them. To put a stop to them was almost self-mutilation. Which prompted Optimus to say this:

"Maybe… you could leave the Decepticons… and come join the Autobots." It had been a fantasy of his for some time that Starscream would suddenly defect from his faction and join Optimus and they could live together, like those human fairy tales.

However the result was… less than enthusiastic. Ruby optics flared almost orange with fury, wings hiked high up on their owner's back, blue hands clenched into tight fists and Starscream's voice dripped with barely-contained rage. "How _dare _you?" he hissed in apocalyptic tones.

Optimus jumped at the venom in the Seeker's voice. "What—?"

"You think I would leave the Decepticons—whom, may I point out, I have dedicated the majority of my _life_ to—and join you and your band of disgustingly pathetic soldiers just so that I can sit around at your every beck-and-call, waiting to pleasure you on your every _whim_!"

To say that Optimus was shocked was an understatement. "Starscream, I… no, that's not what I meant!"

"Forget it, Prime. I would _never _join you. Just because we have this does not mean I'm any less loyal to my faction and don't you _ever _think otherwise. I'm not your little fuck-bot. I'm not here to cater to your every need. I'm here because I _want _to be here and Primus knows I don't have to be."

Optimus tried again. "Starscream, please, I—"

"And would you just cut the act?" Starscream demanded. "I'm sick to death of you pretending to be so polite and ever the gentle-mech when we both know you only want one thing from me."

… So that was it? Starscream didn't believe that _maybe _Optimus actually _enjoyed _being around him? After everything that they shared, Starscream _still _only thought this was just about the interfacing? How could he delude himself so completely as to overlook every moment they spent _not _participating in carnal activities? What could _possibly _possess him to simply disregard all of the light, easy conversations that they shared long after they'd both received their pleasure? How could he not believe that the feelings Optimus had for him ran deeper than simply his metal derma-plating?

Feeling a strange mixture of irritation, offense and exhaustion, Optimus rose to his pedes and looked down at the Seeker, his optics showing mostly his irritation. "If that's what you truly think, then perhaps it is time for me to go. I suppose I'll see you next month. As you said, you do not have to be here and whether or not you choose to come is completely up to you." Without waiting for a response, he turned away and, after walking several yards from the still-sitting Seeker, transformed and drove off.

As Starscream watched him go, he felt his anger slowly ebb away into something else, something… painful. He'd just completely chewed Optimus out and… he'd just walked away. He just left. And… he seemed… _offended_ by what Starscream had said. But… why would he be offended? Starscream had told him the truth: Optimus only wanted him for his body… right? Perhaps he'd been a little less than gracious about it, but it was still the truth…

Unless Optimus… _liked _being around Starscream…

But… Starscream was so sure… For _him_, it wasn't just the interfacing; he'd only ever _dreamed _that it was the same for Optimus. What if… he'd been wrong? And if he was _wrong_, then it meant he'd chased off the only mech who could stand his presence longer than was entirely necessary. The only mech whose company he looked _forward _to, who made him feel so happy, whose unwavering presence helped soothe the aches and pains he received back at the Nemesis.

He looked up in the direction that Optimus had just left and there was no hint of the Autobot leader. Part of him ached to fly after him, knowing he could easily catch him, and apologize for what he'd said and hope that all would be forgiven, but the other part couldn't find it in its Spark to haul him off the ground and make the effort.

He pulled his knees up to his cockpit, suddenly feeling very cold and alone.

* * *

_So, the beginning of this chapter was actually inspired by the song "Crush" by David Archuleta… 'cause every time I hear that song, I can't help thinking about these two. ^^ I hope this chapter made sense. Like I said, it kinda came out of nowhere so I didn't really plan it out all that thoroughly. I can't help thinking that it totally didn't make any sense and you guys would have no idea what was going on_. .

_Also, the next few chapters are probably going to be really long... _**really **_long… so I suggest you go to my profile every now and then because I tend to update my progress on the latest chapter and it may take a while before I can get them finished._


	8. Chapter 8

_Holy Primus, you guys! I have over 60 reviews!! _^^ _Thank you all so much! Again, let me say, holy fragging Primus!!!!! _

_Also, for this chapter, I tried to go for less musing and more action. Let me know if I succeeded!_

* * *

He was wrong. He figured it out way too late, but there it was. He was wrong. And now he had to pay the consequences for his brash words.

He didn't think he'd ever felt so incredibly empty before. His Spark ached in a way that he had never known. His processor felt oddly slow and fuzzy. When his comrades spoke to him, it felt like their voices simply floated through one audio and out the other. It was taking all of his willpower to simply not give up and cave in on himself in the middle of the Command Center. He knew that his mental barriers weakened slightly and he knew that Soundwave was well aware of that fact, if the sudden incessant—and _highly _uncomfortable—probing was anything to go by. However, Starscream had no higher motivation than self-preservation so he forced himself to focus on keeping them up, despite his encompassing depression. Megatron had apparently been alerted to his waning resistance against Soundwave's relentless prying and was doing everything that he could to lower them further.

Needless to say, the past decacycle had been a far cry from the last couple months. But Starscream couldn't entirely bring himself to care about Megatron's constant abuse, verbal and physical. He had the odd feeling that it was his penance for being so harsh toward his lover.

Even in the heat of battle Starscream still found his thoughts wandering back to the Autobot leader. Once again, it was an all-out brawl of Autobots and Decepticons trading punches, threats and insults while the latter faction attempted to, _once again_, pinch a puny human's weapon of mass destruction.

A group of human scientists had invented a prototype for a weapon that harnesses the power of quantum chromodynamics. By colliding lead and gold nuclei at nearly the speed of light, the resulting impact creates an explosion of heat and energy. This energy is then converted into a tangible form of a plasma beam that is powerful enough to melt even Cybertronian armor. Using this technology, they could not only have a new toy to blast Autobots with, but also a way to become self-sufficient with retrieving Energon.

When Laserbeak had first brought information on this new weapon, Starscream felt his inner scientist's curiosity pique, despite his depressed reverie. Megatron had specified that they were to retrieve the weapon at all costs, making a point to glare at Starscream as he said it.

As it was, Starscream had no desire whatsoever to incur Megatron's wrath and resigned himself to following his orders to the letter. He and his Seekers were flying over the human scientists' lab, trying to keep the Autobots from entering it as Ravage infiltrated it in search of the weapon. It seemed as if every soldier from every faction had been included in this battle. Apparently, the Autobots were more than reluctant to let the weapon fall into the hands of the Decepticons.

Devastator was battling ferociously with the Dinobots; all of Soundwave's little toys had been released and were wreaking havoc around the ankles of the Autobots; the Twins were, of course, attempting to Jet-Judo Starscream's Seekers out of the sky, along with the help of the weapon's specialist; the Stunticons were locked in hand-to-hand combat with several other Autobots. Basically, when Starscream's sensors reached the ground, he was assaulted with full-blown chaos.

Then, naturally, the leaders of each faction were grappling viciously with each other. Starscream had tried to keep his focus on the task at hand, but he couldn't help making erratic passes over the leaders in an attempt to gain one of their attentions. Preferably the Autobot leader. He knew that he wouldn't be able to communicate anything to him, but that wasn't going to stop him from trying to relay how desperately sorry he was for what he said. His trine hadn't noticed his rather eccentric pattern of flight, but Skywarp was just happy he could have a free-for-all with the Autobots.

_:Haha, take _**that**_, Autobot:_ he cackled through their private comm. link as he shot one of the smaller ones square in their chassis. They fell and didn't get back up. _:So, Screamer, what exactly are we supposed to be doing?:_

Deciding the question was beginning to feel redundant at this point, Starscream fervently ignored him. Again.

And, once again, Thundercracker was forced to respond in his most patient voice. _:We're supposed to be making sure none of the Autobots get into the lab. Not just shooting randomly:_

_:Oh… oops: _

_:I take it you've just been shooting randomly: _Thundercracker hazarded a guess, dropping a cluster bomb in the middle of a group of Autobots.

Skywarp peppered the ground with laser fire at the scattering Autobots carelessly and replied _:Pretty much:_

Starscream absentmindedly performed a tight snap roll to avoid a stint of orange fire coming up from the ground. He flew over the wrestling faction leaders again, though neither spared him a second glance.

Thrust and his trine were screaming expletives at the Autobots as they fired mercilessly down on them.

_:Psychos: _Skywarp muttered about the other group of Seekers.

_:Like you've never done that: _Thundercracker pointed out, easily dodging a stray shot.

_:Yeah, but I don't scream like a banshee when I do it:_

_:"Banshee"?:_

_:You know, I don't even know:_

Starscream growled with frustration. _:Would you two shut up and just follow your orders? Primus, your irritating babbling is giving me a processor-ache:_

_:Are you sure it's not, you know, the _**battle**_?: _Skywarp replied coolly.

They were forced to scatter as one of the Autobots suddenly adjusted their aim before Starscream could respond. As Starscream pulled away from his trine, his radar picked up an Autobot energy signal speeding away from the battle. If they had stayed in a straight course from their original point, they would have come straight from the laboratory. They were heading toward a canyon not far from where the main battle was taking place.

Feeling a sudden sense of foreboding, Starscream commed his wingmates _:You two idiots stay here. I want to check something out:_

_:What, you're getting tired of all this exciting fighting?: _Skywarp teased.

Ignoring him, Starscream pursued the fleeing Autobot.

* * *

"Hey, Sunny, check it out!" Sideswipe called out to his brother.

"Check _what _out, Sides?" his brother returned heatedly. "I'm a little _busy _at the moment." He was dancing out of the line of fire from some of the Seekers flying overhead.

"Screamer! Where's he going?" Sideswipe randomly fired into the air, trying to cover his brother as they looked for shelter.

The yellow warrior looked up and saw that, indeed, the red and silver jet was streaking away from the battle toward the canyon. "Yeah, that _is _weird," he muttered.

"C'mon, let's see what he's up to!" Sideswipe insisted. They folded down into their alt forms and sped away from the battle to follow their favorite Aerial Commander.

* * *

Starscream dipped down into the canyon and saw the yellow streak of an Autobot below him. He pulled ahead of them and transformed, landing directly in front of the retreating Volkswagen beetle, null rays raised and glowing ominously pink. The Autobot skid to a halt only a few yards from the Decepticon second in command.

"Now, transform," the air commander instructed, voice unnervingly soft and calm, "and don't even _think _about calling for help."

Bumblebee complied with the order and just stood there, too terrified to even move. He'd been instructed to sneak into the laboratory and grab the weapon before the Decepticons could, then get it past a checkpoint to safety. They had said they would provide enough cover for him to get away, but apparently his mission hadn't escaped the attention of the Air Commander. He held the plasma ray in his arms, trying to keep it out of sight of the Decepticon lieutenant.

"Tell me: what exactly do you think you are doing, fleeing from the battle and leaving your comrades at our mercy? It hardly seems like the _Autobot _thing to do."

"I—" Bumblebee's vocalizer glitched and he couldn't respond. His optics were locked on the glowing barrels of twin null rays aimed at his Spark chamber and his processor couldn't produce any coherent thoughts.

"Don't make me repeat myself, Autobrat," Starscream hissed.

He bit his bottom lip nervously, optics flicking up to meet Starscream's and curiosity got the better of him. He'd heard many tales of the Decepticon second in command, but he'd never seen him save for the red and silver streak slicing through the air with pink fire and jet streams following in his wake. Considering the way red optics studied him, he wasn't the only one to fall victim to his natural inquisitiveness.

Starscream looked the yellow Autobot up and down thoughtfully. He, too, had never actually seen many of his Autobot enemies up close before, as he was usually flying far above them, and his inner scientist's curiosity was getting the better of him. This Autobot was… young. That much was for sure. Really, he hardly even looked old enough to enlist. He couldn't be much past his Youngling vorns. What was he doing getting himself involved in a war? He was also surprisingly small. Of course, that didn't seem to be so much an age thing and he would most likely be that size for the rest of his existence. It most certainly aided in his position as a spy. Though, Starscream could see that he was still incredibly… innocent? He was still relatively untouched by the effects of this war. Starscream inwardly scoffed at the yellow Autobot. It was only a matter of time before this Autobot came to terms with the universe in which he lived and the terrors that it held. It looked as if he was going to get his first lesson, judging by the way his optics shone brightly, despite the glaring radiance of the Earth's sun, displaying his abject fear of the Air Commander.

Except for the fear part, ironically, Bumblebee couldn't help thinking the same thing about the Seeker standing before him. From all the tales he'd heard over the vorns from his comrades of the Decepticon second in command detailing his ruthlessness, cunning and skill in battle, he'd expected someone a little… older. Granted, the scowl currently gracing his faceplates gave him a look almost resembling Ratchet, but, underneath it all, Bumblebee could see that Starscream really wasn't all that much older than _he _was. But, by Primus, he was the Decepticons' _second in command_! How could a mech only a handful of vorns older than himself be at such a high ranking position? From what Bumblebee had seen of him in battle, he had most certainly earned that position, but how could he have climbed through the ranks so quickly? Not to mention his size. Primus, the Seeker was so _small_. He looked so… well, not fragile, considering the fact that he had two null rays trained on his Spark chamber and a murderous glint in his optics, but he seemed oddly… delicate? The Seeker was certainly very slim and—Bumblebee felt his faceplates heat up at the thought—attractive. _Very _attractive. But there was something in his optics that Bumblebee wasn't entirely sure he understood. A kind of… desperation?

"Well, Autobot," Starscream broke Bumblebee out of his reverie in that same unerringly quiet voice, "what are you doing out here?"

Bumblebee shifted uncomfortably at the question, inadvertently displaying the weapon he held in his arms. Starscream's optics widened in shock, then recognition and finally settling on anger.

_That slagging Autobot, how the Pits did he manage to sneak that past us? _Starscream wondered.

It didn't really matter at this point. What _did _matter was that he _needed _to recover that weapon at any cost.

"Well, well, well," he sneered. "Seems you Autobots managed to slither that past us without us even noticing. Well, except for me, of course. So here's what's going to happen: you're going to place the weapon on the ground slowly and, if I'm feeling generous, I may let you go with your miserable life."

"I would rather die than hand this weapon over t-to you!" Bumblebee asserted, silently cringing at the hitch in his vocalizer.

Starscream smirked when he heard the Autobot stutter. "Hmm… that's quite the predicament, isn't it? Either you hand over the weapon and I _probably_ kill you or you force me to take the weapon from you and I _definitely _kill you. Either way, you lose and I win, so why don't you just hand it over to someone who can make proper use of it and this little encounter can just be a distant and unpleasant glitch in my memory banks."

"Never!" Bumblebee declared, his frame beginning to tremble with fear.

Starscream cycled impatiently. He could hear the sounds of the battle bouncing off the canyon walls and he was in no mood to deal with sappy Autobot heroics. "You do realize that, if you continue to defy me, your sacrifice will have been in vain, right? I'll just take it from your cold, lifeless shell and leave you here to succumb to rust and infestation of some horrible organic creature as they seek shelter from this accursed planet's climate. Now, I'm going to give you one last chance and then I'm going to start shooting. Put the gun down slowly and just walk away."

Bumblebee stood indecisively for a few long nanokliks. He knew that he couldn't let the weapon fall into the hands of the Decepticons, but he also knew that he really, _really _didn't want to die. But he couldn't just _give _up the weapon. But he couldn't just let himself be killed either.

Luckily for Bumblebee—unluckily for Starscream—a lone orange blast rocketed through the air and seared the center of Starscream's left wings. He cried out, more in surprise than pain, and immediately glanced around to find the source. He kept his null rays carefully trained on the Autobot's Spark as he conducted his search, optics flickering back every few astroseconds just to make sure he wouldn't make any sudden movements.

Then, out of seemingly nowhere, Starscream felt something very heavy land against his back and he was forced to the ground. He snarled furiously at this interruption, struggling wildly against the weight pinning him down.

"Lookit what I caught, Sunny: a widdle Seeker, aw awone and unsuspecting!"

"And what an _ugly _Seeker, I might add."

Starscream ground his dental plating together in pure resentment. He didn't have to be able to see to recognize those infuriatingly mocking voices. _Those Slagging Pit Spawned Twins! When I get out of this, I'm going to fragging _**terminate them with my bare hands**!!!

"Hey, that there's precious cargo, 'Bee," the red one pointed out. "You better get that outta here _pronto_!"

The yellow Autobot looked doubtfully down at the still thrashing Seeker. Sideswipe kept him easily pinned to the ground, his weight being significantly more than Starscream's, as he practically sat on his back, keeping his arms forced down on each side effortlessly.

"Don't worry about _him_," Sunstreaker assured him, glaring distastefully down at the Air Commander.

"Yeah, we'll take _real _good care of him," Sideswipe grinned maliciously.

That was partially what worried Bumblebee. It bothered him that the Twins were going to be so ruthless to the Decepticon, given that they were both similar in age, even if that Decepticon was going to kill him only a few kliks before.

"I don't know… You won't be _too _harsh, right, guys?" Bumblebee asked nervously.

Abruptly, Starscream stopped fighting. The Autobot was _concerned _for him? After he had _just _threatened his life? Primus, what was it with Autobots misplacing their anxieties? He was their _enemy_, for Primus' sake! Why was he the only one to know that?!

"'Course not!" Sideswipe guaranteed him.

Still not thoroughly convinced, but feeling like he really _should _get out of the vicinity, Bumblebee transformed and prepared to speed off.

As soon as he transformed, however, Starscream ignited his thrusters, tossing the red Autobot off as he shot forward, cockpit scraping painfully against the ground. But he didn't care. He _couldn't _care. The only thing that mattered was retrieving that weapon. There was no way Megatron would be lenient with his punishment if Starscream failed and he would do everything he could to avoid that fate.

The yellow Lamborghini twin was quick to respond to Starscream's escape. The Seeker had picked himself up off the ground quickly, spinning around just in time to avoid catching a fist directed at his helm. He ducked to the side, taking advantage of the Autobot's imbalance, and landed a quick blow to his fuel tanks. He knew the exact pressure point and, as expected, the yellow warrior doubled over with a grunt of pain. Starscream looked up and saw the other yellow Autobot driving away at top speed.

_Retrieve the weapon at all costs_.

He was going to activate his turbines and go after the other when he saw the red Lamborghini twin lunging at him. He quickly ducked as a punch was thrown his way, but the other responded to his missed attack with far more grace than his twin. He used his momentum to swing around, leg raised, to kick the Seeker right in his cockpit. It, too, was dodged and Starscream was quick to grab the flailing limb. He powered his thrusters and used the force to throw the Autobot right into the canyon wall.

Once again, he had every intention of pursuing his fleeing quarry when he was captured from behind. He twisted and turned, viciously trying to extract himself from the mech that had latched onto him, but to no avail.

Sideswipe stood up, looking more annoyed than injured, and walked forward slowly. "You're such a coward, Starscream. What? Trying to escape so you can run back to Megatron?"

"_I'm _the coward?" Starscream responded coolly, ceasing his struggles as he saw his window of opportunity. "Two against one hardly seems fair."

As he predicted, the other twin hissed into his audio, "Since when does a Decepticon _slag _like you care about what's fair?"

So the Twins were going to taunt him first. Perfect.

"Tch, _I _don't. It just seems a little unsporting to let you two try to take me on without fair warning."

Starscream had spent far too many vorns trading insults with Megatron not to know which buttons would get him which results. However, as it was, he _really _needed to get out of this as fast as possible and didn't want to waste time verbally sparring with these two imbeciles.

The arms pinning his own to his sides tightened painfully around him as the red one stalked forward. "You're not as tough as you think you are," he snarled.

_Heh, please, I've spent the last couple millennia trying not to get slagged by Megatron and _**you two**_ think you're a match for me?_

"As much as I'd _love_ to stay and chat, I really do have other business." Without warning, he lifted one of his legs, the turbine heel pointing directly at the red Autobot. Before he could react, Starscream ignited his thruster to its highest setting. Flames shot out of his heel, throwing the red warrior back into the cliff face and the force sending the yellow Autobot back with Starscream still in his grasp. He crashed against the opposite cliff and loosened his grip. Starscream wasted no time in scrambling to his pedes. Both Autobots were still a bit staggered by the attack, but there was no harm in being cautious. He shot them both with his null rays and they instantly froze, all body functions paralyzed for the next few breems. He seriously considered dropping a cluster bomb on their sorry afts, but he had more pressing matters to attend to.

He transformed and shot off in search of the Volkswagen beetle.

He flew high above the canyon to get a better view and it wasn't long before he located his target. He dove to the ground at top speed, fully intending to stop his descent before he could crash into a pile of scrap. He pulled easily out of his dive, only about three hundred yards behind the Autobot and gaining fast. Two hundred yards… one fifty… one hundred… fifty…

Starscream had _intended_ to fly _over _the Volkswagen and land directly in front of him as he had before. He did not, however, expect for the Autobot to transform once he was only twenty yards behind him. The sudden extra height caught Starscream off-guard and he had no time to react. He slammed into the Autobot's back at break-neck speed, sending them both sprawling forward. The Autobot was pinned facedown on the ground beneath Starscream.

Starscream recovered almost instantly with the Autobot there to break most of his fall. "Where is it? Where's the—?" His question died in his vocalizer as there was a brief glint of something reflecting the sun's rays.

And time stopped. There, twirling end over end, floating almost carelessly through the air, was the weapon that they had spent so long planning to steal. There was the object that he'd been ordered to retrieve at all costs lest he face Megatron's wrath. There was the prototype of a highly unstable weapon that was going to collide with the ground imminently and release the carefully controlled but still incredibly _unstable _elements, creating a large fiery explosion that would consume _both _Transformers if they didn't get out of the way.

As all of this went through his head, Starscream searched frantically for some place to avoid the flaming death that awaited him. He located a small niche in the canyon walls about thirty yards behind him. It was just barely wide enough to accommodate his wings, but not high enough for him to stand at his full height. He didn't think twice. He jumped to his pedes and practically flew back to the tiny cavern…

… dragging Bumblebee haphazardly behind him as he went.

He nearly threw the stunned Autobot into their impromptu bunker and just barely had time to get his wingtips inside before a sudden roar shook the valley. An explosion of fire and heat scorched past their hiding place, so hot that it almost felt as if their joints would fuse together from the temperature. Intense orange and white flames seared through their vision, forcing them to shut off their optics or risk having them literally be burned from their faces. Starscream had somehow managed to situate himself closest to the entrance, facing the back wall and inadvertently shielding Bumblebee from the majority of the blast with his wings.

It was over in only a few nanokliks. However, not wanting to take any chances, Starscream cautiously crawled to the entrance and peered out. He let out a small gasp at the damage. The _entire canyon_ for nearly four hundred yards in every direction was _charred black_. The initial impact site of the weapon had apparently been hot enough to render the surrounding sand into glass. Had they stayed where they were, there was no doubt they would have been incinerated.

But, from what Starscream could tell, the danger had passed. He slumped against the wall, momentarily forgetting his "audience", and let his head fall into his hands.

_Oh Primus, this is bad. I destroyed the weapon. This time it actually _**was **_my fault. Primus, Megatron is _**not **_going to be happy when I have to tell him. He's already looking for every reason to slag me, why the Pits did I have to go and do this?_

He cycled miserably, knowing what his fate would be upon returning to the Nemesis.

"Are… are you alright?" a soft voice suddenly asked.

Starscream jumped as he was reminded that he had company. He donned a sneer and snapped, "None of your business, _Autobot_." However, it lacked the venom that he'd intended and came out as more of a weary groan.

"You… saved my life."

Starscream glared. "No I didn't, I just…" He trailed off, realizing that he _had _saved the Autobot's life. He had no conscious desire to do so; he'd just… done it. Feeling confused and defeated and extremely exhausted, he muttered, "Whatever. Just don't mention it to anyone."

Bumblebee tilted his head quizzically. Then, feeling suddenly bold, he replied, "Why? Don't want your reputation as a ruthless Decepticon to be jeopardized?"

Starscream opened his mouth to retort at the audacious words when he found none. Instead, he found his lips curving up into a tiny smile as he mumbled, "Yeah, something like that."

Bumblebee was taken aback by the reaction. But more than that was the _expression _on the Seeker's face. It looked so… authentic! And he really _was _very attractive when he wasn't spewing threats or insults.

"So… what happens now?" Bumblebee asked cautiously. He was still in the presence of a Decepticon—trapped in a corner, no less—and he had no desire to be taken prisoner.

Starscream shrugged dismissively… or, at least, he tried to. "I guess we wait until someone comes to investigate the explosion and once they realize what it was, someone will sound the retreat and we all go back to our respective factions."

Bumblebee carefully studied the other's faceplates as he spoke. "It sounds like there's more to it than that."

Starscream's head shot up and locked optics with the other, crimson flaring dangerously. Bumblebee at least had the decency to look frightened and shrunk away. It was then the Starscream became aware of another energy signature blipping on his radar. One lone Transformer was flying out here to investigate the blast. And Starscream realized with a deep sinking in his fuel tanks that it was the one mech he really didn't want to see right now.

He knew that Megatron would know there was another mech somewhere out here. It's not like the weapon had walked all the way out here on its own. And he also knew that he would quickly discover their hiding spot. He would probably kill the Autobot—if for no other reason than sheer irritation—and he would make Starscream pay for being so stupid as to destroy the prototype in the first place.

He knew what he should do. He didn't have to like it, but it was—_Oh Primus, no!_—the right thing to do.

"Give me your blaster," Starscream commanded.

"W-what?" Bumblebee stammered.

"Are your audios glitching? Give me your blaster." When none was forthcoming, he raised a null ray threateningly. "This could kill you at such close range." A bluff, yes, but the Autobot didn't know that.

Reluctantly, the yellow Autobot complied, pulling his blaster out of his subspace and handing it over to the Decepticon lieutenant. Starscream took a deep, steadying cycle, to prepare himself for what he was about to do. Before he could second-guess himself, he raised the gun and pointed it at his right thruster. Bracing himself against the pain, his squeezed the trigger. There was a flash of orange light and Starscream bit his bottom lip to keep from crying out. He only half-succeeded and a muffled groan escaped his lips.

Bumblebee watched in shock as the Air Commander suddenly shot himself in the ped. He stared in open-mouthed horror as the Decepticon bit back the cry of pain. Then, he regained some control of his vocal processor and gasped, "What the Pits—? Why did you—? How could—? Are you _masochistic_?"

He did not expect the breathless chuckle he got in response. "Sometimes I wonder that myself," he muttered, more to himself than the other.

He'd managed to subdue the wash of pain crashing through his systems and realized something was missing. A quick look down at himself revealed the missing component. He grabbed a rather sizable rock sitting close to the entrance and held it over his cockpit. His optics flickered as he braced himself once again and, with unrelenting force, drove the rock into his golden cockpit. The glass shattered on impact, shards falling around him and into the delicate wiring, slicing through various Energon lines. The pain was excruciating. A pained whimper fell from his lips as he tried to hold back a shriek of anguish.

Bumblebee was once again forced into appalled silence as the Air Commander further mutilated himself. He couldn't even think of a coherent sentence to express his distress at the Decepticon's conduct.

Starscream took in deep gulps of air, trying to cool his overworking systems and in an attempt to deaden the pain. He glanced up at his "companion" and found himself perversely amused by the look of horror plastered across his face.

"I need to look convincing, don't I?" he stated breathlessly.

Horror turned into confusion, but before Bumblebee could ask the question on the tip of his vocalizer, he heard the sound of someone touching down only a few yards from their refuge. He saw Starscream's mouth tighten into a thin line and his entire body tensed. Bumblebee knew there was probably only one mech that could have this kind of effect on the Air Commander, and he felt himself go rigid with fear.

Starscream turned to look at him, his optics expressing one single wordless command—_Stay here_—and, after another steadying cycle, the Decepticon second in command practically flung himself sideways to the mouth of their shelter.

But not before Bumblebee caught a look of what he thought was regret.

Starscream crawled out of the cave on his elbows and knees, his body trembling with the effort. "M-my Lord," he gasped as he set optics on the silver warlord standing only a few yards from where he'd emerged.

"Starscream," Megatron growled dangerously, turning to look down at his battered Second, "what, pray tell, _caused _this explosion?"

He managed to sneer. "Why, my Lord, isn't it obvious? This was quite clearly yet _another _of your plans going up in smoke. Literally, I might add."

"Do you mean to tell me that you _destroyed _the weapon?" His voice was ominously soft.

_That's not good_, Starscream thought apprehensively. When he sounded like that, it was a pretty accurate indication of severe pain. However, he maintained the bravado and replied, trying to keep his voice lightly condescending, "_I _didn't destroy the weapon… It was destroyed on impact."

In one swift movement, Starscream found himself being picked roughly up from the ground by his throat and slammed into the cliff wall. Megatron kept him pinned with ease, his entire frame trembling with Rage, optics flaring like Pit-fire, his black hand clasped tightly around the delicate circuitry of Starscream's neck. Blue pedes dangled uselessly in the air as Megatron kept him pinned firmly against the rock behind him. Azure hands clutched uselessly around an ebony wrist keeping him held up. He tried to let out a cry of protest, but only a strangled whimper escaped his lips.

"We spent nearly a _decacycle_ planning to retrieve that weapon," Megatron hissed, his face far too close to Starscream's for his liking, "and, _once again_, you managed to render almost a month of preparations futile in only a few kliks. Really, you _must _do it on purpose because I'm hard-pressed to think that even _you're _stupid enough to make this many mistakes."

Starscream's optics widened and he attempted to deny it, but Megatron continued to crush his vocalizer. Instead, he shook his head vehemently.

"You disgust me," the warlord snarled. Abruptly, he turned and threw Starscream across the canyon so he landed against the opposite wall. He let out a pained shriek as he crumpled into a heap. He shook his helm to rid himself of the static riddling his vision, but heard the distinct sound of pedes stomping toward him. He tried to force himself into a defensive position, to no avail. Megatron grabbed him by the wing, earning a grunt of discomfort, and forced him, facedown, to the ground.

It wasn't an unfamiliar position, but with protective glass of his cockpit in shards, the uneven ground meeting the sensitive wiring in his canopy served for extreme torture. He cried out, his arms flailing wildly as he attempted to push himself up from the ground, only to feel a black ped pushing him back down. It forced him to grind against the rocky surface, causing more gravel to filter into his shattered canopy, and Starscream was in agony.

"Megatron! Please! Ahh!" he screeched. "It wasn't my fault! It was those Twins! They shot me down!! Please! Let me up!" His pleas turned into incoherent shrieks of pain.

Over the sounds of his screams, he could just make out the sound of Megatron speaking. "Always blaming others for you failures, aren't you, Starscream? Too much of a coward to admit to your own short-comings. Pathetic." The ped was removed and Starscream wasted no time in pushing himself up. However, Megatron forced him to his pedes and punched him right in his cockpit—or, at least, what _was _his cockpit.

His entire world dissolved into static-filled darkness for an astrosecond. For that one brief moment, there was no pain, there was no humiliation, there was no Megatron beating the slag out of him. Everything faded away and he floated _above _the pain. It was euphoric, almost. He felt like he was flying and the wind was rushing over his wings, the warmth from the sun contrasting with the cool rush of wind and his body was somewhere in between. He _lived _in that one astrosecond.

That was, until he crumpled to the ground with a shrill wail of agony. He curled around himself, trying desperately to protect his broken cockpit from anymore abuse, his body trembling violently from the maltreatment, his vocalizer hitching with near sobs of anguish.

"We will continue this when we return to the Nemesis," Megatron promised, voice unnervingly soft as he looked distastefully down at his quivering Second. "Perhaps then your comrades will be less likely to follow your example of constant failures." He bent swiftly, taking Starscream's face in his large hand, and growled, "But don't think that a beating will be your _only _punishment." He pushed the Seeker away and stood up. "Now get up. You're repulsive."

Not wanting to elicit anymore pain, Starscream got shakily to his pedes, swaying dangerously. Static laced his vision and pain wracked his body. He wrapped his arms around his front in a subtle attempt to shield his exposed circuitry in case the warlord became violent again. He was vaguely aware of Megatron sending the order to retreat over the public Decepticon comm. link and, with difficulty, activated his thrusters to follow his leader into the sky. The wind whistling through his damaged cockpit was torture, but Starscream kept it to himself. He dipped precariously as his wingmates pulled up on each side of his wings.

They did a brief once-over, then, understanding the situation, wisely remained silent. There was nothing they could say that Megatron wouldn't and they didn't want to appear redundant.

* * *

Bumblebee watched in numb shock as the Decepticon Supreme Commander and second in command retreated into the clear blue sky. He couldn't think, didn't _want_ to think, about what Megatron was going to do to Starscream. It was… too horrible for words. He _knew _that Optimus would _never _intentionally hurt his own troops for a failed mission. And, Primus, what had he _done _to Starscream? Those sounds… those horrible screams… He'd shot himself in the _ped_ and barely uttered more than a whimper. To have him _screaming _like that… Primus…

He hardly even noticed when his comrades came rushing around him, staring in wide-opticked wonder at the damage the plasma ray had caused.

"Hey, 'Bee, you okay?" Sideswipe asked coming up to him. "We saw Screamer fly after you and thought that… you know, he was gonna…"

He shook his head numbly, optics still locked on the horizon where he could just barely make out the forms of the retreating Decepticons.

"Primus, what'd he do to yeh?" Ironhide wondered concernedly, placing a hand lightly on a small yellow shoulder.

"He… he saved my life," Bumblebee whispered in shock. And he _had_. Megatron would have _killed _him if he'd seen him. Starscream had threatened to kill him, but then, he'd… sacrificed himself so that Bumblebee could escape unscathed.

Jazz laughed loudly, while the other Autobots went rigid with astonishment. "No, c'mon, 'Bee, what'd he _really _do ta ya?"

When dimmed blue optics slid over to meet the saboteur's, he also fell silent, realizing the Mini-Bot had been telling the truth.

Optimus came forward, taking Ironhide's place and murmured, "I want you to tell me everything when we get back, okay?"

Bumblebee nodded dazedly.

Optimus held in his concern for the Seeker as much as he could, but his optics drifted to where the Decepticons had fled and what was going through his processor was quite evident to Prowl who watched his leader carefully.

_This needs to be addressed_, Prowl decided.

* * *

_In case you were wondering, a Youngling is like an adolescent Transformer. I like the idea that Starscream is significantly younger than the others—I don't know why—and I'm not going to apologize for it. Plus, you can't tell me that he didn't act like a petulant little brat most of the time in G1. _;P


	9. Chapter 9

__

I lied. This chapter isn't very long. Sorry if I got your hopes up. *feels guilty*

_But, to be honest, I'm kinda glad it's short because I rewrote it like 3 times because it sucked the first 2 times. Now it sucks slightly less… I think. Hope it was worth all the frustrated squeals and hair pulling. *slagging stupid chapter, grumble grumble grumble*_

* * *

Optimus listened with rapt attention, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible while maintaining enough fervent attention without looking too overly anxious, as his youngest warrior recounted his encounter with the Decepticon Air Commander. He had difficulty forcing himself to listen from the perspective of the Autobot Commander that he was and _not _from the habitual lover that was trying to take over.

Bumblebee had been thoroughly shaken by the entire event. More so because of the latter part of the incident than the former. A few times Optimus was _sure _that the little Autobot was going to leave the contents of his fuel tanks all over his office floor. However, after nearly a breem of the distressed narration, Optimus dismissed him, giving him a few orns off-duty to pull himself back together. Yet, Bumblebee held his ground, fidgeting nervously.

"Prime, sir," the little yellow Autobot muttered, standing rigidly in front of Optimus' desk. "He… he doesn't look much older than me."

Optimus felt his Spark wrench in pain at the thought. "I don't think he _is_ much older than you are," he agreed softly.

"And… does Megatron do that to him a lot?"

"I think so," Optimus nodded sadly.

"But why doesn't he just leave?"

It was a fair question, one that Optimus had asked himself numerous times even before they'd started their affair. And he still didn't have a satisfactory answer for it. "I don't know," he answered finally. "He's dedicated much of his life to the Decepticons and I guess he still believes in their Cause."

"But _why_? Megatron was totally unfair to him! It wasn't _his _fault that I got into the lab! It was the other Seekers that I snuck past, not him. I _tried _to get past him, but he kept his perimeter covered too well." Bumblebee felt his processor buzz with unjust. "Starscream shouldn't be punished because it wasn't his fault!"

"I know, Bumblebee, I know," Optimus agreed quietly. In his Spark, he felt a swelling of pride at his youngest warrior's indignation at Starscream's situation. "But Megatron won't listen to reason and he'll take his frustration out on Starscream so that this failure doesn't reflect on him."

"It's not _fair_! _You _would never do that!" Bumblebee all but shouted.

Optimus cycled sorrowfully, weariness present in his optics.

"I'm sorry, Prime, sir," the yellow 'Bot muttered quickly, his anger diffusing. "I didn't mean to yell."

"It's okay. I understand."

"I just…" He sighed helplessly. "He saved my life, sir. I just wish there was something we could do for him."

_So do I_, Optimus silently agreed. Instead, he said, "Well, I know what _you_ must do. It's been a long day for all of us. Go back to your quarters and try not to dwell too long on this. You need to rest."

Bumblebee sighed again. "Okay, Prime. Thank you."

Optimus stood as the yellow spy left, watching the door slide shut behind him. He dropped back down into his chair and covered his face with his hands.

Optimus couldn't deny that before today he'd still been a little peeved with Starscream for so wrongly misjudging his affections, but that was all before the Air Commander had saved Bumblebee's life. Optimus couldn't for the life of him figure out why Starscream would have done that. Not that he was complaining (though he couldn't help wishing the Seeker would have found a way _other _than self-mutilation to save Bumblebee). A part of him was cheering in a highly undignified fashion for Starscream's unexpectedly merciful act toward his youngest soldier, hoping that Starscream _was _changing, despite what he wanted to believe, and that his defection could possibly be imminent. However, the other part was completely consumed with dread for what awaited the Seeker upon his return to the Nemesis. At their last meeting, Starscream had revealed that Megatron suspected he was up to something and it was more than likely that with this latest failure he would combine his frustrations, resulting in brutal repercussions.

And there was nothing that Optimus could _do_. His Spark was urging him to call a surprise attack on the Decepticon base in the hopes of taking Starscream prisoner, thus bringing him out of harm's way. But his duty to his men forced him to push those thoughts out of his head. He knew such would be a suicide mission and, without the proper preparations, heavy casualties would be expected. As much as it pained his Spark to accept it, his men came before Starscream. He would just have to hope that his injuries would not severe enough to keep him from their meeting.

He would have a week to heal. That should be plenty of time. Even with the more serious damage that his troops sustained, they were up and about within the week. Starscream should be ready by then. After all, he didn't know any mech that was as resilient as Starscream. Certainly none of his soldiers could handle pain half as well as the Seeker could. It wasn't a slight to them, Optimus assured himself, but a simple fact. But he couldn't stop the anger flaring through his CPU about _why _Starscream could take such vicious punishment.

Optimus had never held any respect for the way that Megatron treated his men. His style of leadership was more about survival of the fittest and, as he'd demonstrated on numerous occasions, he would leave his soldiers behind in a Sparkpulse if he could save himself. Leadership was about sacrifice. It was about putting the good of the whole ahead of the good of the self. A fact that Megatron never seemed to grasp and probably never _would _grasp. And, more than that, it was about taking responsibility for one's failures as well as their victories. A good leader was accountable for _everything _that resulted from their troops.

And, _Primus_, it just wasn't fair that Starscream was always blamed for _everything_.

However, his thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock at his office door. He called whoever it was in and the door slid open to reveal a rather grim-faced Prowl.

"Hello, Prowl," Optimus greeted warmly, trying to pacify his raging processor. "What can I do for you?"

"Sir," the tactician responded, his tone carrying a foreign note of bleak emotion, "we need to talk."

The Autobot leader cocked his head slightly to the side at the tone of voice. "Of course. What about?"

Prowl came to stand directly in front of Prime's desk, squared his shoulders like he was mentally and physically preparing himself before saying, quite simply, "Starscream."

"What about him?" he asked curiously, a hint of dread popping up in the back of his processor. However, he quickly subdued it. Prowl probably only wanted to know what Bumblebee had told him.

"What happened between you two?" Prowl queried seriously.

"What do you mean?" Prime responded, not entirely sure where this conversation was heading. As far as Prowl knew, he hadn't come into contact with Starscream for half an Earth year. Why would he want to know what happened between them when he believed nothing had for so long?

The Datsun cycled patiently. "Sir, ever since you repaired Starscream nearly six months ago, you have been acting strangely and I've noticed that it tends to revolve around him. I want to know exactly what he said to you to make you act like this."

Luckily Optimus had the battle mask or else Prowl would have seen his jaw drop in shock. He'd thought Prowl wanted to know what Bumblebee had recounted for him only a few kliks before.

"I'm… afraid I don't follow," he replied uncertainly.

"Prime, it's no secret that you've been… under much stress for a while now and I couldn't help noticing that it started exactly after your last encounter with Starscream. It leads me to believe that he said or did something to you to cause this sudden change in behavior. As your second in command, I believe that it is my right to know what exactly it was."

How could Prowl even suspect that anything had happened between them? Optimus knew that he hadn't been as subtle as he could have—and, apparently, _should have_—been, but he hadn't thought it was so obvious that Prowl would actually feel the need to confront him about it.

"What makes you think he said something to me?"

"Prime, I've seen Starscream in battle. I know that there's no one who loves to hear their own voice more than he does. It strikes me as _highly _unlikely that you repaired him in silence."

Optimus bit his bottom lip in thought. "I just… came to understand him a little better than I did before. That's all."

"_How_?" Prowl insisted, his normally calm demeanor becoming edgy with impatience.

Optimus thought quickly. "He's the Decepticons' second-in-command, Prowl, and they left him behind as little more than an after-thought. I could tell he was… hurt, I suppose, by it. And _no one _deserves that. No one deserves to be abandoned by their entire faction and left for dead. He was grateful that I came back and helped him when no one else had and… I just got the feeling that maybe he's not as bad as everyone believes."

Prowl was a bit taken aback by this. "Prime, you aren't actually _sympathizing_ with him, are you?"

When Optimus didn't answer, Prowl continued indignantly, "He's our _enemy_, Prime! Just because he's capable of showing such base emotions as gratitude does not condone him of all the things he's done in the past and will continue to do in the future. You said it yourself: he's the Decepticons' _second-in-command_. Sympathizing with him is almost as bad as sympathizing with Megatron himself!"

Neither mech could have guessed how quickly Optimus stood in that moment. "He is _nothing_ like Megatron," Optimus asserted, voice laced with an unfamiliar tenor of fury as he towered over his Second. His optics flared almost white with anger and Prowl couldn't remember another time he'd felt so small. He literally took a step back in fear.

The anger only lasted a few astroseconds before it melted into confusion. He had no idea where that had come from, but it shook him to his very Spark. He sat back down in his seat, optics clouded over with uncertainty. Both commanding officers stayed in silence for a while before Optimus finally spoke, his voice soft, but carrying an air of finality, "Prowl, the event that transpired between Starscream and I six months ago is no concern of yours. As your commanding officer, I am forbidding you from bringing it up again and, if you do, I will have no choice but to charge you with insubordination. You are dismissed."

Prowl stood at the desk, looking as if he'd been slapped in the face. And, in a way, Prime supposed he had been. He'd never pulled rank on his Second—or rarely anyone, for that matter—before and for him to do so over such a sensitive matter was certainly cause for upset. Prowl was one of his oldest and closest friends. He almost always confided in the tactician about more personal matters that he couldn't share with his other soldiers, but now he had blatantly refused his inclusion in what troubled him. Of course Prowl would be hurt.

But, the loyal soldier he was, he turned briskly on his heel without another word, following his orders to the letter.

Optimus couldn't help letting his shoulders droop in misery as he watched Prowl leave his office. He knew the tactician was angry or disappointed with him. He didn't blame him, either. But he didn't know what else to do. He couldn't let Prowl find out what's been going on with him and Starscream.

He cycled miserably. Despite their victory—and could they even call it a victory since the weapon was destroyed anyway?—today had taken a very dismal turn for the worst. He had a painful throbbing in his processor and a few dents and gashes courtesy of Megatron that he hadn't had the chance to get repaired. He slumped forward, his face hiding in his hands and let out a deep cycle. If the week continued in this fashion, he didn't think he'd make it to the end.

* * *

The tactician stormed through the halls of the Ark and any mechs that happened to be in the way quickly found themselves scurrying for shelter. An angry Prowl was not one to be bothered. He wound up at the door to his and Jazz's quarters. Taking a deep steadying intake, Prowl entered the code and stepped inside. As expected, Jazz sat on their couch, tapping his foot in rhythm with a song that was playing in his audios. At Prowl's entrance, he looked up. He took in Prowl's expression and the emotions blaring through their bond and immediately stood up to embrace his bondmate.

Sending as many calming emotions through their bond as he could, Jazz murmured, "What happened, love?"

They both knew that Prowl could simply show him through their connection, but the saboteur knew that Prowl would only get this out of his systems if he talked about it out loud.

"You've noticed Prime acting strangely, haven't you?" Prowl asked wearily, wrapping his arms around Jazz's waist and holding him close.

"'Course I have," he replied softly, running a soothing finger over Prowl's door wing. "Ev'ryone has."

"So why won't he just talk to me about it?"

"I dunno, sweet Spark, but I'm sure he has his reasons."

Prowl cycled. "But since when has he felt the need to keep them from me?"

"Hon, I know that you'n Prime are close and he usu'lly confides in ya, but I don't think there's anythin' ya can do this time. He'll come 'round eventu'lly. He's just goin' through a rough time."

"He pulled rank on me, Jazz!" Prowl snapped, pulling back to glare at the saboteur. "He's _never_ pulled rank on me!"

Jazz was not deterred by his bondmate's outburst. Instead, he ran his fingers down his headlights, nodding in understanding. "I know, love, I know. And that prob'ly means that whatever it is is really import'nt to him. He wouldn't'a done it unless he didn't have any other choice."

Realizing that his bondmate was right and feeling guilty for snapping at him when he was just trying to help, Prowl wilted somewhat and pulled him back into the embrace, sending a wordless apology to him. "I just… I just wish he wouldn't keep this from me." Jazz felt his bondmate's concern and sent a wave of love to him.

"It'll be okay, hon." He leaned up and kissed him tenderly, letting his conviction shine through and he felt Prowl relax slightly. Only slightly, but it was enough. "C'mon, baby. Ya been spendin' so much time worryin' 'bout all this that ya didn't get yerself fixed up yet." He smirked gently up at him, running an enticing hand down his front. "Let Dr. Jazz fix ya up."

Prowl smiled down at the blue and white mech in his arms and consented, allowing himself to be dragged into their bedroom so he could be "fixed."

* * *

_So I seriously considered calling this "Chapter 8.5" because it struck me as more of an add-on to the last chapter than its own. But then I decided that if I did that, then I'd have to rename _**all **_the chapters after this and that's just an extra 3 seconds that I didn't feel like wasting. _

_Also, not to sound too presumptuous or anything, but I think you guys are going to love me for the next chapter. *snickers mysteriously*_


	10. Chapter 10

_Kind of an early update, I know, but I'm going to be… indisposed for a few days without access to a computer so I thought I'd just put it up now._

_Also, I tried something a little different for this chapter. See if you can spot it and take a guess. I thought it was subtle, but I'm probably dead wrong. _

* * *

Optimus was pretty sure that this had been one of the worst weeks of his entire life. Bumblebee was proving to be extremely skittish and prone to "zoning out", as Spike put it; Jazz was forced to act as a mediator between Prime and his Second as Prowl was avoiding him like he was infected with some kind of contagious virus; and any other waking thought that wasn't occupied by the conduct of his soldiers was solely focused on Starscream. Was he okay? Was he even _alive_?

Was he still mad about last month? What if he didn't show up, not because he wasn't physically able, but because he simply didn't _want _to?

It was a fear that Optimus had tried to keep subdued for the past month, but now, as he sped to their meeting place, it burst forth in full blast. He didn't know how he'd react if Starscream was still angry with him. As he reflected, he _had _been thoughtless in suggesting that Starscream was any less loyal to the Decepticons. He wasn't any less loyal to the Autobots and it was tactless for him to suggest otherwise.

The meeting place came into view and Optimus felt his Spark freeze. It was completely deserted. Starscream wasn't perched up on his rock like he usually was and, as Optimus sent out a brief scan, he wasn't _anywhere _in the vicinity. Optimus pulled up next to Starscream's rock and transformed, feeling an unfamiliar panic sweep his Spark.

Where was he? Did Megatron kill him? Was he just offline in their medbay? Was Starscream simply confined to base? Had Megatron found out about these meetings? How badly was he damaged? What if he just didn't want to come? What if he lost interest in Optimus? Slag it all, _where was he_?

Optimus paced back and forth, hands clasped tightly behind his back. He didn't know what to do. He wasn't used to this suffocating feeling of uncertainty. If he just knew that Starscream was alive, it would be at least a little comfort. But he didn't. And he was terrified.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd been as terrified for the safety of another mech as he was right now. Even when Jazz had been captured by the Decepticons a little over a year ago hadn't felt as nerve-wracking as this had. Prowl, of course, was beside himself and Optimus couldn't help wondering if this was how he'd felt then. If it was, then Optimus was going to have to remember to commend him for it because the Matrix bearer was barely able to keep his panic in check.

He waited for almost an entire cycle without as much as a hint of the Seeker's arrival. But he didn't want to leave. He needed to be there. Even if Starscream didn't show up, he felt that he needed to be there. Several times, he'd sat down on the rock that Starscream had chosen as his personal bench, but found that his body wouldn't let him sit still. So he paced. Another breem passed and there was still no Starscream.

Optimus cycled, trying to calm his overworking systems. He was visibly shaking with anxiety.

_Primus, Starscream, where are you? _Optimus thought nervously.

Almost as if on cue, the whine of jet turbines cut through the night. Optimus snapped his head up in the direction of the sound, his Spark exploding with relief and joy. He could just barely make out the sight of a red and silver streak slicing through the air. A few nanokliks after the initial sound and Starscream was folding out of his jet form to land… rather clumsily… about fifty feet from where Optimus stood. He swayed dangerously on his pedes before his legs buckled and he fell to his hands and knees on the ground.

Unable to hold himself back, Optimus rushed forward to meet him. Starscream looked up at the sound of his pedes on the ground and locked optics with him. Surprise flickered across his face, then relief, and then… fear. Starscream scrambled back, away from Optimus, terror plastered on his face.

Optimus froze. Why was Starscream afraid of _him_? "Starscream… what's wrong?" Optimus asked concernedly.

"Stay back!" he commanded, raising a null ray threateningly. A closer look revealed that it was more a gesture of desperation as opposed to aggression.

"Why—?" Optimus took a step forward and Starscream retreated further, dragging himself along the rough, uneven ground. He hissed softly in pain, but made no other sound as he watched the Autobot leader. However, Optimus found his optics roving down the Seeker's body and he realized the cause of Starscream's pain. There were relatively fresh weld lines all down his chassis, his cockpit had been recently replaced, some large fist-shaped dents covered his helm and wings, a thin line of Energon oozed from one of the nastier looking welds, paint was chipped and scratched, and, most disturbingly of all, there were two sets of three long gashes over the Decepticon insignias on his wings… like someone had tried to scratch them off.

"Starscream…" Optimus gasped in shock. Unconsciously, he took a step forward. There was a flash of pink light and a null blast flew just over his right shoulder.

"I told you, _stay back_!" the Seeker hissed. "Next time, I won't miss!" Upon more careful inspection, he realized that Starscream was trembling. Though from pain or fear, he had no idea.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Starscream," Optimus assured him gently, raising his hands in what he hoped was a gesture of sincerity. But he had no idea what compelled him to say that in the first place.

"Why should I believe you?" the Air Commander snapped.

"When have I ever hurt you?" Optimus returned softly.

The Seeker's mouth opened slightly, optics widening in surprise at the response. "You—" he gasped. "But—" He composed himself. "There's a first time for everything," he snarled.

"Please, Starscream, I promise I won't hurt you. Lower your weapon."

The Decepticon wore a furious expression, but Optimus could barely make out the wariness and fear playing just beneath the surface. His arms trembled more violently as indecision crept into his face. He studied Optimus' optics for a long time, searching for his intentions. Then his optics traveled mistrustfully over his body and he tensed further. Optimus had hoped that his body language was as non-threatening as possible, but Starscream apparently disagreed. As Optimus thought about it, he understood the problem. He was about the same height and build as Megatron and he was currently towering over the Seeker on the ground. He may not fully comprehend Starscream's irrational fear of him, but he _did _know who had caused those wounds.

Optimus slowly lowered himself to the ground, his hands up in the most innocuous way that he could imagine, and settled down with his legs crossed underneath him with a safe distance between himself and the Seeker. Starscream watched him warily as he did so, uncertain of his intent. When he finally planted himself on the ground, the Air Commander's mouth opened in confusion and his arm lowered a little unconsciously.

"I would never hurt you, Starscream," Optimus repeated softly. "I would never _want _to hurt you. Please… lower your weapon."

Starscream bit his lip in thought. He studied Optimus for a long time, struggling to come to a decision. A few tense kliks passed in utter silence and finally, mercifully, the null ray fell harmlessly to its owner's side. Optimus felt himself sag in relief.

"Thank you, Starscream," he sighed gratefully. However, as he looked, he saw that Starscream was still just as tense—more so, even—as when he had his gun trained on the Autobot leader. Optimus tilted his head slightly in perplexity. "Why do you think I'm going to hurt you?"

The Seeker was visibly taken aback by the question. "Because…" he began edgily before trailing off. Then, his face twisted in irritation and he turned sharply away, spitting, "I don't have to explain myself to you."

Optimus felt his Spark twinge in response. Was it possible that Starscream was still angry with him from last month? But that didn't explain the irrational fear. Unless… Optimus had been more than a little irritated with him at the time. Maybe Starscream had picked up on it… and…

Suddenly everything fell into place. Of course! Whenever Megatron was angry with him, he tended to take his irritation out on Starscream, usually with more violent methods. Megatron had very recently punished Starscream in his Rage and the Seeker was still recovering so the "lesson" was probably still fresh in his CPU. He thought that Optimus would take the same route as Megatron and would punish him for what he'd said last month. He'd been conditioned to believe that anger resulted in pain.

Optimus' Spark ached at the thought. "I'm not angry with you, Starscream," Optimus murmured, just loud enough for him to hear.

The Seeker's head snapped back to look at him, optics wide and bright in surprise. "You're not?" he blurted out, his anger momentarily forgotten.

"No, I'm not."

The most endearing expression of naïve hopefulness that Optimus had ever seen bloomed over Starscream's face at the assertion. His wings twitched upward and the tension seemed to bleed from his entire body.

It didn't last long as he frowned slightly. "But… last month… I thought…" He trailed off again.

"I was… a little irritated," Optimus admitted. To his chagrin, Starscream's arm jerked as if to raise the null ray defensively again, so he quickly added, "But now I'm not. It was tactless for me to suggest what I did and… I'm sorry."

Starscream was floored at the apology. His entire body visibly jolted back in shock.

Optimus continued. "I shouldn't have said that. I was just worried about you and it slipped out. I understand why you were angry with me and I don't blame you." He paused at Starscream's expression. There was an odd combination of sad nostalgia and wonder.

Staring over Optimus' shoulder, he asked softly, "You were worried about me?"

His Spark contracted painfully in its chamber. "Yes, oh Primus, yes, I was… am… worried about you. I'm _always _worried about you. Especially after the battle earlier this week." Starscream flinched slightly. "I thought Megatron was going to kill you. Or that you would be too incapacitated to show up. Or that you wouldn't want to," he added quietly.

Starscream looked up, perplexed. "Why wouldn't I—?" He cut himself off, optics flashing in understanding. He nodded slightly before falling still. Well, still enough. Optimus could tell that he was still shaking and he realized that the Seeker must be in pain.

"Starscream?" Optimus said, unable to idly sit there while Starscream was in agony any longer.

The Air Commander looked at him.

"May I come over?"

Optimus felt his processor glitch as the Seeker's expression flickered in a dizzying array of emotions. Indecision warred with desire, mistrust with hopefulness, fear with longing. His optics studied the Matrix bearer's body, searching for any hint of ill intent, and his own body was tense with uncertainty. After a small eternity, he gave a curt almost imperceptible nod.

With caution, Optimus stood, not straightening to his full height to avoid intimidation and walked, slowly, to where the Seeker sat. Their optics stayed locked on the other's as Optimus settled down next to Starscream. He was within an arm's length, but not close enough to crowd him. Starscream went unbearably rigid, optics flicking around the area nervously, like he was looking for an escape route.

At a closer distance, Optimus was able see the damage in more detail and his Spark convulsed in sympathy. He couldn't imagine how painful some of those wounds must have been to receive. Especially the gashes along his wings, knowing how sensitive they were. Unconsciously, he muttered, "You didn't deserve this."

Starscream glanced back at him, optics wide.

"You've never deserved this," Optimus continued softly, wanting nothing more than to reach out and soothe his aches. "Megatron is lucky to have you on his side. It isn't fair that he treats you like this. You deserve so much better."

Optimus looked up at Starscream. The Seeker appeared to be conflicted and glanced away, looking unconvinced.

The Autobot leader winced at his reluctance to accept his assertion. "It wasn't your fault."

Crimson optics flickered in surprise.

"It wasn't your fault that Bumblebee managed to get into the lab. He told me that it was the other Seekers that he got past, not you."

Starscream shook his head. "But they're _my _Seekers," he mumbled, refusing to look at him. "They're my responsibility."

"But _you're _Megatron's Air Commander. That makes them _his _Seekers as well."

Starscream's face was twisted in confusion. "But…"

"It wasn't your fault, Starscream," Optimus pressed softly.

Starscream bit his lip in thought. Optimus could tell that he wanted to believe him, to let go of whatever false guilt that Megatron had instilled in him, but something was holding him back. His entire body was still stiff, like he expected Optimus to strike him, despite the insistence that he wouldn't and he was still trembling.

Deciding that he couldn't bear to watch the Seeker suffer any more, Optimus asked, "May I touch you, Starscream?"

Ruby optics flashed minutely at the question. He stiffened—if possible—even more as he regarded Optimus cagily. For a few long nanokliks, Optimus was afraid that Starscream would refuse him, would continue to allow himself to suffer unnecessarily while the Autobot leader looked on.

However, he responded with a tentative nod, but it was affirmation enough. Optimus reached out slowly and lightly ran a finger down Starscream's upper arm. He flinched away instinctively, before it turned into a slight shiver at the gentle caress. His shoulders relaxed faintly so Optimus persisted. He wanted to touch more, but he didn't want to move in and startle the already skittish Seeker. Instead, he continued to soothingly caress Starscream's arm.

After some hesitation, Starscream moved a little closer for Optimus to have better access. Optimus wasted no time in reaching out to touch more of what he could reach. Starscream relaxed further at Optimus' touch. A few kliks later, he sent a questioning look to the Autobot leader, silently requesting permission to come closer still, and Optimus nodded. To his delighted surprise, Starscream hesitantly crawled into his lap, settling between his legs and resting his head against Optimus' shoulder plating. He looked up uncertainly, but Optimus put him at ease as he stroked the ailerons on his wings. Starscream slumped against him, optics dimming in satisfaction, and a soft contented sigh floated across Optimus' windshield.

The Autobot leader couldn't recall a time when he'd felt such a sensation of utter _rightness_. The feel of Starscream's body pressed against his, his systems humming softly in contentment, his Spark pulsing so close to his own. Small blue hands lightly rubbed at his windshield, absentmindedly playing with his wipers. Starscream looked up at him, his face glowing with peaceful delight.

_Primus, he's so beautiful_, Optimus thought as he studied the Seeker's elegant face. His soft full lips were turned upward into an easy comfortable smile, his optics glittered with satisfaction, his body was warm and vibrating ever so slightly against his own. Optimus lifted a hand to his face, caressing the head vents on his helm. His Spark panged as his finger inadvertently dipped into a dent at the side of his head. He moved to trace the line that ran from his optics to his chin, loving the smooth, pliable metal of Starscream's cheek. His optics flicked offline for a few nanokliks as Optimus stroked his face. Tentatively, Starscream leaned into Optimus' touch and he felt his Spark sing with joy.

Through no conscious effort, he removed his hand from Starscream's face and brought it to his own. The Seeker looked up, disappointed at the abrupt lack of contact. However, as Optimus flicked a hidden switch and his battle mask retracted with a soft metallic _click_, disappointment melded into surprised elation. He studied the older mech's now exposed face with such scrutiny and intrigue that Optimus felt himself shift a little uncomfortably. Starscream laughed quietly at him.

He leaned up, curiosity mixing with uncertainty, and traced the older mech's jaw structure with unexpected tenderness. Sky-blue fingers ghosted over the smooth derma-plating with interest, exploring the usually concealed face with all the thoroughness of a scientist examining a new specimen. He moved in closer, his lips hovering just millimeters from the other's, waiting, unwilling to cross that final line. Optimus closed the remaining distance between them. He heard Starscream gasp softly at the sudden connection, dark lips moving tentatively across light, hands clutching involuntarily at his shoulder plating. Starscream pressed closer to Optimus as his arms wrapped loosely around his neck. He softly returned the kiss, slowly, chastely, as if he were searching for something. Abruptly, Starscream pulled away with a shuddering breath. He looked into Optimus' optics with wonder, a bright smile gracing his lips and optics bright and sparkling with such euphoria that Optimus felt himself melt a little.

He moved in for another kiss, a bit more passionate, but with the same soft endearing uncertainty. Optimus felt Starscream's lips turn upward into a tiny smile when the Matrix bearer returned it with the same enthusiasm. The Seeker pulled him closer, deepening the kiss, and a soft whirr fell from his vocalizer. It was then that Optimus became aware of Starscream shifting in his lap. He pulled back and found that the Seeker was now straddling his hips.

"We don't have to," Optimus murmured, fingers gently cupping Starscream's face.

Starscream lightly brushed his hand down Optimus' front and whispered, "But I want to."

Optimus smiled gently at the Seeker in his lap and pulled him in for another kiss. A soft, almost Sparkling-like trill floated into Optimus' mouth at the embrace. Optimus pulled Starscream further into him, wanting to be as close as possible, to hear all those delightfully heated sounds he made, to feel the heat rolling off his cockpit, to taste that saccharine sweet metallic flavor that was purely Starscream. He could sense the quick fluttering pulse of the Seeker's Spark at such close proximity, so close to his own, but separated by several near-impenetrable layers of armor. Those beautiful, gorgeous wings that had suffered so much abuse quivered with delight at Optimus' touch. Those entrancing optics flashed with pleasure as Optimus slipped his glossa between those soft dark lips. He traced every inch of the Seeker's mouth that he could, caressing the impossibly smooth inner walls and sharp, pointed dental plating. Another glossa entangled with his, touching, caressing… _wanting_.

Muffled cries of pleasure filled the air, mingling with the faint sound of metal scraping against metal, glass against glass. Optimus' hands wandered over the Seeker's body, reacquainting himself with that enthrallingly elegant frame. His Spark twisted painfully as his fingers grazed over fresh weld lines and wounds that had not yet been sealed, but those impassioned moans that filled his mouth pushed any thoughts besides the writhing figure in his arms out of his processor. Heated pelvic armor rocked slowly against his, bringing forth the sensation of so many passionate encounters and long nights filled with their wanton cries of rapture and soft, easy words being exchanged in the afterglow just for the sake of exchanging them.

So many nights, so many encounters, and none of them could compare with right now. Passion, want, _need_, filled Optimus' processor and from the way Starscream responded to his touch, the feelings were not only his own.

Mindful of the injuries, Optimus wound his hands down the heated swell of Starscream's cockpit. He pulled back, breaking the kiss, to gasp in sensual delight. Crimson optics flickering to burgundy and dark lips quirked into a sensuous smirk and he was pulled back into another fiery embrace. Glossas twisted and tangled between them as they reached to explore the depths of the other's mouth, dipping and sliding wherever they could reach and drawing out breathy, heated moans of ecstasy. Red hips continued to desperately grind against white, the friction sending sparks skittering across their armor, and Starscream whimpered with need.

His panel slid open and Optimus felt the heat practically pour down onto his own codpiece. Starscream pulled back, pleading against his lips, "Please, Optimus, oh Primus, _please_…" He arched his back, a brief shriek of glass filled the air and Optimus couldn't have refused if he'd wanted to.

There was a soft _click _as Optimus' own panel slid back and his spike was drawn out, fully erect. Starscream positioned his hips over the stiff member and, with a licentious smirk, slowly, teasingly, impaled himself, crying out as the tip penetrated him, sliding down, feeling every inch of the spike against his slick valve until finally his aft came to rest on Optimus' thighs. The smooth inner walls of Starscream's valve pulsed erratically against Optimus and it took all of his effort to be gentle.

Starscream lifted himself up again, shamelessly wanton sounds flying from his vocalizer as he came back down onto Optimus' hardness. He continued to pump his hips, harder, faster, and Optimus matched him with the precision gained from experience. The sound of Starscream's high-pitched keening wails mingled with Optimus' deep rumbling moans, combined with the hissing of their vents and screeching of their armor as they ground together, bounced off the canyon walls, echoing in a never-ending loop of the rapturous music that was their love-making.

Overload was nearing at an obscenely rapid pace. They panted into each other, locking their lips once more, twisting and weaving their glossas, muffling their incoherent expressions of bliss when it happened.

The swell of Starscream's cockpit split straight down the middle, the orange glass sliding to the side, the F-15 pilot equipment retracting and slipping into specially made subspaces, two more thick layers of armor parting and there, beneath four levels of protection, pulsing brightly and rapidly, was Starscream's Spark. Fluttering like the wings of an organic bird in flight, a supernova of golden light spilled from Starscream's chassis, illuminating the sharp, streamlined angles of his face, dark shadows twisting and flickering in time with each beat across the sleek curvatures of his elegant veneer, painting an almost regal look. Thin tendrils of white and silver light danced gracefully across the surface, intertwining and swirling with every quick pulse of his Spark. The transparent glass casing, his Spark's last line of defense, twinkled in time with his soul, flashing with the exotic light of his essence.

Optimus pulled back to stare in shock at the Spark being presented to him. Not that it wasn't beautiful to behold and the fact that it was being offered to him touched him deep within, passion and need erupting almost painfully as he considered who this Spark belonged to. It's just that… it looked just like his. He'd only ever seen his own Spark in a reflective surface, but he recognized that the Seeker's Spark was identical to his own.

Curious, yes, and it would require further investigation, but currently, it was not exactly on his list of high priorities. Instead, Optimus asked breathlessly, fighting off the rapidly approaching overload, "You… want to merge?"

Incapable of coherent speech at this point, Starscream swooped in, stealing a passionate kiss as he nodded fervently. As his open cockpit pressed against him, Optimus felt his own Spark calling out for the other, pushing against the chamber to be merged with the one already exposed, _aching_ to be united with the golden sun that was housed in Starscream's chassis.

The merging of one's Spark with another was considered to be the most intimate form of making love known to Transformers. It expressed a trust that went far beyond casual interfacing. It was a sharing of one's soul, the most cherished and delicate possession that any Transformers was blessed with. It was said that sharing one's Spark with another was the most exquisite experience any two Cybertronians could feel. Exposing one's life force willingly to another mech in intimate situations was only done with another that they trusted completely and absolutely.

And Optimus didn't hesitate.

As Starscream swept in and pressed his lips desperately to Optimus', his chest plating retracted, his armor shifted and twisted and mirrored golden light flared out of his chassis. Starscream pulled back to see Optimus' Spark and his mouth opened in awe. His optics flashed with scarlet desire and he smiled up at him. The glass casing winked out of existence as he drew closer. Optimus followed suit, feeling the flare of Starscream's Spark energy pushing against his, swirling and mixing and creating such a numbing euphoria that Optimus felt his processor slow and reboot. He could feel each flutter of the approaching Spark. Anticipation flooded his systems. He couldn't believe this was really happening. He couldn't believe that Starscream was actually going to Sparkmerge with him.

The distance between them closed and for an astrosecond that felt like an eternity, the world dissolved in a silent explosion of blinding white light. For an astrosecond, everything was numb, everything was peaceful, everything was _right_. There was no war, no factions, no responsibilities, no pain, no pleasure. There was just them, two mechs united in body and soul, sharing the very essence of their beings.

The astrosecond passed and, in bright, vivid colors, Starscream's thoughts and feelings flashed through Optimus' optics. Memories and impressions of thoughts flared past Optimus' CPU, barely leaving traces as Starscream's attention was drawn elsewhere. He could feel another presence sifting through his own Spark, making detailed mental notes and he saw as each note sparked a new color. Fluctuations of the hues swirled and mixed, danced, twisted, in such a breathtaking display and Optimus was overwhelmed. So many thoughts, so many memories, flying past him, whirling around him, all leaving barely-there impressions without coherence and yet Optimus could follow each strand with ease.

Was this what it was like to be Starscream? To have so much vibrancy bursting through his processor, all at the same time, and miraculously managing to keep track of all of it? To have so much controlled chaos constantly swirling around him, engulfing him, shooting through him, and yet being able to harness it and create this incredible being known as Starscream?

He felt Starscream's presence shy away from Optimus' wonder, a coy light blue overwhelming the ever-changing spectrum before him. Sending a pulse of reassurance through their connection, Starscream relaxed, warm golden brown overtaking the previous azure. He continued to search meticulously through Optimus' Spark, gentle, caressing tendrils sweeping out and brushing lightly against Optimus' essence.

Curious, Optimus followed one of the many shifting strands that swept across his vision—a bright scarlet one. As he traveled along it, from the vibrancy of it, he realized that this must be a relatively newer memory. It led him down a series of swift, vivid images, violent images, of Megatron beating him, yelling at him, humiliating him. Optimus followed it, morbid curiosity driving him, watching as dark, varying shades of fearful gray engulfed him while the scene played out with vivid clarity. Optimus felt his Spark break as his phantom wings were crushed beneath ebony hands. He shivered as warm Energon spilled out around him, vibrant pink lifeblood dripping down his frame onto the hard, metal floor that he's become so well-acquainted with. He felt the optics of his comrades on him, watching him, judging him, ridiculing him, but he didn't dare look. Not while Megatron hadn't finished with him. Humiliation washed away the pain, but not the suffocating sensation of sinister justice. Beneath the hate and the fear and the humiliation was the intense burning feeling that he deserved this, that Megatron was justified in beating him, that he had disappointed him, that this was somehow warranted.

Starscream's presence froze, shame bursting forth and casting a shadow over the violent images. He pulled back, away from Optimus, blackness blanketing the originally vibrant colors of the scene. Optimus sent another soothing pulse to him, pushing as much warmth and comfort as his Spark would allow, letting Starscream feel all of it, then watching in wonder as the sensation of trust and calmness settled over him in the color of rich sapphire.

This was like no other Sparkmerge that Optimus had ever felt. Not just because of the unique thought process that Starscream possessed, but because, the few times he'd done it, it had been a brief exchanging of pure Spark energy, memories and thoughts flitting across the surface as they overloaded. It had never felt so… open before. So compatible. So _right_. He felt Starscream perk up in interest as these thoughts crossed Optimus' processor, a brief flash of curious yellow spiking through the other colors. He sensed the other presence digging around to find who else he'd Sparkmerged with, indignant red blooming forth. Optimus was flattered that Starscream was feeling slightly jealous, earning a flare of irritable crimson tinted with a softer pink of affectionate amusement.

Deciding to take a less disturbing path than before, Optimus followed a light blue tendril. It was longer than any of the others, twisting and twirling all the way across Optimus' vision and further. He traveled down it and had the odd sensation of the ground dropping away beneath him. He felt wind rushing over his nosecone, tickling the sensitive sensory net in his wings, the world rushing below him in a blur of motion, cloud water streaking across his paint and… and… he was _flying_! Exhilaration seared through his circuits as he dove nose-first toward the ground, ecstatic oranges, yellows, reds coloring his processor as he ignored the warning signs blaring through his sensors about the ground coming to meet him at an unsafe rate. But he kept going, firing his afterburners and listening as the wind howled past him at impossible speed. His sensors were going crazy, alerting him of the rapidly approaching terrain and calculating the odds of survival at this speed. Drunken excitement flooded his circuits as the ground loomed over his entire scanning range, overriding the warnings with a slight huff of irritation and, only fifty yards from the ground, he pulled up sharply, employing the air brake to slow his descent, cutting the power of his turbines in half, realigning his vertical and horizontal stabilizers, and feeling as the ground below just barely scratched his belly.

He felt heat searing through his systems, unable to tell who it belonged to, and pulled back. The vast expanse of swirling and ever-changing colors had taken on a fiery crimson. Starscream's presence was flaring against Optimus', pulsing his Spark energy erratically, desire, want, passion, need, dominating his entire being. Optimus pushed back, fluctuating his own energy against Starscream. Impassioned reds exploded through his vision and he felt his own energy pressing back against him through Starscream. The softer blues and purples had been completely subdued as swirls and tendrils of red consumed them. Optimus could barely make out the feel of Starscream writhing against him, hear him shrieking in ecstasy as well as his own cries of rapture. Chaos ensued around him, whirling and twisting and pushing against him as the combined feel of their respective overloads consumed him.

Curious flashes of lighter pink bloomed around him amidst the more impassioned red hues. As his overload reached its peak, he could make out the sensation of such overwhelming joy and affection that Optimus was awed that _anyone _could feel _anything _so strongly. He couldn't help but reflect those emotions. Starscream's presence exploded with elation as Optimus returned his feelings, white and pink overtaking the fervent red in such innocent bliss and Optimus was sent over the edge experiencing the seemingly endless expanse of Starscream's affection for him.

* * *

_My take on Sparkmerging: I don't like when it's the _**only **_form of interfacing. A Spark is a Transformers' life force and soul and when they expose it so casually seems kind of sick and perverted because, _**hello**_, it's their _**soul**_!! …'Course, then you read what_** I**_ wrote and I don't think I have much right to be calling other people perverted, but that's not the point. lol And plus, I _**really**_ wanted to write the merging scene and I'm _**insanely**_ happy with how it came out. I was afraid that it might have been too long. Was it too long? It didn't feel too long to me, but I could be wrong._

_Also, I said that merging was the most intimate form of interfacing, and, if it occurred to you, I don't consider bonding to be interfacing because it's really a one-time thing. It might not have occurred to you and you might have no idea what I'm talking about, but just in case. I want to have all my bases covered._

**Also**_, I thought it was the coolest thing having Starscream think in colors and not actual coherent thoughts because he's a Seeker and Seeker's are flighty (pun intended) so what better way to showcase their flightiness than to have them think in colors instead of articulate thoughts? I think I read that somewhere and I thought it was a frickin' awesome idea so I stole it. I wish I could remember where I read that so I could give them proper credit. _:( _My brother thought it was weird that Starscream thinks in colors because he's a robot, so I told him where he could stick it because I think it's awesome. My mom thought it was cool._

_Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter. I really liked writing it. It took longer to write than I'd hoped and it's _**way **_longer than I'd anticipated, but whatever. I hope it wasn't _**too **_long._


	11. Chapter 11

_So we got buried by knee-high White Death this weekend. It's pretty fun walking the dog because in most places it's over his head. We stayed inside and made cookies all weekend. I think I might've gained 12 pounds while I was… testing them. _:( _And, because I'm like 5 years old inside, I waged a killer snowball war against my brother and sister. And lost spectacularly, too. _

_Anyway, this was going to be the end of chapter 10, but it made it really long, so I made it it's own chapter. Plus, it seemed like a good idea at the time._

* * *

Optimus came online sometime later. A quick check of his chronometer revealed that he'd been unconscious for nearly an entire cycle. He'd apparently collapsed back against the cliff wall after he'd overloaded and was now in a surprisingly comfortable sitting position… with Starscream still in his lap. He looked down and saw the Seeker was still unconscious from their merge. He realized that his Spark's failsafe program had initiated when he'd fallen into stasis and his life force had retreated safely behind its armor walls. However, his interface equipment had no failsafe. Therefore, he was a little embarrassed to realize that his spike was still deeply implanted in Starscream's valve. As carefully as he could without waking the Seeker, he extracted himself and replaced the panel. Starscream stirred lightly against him as he pulled out and for a few tense astroseconds, Optimus was afraid that he would wake up. When it was clear that he was still deep in recharge, he reached down between their bodies to close the panel for Starscream's valve. Starscream moved again, but only to nestle his face further into Optimus' shoulder. Unconsciously, Optimus wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him closer.

Optimus studied his resting face, unable to believe how cute he looked with his optics offline and lips parted so very slightly. His hands rested lightly against Optimus' chest plating, curled into small, loose fists, knees on either side of Optimus' hips and his entire frame was slumped against the Autobot leader. His shoulder vents puffed softly as they cycled air and the almost inaudible sound of resting systems hummed around them. Optimus smiled, his expression still unhidden by his retracted battle mask. Tenderly, he caressed Starscream's face, thinking about everything he'd seen and felt in his Spark.

First and foremost was the mystery as to why Starscream's Spark looked _exactly like his_. It had to be a coincidence, but Optimus had never heard of such a coincidence where two mechs had the same color Spark. He didn't know anything about Spark mechanics and he surely couldn't ask Ratchet about it because that mech could sense a secret better than some of the spies that Optimus knew. No doubt Ratchet would want to know which mech shared the same color Spark as he had. Of the little bit that he did know about Sparks, it was that every Transformer's was a different color. He didn't know why they were that way and he certainly didn't know what it meant when they were the same.

However, he was pulled from his thoughts as he heard the soft telltale signs of systems rebooting and coming online. Starscream moaned quietly as his optics winked to life. They dimmed to a soft maroon and he instinctively huddled further into Optimus' frame, trilling contentedly as he did so. Enthralled, Optimus bent down to kiss him lightly on his helm. Starscream looked up, optics flickering in confusion, before smirking and coyly pecking him on his lips. He snuggled against Optimus' neck, sighing in apparent bliss.

They stayed that way for a while, enjoying the feel of the other's Sparkpulse so close to their own and the comforting presence of the other's body. Starscream absentmindedly drew random patterns across Optimus' windshield while Optimus rubbed the underside of his wings. He'd resituated himself so that he rested between Optimus' legs instead of straddling his hips and was nestled quite comfortably against his frame. But, every now and then, Starscream would shift, somehow managing to push further into Optimus' embrace each time. He seemed to be quite content to simply lie there and cuddle.

Optimus had never realized how… well, _affectionate_ Starscream could be. Despite all of their encounters, he would never have guessed that Starscream would even _want _to participate in post-coitus activities such as these. They tended to keep their distance after they'd finished, their soft, natural conversations supplementing physical affections. He'd never actively pursued these kinds of attentions and tended to be comfortable just laying beside him and talking to him. But, as Optimus thought about it, there had been a few times when he would catch a fleeting glance that he could only call longing as Starscream watched him in the afterglow. After all this time, had this been what Starscream really wanted from him?

Starscream seemed to crave those conversations they had when they'd finished. They would lay there and simply talk about whatever they had been thinking about or what their comrades had been up to quite recently late into the night. They exchanged so many trivial bits of information, things that no other mech, least of all Starscream, _should_ be interested in with such frivolity and Optimus couldn't believe he never noticed how much Starscream enjoyed them. From what Starscream had told him and from what he could infer, the Seeker didn't have anyone he could just _talk_ to back at the Nemesis. At least Optimus had a few close friends that he could confide in when he was troubled. Starscream had no one.

Dragging him from his reverie, Starscream murmured, "I'm sorry."

Optimus paused in his ministrations and looked down at him. His optics were dim and lost in thought as he continued to trace random patterns over Optimus' windshield. "For what?" he asked softly.

"For last month," he replied, voice equally as quiet. "I shouldn't have said all that. I didn't know that you… felt that way and… I'm sorry."

Optimus frowned. "I don't blame you for what you said last month, Starscream," he assured him. "You don't have to apologize."

"But I want to," was the slightly miffed response. "I shouldn't have said what I said, so just… say you forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive," Optimus reassured him.

Starscream pulled back sharply to glare at him. "Yes, there is. Why do you get to apologize to me, but you won't give me the same courtesy? We were both wrong and I forgave you, so do the same for me."

Optimus felt his Spark convulse painfully at the desperate look hidden beneath the veil of irritation that Starscream was pinning him with. He knew the Seeker too well to not be able to pick up on the distressed undertones of Starscream's pointed request. He must have wanted to apologize for a while now, if that look in his optics was anything to go by. Again, Optimus felt his Spark twist in its chamber as Starscream waited with anxious frustration for the Autobot leader's pardon.

"Okay, Starscream," he conceded. "I forgive you."

His shoulders slumped in relief and he nodded in acceptance before lying back down against him and resuming his irregular tracing. As his face relaxed into serene comfort, Optimus felt his own Spark settle contentedly in his chest. He was pleased that he had put Starscream's worry at ease. He hated to see his fine features marred by uncertainty.

After a little while, Starscream asked abruptly, "So… you and Elita-1?"

Optimus jumped at the casual mention of his last lover. "Well, it was a while ago," he assured him.

"I've heard from Shockwave that she's been giving him a lot of trouble up on Cybertron."

Optimus was very much aware of the contrast between the careless tone and intense optics studying him. "Is that so," is all he said, resuming his earlier caressing of Starscream's wings.

The Air Commander nodded. "There have been reports that she's been seen meeting with another mech late in the night cycle. They don't think it's political."

"Oh really?" Optimus feigned polite interest. "Well, good for her. It's about time she found someone to be with. I'm sure she'll be very happy with him. Tell your forces not to kill him. She can get pretty vicious when she's mad."

"Sounds like you know from personal experience."

"Yes, we had our… falling outs. Some of her temper tantrums could rival even yours."

Optimus failed dismally to withhold a laugh at the indignant look on Starscream's face. "I don't throw _tantrums_," he retorted haughtily. "I'm not some weak little femme who needs to throw a hissy fit when things don't go her way."

_Hissy fit,_ Optimus mused. _How appropriate_. "No, of course not," he agreed.

Starscream glared at him.

So Optimus bent down and swallowed his scowl. Starscream let out a squeak of surprise that quickly melted into a moan of pleasure. The Seeker leaned up, deepening the kiss and slid his glossa between Optimus' lips. Optimus sucked lightly on the glossa in his mouth, earning a heated groan from the Seeker. Starscream wrapped his arms around Optimus' neck and pulled him closer. Optimus slipped his own arms around Starscream's waist, his hands fanning out on his back.

However, Starscream quickly pulled back with a hiss of pain.

"Did I hurt you?" Optimus asked worriedly.

"No, it's just a fusion burn," he answered nonchalantly, grimacing as he fought the wash of pain. "It hasn't healed yet."

"A fusion burn?" Optimus repeated in shock. "He shot you with his _cannon_?"

"I… well, yes. But it was just once this time."

"_This _time? He's shot you multiple times before?"

Starscream glanced away, looking ashamed. "Can we… not talk about it?" he requested softly.

Optimus wasn't finished talking about it, but the look on Starscream's face told him that he shouldn't push the issue. His Spark clenched in sympathy at his expression and he wanted nothing more than to steal it away and hide it in the darkest parts of his processor where he wouldn't have to see it again. Instead, he pulled Starscream into him, carefully wrapping his arms around his waist, in a comforting embrace.

"Okay, we won't talk about it." Besides, the last time they'd discussed Megatron hadn't ended very well and Optimus now knew better than to press a subject that Starscream was reluctant to elaborate on.

"Thank you," he muttered into Optimus' neck, returning his affection. Starscream held onto Optimus for a few kliks, trying to fight off the wave of unpleasant memories in the soothing presence of the Autobot. A little while later, he looked up at the horizon. There was a faint glow in the east that signified the rising of the sun. "I… I guess I should go."

Optimus could tell—Primus, he could practically _feel_—that Starscream didn't want to go back. And Optimus didn't want Starscream to go back, but he didn't dare bring it up.

"I guess so," Optimus consented.

Starscream turned to look at him sadly. As had become ritual, he asked, "Same time, next month?"

"Of course," came the routine answer.

Starscream stayed in his lap for a few long nanokliks—just long enough to make Optimus wonder—before leaning in and placing a soft, chaste kiss on his lips. His optics flickered in delight at his stolen kiss. Starscream placed a fleeting hand on his chest, right over his Spark chamber, before shakily climbing off his lap and retreating a few steps. He sent a brief reassuring smile to Optimus as he activated his turbines. He climbed up into the sky, maintaining his altitude with ease and Optimus watched him until the distant shimmer that was his alt-form was swallowed by the lightening sky.

Optimus stared at the place that Starscream had disappeared for a long time. He was overjoyed that Starscream had wanted to Spark merge with him. Despite the inexplicable similarities in color, he was beyond pleased that Starscream had trusted him enough to merge with him. More than that, he was ecstatic that Starscream shared his feelings. He didn't know what he'd do if Starscream had truly believed there was nothing between them.

Because Optimus loved him.

He could finally admit it to himself. He could never deny it, but he could never acknowledge it either. But there it was. Love. And Starscream felt the same thing. He wouldn't use the same word, but he felt it. And he knew it.

It was out in the open now. They both knew how the other felt about them and all that was left to do was to wait. Something was bound to give. They couldn't hide this forever, not when their feelings for each other were this strong. And Optimus didn't expect Starscream to defect anytime soon. He was still loyal to his faction. Not Megatron, but the Decepticons at least.

Optimus cycled wearily. The sky was still dark in the west where he'd watched the night swallow the red and silver F-15 jet. A few stars shimmered against the midnight blue curtain of the nighttime sky. His optics were caught by a faint piece of falling space debris being burned up by the Earth's atmosphere. He believed the humans called them falling stars. They were quite beautiful to watch, actually, despite being space debris. And it was a remarkably appropriate name. It truly did look like a star falling from the sky, a trail of fire following in its wake, leaving a bright streak of flames as it plummeted helplessly toward the Earth, falling from grace with nothing to break its fall but relentless gravity and its own self-destructive course.

He just hoped that when his Star fell, he'd be there to catch him.

* * *

_*iz such a sap for writing that last line* _

_So… I haven't finished chapter 12 yet. *fails* Between various Christmas-related errands and the snow (_**Look**_, there's _**snow **_outside! _^^_), I haven't had any time to just sit down and write. Plus, it's not being very cooperative. But I was like, "Whatever, I'll just update now anyway." _

_Anyway, I'll get it done, promise, and happy *insert name of holiday*! _


	12. Chapter 12

_First, happy New Year to all of you! _

_Next, *iz very sad and sorry for such a late update* _T.T _*offers leftover Christmas cookies as consolation?* _

_Sorry for the late update, you guys. But, you know, Christmas and everything. I didn't have any time to write last week. *iz, again, very, very sorry* Anyway, I hope your Christmases weren't as… dramatic as mine was. But here it is, as promised, and you know what they say: better late than never._

* * *

Optimus sat in his office, a small stack of datapads on Spark mechanics that he'd managed to pinch off of Ratchet without him noticing, and he was pouring over one of their contents meticulously. He had only read through one other pad so far, but he'd mostly skimmed through that one as the language it had used had been so sophisticated and technical that he'd been completely lost by the third paragraph. This one wasn't much help either. It mostly highlighted the making of another Spark:

"_A new Spark is created after the combining of two Spark energies. When overload is achieved, if excess energy is released, firewalls will be erected to disperse the surplus power. However, if both parties involved override the firewalls with specific programming (see chapter 2), the excess energy will be stored in an extra Spark casing specially included in the femme model. Excluding Vector Sigma, femmes are the only Transformers known to Cybertron capable of carrying another Spark. The additional Spark casing is located right next to their own Spark casing and is connected to several primary Energon injectors. The maturing Spark feeds off of the energy emitted by their carrier's Spark as well as processed Energon and, after it reaches its first vorn, it is ready to be transplanted into a protoform where, over time, it will gain mass and develop its armor to become a fully grown Cybertronian."_

Optimus stopped reading, rubbing his temple—a gesture he'd picked up from Sparkplug—as he dropped the datapad unceremoniously on his desk. This wasn't helping him. He didn't need to know how Sparks were created. He skimmed through the various chapters and found that, after the initial creation of the Spark, the rest of the pad was about the raising of a Sparkling. There was nothing included about what made a Spark the way that it was.

He stood and walked the few steps to his personal Energon dispenser. He hadn't even been at this for two breems and already he was tired of researching. He found it nearly impossible to believe that Perceptor found any of this even remotely entertaining. He pressed the small switch located at the top and softly glowing pink liquid was produced into a small cube. Retracting his mask, Optimus returned to his seat, settling himself back down and taking a sip of the fuel.

As he reached for another pad, he felt a faint twinge in his Spark. It was subtle, so subtle that he barely even noticed it. Within half a nanoklik, the feeling was gone. He shrugged dismissively, thinking that perhaps it was some odd effect the Energon had on his systems and picked up the next pad.

* * *

It had been a long day. Optimus had been forced to meet with a few human politicians and military generals about the ever-present threat of the Decepticons and he had needed to give a speech ensuring their safety and that the Autobots were doing all they could to keep their enemies at bay. After that, he had to stay behind to answer various questions revolving around the intel they had gathered and the possibilities of a diplomatic solution. To which Optimus had to flounder around to put the humans at ease. He found that a diplomatic solution would be highly improbable, but the humans, naturally, wanted to hear none of it. They wanted to know that the Autobots would protect them, that they were safe and that nothing was going to endanger their way of life.

Of course Optimus wanted to work with the humans. They had been more than supportive to him and his soldiers. But, Primus, how many times could he rephrase the same response that everything was under control and the humans had nothing to worry about?

Optimus punched the code to his private quarters, feeling far more exhausted from dealing with those politicians than a fierce battle with Megatron. He had spent all day trying to maintain the façade of fearless, unflappable leader for his troops and the humans and it was wearing on him. Ironic that he dreaded meeting with the humans more than hand-to-hand combat with his most dangerous adversary. This was the part of leadership that he desperately… didn't like (because he could not hate anything; he was an Autobot and they should not know hate). At least after a battle, he had the excuse of being damaged and in need of repairs. The only excuse he could offer now was that the humans demanded far too much from him and he was not one hundred percent sure he could deliver what they wanted.

He shuffled to his berth room, not even bothering with retrieving a cube of fuel, despite the warning flashing in the corner of his vision. With something akin to a relieved moan at being surrounded by a familiar environment, he collapsed face first onto his berth, fully intending to slip into a heavy recharge and not worry about anything for at least a couple of cycles.

That was the plan anyway.

As Optimus felt his systems beginning to shut down one by one in preparation for a (_well-deserved_) recharge, there was a sudden stab in his Spark. It was only slightly more pronounced than before, offering more discomfort than actual pain. He forced himself to a sitting position, waiting until it abated. There was another brief pang in his Spark before it went away completely. As much as he desperately wanted to just lie down and let recharge take him, he couldn't help but be a little unnerved by this. His processor was suddenly alive with activity. Though his body screamed at him to force himself to relax, his mind was screaming at him to understand this new development.

He cycled wearily. He convinced himself that there was physically no way for him to understand this… whatever it was, in his current state. He managed to lie back on his berth and, after a fitful breem or two, felt the comforting embrace of recharge.

* * *

The next three orns passed uneventfully. He had still not made much progress in the way of learning about Sparks and what little he'd managed to understand had been of no aid whatsoever. He was beginning to feel quite overwhelmed and frustrated by the whole thing, wondering how much Starscream would know about Sparks. After all, he _had _been a scientist. And, if nothing else, he would at least be able to offer theories. He'd probably be delighted to put his scientific knowledge to use. Primus knew that Megatron didn't give him much free reign in that department.

Optimus was currently sitting in a routine status report meeting with his officers. He sat at the head of the table with Prowl to his right and Jazz at his left, directly across from his bondmate. Ironhide sat beside Prowl and Ratchet beside Jazz.

"Energon levels have been steady for the past few months," Prowl reported dutifully, if not a bit stiffly, "however, the soldiers are complaining that not enough is being converted into high-grade."

Optimus thought for a moment, weighing the pros and cons of increasing the likelihood for intoxication. After a few nanokliks, he replied, "Alright, increase high-grade production by two percent, but tell them to keep their consumption to a minimum. The last thing we need is a rowdy group of drunken Autobots."

Prowl made a note on his datapad and moved onto the next piece of business. "The laboratory the Decepticons attacked last week is seeking compensation for the destruction of their plasma ray."

"Compensation?" Optimus repeated incredulously.

"They believe its destruction could have been avoided if we had… 'done our job properly'," he quoted the last part from the pad.

Ironhide grunted with frustration. "It ain't like it's _our _fault!" he snapped. "If slagging Starscream hadn't gotten ahold of it, we coulda returned their fragging weapon o' mass destruction an' they coulda been happily blowin' each other up by now!"

Optimus decided to ignore this statement, as well as the swell of anger that it brought forth, and directed his response to Prowl. "Tell them that we will provide them with the materials they need to rebuild their weapon as well as offer our services in any way to repair the damage to their laboratory. Inform Perceptor and Skyfire that their services may be required."

Another note and Optimus turned to Jazz. "Did you detect any Decepticon activity down in Colombia? I know they recently made some breakthrough in energy conversion. It sounds like just the thing that Megatron would be interested in."

"That's a big N-O, Prime," chirped Jazz. "Area was all clear of the 'Cons. But we _did _manage to bring down a couple'a human traffickers that were apparently about to do business with some American customers. Believe you me, Prime, they ain't gonna be doin' business with _anyone _for a long time."

"That's good work, Jazz," Optimus commended before turning to Ratchet. "If I recall, last month you were suggesting that everyone get their virus protection upgraded?"

"That would be correct," the medic nodded.

"What is your progress so far?"

"At this point, I've gotten about eighty percent of the base upgraded to withstand the most advanced viruses that we know about and it has a sophisticated learning system to subdue the ones we don't know about long enough for me to come up with a defense against it." Optimus felt the beginnings of a lecture coming on and braced himself. He knew that whatever Ratchet had to say would be important, but he probably wouldn't understand the vast majority of it. As he predicted, Ratchet went on a long explanation about the importance of keeping up their anti-virus software, getting into the more technical aspects of it and how this new program was more effective than the previous one, and Optimus was pretty sure that the CMO started to get on him about how they were long overdue for an upgrade anyway.

Optimus made sure to nod and make affirmative humming sounds when Ratchet paused or when it seemed appropriate. After what seemed to be a small eternity, the medic seemed to be winding down from his supposedly informative speech. As he did, Optimus prepared himself to ask Ironhide about weapons maintenance when there was a sudden dull pang in his Spark. He gasped out loud at the unexpected sensation.

Ratchet paused in his explanation before fixing him with a disconcerted look and asking, "Prime? You alright?" His other officers too had him pinned with worried looks of their own.

Optimus shook his head, trying to clear it of the lingering impression. It lasted longer than the first two times it had happened. "Yeah," he managed after a few long nanokliks when the slight twinges went away, "I'm alright." It wasn't that it hurt—though it was distinctly uncomfortable—it was just that it was always so unexpected and this time made him feel a little uneasy.

The CMO studied him critically. "No, you aren't," he snapped. "You're coming with me. Now." Without waiting for an objection, he stood and beckoned impatiently for Optimus to follow him. The Matrix bearer hesitated, earning him a huff of irritation. "Look, Prime, it won't do to have our leader suddenly collapsing for no apparent reason."

"I didn't—" Optimus began, but was cut off.

"So you can either come with me to my medbay or I'll examine you right here and now." He tapped his ped in annoyance and Optimus knew that he would proceed with the latter if given the chance.

"It can wait until the meeting is over, at least," Optimus assured him.

Ratchet thought for a nanoklik before conceding—much to Optimus' surprise—and sitting back down.

The rest of the meeting passed quickly as they went over routine maintenance check-ups throughout the base and the various punishment patrols that had been completed in the past week (most of which consisted of the Lamborghini twins). As Ironhide finished giving his curt report concerning their weapons storage facility, Optimus found himself being brusquely escorted from the conference room by an overly aggravated medic.

It wasn't long before Optimus was swallowed by the clinical atmosphere of the Autobot medbay. He was ushered to one of the repair berths and Ratchet sat opposite him, looking at him seriously.

"Ratchet, I don't see why this is so important," Optimus objected. "It's just this kind of prickling sensation in my Spark. Other than the fact that I don't normally expect it, it doesn't really bother me."

"Your Spark?" the CMO repeated interestedly. "Prime, random pains in your Spark aren't exactly normal. Is this the first time it's happened?"

"Well… no, it happened two other times. Once was a few days ago and the other was sometime last week. It's probably nothing."

"I'll be the judge of that," responded the medic shortly. "What were you doing when you felt this… prickling sensation, you say?"

"The first time it happened, I was in my office, drinking some Energon." He made sure to omit the part about reading Ratchet's stolen datapads. "At the time, I thought it might have been some weird glitch the Energon had on my systems, so I just wrote it off." Ratchet scoffed at him. "The second time was when I was just about to fall into recharge and it was a bit stronger than the first time."

"What about today? Did it hurt more or less than the previous times?"

"I would say that it was about the same as the second time, in terms of discomfort, but it lasted a bit longer."

"How long does it normally last?"

"Generally, it's only a few nanokliks. But it hasn't happened often enough for me to have frame of reference."

"I suppose so," Ratchet agreed thoughtfully. "Can you think of any reason this might have started? You said it started last week. Was there anything that might have triggered it?"

Optimus considered that for a few moments and came up with nothing. "Not that I can think of." The only possible trigger might have been his merge with Starscream, but he didn't see how it was even physically possible for that to affect him. They had merged, not bonded. For what little he knew, he was certain that it was impossible for there to be any aftereffects of a merge between un-bonded mechs, negative or otherwise.

"Hmm… can you describe it?"

"Well, it's this sort of… pain, I guess? But it doesn't exactly hurt. It's more like a twinge. Like when you shut off someone's sensory net and they're left with that numb tingling sensation."

Ratchet nodded in understanding. "I'm going to take a look at your Spark to see if there's anything out of the ordinary." He stood up and went to a cart with medical supplies on it. He wheeled it over and set it next to the berth. "Open your Spark chamber and let me hook this up to it." He held two input cables in each hand which connected to a monitor. Optimus recognized it as a Spark-energy reader. He opened his chest plating to reveal his Spark to the CMO. With steady hands, Ratchet reached in and deftly connected the two cables. There was an uncomfortable pinch as the wires snapped into place.

The monitor remained blank for an astrosecond before coming to life with various lines that recorded the functioning of Optimus' Spark. One line blipped with each pulse, while another measured the amount of energy that his Spark put out. There were a few other lines that Optimus didn't entirely understand and certainly wasn't going to ask about for fear of receiving a long-winded explanation.

Ratchet studied them carefully. "Nothing seems out of the ordinary," he muttered more to himself than to his leader. "But let me bring up the readings from the last time I looked at your Spark." He briefly typed something into the computer, inputting a long and complicated password to access his medical files, and quickly found Optimus' information. He pulled it up and, on a separate monitor on the medical cart, compared it to the current readings.

Optimus knew that he might not understand even half of the scientific things that Ratchet said, but even he could tell that the readings from the last visit and his current visit were exactly the same.

"Well, I don't know what to tell you," Ratchet shrugged. "Everything looks normal. There are no odd glitches or echoes that shouldn't be there. Your Spark is as healthy now as it ever was." He raised his shoulders again in exasperation. "Physically, there's nothing wrong with you."

"I appreciate your concern for me, Ratchet, I really do, but do not lose recharge over it just for me." Optimus knew the medic's tendency to work late into the night trying to come up with a solution to a problem. He didn't want his friend to fret over him for no reason. "This is probably nothing. It will go away in time."

Ratchet looked unconvinced but nodded all the same. "Just let me know if it happens again," he ordered.

"Of course," Optimus smiled. "I wouldn't dare disobey a doctor's orders."

"Especially not mine."

Optimus chuckled at the unspoken threat. "Thank you for your concern, Ratchet. But, please, don't dwell on this for too long."

Ratchet cycled slowly. "I'll try. And in any case, 'Jack doesn't like when I put off recharge in favor of a challenge. He says it stresses me out more than usual."

_I tend to agree with him_, Optimus thought, but didn't dare say aloud for fear of the medic's wrath. Instead, he offered his appreciation once more, assuring him that, in the off chance that this happens again, Ratchet will be the first to know and headed back to his office to continue his research.

* * *

It was harder now more than ever to have to see Starscream by Megatron's side during battle, Optimus decided abruptly while the Decepticons collected their stolen Energon. He figured they would need to raid again soon. It had been several months since their last one. When he and Starscream had officially started… seeing each other.

The Seeker that currently occupied his thoughts was running a strafing run on some of his Autobots, backed up by his trine. He was too far from him to hear make out precisely what he was saying, but, from his tone of voice, he was relatively sure that Starscream was screaming obscenities at them.

And Optimus felt his lips curl into a reluctant smile. He shouldn't be so amused by Starscream's colorful vocabulary, especially when it was being launched ferociously at his troops, but there was something undeniably cute about watching Starscream lose his temper.

And he _really _shouldn't be distracted by him when he was facing off against Megatron. The silver warlord would take advantage of even a brief lapse in attention and Optimus knew that it would end badly for him. There had already been too many close calls in this battle than Optimus cared to recall solely because he couldn't maintain enough focus to block Megatron effectively. However, the time had come for the predicted call to retreat and Megatron disengaged himself from his battle with Optimus to fly off with his subordinates. As the Decepticons turned to return to their base, there was a brief shriek of pain, followed by the distinct sound of jet engines failing.

Optimus was caught somewhere between horror and elation as he heard a Seeker falling from the sky. He turned his attention to where he'd last seen Starscream, fearing that he had been severely damaged and hoping they could take him back to the Ark… when he saw the red jet was still airborne. Instead, a streak of black and purple was plummeting toward the Earth. It would appear that a late shot had scored Skywarp's thrusters—if that trail of black smoke was anything to go by—and forced him from the sky. The black Seeker transformed and was apparently desperately trying to stop his descent.

The other Decepticons were retreating as Skywarp fell, but Starscream remained where he was. From this distance, Optimus could see that Thundercracker too stayed back with his Air Commander, though he seemed torn between following the others and remaining with Starscream. Abruptly, Optimus could just make out the red Seeker folding into his root mode and rocketing at top speed toward his falling trinemate. With a speed and coordination that made Optimus' Spark skip, Starscream managed to hook his arms around Skywarp's waist and, with a flare of fire from his turbine heels, their descent slowed rapidly until they were suddenly ascending into the sky again. Thundercracker rejoined his trinemates, moving to Skywarp's other side so that the purple jet was between them, and they followed their comrades.

Optimus was utterly speechless. Starscream had just saved his trinemate, even though they had left him behind so many months ago. _Well_, he reasoned through the haze of shock, _at least he managed to save someone without harming himself_. He thought back to when Starscream had saved Bumblebee's life… and how damaged he'd been by Megatron because of it.

Starscream had disobeyed Megatron's order to retreat. And, knowing Megatron, it wouldn't be a good enough excuse to say that he had done it to save his trinemate. Starscream would, once again, be punished by his leader.

Optimus cycled dismally as his soldiers gathered around him, each expressing similar utterances of astonishment.

"Did ya'll see that?"

"Since when does _Starscream _help anyone besides himself?"

"First Bumblebee, and now _this_?"

The trip back to the Ark was filled with speculation about Starscream's new "heroic" attitude. The consensus was that it was all some sort of ploy and he'd eventually go back to the same hateful, cowardly Air Commander they all knew.

Optimus resolved to keep his vocalizer clamped tight for the entirety of the trip. When they returned, Optimus entered the medbay. Most of the other Autobots in the battle had not been damaged so Optimus was thankful to find Ratchet's domain empty, save the medic.

The CMO examined his injuries with disapproval, like it was somehow his fault that Megatron had damaged him so severely. Which, he supposed, was partially true. "Really, Prime, how did you let yourself get damaged so badly?" he chastised as he banged out a dent in his shoulder.

"I assure you, Ratchet, it was not my intention to allow Megatron to inflict so much bodily harm," he returned with a lightheartedness he didn't feel.

The CMO chuckled softly. "So… you haven't felt anything in your Spark recently have you?" he asked, none-too-subtly changing the subject.

"No, I have not. And I believe I said that you would be the first to know if I did."

"Yeah, well, you _do _have a tendency to avoid me when it comes to routine maintenance."

"This hardly seems like routine maintenance."

Ratchet huffed at him, straightening to glare directly into his optics. "It's not normal, Prime. Whatever these pains are, they are _not normal_. So you had better not be avoiding me because it's _inconvenient _for you. It could be serious."

"Ratchet, I understand why you are taking this so seriously, and I appreciate it, as I said, it's just that—"

Optimus cut himself off with a sharp intake of air. A pain significantly more pronounced than it had been the previous three times cut through his Spark, causing him to double over and clutch at the armor protecting it.

Not needing to ask what was going on, Ratchet swiftly retrieved his medical cart and, after coaxing open his leader's Spark chamber, hooked up the two cables to his chamber.

"What does it feel like, Prime?" he asked calmly as he studied the monitor displaying his Spark functions.

"It… it's like," Optimus struggled to find the words through the erratic throbs of pain, "like… someone's hitting me." As he fought through the haze, he could feel echoes of pain on different parts of his body. It was like there was some median, a shield almost, between himself and whatever was hitting him…

_Starscream_, he almost gasped allowed.

He didn't know how or why he knew that, but as soon as the thought came to him, he intuitively knew that he was right. Something in his Spark told him that what he was feeling was being broadcast from Starscream.

And it was the only explanation. By this time, the Decepticons _had _to be back at their base and Starscream had explained the reason he'd disobeyed Megatron's order and… How the Pits was this even _possible_? How could he be able to feel Starscream's punishment? They had not bonded. This wasn't physically possible!

The phantom pain continued and Optimus worried for Starscream. He didn't know how this was even feasible, but he was absolutely terrified for his lover. He wanted to reach out and pull Starscream to safety. He imagined their merge and how he'd managed to comfort the Seeker with a simple pulse of positive emotions. He assumed this connection was two-way, so if he tried hard enough, he might be able to get his message through to the Seeker. He had no idea if it worked until he felt something like shock from the other end. So Starscream _didn't _know about this. The pain lessened slightly, but Optimus could tell that it was because the Seeker was now focusing on what Optimus was sending to him.

It lasted for two more kliks when, abruptly, it stopped. The pain vanished, though there was something… odd niggling at his Spark. Not an ache, but… an emotion. Now that he knew what was causing these episodes, Optimus focused a bit harder on the sensation. It was… fear, he thought. Starscream was afraid. Even through the veil over their connection, Optimus could feel it.

He had the feeling that Starscream's punishment was over, but the fear was still gnawing at him. It nestled deep down in his Spark where he could barely even feel it anymore, though he knew it was still there. His punishment was, apparently, only over _for now_. There was still more to come.

* * *

Somehow, Optimus managed to get out of Ratchet's grasps with strict instructions to lie down and get some rest. Optimus wasn't about to argue. Of course, he spent the majority of the orn pacing back and forth in his quarters, that suffocating terror still present in the deep recesses of his Spark. Cycles passed with barely even a whisper of activity from Starscream.

He had settled himself on his berth, not to recharge, but just to attempt to calm himself when it started again.

The faint sensation of fists slamming against his frame coupled with the intense fear of what was happening overwhelmed him. Optimus could only lay there helplessly as he felt Megatron's assault on Starscream. He tried to force comforting emotions to the Seeker, having no idea if it was even working, when, after nearly an entire breem, everything stopped. Optimus sat bolt upright. That couldn't be good. What had happened? Was Starscream okay? No, of course not. No one takes a beating like that and comes out okay. But was he functioning? Optimus instinctively knew that Starscream was still alive.

But, for how much longer, he didn't know.

* * *

_First off, yes, there is a slight mention of Ratchet/Wheeljack. Even mad scientists need some lovin'. _^^ _Second, I am deathly ill with a horrible cold and now that you've finished this chapter, you're all infected too. Bwahahaha *cough cough* I just didn't want to be sick all by myself. I think having a cold is the worst because you feel horrible, but you're still capable of functioning so no one has any sympathy for you. And, in my case, my sister laughs at me every chance she gets because I'm sick and she's not. Little does she know that I sneezed on her water bottle. *insert evil laugh*_


	13. Chapter 13

_So… between having to write two and a half chapters this week and having no internet, I bring you another late update. But the good news is: I finished chapter 14 and have started chapter 15. So yay... _

_I learned a lot about myself while I wrote this chapter… and not all of it was pleasant… Just… just read it. I'll meet you at the end._

* * *

It was supposed to be a simple raid. And, for the most part, it had been. They collected their Energon and fully intended to return to the Nemesis with their fuel in tow. But, as usual, the Autobots had to show up and slow them down.

Not that Starscream particularly minded. He had been wanting some contact—even in battle—with Optimus since their merge. As of late, Starscream had found his thoughts wandering back to the Autobot leader more frequently than before, going so far as to actually _miss _him… more than before. He knew that, at their last "meeting", they had taken their—he hesitated to use the word—_relationship_ to a new level of intimacy and, while he wasn't complaining, he found his lapses in attention bordering on dangerous. A few times, he felt his mental barriers slip during his musings and was forced to push them back into place before Soundwave caught a hint of what he was distracted by.

Not to mention the fact that Megatron had been completely insufferable this month. More than usual, Starscream found himself on the wrong end of Megatron's patience for things that he, nor anyone else, could have influenced. Like the weather. After a brief reconnaissance mission that Megatron had _insisted _on attending, he had hit Starscream because it was _raining _outside. But Starscream found some comfort when he thought of his lover, feeling, on occasion, the pulse of his Spark brushing against his own. It was actually the only way he could even fall into something resembling a restful recharge.

Now, during battle, Starscream could almost feel the blue optics of his lover watching him fly. Just for him, he performed some particularly showy aerobatics as he dodged the orange fire being pelted at him. It was as close to communicating with him as he could get without being caught and he figured that anyone else was too dense to realize that he was flirting from afar with the Autobot leader.

Things had been going normally and, as expected, Megatron ordered the retreat.

That's when everything went to the Pit.

One of the slagging Autobots got in a lucky shot that hit Skywarp right in his afterburner. Starscream felt the echo of the impact across their bond and a warning flared across his processor that his trinemate was, basically, in deep slag. He turned swiftly and watched as his wingmate suddenly dropped out of the sky, a trail of black smoke following right behind him.

_Frag_, about sums up the first thing that popped into Starscream's CPU at that point.

The other Decepticons were turning tailpipe—save for Thundercracker—and heading back to the Nemesis, Megatron at the head and probably wondering what the Pit his second in command was doing, and, really, just _what _exactly was he doing? Watching his retarded wingmate drop like a rock out of the air.

_Serves him right, leave him behind, like they left _**me**_… but we're trine… Not that they've ever cared… taken prisoner… So?… interrogated… Good… Punished for leaving him… Punished for _**saving**_ him… What should I do?… Abandoned me before… Doesn't make it right… Will abandon me again… But I can help him… Why should I?… Never done anything for me… Don't help me when I need it… Leave him… Serves him right… But… I can't… I can, I _**will**_… But… _

_What would Optimus do?_

Grumbling internally as he came to this conclusion, Starscream deftly transformed and shot after his purple trinemate. Within nanokliks, he pulled up behind Skywarp and coiled his arms around his waist.

"Sc-Screamer?" Skywarp stammered, shocked, his voice barely carrying over the howling wind.

"Don't call me that," the red jet snapped spitefully into his audio. He activated his thrusters at full power, slowing their descent, and reversing it into ascension. He felt his black wingmate go limp in his arms as he fell into emergency stasis lock.

Thundercracker sidled up to Skywarp's other side, taking half of their unconscious trinemate against his frame. As they flew after their comrades, he kept giving odd sidelong looks to his trineleader. After a while, Starscream got tired of it and snapped through their private comm. _:What?:_

There was a long pause and Starscream was almost sure that his blue counterpart wouldn't respond when there came the astonished reply,_ :Just… you saved him: _

_:So?:_

_:Why?:_

_:Does it matter?: _Starscream shot him an irritated glare.

_:I… not really… but we wouldn't have done the same for you: _Thundercracker muttered, more to himself than to Starscream.

The red Seeker ignored the flash of hurt at Thundercracker's words, covering it instead with anger. _:I know that. And you didn't. But I did. So just drop it:_

Thundercracker was quiet for a while, probably thinking. He always thought when confronted by his wing leader's irrational behavior. In retrospect, Starscream really shouldn't be so surprised by Thundercracker's reaction. It hadn't even really occurred to him how this would look from an outsider's perspective. He _was_ Starscream and, as such, he was self-centered, cowardly, arrogant and just generally only interested in what would most benefit him. He was the _last _mech to stick his neck out for someone else. Much less Skywarp. Thundercracker, _maybe. _But that purple menace had caused him more frustration and processor-aches than even Rumble and Frenzy combined.

He was pulled from his thoughts as Thundercracker spoke again. _:He probably would have been okay, you know: _

_:What?:_

_:If he crashed. You didn't have to help him:_

_:Are you trying to convince me or yourself?: _Starscream returned irritably. Thundercracker didn't answer. _:And don't you think I fragging _**know **_that?: _he continued._ :But it was either save his slagging sorry aft or let him get taken prisoner and you and I both know how long he would have held out there:_

_:But won't Megatron be angry that you disobeyed orders?:_

_:He'd be angry if I let my wingmate get captured too. It's not exactly like this was a win-win situation:_

_:No… I guess not: _Another long pause. _:He's… been more unstable with you recently: _he ventured.

_:He's always unstable: _Starscream responded noncommittally. His Spark skipped slightly. Was Thundercracker getting at what Starscream thought he was?

Thundercracker continued cautiously. _:More than usual, I mean. And… it's not fair. To you. That he always blames you for everything:_

Feeling a bit lightheaded, Starscream said, _:What are you trying to say?:_

Thundercracker looked at him seriously, something that Starscream couldn't quite identify playing just below his features. _:You don't owe us anything. We've never done anything to earn your good graces. But you saved him anyway, even though we left you behind all those months ago without even _**considering**_ helping you. That wasn't fair either. You were damaged and low on energy and we just… left you to save ourselves. And by all rights, you could have—_**should**_ have—done the same to Skywarp… but you didn't. Because you're better than we are: _He paused again, allowing Starscream to fully process what he was saying. He spoke again, softly, sadly, _:You've been better to us these past few months than you had any right to be. After we left you like that… Primus, I'm so sorry, Starscream. We've been… horrible to you. Everyone has been horrible to you and you don't deserve that. I mean, you really can be an aft sometimes: _A weak attempt at humor, but an attempt nonetheless. _:But no one deserves to be the consensual scapegoat. We haven't always been there for you… Pit, we've _**never **_been there for you… and it's not right. We're trine… and I think, at some point, Skywarp and I forgot that:_

It was Starscream's turn to remain silent. For once, he couldn't think of anything to say to his trinemate. What _could_ he say to that? What does one say when their wingmate pours their Spark out to you and offers you words that you'd always wanted to hear? "Thank you" didn't seem like enough; "it's about slagging time" seemed a tad discourteous; "frag you" seemed a little more appropriate, but Starscream thought that it would kill the little bit of Thundercracker's sentiments and he'd go back to how he'd been before.

So he opted for the next best thing:

_:We're getting close to the Nemesis. I guess I'll request that they raise the tower:_

Starscream sent the command ahead and they flew in silence for the next few kliks until the rising purple tower split the sea. They slipped into the landing bay, balancing Skywarp between them and headed for the elevator that led to the main base. Starscream kept his optics firmly ahead of him, not daring to look at Thundercracker or even unconscious Skywarp. The elevator floor shuddered beneath them as it started its descent.

"Starscream?" Thundercracker pressed.

"What?" he said, though it lacked its usual spite.

"I meant what I said before."

"… I know." He turned to look at his blue wingmate, a smile ghosting the corners of his lips.

And Thundercracker realized that this was as close to an acceptance that he was going to get, but he would take it. Because it was more than he deserved.

The elevator stuttered to a halt and they stepped out, their limp trinemate hanging between them. And there was Megatron, leaning against the computer monitors, his arms crossed over his broad chest, with a decidedly smug glint in his optics. Soundwave stood in the corner, stoic, as always.

"Well, I'm not surprised that _you _disobeyed my orders, Starscream," the warlord said coolly, before turning slightly harder optics to Thundercracker. "Though, I must say, I expected better from you, Thundercracker. Not following in your failure of an Air Commander's path, are you?" His tone was mocking, with a serious edge just below the surface.

"I—" Thundercracker looked at his trineleader, obviously debating with himself about the right course of action. Either he agrees with Megatron and completely destroys the little bit of amnesty he received from Starscream, or he sides with Starscream and receives the same fate as his trineleader.

Clearly, Thundercracker was not going to give a satisfactory answer, no matter what he said, so Starscream stepped in. "I ordered him to stay behind." Thundercracker kept his face neutral, but Starscream felt him stiffen slightly on Skywarp's other side. Megatron turned almost imperceptibly surprised optics to his Second, forcing him to elaborate. "One of the Autobots got in a late shot after you called the retreat and I couldn't risk them taking Skywarp prisoner. But I knew that I would not be able to carry him alone, so I told Thundercracker to stay behind and help me carry him back to the base."

Megatron's crimson optics narrowed in suspicion. "How touching," he sneered. "First you risk your own life for that of your useless wingmate and then you defend the other's insubordination. Am I supposed to be impressed?"

Starscream scoffed at him. "I know that putting someone before yourself is a foreign concept to you, but—"

"A _foreign _concept?" interrupted Megatron, taking a menacing step away from the computer console. "Hardly. It is an _Autobot _concept. A weakness. What would have happened if you yourself had gotten shot down while trying to _rescue _your wingmate?" He answered his own question, "The Autobots would have taken _two _of my Command Trine instead of just one."

"But they didn't—" Starscream tried to object before Megatron spoke over him again.

"It was an unnecessary risk. And you disobeyed my orders to do so. I do not tolerate disobedience on any level and I would think that, after all this time, that concept would have managed to penetrate that dense cranial unit of yours. But, apparently, it has not. More than that, you are beginning to involve others in your acts of defiance. Therefore, I am forced, once again, to teach you your place." He smirked predatorily. "And, since you are so willing to put your wingmate's wellbeing before your own, I will even exclude him from this particular lesson."

Thundercracker flinched slightly, shooting a tentative glance at his Air Commander. _:Starscream, it's not fair—:_

_:It's okay. I'll be fine: _he assured his blue wingmate, his optics never leaving their leader's face. _:Just get Skywarp to medbay. I'll probably be joining him soon anyway: _

"Now get that pathetic scrapheap out of my sight before I change my mind," Megatron interrupted their silent conversation. He pinned Thundercracker with a threatening glare, his lips still pulled into a wolfish smirk.

_:I'm sorry: _Thundercracker sent, taking Skywarp's full weight against him as he shuffled toward the door.

Starscream didn't respond, keeping his optics fixed on Megatron. When the door slid shut behind the retreating wings of his trinemates, Megatron spoke again. "So, you still think you are too good to follow my orders."

"Perhaps if you gave orders worth following—"

"It was not a question," Megatron snarled, punctuating his words with a swift punch to Starscream's cockpit. The Seeker grunted, doubling over in pain, but refused to submit. "My patience for your defiant antics is quickly growing thin, _subordinate_." He grabbed Starscream's wing and twisted the aileron brutally, earning a poorly muffled cry. Megatron chuckled softly. "Never could take the pain, could you?" Quicker that Starscream was willing to give him credit for, Megatron turned sharply, sending his Air Commander sailing across the control room and crashing into a monitor. Starscream collapsed into a heap, shards of glass falling from the broken computer screen on top of him.

He stifled a groan and pushed himself to his hands and knees. Megatron was on him again, roughly grabbing him by the back of his helm and forcing him to look up. As he did, Megatron struck him with a hard fist across his face. Starscream fell flat against the ground, feeling dazed. Not entirely sure how it happened, he found himself being tossed again across the room and smashing onto the hard, unforgiving floor. He shrieked in agony as he collided with the floor, his wing crumpling underneath him on impact.

Megatron stalked over to him, a ferocious leer on his face. He dropped to one knee next to his Second, looming over him ominously. "My, that certainly looks _painful_." He accented his word with a sharp pull at the damaged wing. Starscream screeched, his vocalizer skipping and hissing from the strain.

"Megatron, stop, please!" he begged, in spite of himself. Vorns of conditioning forced the words from his mouth, leaving a nauseating aftertaste that he could never seem to get rid of. "Please, make it stop!"

"Oh, but I don't think you've learned your lesson yet," Megatron purred, twisting the injured appendage again. Starscream writhed and screamed and begged, but still the punishment continued. He grabbed at those powerful black hands, trying in vain to pry them from his wing. He batted blindly at the broad silver chest, his own weaker hands hardly making any impact. He bucked wildly against the floor and desperately attempted to pull himself away, to no avail.

And then, over the wash of pain, like a beacon of light in the night guiding him to safety, there was relief. Warm, comforting—albeit it, desperately worried and confused—feelings engulfed him and held him in a secure embrace, shielding him slightly from the pain.

_What_—_? _Starscream wondered blearily. _What is this? Have I finally snapped?_

It was so familiar. On the tip of his vocalizer. He'd felt this before, and very recently at that. It was…

_Optimus? _

He jerked in shock. Luckily, it was lost on Megatron who thought it was only a reaction to the punishment he was still inflicting. Starscream's thoughts raced frantically through his head. How was this possible? Had they inadvertently bonded at their last meeting? No, impossible, one does not accidentally bond. But what _was_ this? Definitely Optimus. But… how? How did Optimus even know what was happening? Could he feel this too? How much could he feel? Why did Starscream even have to _ask_ these questions? And…

What _was_ that odd feeling in his processor?

His Spark dropped to his fuel tanks. Soundwave. Oh Primus, he'd completely forgotten about _Soundwave_!

The blue mech stood silently in the corner, his visor flashing minutely, the only indication that he was probing through every single one of Starscream's most recent memory files.

Icy-hot panic gripped his Spark as he desperately tried to throw up his mental barriers, block him out, get him _out_! He can't know! He can't find out! But the pain in his wing mingling with the shock of Optimus suddenly being able to communicate with him distracted him. He thrashed and screamed desperately against Megatron, everything leaving his vocalizer being completely incoherent. But he couldn't help it. He could only urgently try to make the vicious probing in his CPU stop. Distract Soundwave. Make enough noise and he'll stop. He can't find out!

The almost imperceptible flashing of the red visor stopped. And Starscream went rigid.

Only one thought floated across his otherwise blank mind:

_Oh Primus, he knows. He knows everything. _

There was still pain. Warm, wet Energon was splashed across his frame from the abuse to his wing. Dents and scratches were scattered across his body. But none of it mattered. Especially after Megatron abruptly stopped hurting him to sharply glare at Soundwave. There was a brief moment of silence that Starscream assumed was filled with the Communications Officer's explanation for interrupting his distribution of punishment. Starscream noticed the sudden scarlet flare of Megatron's optics as he turned back to his beaten Second.

His face was unreadable, though there was a distinct anticipatory glint in his optic. "So Soundwave finally figured out your little secret, hmm?" He leaned in close, his face only inches from his lieutenant. He smirked when Starscream recoiled away from him. "We will discuss this later… After I've had time to decide the… proper disciplinary course of action. Until then, however, you are confined to your quarters."

Megatron pulled away from him, getting smoothly to his pedes before casting him one last smug look. "I think I'll quite enjoy knowing what you've been so intent on keeping from me for so long. And even more, the," a haughty laugh, "corrective action you force me to take." He turned away, exiting the control room with Soundwave in tow.

As the door slid shut, it promptly opened again to reveal Thrust and Ramjet, obviously his escort back to his quarters. Not that Starscream particularly cared. His entire body was violently trembling in anticipation for what was to come.

* * *

Starscream sat on his berth, pushed as far to the corner as his wings would allow with his knees drawn up to his cockpit and minute tremors working their way across his body.

_I'm going to die_, he thought for at least the hundredth time since two of his Seekers had locked him in his private quarters. He didn't even have enough in him to try and fight them off. He was too tired, in too much pain… too scared. There had always been the threat of permanent deactivation when it came to Megatron, but he had always thought that his worth outweighed his failures.

Then again, he should have known that he'd screw up one too many times eventually.

And his late night meetings with Optimus were bound to be found out in the long run.

That didn't make it any less terrifying when one had to feel the retribution for their transgression.

But… was it really wrong? What he and Optimus did? It didn't feel wrong. In fact, Starscream had never felt anything that had been so right in his entire life.

Ultimately, though, it didn't matter because he was going to die. A shiver worked its way down Starscream's spinal column at the thought. He didn't want to die. He'd never wanted to die. _No one _wants to die. But what does one do when all they have left is to think about their lives? He'd accomplished so much, but it all amounted to so little, even while he was still alive. The top of his class at the Science Academy in Iacon until he'd been forced to abandon it after the disaster that he called "Skyfire." Second in command to an entire army, though he was really little more than a glorified punching bag. Perhaps the youngest mech to ever achieve such a high ranking position in Cybertron's history, but he was on the wrong side of the war.

A lover and confidant to the most wonderful mech in the universe… who he was never going to see again because…

Starscream shuddered, bowing his head to his knees. He wanted Optimus. He felt like such a Sparkling for so desperately needing the security of his embrace, but he couldn't help it. Optimus was the only comfort he had and he wasn't about to deny himself that small luxury in his last few cycles because of his pride. He off-lined his optics, focusing on the Autobot leader with all of his Spark. Just barely, he could feel the steady thrum of the other, offering a temporary solace to Starscream's otherwise raging processor. His shoulders relaxed as he just _listened_.

There was… peace. A tranquility in sitting and feeling the faint beat of his lover's essence. He didn't know the how's or why's of it and, at this point, he didn't particularly care. Optimus was there when there was no one else. Always there for him. There to pick him up after a battle when everyone else left him, there to hold him and tell him that everything was alright, make him feel like he was _worth _something to someone, take away the pain, the fear, the uncertainty. Optimus was there, strong and steady as the pulse of the golden sun pressing against Starscream. When everyone else had abandoned him, Optimus was there.

And, when everything else went to the Pit, he was all Starscream needed.

All too soon, Starscream heard the telltale signs of someone overriding his quarter's locks. He pushed himself off his berth and pointed his null rays at the door.

_Don't hesitate_, he told himself. _You know who it is. Just shoot him. Shoot him and run._

The door slid open to reveal the bringer of his fate.

_Shoot! Shoot now!_

And he hesitated.

Megatron stepped into the room, frowning condescendingly at the raised weapons before locking the door behind him. "Now, now, this behavior is hardly befitting of one as… _virginal_ as yourself."

_Too late. It's too late._

Starscream started slightly at the accentuated word.

He smirked slightly. "Ah, yes, you are not a virgin anymore, are you?" He stepped closer, his mass taking up much of the already cramped quarters. "Courtesy of Optimus Prime."

Starscream didn't deny it. There was no point. And he wouldn't even if there was a chance that it might save his life.

"I suppose I should be angry. And I do think I have every right to end your miserable existence right here and now." He closed the space between them, wrapping a hand around Starscream's throat and pushing him up against the wall. "Because you belong to _me_," he hissed into his Second's audio.

"I belong to no one," Starscream forced out, fighting the wash of terror.

"Is that so." Megatron pulled back to look him in his optics. "I must say, I was a bit surprised when Soundwave told me that Prime was your first." He openly studied his Second's body, letting his optics say what his vocalizer wouldn't. Starscream thrashed against him in disgust, hating that his leader was so overtly gawking at him. Megatron merely pressed himself flush up against Starscream, effectively pinning him against the wall. "Though it makes sense… in your sick processor, I suppose, anyway. Keeping your chastity, _saving _yourself because Primus knows no one is good enough to bed _you_. Except Prime, apparently. And let me guess: when he touches you, does he make you feel… _loved_? Hmm? _Wanted_, perhaps? Is that all you wanted from me?" He took Starscream's face in his hand and forced him to look up, a sneering smirk on his face. "A little respect? Affection? Had I given you that, would you have behaved yourself?"

"I would never want that from you," Starscream spat contemptuously, the very thought making his fuel pump churn.

Megatron's face remained expressionless as he abruptly backhanded his Second, sending him crashing into his desk. Starscream groaned, pushing himself into a less vulnerable position.

"You'd do best to keep that vocalizer of yours in check. You aren't exactly in a position to be spouting insults, after what—or should I say _who_—you've done." He smirked unpleasantly as he approached his Air Commander. In one swift motion, he pushed Starscream back onto his desk, one hand on his cockpit as he easily kept him pinned. A silent threat from his fusion cannon stilled the struggling Seeker. "Did you really think you could keep this from me? You've done some highly treacherous things in your time, Starscream, but fucking Optimus Prime is at the top." Starscream cringed at the crude description of what he and Optimus did. "Oh?" Megatron asked. "You don't like that phrase?" He leaned down, almost lying on top of his Second. "Then what would _you _call it?"

There was silence as Megatron waited for Starscream to answer him. Though they both knew that he wouldn't.

"Well, then," he said after nearly a klik, "perhaps you'd like to defend yourself? Tell me that it was all part of some plan to single-handedly bring down the Autobots, or, at the very least, _beg_ me to spare your life." He sneered down at his subordinate. "Tell me, does Prime make you beg? Does he make you _scream_?" He laughed softly. "Who would have thought that we could both elicit the same reactions from you?" He reached out over Starscream's damaged wing. "Does he like to touch these?" he whispered, his hand hovering just over the appendage.

Starscream trembled involuntarily, forcing down the pleas trying to worm their way out of his vocalizer.

He expected pain; he expected Megatron to rip and tear at his vulnerable wing and almost cried out in anticipation as he felt a strong hand come into contact with it. Instead, shockingly gentle hands rubbed tender circles across the surface and Starscream was loathe to admit that it was actually something of a relief. He fought the urge to tremble, though this time, it was in disgusted pleasure.

Black fingers dipped into a deep gash that they'd induced earlier, causing Starscream to hiss in pain. "It hurts?" Megatron murmured into his audio. "I can make it go away. I can make it _all _go away. Is that what you want?" He cupped Starscream's face in his other hand with unexpected gentleness. "Submit to me, Starscream. Swear your allegiance to me, swear that you won't ever see Prime that way again and I may spare your life. Isn't that what you want? To live? All I want is your word that you won't ever disobey me again. That's not so much, is it?" He shifted slightly, his knee brushing Starscream's inner thigh. "It isn't too much to ask."

But it was. It was _all _too much. He wanted to live. He didn't want to die, not like this, not _because _of this. He didn't want his end to be because of the best thing that had ever happened to him. But he wanted Optimus. So much. More than he'd ever wanted anything. He couldn't have Optimus if he was dead.

But, if he submitted, he couldn't have Optimus if he was alive, either. And he'd rather die than not be allowed to see Optimus again.

"Frag you, Megatron," Starscream hissed with as much venom as he could muster in his position.

Megatron's face twitched in irritation. "Suit yourself," he snarled. His hand suddenly twisted into a claw as he raked it down Starscream's wing.

Starscream cried out, his body convulsing spasmodically as he tried to pull his wing out of harm's way. Megatron grabbed the edge of it and, spinning quickly, he threw Starscream to the other side of the room. Starscream's head collided painfully with the corner of his berth. His vision failed for an astrosecond from the impact while his gyros resituated themselves. When his optics came back online, Megatron was standing over him, his ped rushing down to stomp on Starscream's knee. Starscream shrieked as his knee joint was crushed beneath the black ped. Energon splattered from the wound, metal screeched as it caved in on itself, cables were completely severed from the upper part of his leg. The bottom half of his leg hung on by only a few cables.

A frantic warning popped up in the corner of Starscream's vision about excessive damage to his propulsion system which he almost found funny through the flood of pain wracking his body. Like he didn't know about the excessive damage? Hilarious.

With an almost primitive expression of fury across his face, Megatron grabbed Starscream around his neck and hauled him to his pedes, supporting his entire weight effortlessly. Starscream swayed in his grasp, his mangled leg hanging limply, and, as the first punch slammed into his face, Megatron let him crumple to the ground. He bent down and smashed fist after fist over Starscream's body. He jerked and cried out, trying to block the blows in vain. He felt his lighter-alloyed armor collapsing under powerful hands, Energon splattering from the wounds. Starscream's vision blanked for a klik as a fist collided with the side of his head, shattering the red protective lens of his optic. He felt the glass slicing through optical sensors and when his vision came back, he found he was blind in one optic.

For a brief moment, the fists stopped coming, but it was just long enough for Megatron to reach out and snatch both of Starscream's wings. "I don't think you'll be needing these anymore, do you?" He pinned Starscream to the floor, flat on his back, a wing in each hand and _pulled_. He kept consistent pressure on Starscream's front with his own body. At any other time, Starscream would have balked at the almost intimate position, but the pain in his wings took priority. He screamed and flailed desperately against Megatron, pushed, clawed, punched, _anything_. The strain against his wings was excruciating. The only coherent thoughts racing across his processor were, _They don't bend that way! They're not supposed to do that! _He could feel wires snapping from their rightful places, heard the straining whine of transformation seams being ripped to shreds. He screamed incoherent pleas and promises that he never intended to keep, just _anything_ to make it stop.

And then he heard a Spark-stopping _crack_ coupled with the most agonizing pain he'd ever felt. His functional optic flashed white before going completely dark. His vocalizer short-circuited as he screamed, emitting painful sparks and static that was lost in the sea of torture. Warnings flared across the darkness in blurs about system failures and Energon loss and emergency stasis lock and…

It was too much.

With a short rattling gasp, he fell into merciful nothingness.

* * *

Megatron looked down at his second in command with disgust. He was covered in his own Energon with dents and gashes marring the rest of his body. His damaged leg hung on by only a wire or two and stuck out at an odd angle and, without his wings, he looked even more pathetic than usual. Megatron held both of Starscream's wings, one in each hand.

_What ever will you do now, Air Commander? _he wondered idly as he studied his trophies.

The ailerons were crushed from where he'd held them, wires dangled uselessly from the jagged edges that still dripped with Energon, one of them was crumpled and hardly even recognizable as a wing anymore and the Decepticons brands were almost completely covered by his lifeblood.

_He always took such pride in these_, Megatron recollected, smirking to himself. _Well, now they belong to me._

He had to admit, he'd been a bit surprised when Starscream had refused the lifeline that Megatron had thrown him. Starscream had always been one to scramble after anything that had even the slightest potential to save his miserable life. Of course, he'd had no intention of giving it to him; he just wanted to watch Starscream beg for his life before he ended it. If there was one thing Starscream could do better than any of his other soldiers, it was knowing just how to wheedle his way out of a more severe punishment.

Not that it mattered now, though. He wouldn't be wheedling with anyone for a very long time.

The only question was: what to do now?

Well, he supposed, there was only one thing _to_ do. Starscream was now a liability. He held vulnerable feelings for their enemy. Protocol indicated that termination was the best route.

He could do it now. Starscream wasn't putting up a fight. That made things _so_ much easier. But somehow it didn't seem right. He fully intended to deactivate Starscream, but the question was: how? He knew that he wanted to send a message to his other soldiers about the price of treachery. And it was just so… anticlimactic to do it now.

Megatron sneered down at his unconscious second in command.

A public execution. It was perfect. He would have Hook get Starscream functional—though just barely—and, when he could stand on his own two pedes, Megatron would call a mass meeting in the control center and execute him there, wingless, defenseless… _helpless_. After all, Starscream had always been about theatrics. It seemed only fitting that he end that way as well. Show him the price of his pride. It was entirely appropriate.

Of course, it was a shame he couldn't include the Autobots. He wondered how Prime would feel, watching as his little Seeker lover was terminated right before his optics with no way to stop it. Maybe he could send him a wing instead. And then Prime could interface with that.

Megatron grimaced at the image. Prime fucking his Air Commander. It was disgusting. He always knew Starscream had poor taste.

Pushing those unpleasant thoughts from his processor, he opened a comm. link to his medic. _:Hook, report to Starscream's quarters immediately. And bring the rest of your gestalt as well:_

_:Um, what services do you require, my lord?: _the silky, insincere voice of the Decepticon CMO replied.

_:I need Starscream stabilized. And you'd best hurry up. He's not going to last much longer and if he dies now, I'm holding you personally responsible:_

_:Right away, my lord: _

Megatron cut the comm. abruptly. _Just one more thing_, he thought as he looked down at Starscream's prone form. He bent and swiftly removed the null rays from Starscream's upper arms. He smirked triumphantly. Yes, this was perfect. Only another orn or two and he'd be rid of the treacherous glitch forever.

* * *

_First, I intentionally kept the last chapter vague because I hadn't written this part yet and didn't entirely know how it would turn out. And… that's it. That's all I got to say._


	14. Chapter 14

_I feel kinda bad about this chapter because it's really super short and… well, just read it._

* * *

"He's going to kill him. You know that, don't you?"

Skywarp looked up as his blue trinemate entered his private quarters. He had been hustled out of the medbay rather abruptly by a particularly irritated Hook only a breem or two ago and was only just now settling down in his quarters. The purple Seeker stared at his counterpart for a nanoklik before answering, "You wanna be a little _more_ vague next time, TC?"

"Megatron. Is going to kill Starscream," he explained slowly.

"Well, we always think that, though," Skywarp dismissed, shuffling against his berth into a more comfortable position.

"Did you even _see _when they brought Starscream into medbay?"

"Oh, is that why they rushed me out?"

Thundercracker growled in frustration. "Would you _focus_?" he snapped. Skywarp blinked at the aggressive tone.

"You… you okay, TC?" he ventured cautiously.

"He ripped off his _wings_, Skywarp!"

The black Seeker started at that. "His _wings_?! He can't do that! What's an Air Commander gonna do without wings?"

Thundercracker gestured wildly with his hands like Skywarp had just figured out the entire point of this conversation. Skywarp fidgeted uncomfortably. "Well, what are we supposed to do about it?" he whined. "I mean, once Megs makes a decision, it's pretty hard to convince him otherwise, right?"

"Look, I don't _know _what we're supposed to do about it."

"So you came to _me_?" Skywarp attempted to lighten the discussion.

Thundercracker was not impressed. "We have to do _something_!"

"Why?"

For a moment, Thundercracker was stunned into speechlessness. "'Why?'" he repeated disbelievingly.

"Yeah, why? I mean, what did Screamer ever do for us?"

"We're _trine_, Skywarp!"

"But he's never cared about that."

"Are you fragging _joking_, 'Warp? _We're _the ones that abandoned him at every turn. We let Megatron beat him into scrap all the time. Pits, we left him behind to _die_!"

"Okay, but he's never been any better about it. Trines are supposed to, I don't know, bond or something. And 'face all the time. We've never 'faced with Screamer… So I wonder who he _does _'face with…?"

"_Focus_, 'Warp."

"Oh yeah, right. But we've never been a real trine before. He's never looked out for us like a trineleader is supposed to."

"When's the last time Megatron beat you, 'Warp?"

Skywarp jerked slightly at the question. He thought for a moment before saying, uneasily, "Well… never."

"And how many times _should _you have been beaten?"

The purple Seeker flinched. He didn't have a number, but he knew it was more than never. He mumbled, "I don't see what this has to do with anything."

"Starscream takes responsibility for you all the time. Do you know how many times he took a beating for you?"

Another uncomfortable flinch. "Okay, well… what you want to do… we'll be sticking our own necks out for him. I mean, if, _somehow_, we _did _manage to, I don't know, convince Megatron not to kill him—"

"I wasn't thinking about trying to convince Megatron of anything."

A moment to process the implications, then, "We _can't_, TC! The entire base is watched and recorded all the time. We'd get caught!"

"Starscream wouldn't even be in this position if he hadn't saved your sorry aft."

"… Is that what Megatron is going to kill him over?"

Thundercracker opened his mouth to tell him not to be so stupid when he abruptly closed it again. Skywarp actually had a point.

"Disobeying orders, yeah, I can see Megatron getting mad over that. But… enough to kill him? I don't know, TC. It's gotta be something else."

"Maybe… it was whatever he was hiding all these months," Thundercracker guessed.

Skywarp nodded fervently. "Yeah, I bet it was that. So you see? We don't even know what it was! Who knows? It might be _worth_ killing Screamer over."

"I can't believe you, 'Warp."

Skywarp wilted slightly.

"I mean, can you just _get over _yourself and be a little less selfish for once? Starscream is going to _die_. Like, _permanently_ if we don't do something about it."

He didn't answer.

"I talked to him, 'Warp. I told him how badly I felt about how we've treated him. And you know what he did?"

"He probably threw it back in your face for saying such squishy stuff."

"He defended me against Megatron," Thundercracker shot back defensively. "He looked out for _both of us _today."

Skywarp was troubled. "TC… I… I don't know. I mean, just because he looked out for us today doesn't seem the same as putting our lives on the line for him."

Thundercracker cycled wearily. "We have a lot to make up for, 'Warp."

"But we could get caught!"

"But we might not."

"Well… it's more likely that we will. And then Megatron will kill us too."

Thundercracker thought for a moment. "I don't know. I don't think he would. I mean, he'll be mad—"

"That's an understatement," Skywarp muttered.

"And he'll probably beat us to scrap, but, if he killed us, then he would be completely out of his Command Trine."

Skywarp considered that. "I don't _want _to be beaten to scrap, though."

"It's better than being dead!"

"I guess so." He cycled, putting his face in his hands. "Why do you have to do this to me, TC? Why can't you just let nature take its course? Megatron was _always _going to kill Screamer. Don't you think it was just a matter of time? But then you had to go and grow a conscience on me." He sighed again, looking up at his trinemate with a rather defeated expression. "Okay, TC. I'll help you. But I'm doing this for _you_. Not for Screamer. Because I don't think I could live with you being mad at me."

Thundercracker beamed at his trinemate. "And you said _I _said squishy stuff. I didn't know you even had it in you to say that without purging your tanks." He went and sat next to his wingmate, pulling him into an embrace and nuzzling against his neck. "I knew I could count on you, 'Warp."

"Whatever," he mumbled, contented at the feel of Thundercracker pressing himself against him. "But you owe me for this. Big time."

"I know, I know, anything you want, it's yours," Thundercracker quickly agreed, kissing his jaw line.

"_Anything_?" he repeated mischievously.

"Yes, after we get Starscream out of here, you can play out whatever perverted fantasy that's bouncing around in that pretty little head of yours."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" he exclaimed excitedly. "C'mon, TC, what's the plan?"

* * *

_Yeah, I know, you guys are probably über disappointed because this wasn't the big rescue you were hoping for, but it sets the stage for it! That makes up for it, right? _**Right**_?_

_Besides, the next chapter is just so. Friggin'. _**LONG**_. Can you say "almost 6,500 words"? I can. And it sounds exhausting. ('Cuz it was)_


	15. Chapter 15

_So, here it is. The big rescue! Hope I didn't disappoint!_

_And I lied to you guys: it's actually a little over 6,600 words. I had to fill in a couple little holes that I overlooked. *fails*_

* * *

It took Thundercracker and Skywarp nearly an entire cycle to come up with a plan that, as Skywarp put it, "has the least chance of getting us scrapped." An extra couple of kliks were wasted as Thundercracker had to, once again, explain just _why _they were doing this. After re-convincing Skywarp that they had to do this and parrying every whine and complaint that he made, he reluctantly re-agreed that he would help his trinemate. So long as he got some—make that, a whole lot—when they were finished.

"You know your part?" Thundercracker asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Skywarp grumbled.

"Come on, 'Warp, cheer up. You're supposed to be _inviting _for this part."

"I _know_, TC!" He took a deep steadying intake and, after a quick reassuring nod from his wingmate, he teleported to the control room. Sitting at the tower controls and monitors were his two favorite pranking buddies, conversing conspiratorially, as always.

It was a stroke of pure luck that these two were on duty tonight. It would have been infinitely easier if Thundercracker and Skywarp had been on duty, but this was the next best thing.

_Too bad they don't know I'm about to play the ultimate prank on them_, he thought unhappily. Swiftly changing gears, he greeted them with a bright, "Hey, guys!"

Rumble and Frenzy jumped at the sound of Skywarp's voice.

"Frag it, Skywarp!" Rumble cried as he tumbled to the floor in his shock. "How many Primus-scrapped slaggin' times have we told ya _not ta sneak up on us_?!"

"Tch, that doesn't seem very nice, considering why I'm here," he responded with false disappointment.

The Cassetticons exchanged looks, immediately suspicious. "Why?" Frenzy asked cautiously. "What _are _ya doin' here?"

Skywarp flicked his wings with barely contained excitement. "I just happened to have come across some rather…" _Slag, what's the word? _"… _potent_ substances."

"Oh yeah?" Rumble responded, crossing his small arms, clearly unimpressed. "We ain't had high-grade 'round here for smelting _forever_. Where the Pit did _you _get some?"

"I cut a deal with Swindle," he shrugged. "Order just came in. I don't ask him where he gets it."

"So ya wanna share with _us_?" Frenzy clarified skeptically. "Why?"

"Celebrate," the Seeker explained shortly.

"'Celebrate'?" Frenzy repeated. "From what I heard, Boss-bot's gonna off your trine-whatever. Doesn't seem like much of a celebration."

"Pshaw, like you care?" Skywarp said, crossing his arms.

"We don't," Frenzy assured him. "But still… why celebrate?"

Skywarp rolled his optics and gestured with his hands like it was the most obvious thing in the universe. "Who do you think Megatron's gonna make his new Air Commander?"

They shared another doubtful glance. "Never thought you were that ambitious, 'Warp," Rumble pointed out, turning back to him.

Skywarp rolled his optics again, like he was being stupid. "We're _'Cons_, mechs. We're all at least a little ambitious."

"Okay… but still… ya wanna share with us?" Frenzy repeated slowly.

"'Course I do!" exclaimed the Seeker cheerfully. "Why wouldn't I?"

Another look. "What about Thundercracker?" Rumble changed the subject. "If _you're_ celebrating, wouldn't he wanna join too? What's good for you is good for him an' all?"

Skywarp frowned at the both of them. "Primus, I'm almost starting to think that you don't _want _to get overcharged with me."

"S'not that," Rumble objected quickly.

"We just don't wanna get roped inta one'a'yer pranks is all," Frenzy agreed.

He brought a hand to his cockpit in mock hurt. "You wound me with your distrust," he declared melodramatically, feeling alarmingly like Starscream. "How can I make you trust me?"

They exchanged mischievous looks. "Show us the stuff," Frenzy said.

"Absolutely," Skywarp agreed. "Be right back." He teleported away and returned less than a few nanokliks later, balancing three small brightly glowing cubes in his arms precariously. "Here we go." He held out two of them to the Cassetticons, who hesitated.

"How do we know ya didn't do somethin' to 'em?" Rumble asked suspiciously.

"You can scan them if you want," Skywarp offered nonchalantly, "but I promise I didn't do anything to them."

"Yeah, right," Frenzy muttered, scanning the cubes for contamination. After a brief nanoklik, he said, "Well, they're clean."

"Now let's see how they taste!" Rumble exclaimed, greedily taking one of the cubes from Skywarp. Frenzy took one as well, but waited for his brother to take a sip first… just in case. Rumble downed half the cube in one drink, trembling at the taste. "Oh Primus," he moaned, "that's a good blend."

"Told you," Skywarp responded happily. "Best high-grade this side of the galaxy. Or so Swindle tells me."

"I might actually believe that," Frenzy declared after he had also indulged. It didn't take long before all three cubes were empty.

"Hope that wasn't all ya had," Rumble said.

"'Course not," Skywarp replied. "There's more back at my quarters."

"Well then, what're ya waitin' for?" Rumble cried excitedly. "Bring the rest of it here!"

Skywarp scoffed at him. "You really think I can warp all of it here?" he asked skeptically.

"Well then, take us to yer quarters," the blue Cassette suggested.

"But Boss-bot told us not to leave the control room," objected Frenzy.

His twin scowled at him. "Frag it, Frenzy, we haven't gotten overcharged in forever!"

"Yeah, but it ain't like the Boss is gonna like us goin' off ta get overcharged, though."

"Why? Does he really think Screamer's gonna go somewhere?" Skywarp replied with dark amusement. "From what I heard, he doesn't even have wings."

"I guess that's true," consented the red Cassette. "But if he catches us, we're gonna be totally screwed."

"He won't," Rumble assured him. "Skywarp can teleport us ta his quarters 'n we'll be back in here by tomorrow mornin' like nothin' ever happened! Won't be any security footage of us leavin' 'n the Boss'll never know the difference."

Skywarp suddenly pulled a face. "There's just one little problem, though: it takes too much energy to warp with more than one other mech."

"But you've done it before," Rumble pointed out.

_Slag._ "Yeah, but there's something about this high-grade that kinda messes with my systems."

He nodded in understanding, though slumped in disappointment, and Skywarp held back the urge to sag in relief. "So we're s'pposed ta walk?" Frenzy said doubtfully.

"Guess so," Skywarp shrugged. Rumble seemed all ready to march on down to the Seeker's quarters, but Frenzy appeared to be warring with the desire to get drunk and the desire not to get on Megatron's bad side. It looked like the latter was winning out. Thundercracker's advice echoed in Skywarp's head if this situation were to arise: make a subtle suggestion. "Too bad there isn't some way to make it look like you never left." Bluff. "Oh well, I guess Thundercracker wouldn't mind sharing with me." He made as if to warp away when two voices chorused a resounding, "No!" He looked at them curiously.

"I mean," Frenzy covered quickly, "I just need a klik or two to set up a quick surveillance loop and then we can go."

Hook, line and sinker. Skywarp inwardly crowed with victory. Thundercracker was so smart. He knew those greedy little Cassettes would do anything to get their insatiable little hands on some high-grade. Even if it meant unwittingly being directly responsible for Starscream's escape.

However, he needed to keep up his ignorance. "What's a surveillance loop?" he asked, optics bright with curiosity.

Rumble shook his head at the other's lack of knowledge. "It'll take some already recorded footage and play it over and over so we'll basically be invisible."

"But won't it be obvious if, like, Motormaster or someone keeps walking past the same camera?" Skywarp wondered as he stepped up to the controls to watch the red Cassetticon work.

"Shouldn't be anyone wanderin' the base at this time anyway," Frenzy said from the computer. "Besides, I'm just loopin' the cameras from here ta yer quarters. Not like it's a big deal."

_Primus is smiling on me_, Skywarp thought. This was going better than expected.

"And… done," Frenzy announced as he hit one last button. "Gentlemechs, we are now invisible."

Skywarp grinned at him, doing his best not to show just how pleased he was at his own success.

"Fantastic," Rumble commended his brother unenthusiastically. "Now let's _go_!"

The three of them headed out into the corridor. They headed to the left, toward the elevator that would take them to Skywarp's floor. To the right was the medbay that Starscream was currently residing in. He immediately opened a comm. link to Thundercracker. _:Hey, sunshine: _he greeted.

_:You on your way?: _he asked.

_:Yep. You're so smart. But do you think Screamer's gonna be happy when he finds out we raided his personal stash?:_

He heard Thundercracker sigh on the other end. _:I don't think he's going to particularly care, actually. Anyway, tell me what happened:_

_:Frenzy set up a surveillance loop from the control room to my quarters. So just take the same route we take and you should be invisible too: _He knew that his grin was evident to Thundercracker through their link.

_:You're too easily amused: _Thundercracker chastised halfheartedly. _:I managed to persuade Thrust to let you and me take his patrol shift for tonight. I'll be waiting in my quarters until you get here. And 'Warp?:_

_:Yeah?:_

_:Try not to get too overcharged. I still need what little processing power you have:_

_:Aw, TC, that was low:_

_:You're right. You've done good so far, 'Warp. I'm proud of you:_

His wings fluttered slightly at the compliment. The other two didn't seem to notice. They stepped out of the elevator and headed toward Skywarp's quarters. He punched in the access code and the door slid open. Inside, there were stacks upon stacks of identically glowing cubes of Energon just waiting to be raided.

"So what do you think?" Skywarp asked, gesturing to the copious amount of high-grade.

"I think we're gonna hafta cut a deal with Swindle more often," Frenzy said in awe. Both of their optics glazed over at the fantastic selection of moonshine that they could overcharge on. Without waiting for an invitation, they dove into the piles, their greedy hands scooping up as many cubes as they could reach.

_:Hey, TC?: _Skywarp opened another link.

_:Yeah?:_

_:This is gonna be easy:_

* * *

Thundercracker smiled at his trinemate's success as he closed the comm. link. Of course, this next part was the hard part. While Skywarp was playing host to the Cassetticons, it was his job to get Starscream out of the base. He stepped out of his quarters, directly across from Skywarp's, and headed toward the same elevator that the other three had just gotten off of. He knew which route to take to avoid detection.

The elevator stopped at the top floor. Thundercracker walked down the corridor, turning purposefully into the control room, just in case Frenzy had overlooked some cameras and slipped into the chair right in front of the monitors. He initiated the lift sequence on the tower, muttering as he did, "And there goes Thrust."

Every raising of the tower was recorded in the base-wide database to monitor who came and who went, along with a duty roster keeping track of who was supposed to leave the base. Thrust and his trine were supposed to go on patrol tonight and their shift would have started about now. Therefore, the records would show that Thrust and his trine did, in fact, leave the base when they were supposed to, even though they had not. There would be no video record of them making their way to the control room _to _leave, but no one would bother to check it since the computer had authorized this leave.

This next part was tricky. He didn't know as much about surveillance as Frenzy did and he had to undo part of the surveillance loop that the Cassetticon had installed. This way he could monitor the medbay up the hall and wait until Hook had left. They had needed to establish the loop so that Thundercracker could get to the control room without being caught because it would be difficult to explain the next orn exactly _why _he had been in the control room at the same time that Starscream had disappeared. He had considered erasing the footage of his trip to the control room from all the cameras, but it would have been too time consuming to erase it from each individual camera and there was no guarantee that the evidence would be completely deleted from the archives.

Thundercracker stared at the controls blankly for a few long moments. He had picked up bits and pieces over the vorns from Soundwave about how to infiltrate and spy on the Autobots and, more than once, the tape deck had set up a surveillance loop like the one that Frenzy had established. Slowly, the base knowledge of how to do this trickled into his processor and he began to type.

He entered in a starting location, the control room, and an ending location, the medbay, and a short list of the cameras from here to there scrolled onto the screen. The list included the name of the camera, its location in the base, the speed at which it was recording and the time of night that it was recording. Scanning through the times that each camera was supposed to be collecting, he found that, currently, all the cameras in this corridor were replaying the same full cycle of footage that they had collected only a cycle or two before Skywarp had showed up. Thundercracker went through and selected all the cameras. He typed the command to stop recycling archived footage and to begin recording now, at the current time. There was a brief flicker of the text as the instruction was processed and, as one, each camera began to collect new footage of this hallway.

Just for good measure, Thundercracker pulled up the list of cameras from the control room to Skywarp's quarters. Excluding the ones he had just un-looped, they were still replaying the same footage.

He sighed, grateful that it wasn't as hard as he'd anticipated, and pulled up the medbay surveillance. There was no camera inside the medbay for reasons that no one but Hook and his gestalt entirely understood, which made things difficult because Thundercracker was only assuming that they were still in there. Now, he just had to sit and watch the closed door of the medbay in the hopes that Hook was even in there working on his trineleader.

And so he waited.

* * *

"And _then_ he says to me, 'Mech, if-if you don't get y-your thick bolted… uh… _somethin'_ outta my face, then… then we're gonna have _words_.'"

There was a round of raucous laughter as Skywarp finished his story followed by the clinking of empty cubes being tossed carelessly onto his floor.

"Fraggin'… fraggin' Primus, 'Warp," Frenzy gasped, leaning heavily against the berth. "That's hilarious." He took another swig of his drink, moaning loudly, "This stuff has… 's got some _kick_." He accented his word with a clumsy flailing of his leg, which somehow managed to connect with a profound _clunk_ against his brother's head, resulting in Rumble tumbling to the floor, swearing loudly the whole time and landing flat on his face.

Another round of laughter, punctuated mightily with Rumble's colorful descriptions of Frenzy's ancestry.

"Hey, you sh-shouldn't talk 'bout Soundwave like that!" Skywarp crowed, wrapping his arms around his fuel tanks and doubling over in drunken guffaws.

"Slaggin' glitch-ridden rusted Pit-spawned _defect_!" Rumble howled as he pushed himself to his knees… only to have his hands slip out from under him and fall flat on his face… again.

"Oh Primus, Rumble, stop!" Frenzy cried, his vents huffing madly from his laughter. "I can't t-take it!" He flopped back onto Skywarp's berth, hooting madly.

"Wouldja, wouldja _shut up_, Frenzy!" the blue Cassette hollered, managing to get himself into a somewhat respectable sitting position. "Givin' me a processor-ache, ya glitch."

That, however, only earned him a cube being thrown at his face… and missing by several feet. "C-calm down, mechs," Skywarp slurred. "We're tryin' to have a goo-_hic_-ood time." He raised his cube. "To Starscream. For makin' all this possible."

"No, wait, I got a better one," Frenzy disagreed, positively giggling. He mimicked Skywarp and also raised his cube. "To Starscream. For havin' the nicest aft I ever saw on a mech."

"Pit yeah, I'll drink to that!" Rumble exclaimed, downing his cube fervently.

"Had a better aft than most femmes," Skywarp nodded, taking a swift swig of his fuel.

"Lucky mech that ever… g-got ta touch it," scowled Frenzy. "If there's one th-thing I'm gonna _hic_ miss 'bout the Screamer, s'that I never got inta his armor."

"Yeah, me too," concurred Rumble, reaching clumsily for another cube.

"Me too," Skywarp agreed.

They both turned incredulous—though extremely dimmed and drunken—visored optics to him. "_You _never hit that?" Rumble asked, shocked.

Skywarp shook his head. "Nope, me or TC." He shrugged. "He never… never seemed like he wanted it 'cause I'd've done him in an as-astro-somem if he asked."

All of a sudden, Frenzy started snickering. The other two turned to look at him curiously. "Hey, hey guys," he sniggered softly, like he was telling them a secret. "What if _no one_ ever hit that? Wouldn't… wouldn't that be funny if he was, ya know, a _virgin_?"

Skywarp and Rumble both chuckled at the thought. "Funny, yeah, but there ain't no way," Rumble chortled.

Skywarp suddenly paused, thinking. "Wait…" he said thoughtfully.

"Uh-oh, Frenzy, 'Warp's havin' a thought."

"Duck an' cover!"

Skywarp only frowned slightly. "If you _had _done him, wouldn't you, like, tell _everyone_?"

"Well, Pit yeah!" Frenzy cried enthusiastically, waving his cube around and sloshing Energon all over the floor. "Piece'a aft like that _an' _the second in command? Fraggin' _yes_ I'm gonna tell ev'ryone 'bout it."

"Do you know anyone that ever _did_ brag about it?" the Seeker asked.

Rumble and Frenzy both froze. "No way," Rumble gasped. "He can't be… That just ain't _fair_!"

"Aw slag, that ain't _right_," Frenzy moaned. "Nicest piece'a aft 'round here and no one… _no one_ ever even got ta _touch _it? Not fair."

"'S a shame," Skywarp said solemnly. "Dyin' a virgin. An' so young too."

"Young?" Rumble asked, looking up at him from the floor.

"Yeah," affirmed the black Seeker, lounging on his berth, careful not to crush Frenzy beneath his turbine. "Younger'n me 'n TC. Think he was b-_hic_–arely older'n a Youngling when we took him as trine. Primus, he prob'ly _was _still a Youngling."

"No way," Frenzy breathed as he sat up to look at Skywarp. "I din't know he was _that _young. I mean, I knew he was younger'n mosta th' other mechs when he en-enlisted, but still… din't really think too much 'bout it… Primus, I _remember _when you 'n Thumblercracker 'n him got together."

There was a long moment of silence as the two Cassetticons digested that new information.

"Well, that… kinda changes things," Rumble finally said.

* * *

_Five cycles_, Thundercracker thought miserably with his head in his hands and his optics locked on the monitor in front of him. _Five long fragging cycles, but at least they were in there. _

The door to the medbay had parted rather abruptly only a few nanokliks ago and Thundercracker was watching as Hook, Scrapper and Scavenger drudged wearily down the corridor to the elevator. He could see Hook, despite his exhaustion, gesturing wildly with his arms. Probably complaining about wasting already-low resources on a doomed mech and whining that his meticulous—_and flawless, mustn't forget flawless_—repairs would amount to nothing. From the expressions on Scrapper's and Scavenger's faces, he'd been at it for some time.

Thundercracker watched as they stepped into the elevator and the door slid shut behind him. He pulled up the surveillance directly outside the Constructicons' quarters, waiting until the three yellow and purple mechs slipped into their room. The door closed behind them and, just for good measure, Thundercracker watched it for an extra thirty nanokliks. It wouldn't do to have Hook's obsessive compulsive disorder kick in and have him storm back up to the medbay to finish the repairs he hadn't gotten to.

When it was clear that Hook had settled down for the night, Thundercracker reset the video loop to the medbay by recycling archived footage. Again, he supposed that he could erase the footage of him sneaking his trinemate out of the clinic, but it was so much more convenient if there wasn't any footage _to _erase.

Deciding that now was as good a time as any, Thundercracker pushed himself to his pedes and went to the control room door. He made his way down the hall to the medbay and paused outside the door. It briefly crossed his mind that it wasn't too late to turn back, to go back to his quarters and pretend that it had never even crossed his mind to perform this particular act of treachery.

But then he thought: who was he really betraying? For once in his life, he was going to do what he wanted, what he _needed_, to do and there was no doubt in his CPU that he was in the wrong.

He took a step forward and the door slid open when it detected him. _Good, they didn't lock it_, he thought thankfully. That would have made things infinitely more complicated.

Of course, he wasn't sure if it was really such a good thing as his optics focused on the form lying on the medical berth. The door slid shut behind him, but he remained frozen, his optics glued to the mangled body that had once been his Air Commander. There was a faint, erratic beeping from the machine that monitored his Spark functions and the loud, disconcerting sound of systems heaving to keep their owner online. Hook had patched the major damages as quickly as he could to avoid Starscream falling into permanent stasis lock and it looked like quick work, despite the medic's reputation.

Once again, Thundercracker found his optics wandering back to where his wings had once been. Jagged stumps stuck out from where they used to be with ugly patches over the openings to stop the bleeding. Thundercracker felt the inescapable need to purge his tanks. He flung himself over the waste receptor and retched the entire content of his tank. Trembling, he turned back to his mutilated trinemate.

He'd only caught a quick glance when they brought him in. He'd just wanted to visit Skywarp—who, apparently, had not even _been_ in medbay when he went to see him—and the Constructicons forced him out of the way, Starscream hanging limply between them. He had only barely noticed that his wings were no longer there, not having time to see how bad it was. Up close, it was infinitely worse than anything he could've imagined.

_Primus, Starscream, what did you _**do**_? _Thundercracker wondered as he forced himself to draw nearer. He'd never seen him this bad off. At least, Megatron had never torn off his _wings _before. Thundercracker shuddered, realizing that Starscream was probably still awake when they'd been ripped off. He didn't even want to think about how much that had hurt.

He cautiously disconnected the various machines that were monitoring his body functions—and desperately hoped to Primus that they weren't the only things keeping him online. His Spark almost stopped when he unhooked the Spark-monitor and there was a deafening monotone, signaling that his Spark had stopped. He cycled, steadying himself as he realized that Starscream was still functioning, just that the machine was no longer connected to him. Once he'd detached the assorted wires hooked up to him, as carefully as he could, he slipped an arm around Starscream's shoulders and under his knees. Thundercracker cringed when he saw that one leg was barely hanging on. Like he was dealing with a fragile piece of equipment, he lifted Starscream from the table.

_Primus, he's light,_ he thought fleetingly. Of course, Thundercracker was just grateful that he didn't fall apart in his arms.

He turned and headed toward the door. After a quick check up and down the corridor, Thundercracker stepped out of the medbay and went in the direction of the control room. He kept checking to make sure Starscream's leg hadn't fallen off, the thought made him shudder involuntarily. The control room slid open at his presence and he made his way to the tower controls. After depositing Starscream gingerly in one of the chairs, he went to a communications monitor, bypassing the one that had probably been destroyed by Starscream's body, and called the only ones who might entertain the idea of helping him.

The Autobots.

A few tense nanokliks passed when the screen remained blank, save for the one sequence printed clearly across the top of the monitor: _Initiating connection…_

Thundercracker slumped in relief when the screen cleared to reveal the face of one of their sharpshooters. "Er…" Thundercracker said, realizing that this might be harder than he thought.

"Oh hi there!" the Autobot began. "Seems a bit late to be calling us, don't you think? But why _are _you calling us? I mean you're a Decepticon and we're Autobots and it doesn't seem very appropriate for you to call us for a midnight chat, but if you think about it, you haven't actually said anything other than that kind of stupid sounding 'er'—which isn't a very good way to start a conversation, by the way, you really need to work on your manners, but you _are _a Decepticon so it's not like you really do manners anyway—of course that's not really the point though, is it, because you called us which means you want something, but if I remember correctly you aren't really an officer, are you, so you couldn't be wanting to make some kind of deal with us and…"

_Maybe if I hang up and call again, I'll get someone else_, Thundercracker thought hopefully. _Or, more likely, he'll still be talking and won't even have realized that I hung up on him._

"… but then Ratchet told me that I had to be quiet because you're not supposed to talk during surgery—"

"Look, I'm kind of in a hurry," Thundercracker interrupted. The Autobot stopped mid-sentence and stared at him, mercifully silent. "Just let me talk to your Prime."

"Oh, no can do, I can't do that, it's not my authority to do that, but I really don't know what I'm supposed to do in this situation anyway because Decepticons don't normally call in the middle of the night and I've never had to deal with this so I guess Prime really is the best choice isn't he because he'd probably know what to do, so I guess I'll just get him and let him deal with this and just give me a minute and I'll—"

The screen went blank as the Autobot put him on hold. "Thank Primus," Thundercracker groaned, sinking into a chair. He didn't know how much longer he'd be able to stand that little chatterbox.

He turned his attention to Starscream who, as expected, had not moved. Thundercracker scanned him briefly, just to make sure he hadn't off-lined during his exchange. He hadn't.

Thundercracker sat for a few kliks, waiting for the screen to do something other than tell him that he was currently on hold. He was getting edgier by the klik and wasn't sure how much longer he could stand the tension. Part of him wished Starscream would wake up so he could talk to him, but then again, he didn't think he _could_ talk to Starscream in this condition. He considered calling Skywarp, but chances were that his purple wingmate had off-lined himself with the high-grade and he and the Cassetticons were passed out on the floor in his quarters.

Finally, the masked face of the Autobot leader appeared before him. Even with the mask, though, Thundercracker could tell that he was frowning. Behind him was an Autobot of the same model as the one he'd spoken to earlier, their tactician.

"Thundercracker, correct?" Prime asked. The Seeker nodded shortly, ignoring the surprise he felt that Prime would bother to know his name. "May I inquire as to why you have contacted us?"

Thundercracker sighed. "I just… I need your help," he mumbled. "I know you don't have to lend it and believe me when I say that I wouldn't ask unless I had no other options, but, as it is…" He trailed off, letting the rest speak for itself.

"'Help'?" he repeated. "What sort of help?"

"Prime, I hope you aren't seriously considering actually _assisting _them," the tactician warned. "This is obviously some sort of setup."

"No, it's no setup," Thundercracker quickly assured them. He looked over to where Starscream was. "Just… take a look." He stood up and wheeled the chair his trineleader occupied in full view of the monitor.

Prime's optics widened in shock. "Oh Primus," he muttered. The tactician was even taken aback. "What… what happened to him?" Prime asked hoarsely, his optics trained on Starscream.

"Megatron," Thundercracker responded shortly.

"And you want us to take him in?" the Datsun inferred skeptically.

"Megatron is going to kill him," explained Thundercracker.

"Since when do Decepticons care about their own?"

"This isn't about factions."

"What do you need us to do?" Prime abruptly asked.

Thundercracker was shocked at how easily Prime was convinced. In fact, the Autobot leader hadn't even looked away from Starscream since bringing him in front of the screen.

"Prime!" the tactician exclaimed, just as astonished by the sudden turn of events as Thundercracker.

"Prowl, look at him," Prime said quietly. "Do you really think they would go to such extremes just to set us up?"

"Maybe not, but wouldn't it be best for us if Megatron _did_ kill him?"

Prime turned incredulous—and was that just a hint of anger?—optics back to his tactician. "It is our duties as Autobots to help a mech in need."

"But we're not just talking about _anyone_, Prime. This is _Starscream_ you're considering helping."

"But just think about the information he could give you," Thundercracker put in. They both turned to look at him. The tactician seemed to consider that.

"How do we know that he'll give it to us?" he queried finally. "This isn't his choice. He might consider himself a prisoner of war and refuse to tell us anything."

Prime looked doubtful. "I don't think so, Prowl. I think he will tell us whatever we want to know."

Thundercracker studied the Autobot leader. He noticed how blue optics kept flickering almost worryingly back to Starscream. "Prime," he said evenly. "This is the only chance he has. As soon as he comes back online, Megatron is going to kill him. He has nowhere else to go."

There was a faint crease between his optics as he thought about that.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked finally.

"I—" Thundercracker began before cutting himself off. "It seems like the right thing to do," he shrugged. "He doesn't deserve to die like that. Whatever the reason Megatron has to kill him isn't going to be good enough, no matter what it is. And… well, there are some more personal reasons that I hope you won't mind if I keep to myself."

"Of course not," Prime agreed softly. He sighed quietly, his optics sliding to settle sadly on Starscream. "Would it be possible for you to leave the base?" he asked after a moment, still watching the red Seeker.

"Yes, but I don't know how far I'll make it with Starscream in this condition," Thundercracker answered. "I can send you the coordinates to a nearby island. It's just outside the base scanners so you won't be detected." Thundercracker typed in the coordinates to the suggested meeting place.

Prime nodded. "That's good. I'll send Skyfire and Ratchet down to pick him up. We'll be there in about a breem." Prime went to cut the link, but not before Thundercracker caught an incredulous look from their tactician. They were probably going to have a long discussion about Prime's decision.

Thundercracker looked down at Starscream, considering. Why had Prime kept looking at him like that? And why had he been so quick to help him? Was it possible that he had something to do with this?

No, there was no way. Starscream would never do that. He was still loyal to the Decepticons. He wouldn't sell them out to the Autobots, no matter what they offered in return. Prime was probably just being overly sympathetic.

Though there was just a small part of his processor that wasn't entirely convinced.

He shrugged. There were more important matters at hand. Thundercracker stood, stretching his joints, and activated the tower control. He then went to Starscream and lifted him carefully from his chair. He made his way to the elevator that took him up to the landing bay and the door slid shut behind him. His knees buckled slightly as the lift began its ascent.

He found his optics being drawn back to the vacant face of his trineleader. A weary sigh left his vents while he stepped onto the landing bay after the lift stuttered to a halt. He hoped that Starscream would stay in one piece for this trip. Once he was in the Autobots' custody, he would be safe. He just needed to stay together for a little while longer.

Thundercracker took one final intake before activating his thrusters. There was no turning back. He couldn't just replace Starscream in medbay and pretend he'd never wanted to do this in the first place. Too much had already been uncovered for him to just idly turn away in Starscream's moment of need. This needed to be done, the cost be damned.

He took off into the night and, with the coordinates in place, Thundercracker banked east, toward their meeting place. He held Starscream securely against his cockpit, just barely able to feel the stuttering beat of his Spark and the heat of his body in contrast with the cool night air. He knew that there was a possibility that the Autobots might take him prisoner—they had made no promises that they wouldn't—and he was okay with that. At least he had left Skywarp with an alibi so that he couldn't be tied back to this. It was the least he could do.

The island appeared beneath him and he dropped altitude. There was a large clearing in the forest that he landed in. With his and Starscream's energy signatures, it wouldn't be too hard for the Autobots to locate them. He just hoped they wouldn't make him wait much longer. The sound of systems struggling to stay online pulsed around him and he didn't know how long Starscream would be able to survive without medical attention. Hook had done a good job (from what he could tell) patching Starscream up and getting him stable, but Thundercracker didn't know what the natural elements would do to him.

Not daring to set him down on the muddy ground, he paced nervously back and forth with the red Seeker dangling flaccidly in his arms. He kept murmuring Cybertronian prayers that Starscream would stay alive and that the Autobots would come. Five kliks had already elapsed, plus the five that it had taken for him to get there. Combined with the initial end of the conversation, it had been a little longer than a breem. And he was getting increasingly nervous. He hoped that Prime hadn't taken his tactician's concerns to Spark about this being a trap. Starscream wouldn't survive the trip to the Autobot base if they stood him up.

_Finally_, _fragging _**finally**, Thundercracker thought mercifully as the subtle roar of shuttle engines reached his audios. His scanners told him they were coming in from the north and they were only about twenty miles out. They would be there within the klik.

Thundercracker turned his attention to the northern sky, waiting until the piercing white form of the shuttle flew over the clearing that he stood in. He watched as Skyfire's landing gear unfolded beneath him and he touched down only thirty yards from him. The side door slid open, a ramp extending from it, and out came Prime himself. Thundercracker was more than a little surprised that the Autobot leader saw fit to personally come. He'd thought that when Prime had said "we", he had meant that he would be there in spirit or something, not that he was actually physically going to come. Their medic stood behind him, waiting impatiently for Prime to move.

Prime approached Thundercracker slowly, his optics locked on Starscream the whole time. "What do you want for him?" he asked once he was within a respectable distance.

"This isn't a prisoner exchange, Prime," Thundercracker assured him, though that was an odd thing for Prime to say. It sounded like he was ready to give just about anything for Starscream. "I just want you to take him."

"Primus, he's worse off than you let on, Prime," the medic muttered, studying Starscream from behind Prime. "He needs serious medical attention. Like _now_." Apparently, their medic didn't hold the same discrepancies for aiding Starscream that their second in command had.

Prime nodded. "May I?" he asked, holding his arms out. Thundercracker nodded and took a step forward. Carefully, he exchanged Starscream from his arms to Prime's. And, by Primus, if Thundercracker didn't know any better, he'd say Prime was holding him almost _lovingly_. "Thank you," he murmured to the blue Seeker without looking up from the red one. "I… appreciate this. More than you know."

And then, everything suddenly clicked into place. Starscream's weird behavior, his ecstatically _happy_ behavior, since he was left behind; his unexplained, routine absences; Prime's odd looks during their exchange; the way he currently held him.

Oh Primus.

The Autobots turned away to board Skyfire again when Thundercracker said, "Prime?"

He turned to look at him from the doorway, Starscream draped lifelessly in his arms and the medic tapping his ped impatiently from the interior.

"Take care of him."

Blue optics widened slightly in surprise, before there was a slight nod of his head and the door slid shut in front of him. Skyfire took off into the night and Thundercracker waited until the blipping on his radar faded away completely.

He cycled wearily. It had been a long night and it was going to be an even longer day tomorrow. But Starscream was safe. He had no doubts about the medic's ability to put Starscream back together and Prime… Well, he was a mech of his word and he'd done a good job taking care of Starscream so far.

Thundercracker shook his head. If he hadn't seen it with his own optics… Primus, he _had _seen it with his own optics and he _still _couldn't believe it. Starscream and Prime… Prime and Starscream.

_Better than Starscream and Megatron_, Thundercracker decided. That was more levels of wrong than he cared to count.

Thrust's patrol shift wasn't supposed to be over for another two cycles, which, Thundercracker decided to borrow a phrase he'd heard from Skywarp, sucked mightily since he couldn't return to the base until it was over to avoid suspicion. But he had a lot to think about. Those two cycles would pass by quickly and he could take a nice long recharge in his quarters after—oh wait, no he couldn't. There were only three cycles, including the two that he would be "patrolling", until that orn's shifts began and he had a double shift of actual patrols.

He supposed he was luckier that Skywarp in that regard. At least he wouldn't have a horrible, splitting ache in his processor the whole time. Well, it wouldn't be high-grade induced anyway.

But no matter how trying his day would be tomorrow, it was nothing compared to what Starscream's would be like.

* * *

_I hope this was everything you had hoped for. I tried _**SO **_hard to cover all of my bases, but I'm still desperately afraid that I forgot something. Gah! *rips hair out*_


	16. Chapter 16

_Sorry for the late update. Fanfic wanted to screw with me for a while and wouldn't convert my document. But it's all okay now. _

_Anyway, __you guys are going to be so frustrated with most of this chapter. I can already tell. _

* * *

"Here, put him down right there," Ratchet instructed, pointing to a vacant medical berth as soon as he and Prime entered the Autobot medbay. Immediately, the Autobot leader gently laid Starscream down on the table.

Skyfire, standing near the door, asked, "Ratchet, is there anything I can do to help?" His ice-blue optics lingered on the prone form of his former friend.

"No," he said bluntly as he arranged his medical instruments. First Aid slipped into the room, standing near Ratchet and waiting for instructions. "What I need is for you two," he gestured to Prime and Skyfire, "to leave me alone and let me work. 'Aid, I need you to look in that drawer over there and get out my wire cutters." He moved to connect the Spark monitor to the Seeker when he saw Prime still hovering near the door. At least Skyfire had taken the hint. "Prime," he snapped, pausing to glare at his leader, "there's nothing you can do for him or me other than get in my way. Now out!"

That should have been enough and, in most cases, it would have been. The CMO's word was law when he was in the medbay. However, Prime continued to linger uncertainly near the door, his optics glued to the Seeker on the berth.

"Never thought you were one to doubt my abilities, Prime," he accused.

"No, it's not that," the semi assured him. "Just… it looks bad."

"Well, I don't know _how _bad it is because you won't leave me to work in _peace_."

It looked for a moment as if Prime was going to respond when, abruptly, reluctantly, he nodded and turned to leave. Ratchet huffed irritably as the door slid shut behind him. Really, there was virtually nothing that he couldn't do in his medbay, as he'd proven time and again. Since when did Prime suddenly question him in this department?

He shook his head, dismissing the issue. First Aid had already prepped a station for him to work at and was welding some minor gashes along the Seeker's chassis. He moved to Starscream's side, inspecting him with his medical scanner to see where the more serious damage was. More to himself, he muttered, "Well, at least he's stable, but he's lost a lot of Energon. Apparently their poor excuse of a medic didn't bother with refueling him." He began hooking up various machines up to the damaged Seeker to monitor his functions. "Primus, his energy levels are at fifteen percent and dropping fast. 'Aid, emergency Energon feed. His self-repair systems are trying to kick in and they don't have sufficient energy to compensate for the damages."

First Aid nodded, swiftly going to retrieve the automated Energon dispenser. Ratchet located the port to his fuel tanks and waited impatiently for the Energon feed. It came and he promptly hooked it up. Almost immediately, Starscream's energy levels slowly, but steadily, began to rise. Ratchet just hoped that the majority of his wounds were sealed off or else it would cause quite the mess when the Energon was processed. He did a quick check to make sure that the fuelling was going smoothly, then, satisfied, began making a list of the things he would have to do to get Starscream somewhere close to functional.

He examined the readouts on the monitor of Starscream's CPU. "There's a lot of damage to his helm, but all of his vital processing components are steady. Basic processing functions are stable; major damage to his radar and other navigating equipment; optical relay down by nearly eighty percent; communications system and transformation sequence are completely deactivated. A few memory files were corrupted, but it doesn't look like anything serious. More than likely he'll just have a slight amnesia of the incident. Whatever it was."

Ratchet had no doubt in his mind about who had done this. Starscream might be an irritating glitch on his best days, but he could admit that the Seeker was good at what he did and wasn't second only to Megatron for no reason. He just wondered what had caused the Decepticon warlord to snap and beat his Second to the edge of his life. And why he hadn't gone further.

_Any life lost in this war is a tragedy_, he chided himself. _Even Starscream's_.

First Aid continued to seal off the damaged armor and Ratchet moved to the next machine, the Spark monitor. "Hm, the pulse is faint, but it's keeping him online. A bit fast, even for a Seekers'. Probably a byproduct of diminished Energon reserves. No damage to the laser core. That's good. Energy frequency is… what?" Ratchet moved closer to the screen, even though his optics were reporting one hundred percent capacity. "That can't be right."

First Aid looked up at him curiously. "What is it?" he asked.

"Probably a glitch," the CMO answered shortly. He rebooted the system and waited for the monitor to display the correct readings. The screen came back, only to report the same thing. Ratchet frowned. This data looked startlingly familiar. "Hold it, 'Aid. I want to see something." He moved to the CPU monitor and overrode the firewalls that kept Starscream's Spark securely behind its armor walls. Two levels of armor shifted back to reveal the Seeker's life force. Ratchet stared at it, stunned.

"Ratchet? Are you okay?" First Aid asked nervously.

"Impossible," he gasped. _The color, oh Primus,_ he thought in shock. "It can't be."

He practically flung himself in front of the Spark monitor and pulled up another set of records. Side-by-side, the Seeker's Spark readings and the other set matched completely. The electromagnetic field of each Spark, the temperature they operated at, the thickness of the laser core, everything besides the individual pulse rate.

"Oh Primus," he muttered.

He looked down at Starscream, considering. It just didn't make _sense_. They've been enemies for _vorns_. But… it was all here in front of him, clear as day.

"'Aid, do you think you can repair him on your own for a little while?" he asked.

"I can, yes, but why?" returned the Protectobot.

"Because I need to have a chat with our leader," he nearly snarled. "Keep him stable, repair the more serious damage and, for Primus' sake, alert me if he so much as _twitches _funny." After a brief nod from his assistant, Ratchet turned toward the door and stormed out, getting his trusted wrenches ready.

* * *

They were arguing again. Prowl had been against the rescue from the beginning and he was giving Optimus an audio-full now. Not that Optimus could blame him.

"I strongly suggest at least having someone on guard outside the medbay," Prowl insisted. "Even if this isn't some setup, Starscream won't understand why he is in our base to begin with. He might panic."

"The medbay is under close watch, Prowl, that much I can assure you," guaranteed Prime. "And I agree. I do think that perhaps having someone posted outside the clinic would be in everyone's best interest." _Less friction that way, too_, he silently added.

Prowl nodded, satisfied with that answer. "And, of course, once he comes online, we will lock him up in the brig until we are certain that he is legitimate."

"No," Optimus objected at once. Prowl opened his mouth to ask why when his leader cut him off. "He is not our prisoner, Prowl. We did not capture him during battle; we brought him here to protect him. It would not help us to lock him up as soon as he is online and make him feel like he is trapped here. He will not cooperate with us if we do that to him. We need to make him feel like he is safe here."

"Then where will we put him?" Prowl asked.

But before he could answer, the door to his office parted abruptly to reveal the almost fuming face of his CMO.

"Ratchet?" Optimus said curiously, though a bit taken aback by his expression. "Is he awake?" He tried to keep the eagerness out of his voice.

However, the medic did not answer. Instead, he turned to Prowl and all but ordered, "Out." Prowl was more than a little surprised by the instruction and remained where he was. Though, after a silent threat from the ambulance's optics, the tactician decided that perhaps it was in his best interest to leave.

When the door slid shut behind him, the medic immediately advanced on his leader. He planted his hands on the desk and brought his optics level with Prime's. "Just what," he hissed, "were you _possibly_ thinking?"

Optimus stared blankly at the medic. "What?" he blurted, unable to think of anything more substantial to say.

"Don't play dumb with me," came the snapped reply. "You know _exactly _what I'm talking about. How long were you planning on keeping this a secret?"

"Ratchet, I… I don't know what you're talking about."

"Do I have to fragging spell it out for you? How could you not know?"

"I—"

"You're slagging _bonded_ to _Starscream_!" he shouted.

There was a long silence after that, permeated with sharp puffs of air from the medic's overheating systems. Optimus sat, staring uncomprehendingly at Ratchet, shock overtaking his processor. _Bonded? _That didn't sound right. That _couldn't _be right. But why would Ratchet even tell him that if he didn't have a reason to?

Ratchet waited impatiently for a response, any response, from the semi. "Well?" he snapped. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Optimus looked blankly at him, trying to come up with something that seemed even remotely coherent. "We… I… Ratchet… We didn't… we never bonded," he managed.

"What the Pits do you mean you never bonded?!" he yelled. "I saw his Spark data, Prime, and it matches your _exactly_. That only happens in the case of _bondmates_, which, apparently, you happen to be!"

He shook his head as he tried to wrap his head around that. "We…" _Oh Primus_, he thought suddenly. If he wanted to get out of this with all of his limbs intact, he was going to have to tell Ratchet everything. _Everything_. "Ratchet…" He cycled, thinking up where to start. "Starscream and I… did interface… a couple of times." He almost stopped at the look of apoplectic fury drawn across the medic's face, but forced himself to continue. "And… we did merge… once, but… we didn't bond. Or, at least, we hadn't intended to bond."

"You fragging merged with a Decepticon?" he shrieked, throwing his hands in the air and stomping around the office. "How _could _you? And _Starscream _of all mechs? What were you _thinking_? Why would you do that? Did it even cross your _mind _how undeniably, slagging _stupid _that was? He could have killed you for all we know! What if he had retrieved some highly classified information? Didn't you ever stop to think that he was just _using_ you? And don't be ridiculous. You can't be bonded if you hadn't intended to do it." He made as if to continue his tirade when he froze, thinking about that. He backtracked. "You… you never bonded?"

Optimus shook his head.

"So then, how…?" The medic trailed off, his anger forgotten as he followed some train of thought. After nearly a klik, unknown to Optimus, he repeated, "Impossible." He looked back at Optimus. Despite the thoughtful countenance, Prime knew that the anger was still in there, but was subdued in favor of gaining some answers. "You say you merged, but never bonded?"

Prime nodded.

"When?"

He thought for a moment. "I suppose it would have been about a decacycle ago."

"And the pains in your Spark; they started right after?"

"Well, a day or two after, yes."

It looked as if something clicked into place in the medic's processor. "Prime, when you were in my clinic yesterday, you said that it felt like someone was hitting you." Optimus nodded again. "And, only a few cycles later, that Seeker called us to take Starscream in. You must have been feeling the same thing that Starscream was feeling."

Optimus didn't respond.

Ratchet studied his optics carefully. "You knew then what you were feeling, didn't you?" His tone was carefully neutral.

"I… yes, I did."

"But you didn't tell me?" It appeared as if the medic was about to gain some more momentum for another seething diatribe, but Optimus quickly intercepted him.

"Ratchet, I already saw how you responded after I told you that Starscream and I… have seen each other. How would you have reacted then had I told you that we had merged?"

"Point taken. But I'm still mad about it."

"I know you are." Optimus sighed dismally. "And I suppose everyone is going to have to know eventually."

"I don't envy you for having to break that news."

Optimus tried to smile, but it was mostly half-Sparked.

Ratchet watched him carefully. "You really care about him, don't you?"

"More than you can possibly imagine."

Ratchet cycled an intake softly. "Well, you said you hadn't bonded with him and yet you can still feel the same things he does."

"It was sort of faint though."

"I may have a theory for you. It's… it's a long shot," he admitted, "but it's the only explanation that I can come up with. Same Spark readouts without being bondmates, sharing feelings after you only merged. It makes sense, though I sincerely doubt that anyone will believe it without some serious cast iron proof and I definitely need to do some more research into this if it's true."

"So what is it?"

* * *

Optimus sat at his desk, stunned. Whatever he had been expecting, it most certainly had not been what Ratchet had told him only a few kliks ago. He supposed that it made sense, though he was almost positive that Starscream would be among the most vehement skeptics. It simply went against everything that he believed in.

"Prime, you okay?" Ratchet asked softly.

He only nodded. He didn't trust his vocalizer to say anything.

"I know this is… a lot to take in and, if I hadn't seen it for myself, I wouldn't believe it either. I trust you when you say that you and he didn't bond. But… I do want to know why you merged in the first place." He crossed his arms over his chassis, expectantly waiting for an answer.

Optimus sighed, trying to compose his thoughts in spite of the bombshell that Ratchet had dropped on him. "It… it started a few months back, about seven months ago. The Decepticons were trying to steal an energy converter and they left Starscream behind after Sunstreaker shot him down."

"Ah, yes, I recall Prowl being more than a little upset with you after that battle." He paused, thinking. "Though I don't think he ever said why."

Optimus cycled as the memory came back to him. "Well, I offered to help Starscream, to get him functional, and was going to let him go back to the Nemesis instead of taking him prisoner."

"So, in payment for helping him out, he offered you his body," Ratchet inferred.

Quite incorrectly, actually. Immediately, Optimus was on his pedes with his optics flaring dangerously. "Absolutely not," he snapped, making Ratchet jump a little at the venom in his voice. "He offered me _information_."

Ratchet had the decency to look at least a little discomfited by his assumption. "Then, how…?"

Prime sat back down in his seat, composing himself. "He told me that I could have anything that I wanted and I… wanted him, but was willing to just take the information. He sort of insisted that I… interface with him if that was what I really wanted."

"Why?" Ratchet asked suddenly.

"Why what?"

"Why did he insist that you interface with him?"

Optimus furrowed his optic ridge at that. "I don't really know. He gave me a relatively cryptic answer when I asked him and I never brought it up again."

"Ask him again when he comes back online," Ratchet instructed. "It could help me understand your… situation."

Optimus acknowledged the order before asking the question that had been plaguing him since Thundercracker had handed him Starscream in that clearing, "Do you know when he'll be back online?"

The medic thought for a nanoklik. "It's hard to say. His injuries are… extensive. His right thruster will basically need to be rebuilt as well as his optic. We'll need to get a new cockpit and a set of replacement wings for him." Optimus cringed at that. "Don't worry about the physical damage. His processor and Spark are mostly undamaged. He'll be fine, physically, when he comes back online… but I don't know how much psychological damage he suffered."

Optimus felt his Spark contract painfully at that. "What sort of psychological damage?" he asked, despite not wanting to know the answer.

Ratchet huffed an intake wearily. "Seekers take great pride in their wings. It is… unthinkable for them to be without them. It signifies being grounded, trapped. And to have them removed in such a brutal manner…" He trailed off, letting Optimus infer what he could from that. The semi only shook his head sadly. "I suppose we could ask the Air Force for an extra set of F-15 Eagle wings. But then there is also the problem that, as you've probably noticed, Starscream is smaller than the average Seeker. When he took on his Earth alt-form, his programming fitted the wings to his body specifically. It is highly likely that the new wings will cause him severe discomfort. With the size difference and the extra weight, it might be easier to just build a custom pair for him."

Optimus nodded, his optics dimming sorrowfully.

The CMO watched him carefully. "I hope you aren't blaming yourself for what happened," he immediately chastised.

Prime looked up, surprised.

"There was nothing you could have done to stop this from happening. At least he's still alive and he's here now, with us. Chances are he's not going to go back to the Decepticons, so stop fretting about things outside of your control."

"But, maybe if I hadn't—"

"Prime," interrupted the medic, "the only thing you could have done was to not interface with him in the first place. And would you really want that, knowing what you do now?"

"No." The answer was immediate.

"There, see? I'll get him up and functioning at maximum capacity in a few days. Tomorrow, I'll put in an order to the Air Force about those wings, just in case he decides to use them, and a replacement cockpit. We can deal with the fallout after I get him online. And, if it makes you feel better, think of it this way: once I give him the okay, you can 'face each other senseless whenever you want." Ratchet smirked deviously at him, adding, "Primus knows you need it."

Optimus chuckled softly at that. "Thank you, Ratchet, for being so… understanding about all this."

He shrugged dismissively at that. "Well, we're due for a good scandal around here anyway."

* * *

Ratchet had been working on Starscream for nearly six orns. Six very long, very exhausting orns. He had explicitly informed the others that if anyone, for any reason, injured themselves and were in need of the medic's attention, then they would have certain _fun_ body parts welded painfully to something that was decidedly not. And had a lot of horsepower.

Too bad he had never thought of that threat before because his medbay had never been so deserted. Not even the Twins had dared to incur the medic's wrath in favor of maintaining function over their phallic attachments. The only one who had immunity from that particular fate was Prime. And he was certainly making use of it. Unless there was some pressing political matter or drama in the ranks that absolutely needed his attention, the rest of his free time was spent hovering on one of the vacant medical berths, intently watching Ratchet work on his… lover.

Ratchet still shook his head at the thought. He supposed that, given their _unique_ situation, he couldn't blame Prime for the way that he was acting. The medic would probably react the same way as well. It was just _who_, exactly, his leader was fretting over that sort of bothered him. It just didn't make sense. Well, it did, but only in a rather twisted, ironic sort of way.

_I guess Primus really does have a sense of humor_, Ratchet thought sardonically as he connected the last few nerve receptors on Starscream's new cockpit.

His order to the Air Force had come in the day before, but Ratchet had needed to finish rewiring the cables that would be hidden beneath the canopy before he attached it. Apparently, when the glass had shattered before, it had sliced through the underlying circuitry and the majority of it had needed to be replaced completely. Fuel lines, most of them, and, though he never planned to tell Prime this, it was probably a good thing that Megatron had done what he had to Starscream. The fuel lines had been patched before—from previous encounters with the warlord, most likely—but, over time, the patches had nearly worn through and corroded due to constant repairs and low quality Energon. The Decepticons' stolen fuel was, apparently, not of the same quality that the Autobots' was. It would only have been a matter of time before the hazardous chemicals from the tainted Energon had completely eaten through the thin coverings of his primary fuel lines and he would have bled out with almost no warning.

Now, though, with brand new fuel lines pumping Energon to his systems, he was stable and running more efficiently than ever. However, there had been a bit of drama shortly after the replacement of his lines. Not used to having untainted Energon sustaining him, Starscream's systems had started to reject it. With some quick thinking on Ratchet's part, he had overridden the warnings and fail-safes in the Seeker's CPU and confirmed that the new Energon was nontoxic. His fuelling had been smooth from then on, though his consumption was still running faster than normal. Which was about right. His systems were still adjusting to the new fuel and the replaced parts.

Ratchet had reattached Starscream's mangled leg, though he hadn't been able to repair his thruster. He knew enough about Seekers' and their builds to _fix_ their propulsion systems, but not enough to completely rebuild it. The leg had been a bit simpler. It was just a matter of removing the crushed metal, stripping it down to the protoform, replacing the knee joint and rewiring the nerve receptors to his ped. Ratchet had rebuilt limbs before and the Seeker's was no different.

The optic was the same way. Considerably more delicate than the leg had been and in need of significantly more concentration so as not to sever a vital optical receiver, but, while tedious, it wasn't too much of a challenge. However, there had been some extra ocular attachments in the socket that Ratchet had never seen in any of the Autobots. After doing a quick diagnostic scan on the computer, he found that they were designed to boost the Seeker's visual acuity and enhance his reaction time once something had entered his field of vision. Seekers were known for their incredible reflexes and it all led back to their highly advanced optical relay.

The only problem that Ratchet had faced with Starscream's optic was the lens. Since all Autobots had blue lenses, there was no practical need to have any other color—namely, Decepticon red. Therefore, Ratchet had been forced install a blue lens over Starscream's optic sensors.

Prime had been a bit shocked to see mismatched optics on the Seeker's face and Ratchet had offered to take out the red and replace it with blue as well, but Prime had said that he wanted to see what Starscream had to say about it. Personally, Ratchet liked it.

The systems that had been forced to shut down, namely the navigation systems and his comm. link, had been a bit of a challenge as Ratchet had never dealt with Decepticon software before. It had taken a while to reconfigure the programs, but he had managed. However, on Prowl's instructions, he had temporarily disabled Starscream's comm. While Ratchet had no doubt that Starscream would not use it, it would have been difficult to explain _how_ he knew that to the second in command and he and Prime had already decided that they would keep the others in the dark for the time being, so he kept his vocalizer shut and did what he was told.

The medic finished Starscream's cockpit and turned away to put the few tools he had needed in their proper places. For once, Prime had not yet made an appearance in his clinic today. He was, apparently, extremely busy. He was about to comm. him to let him know that the Seeker's repairs were complete and that he planned to bring him online when his attention was drawn by the sudden beeping of the CPU monitor. Processor functions were spiking erratically, which signified only one thing.

_Hm, he's going to try it himself_, Ratchet thought while he watched the monitor closely. _This should be interesting_.

There was a short burst of static from his newly repaired vocalizer—Ratchet had barely even needed to touch it as his self-repairs systems had fixed it for him—and a brief flicker of the conflicting optics. A soft groan, a fleeting grimace of pain and Ratchet activated his comm.

_:Prime? He's awake:_

* * *

There was light. Bright, blinding, painful light. The pain was brief though and now there was the floating sensation. Like flying. No, not like flying. Flying was fast. This wasn't fast. This was immobile. Not moving. Going nowhere. Waiting, maybe? For what? Someone? Something? Maybe it was the light. Another chanced look. Nope, still bright, still painful. Where was he? What was going on? Why was he just floating here? Why was it so bright?

…

Ah yes. Megatron killed him. He was dead. So where was he?

_The Matrix?_

There was a noise somewhere above him. Like someone talking. To him? Only one way to find out.

_Am I in the Matrix?_

Another sound, a little louder, a little clearer and less garbled. Definitely someone talking. But who? And what were they saying?

_Where am I?_

A response. The words were clear, though a bit distorted, faint. _Didn't you hear me the first two times? _the Voice responded. And it sounded kind of irritated.

_No. Are you Primus?_

_Don't be stupid._

… Not Primus? Still didn't say where he was. Damn that was frustrating.

_So this isn't the Matrix…?_

_Of course not._

Very slowly, the light started to dim and he could just make out a heinous orange ceiling above him.

_The Pit?_

_You're getting warmer._

Wait, orange? Autobots liked orange.

_Makes sense, me being in the Pit. Suppose I should've guessed that first._

_Probably._

What were those tools over there? Medical tools? Medbay, maybe?

_Ironic, though, that it looks like an Autobot medbay._

The Voice huffed irritably. _Prime said you were supposed to be smart_, it snapped.

_Optimus is here? _Surprised. Did Megatron get him too?

_He's on his way._

_To the Pit?_

… _Sure._

_Why?_

_To see you._

_He'd do that for me? _Flattered. Optimus was coming to the Pit for him? Didn't know he was that devoted.

Another puff of air. _I suppose it's only fair to tell you that you're not dead._

_Of course I am. _Indignant. He knew exactly what happened. He was there. The Voice wasn't.

_No. You're not._

_Yes I am! Megatron killed me._ How dare that Voice tell him that he didn't!

_No, he didn't. I didn't just spend the last six orns repairing your sorry aft to have you convince yourself that you're dead._

"…What?" His voice cracked and hissed with static as the word croaked out of his vocalizer. Had he been speaking the whole time? That was troubling.

There was a flash of white in the corner of his vision and a blurry shape stood just beside him. He could just make out little bits of red here and there, though the details all bled together.

"Can you see me?" the shape asked.

"I… sort of." Primus did his voice sound horrible… Worse than usual. "It's all kind of blurry."

"Hm… might not have calibrated the optics right. Is it getting better?"

Slowly, he could begin to make out the individual limbs of the figure next to him. "Yes."

"Okay, so you just need to get used to it."

"I'm alive?"

"Yes, you are alive." A face, older than he would have expected, came into view with a mildly amused expression. But that could have just been his optics fooling him.

An almost drunken giddiness swept through his processor. He was _alive_! Despite everything, he'd managed to come out with his life. But there was one thing missing.

"Where's Optimus?"

"I told you: he's on his way."

"When?"

"When will he get here?" He nodded. "Soon. He said he was already on his way before I called him. I believe he was overseeing one of Wheeljack's inventions up the highway. He was only twenty or so miles out."

A nod. Curious—or just to make sure that he could—he tried to move his own limbs. He managed to get a piteous twitch out of his fingers and a feeble wobble from his left ped, but at least he could move. And hear. And speak. And see.

"You're the medic," Starscream stated after a moment.

It wasn't a question, but the CMO answered like it was. "Yes."

Starscream searched his memory banks for the name. He knew that Optimus had mentioned it a few times. What was it? "Hatchet?" he guessed.

There was a snort—though of laughter or indignation he couldn't tell. "Like I've never heard that one before."

"You fixed me."

Again, it was not a question, but there was a softening of the medic's expression as he answered anyway. "Yes, I did."

"Why?"

"Because it was the right thing to do."

This time it was Starscream's turn to snort a derisive laugh. He was beginning to feel less groggy and more like himself. "Autobots," he sneered, though it lacked the offense that it normally would have had.

"You're welcome," returned the medic coolly as he turned away to finish cleaning up his medbay.

Starscream stared at his back for a few moments, unsure what to say to the CMO. Instead, he turned all of his attention to the medbay door, willing with all his Spark for it to open. He was aware of a movement in the corner of his optics, but didn't turn. After a half a klik, a relatively amused voice broke him out of his trance.

"You know, staring at that door isn't going to make him get here any faster."

Starscream took a brief look over at the medic only to see him smirking knowingly at him. It was a bit disconcerting. Made him feel like he was missing something. "Well, you aren't exactly a connoisseur of conversation. I need to keep myself occupied somehow."

"I wasn't aware that you wanted someone to trade wit with."

"I wasn't aware that you could keep up."

Starscream felt a flicker of satisfaction at the indignant look on the medic's face. But before the CMO could respond, he was interrupted by the soft whooshing of the medbay door. Starscream's optics immediately darted to the door and there, silhouetted slightly against the lights of the corridor outside, was Optimus. He couldn't help himself and tried to push himself up onto his elbows. Had he not felt so weak and uncoordinated, he was sure that he would have jumped off the berth and run into Optimus' arms like a Sparkling.

Optimus saved him that journey as he strode briskly across the medbay and planted himself on Starscream's berth, his optics locked on the Seeker's the whole time. Immediately, Starscream reached out and took hold of Optimus' hand, desperately needing to feel some contact, _any _contact, from his lover. "Starscream," he murmured, gently stroking the Seeker's cheek with his free hand. "How do you feel?"

Unable to coherently express himself, he just reached out with his other hand, indicating that he wanted Optimus. The Autobot leader bent and scooped Starscream up into his arms. He pulled the Seeker into a sitting position as he embraced him, nuzzling him softly with his facemask. After the brief wash of disorientation from the sudden change in position passed, Starscream buried his face into Optimus' neck, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and pressing as close to him as he could. Through Optimus' windshield, Starscream could feel the comforting beat of his Spark. The Spark that had given him just a bit of courage when Megatron was going to kill him. That had allowed him a shred of integrity to not forsake his feelings for Optimus when Megatron had given him that chance. Starscream pressed closer, drinking in the warmth and comfort of Optimus' body and soul.

"I'm glad you're awake," he said softly into the Seeker's audio. "I was… worried about you."

Starscream only nodded against him. He was perfectly content to just lean against his lover and slip into a deep recharge, until his lull was broken by the soft tinkling of medical equipment being shifted around. Ah, yes, the medic was still here. His back was to them, but Starscream had no doubt that he knew what was going on behind him. Quietly, he asked Optimus, "He knows?"

Optimus nodded his head.

"Good." He pulled back to look up at the semi who only gave him a puzzled look. "So I can do this." He fumbled around with Optimus' facemask for a nanoklik until it slid back with a soft _click _to reveal the other's face. Without bothering to wait for Optimus to say anything, he leaned up and pressed his lips firmly against his lover's. After a brief moment of hesitation, Optimus kissed him back passionately, moaning softly into the other. Starscream slipped his glossa between silver lips, reacquainting himself with the inside of Optimus' mouth. They went undisturbed that way for nearly a klik.

"Really, just because I know what you two do doesn't mean you can do it in my medbay," Ratchet interrupted, obviously deciding he'd had enough. "Primus, do I have to get a hose? Like fragging Younglings, I swear."

Optimus pulled away, reluctantly, though a bit sheepishly and Starscream only glared at him.

"Don't you dare give me that look. I'll have your head welded to your aft before you can even say 'circuit plug.'"

Starscream's optics flashed at the threat, surprised. It had been a while since anyone besides Megatron had threatened him and sounded like they could pull it off. He found himself grudgingly impressed.

However, he turned his attention back to Optimus. "What happened?" he asked. "Last thing I remember was—" His vocalizer hitched at the memory before he shook his head and started again. "How did I get here?"

"Your wingmate, Thundercracker, contacted us." Starscream's optics flickered at that. "He said that Megatron was going to kill you if he didn't get you out of there."

Starscream glanced away to stare at some wicked looking piece of equipment on the counter. Thundercracker had saved him? Had he actually meant all of those things that he said before? Primus, what would compel him to risk his own life for Starscream's? "Sentimental idiot," he muttered halfheartedly. "So he brought me to you?"

"Yes, we met at an island just outside the scanning range of the Nemesis."

"And you didn't take him prisoner?"

Optimus exvented softly. "Not for what he was doing for you."

Starscream looked up at him, a surprised look on his face. It still felt odd to have someone—much less Optimus Prime—worrying about his wellbeing. He shook his head again. "What… what happened to my wings?" He knew the answer. Or, at least, he could infer what the answer was. But he was more concerned with how he was going to get them back than how he had lost them in the first place.

Optimus and Ratchet shared a quick look before the former turned to him. "They were gone when you got here."

Ratchet added, "There was some leftover equipment in your wing joints that I had to clear out. Some severed wires and ripped metal. I removed the damaged parts so that when we get you another pair, we can attach them with little difficulty."

Starscream found it hard to speak as he asked tightly, "And… when can I expect a new pair?"

"Well, the Air Force sent us these," Ratchet replied, and Starscream thought he detected a hint of uneasiness. He went to a large closet and, after coding it open, pulled out two large, bulky, _gray _sheets of metal.

Starscream stared at them with disgust. "What am I supposed to do with _those_?"

"They _are _wings," Ratchet informed him irritably. "What do you _think_ you're supposed to do with them?"

"Might as well strap some scrapped sheet metal to my back for what those are worth," he sniffed disdainfully, turning pointedly away from the offending sight in Optimus' arms.

"We figured as much," Optimus agreed. "Ratchet thought it would be best if he were to design a custom pair for you."

Starscream looked at Ratchet, sizing him up. "I think not," he announced.

Ratchet bristled. "And just _why—_?"

"Please. I wouldn't trust you to build a pair of Seeker wings with the schematics plastered to your optics. I'll do it myself." A bold move to suggest something like that. It was assuming that he would have the freedom to carry it out.

Ratchet and Optimus seemed to pick up on it as well as they both shared a tentative look. "I suppose we could allow that," Optimus said slowly, "after we've met with the others about this."

"Well," Ratchet reasoned, "I know why they wouldn't want him to have free reign of the base, but it's not like they can really say 'no', considering—"

However, he cut himself off after a sharp look from Optimus. "Prime, you have to tell him sooner or later," Ratchet snapped impatiently.

Starscream looked between them, suddenly having that sickening feeling that he was missing something vitally important. "Tell me what?" he asked slowly.

Optimus cycled quietly. "Starscream, when Megatron was… hurting you… did you feel anything… odd?"

The Seeker started slightly. "I… well, sort of, I guess."

"Can you tell me what it was?"

Starscream opened his mouth to tell him when he abruptly closed it again. "It was stupid," he dismissed uneasily. "Probably nothing. Just a trick of my processor or something."

"Starscream…"

The Seeker looked up at Optimus and, Primus, when he used that endearingly earnest voice and looked at him with those maddeningly reassuring optics, it took everything he had to just not spill his entire Spark out to him. "Just…" He glanced almost nervously over at Ratchet, afraid that the medic would think he was crazy. Crazier than he already thought he was. "I thought I felt…" He took a steadying intake and finished, "you."

Optimus and Ratchet looked at each other again and Starscream felt, if possible, even more uneasy than before. What were they keeping from him? What did it mean? Why did they keep looking at each other like someone had died?

Finally, Optimus turned to look at him; a steady blue gaze of his optics that calmed the Seeker's fraying nerves.

"Starscream," he said softly, "you and I are Sparkmates."

* * *

_Whoa! Boo-yeah! Guess who's been planning that since—wait for it—chapter 2! Of course, you can't really fully appreciate it until you've read chapter 17! _^^


	17. Chapter 17

_Guess who got buried by 30 inches of snow this weekend. Seriously. It's up to my hips. Everywhere._

_On topic though (sort of), I realized that I totally based Ratchet off of my grandmother. _XD

* * *

The silence that followed Optimus' declaration was deafening. Starscream stared up at Optimus, his optics revealing nothing of the turmoil streaking through his processor. The quiet was only broken by the soft humming of medical equipment and the puffing of their vents expelling air.

Finally, Starscream managed a weak, "Sparkmates?"

Optimus nodded slowly.

The Seeker tried to wrap his mind around it. "But… that's impossible," he breathed. "Sparkmates aren't real. It's a… a recharge tale that Creators tell their Sparklings."

"Well, lucky for you, I've been doing my homework," Ratchet said. "And Sparkmates _aren't _just fairytales. There has been a whopping number of _one _other case involving Sparkmates and I just happen to have that file." He started typing in the computer. "Unfortunately, there wasn't really a whole lot to go on as no one had ever seen this before, but there was just enough to diagnose you two." On the Spark-monitor at the side of the berth, Ratchet pulled up a set of records. "You see, the recharge tale that you mentioned says that there is one mech or femme out there for everyone that they are destined to be with, that they share the same Spark. That's only partially true. First of all, not everyone has a Sparkmate. As I said, this is an incredibly astronomical event if there's only one—now two—recorded happenings of it. Now look, these are your Spark functions. Take a good look at it." Starscream did. He studied it all down to the minute echoes of his Sparkpulse. Ratchet started typing again. "And these are Optimus' Spark functions." On the monitor next to it, another set of records showed up.

"Impossible," Starscream gasped, physically jolting away from the screen. Optimus calmly rubbed his spinal column.

"Not exactly," disagreed the CMO. "When a Spark is first created, it functions at a specific electromagnetic frequency. That frequency is determined by the amount of photons that your Spark emits, which determines the color. It's a lot like a star, in that regard. All stars release a certain level of energy and, depending on the level, the star gives off a specific color. It tends to range from red to blue, with varying shades in between. The majority of Cybertronian Sparks follow the same pattern and, as you can probably infer, there is an almost infinite number of Spark frequencies that one can function at. However, in rare cases—_exceedingly _rare cases—two Sparks will come online and emit the _same _frequency of energy. This results in, for lack of a better term, Sparkmates."

Starscream continued to stare at the data, dumbfounded. "But… this is the same data that bondmates give off," he deduced slowly. "How do we know that we didn't accidentally bond?" Even though he knew the absurdity of his statement, he couldn't help holding onto that small piece of hope.

"Er… you're probably not going to like this," Ratchet admitted. "First of all, I've been reading Prime's Spark data since the beginning of the War and, from what he tells me, you weren't even online at that point." If Ratchet was surprised by that information, he didn't show it. "His Spark output has been exactly the same since before we left Cybertron and, even though I don't have your records, I'm going to assume that it was the same for you. Second… well, you _can't_ accidentally bond… in most cases."

Starscream's head shot up. "What?" he demanded, his voice shooting higher as he began to panic. "What do you mean, 'in most cases'?"

Ratchet looked at Optimus for confirmation to keep going. The latter nodded shortly so the former explained, "You see, when two mechs that aren't Sparkmates bond, it is actually a process. Granted, the initial act of bonding their Sparks gets the process rolling, but it takes a while for their Sparks to operate at the same frequency. Their Sparks literally have to change the amount of energy that they release to synchronize with the other, which allows them to share thoughts and emotions through their link. The amount of time that it takes to bond completely depends on the differences in the electromagnetic frequency and each Spark settles on a same new frequency in the middle. The process is called 'bondmerging.' It's like Sparkmerging, but it is far more intimate than just sharing Spark energy."

The Seeker was shaking his head again in denial. "But we _Sparkmerged_!" he protested. "We didn't… how did…"

"I know that you probably _intended _to Sparkmerge, but since your Sparks were already operating at the same frequency… your systems recognized it as a bondmerge instead."

There was a moment of silence as Starscream put that together. Finally, he all but shrieked, "So we're bonded?!"

Optimus cycled quietly as he continued to attempt to soothe the Seeker.

"You have… started the process, yes," Ratchet affirmed softly. "Since it was not your intention to bond, your Sparks are still separated by at least one key firewall, which is why you were able to share only exceedingly powerful emotions. To bond fully, you have to lower _all _of your Spark's defenses. So instead of having a clear link to the other, your connection is still faint and undefined. However, now that it has been established…" He trailed off.

Starscream was trembling in Optimus' arms. Incoherent flashes of thoughts seared through his processor as he tried to make sense of it all. "But… wouldn't our Sparks be the same color then?" he managed, looking desperately for anything to say.

"They are," Optimus murmured. Starscream looked up at him with wide optics. "Look." He opened his Spark chamber to show Starscream his soul. Even such a casual showing had the Seeker's Spark crying out to be reunited with the other. Starscream hesitantly allowed his cockpit to slide back as well.

Ratchet came over to him with a mirror to show him what his Spark looked like. Starscream stared dumbly at the mirror as he watched his own Spark flutter wildly in its casing. There was no denying that they were identical.

"Wouldn't… we have known?" Starscream muttered finally, after he had hidden his Spark behind its armor walls once more. "That we were Sparkmates? If our energies are like bondmates, wouldn't we have known that we were…?"

Ratchet nodded slowly. "There is a good chance that you would have had an idea about the other. I doubt you would have known exactly what it was. More than likely, it would have been something like an underlying attraction to each other than a conscious awareness of the other." He paused, looking curiously at Optimus, a thoughtful expression on his face. However, he did not pursue that train of thought and continued, "You wouldn't have fully understood your… situation until you had merged your Spark energy. Like I said, you can't bond unless you hadn't meant to," Starscream made a disbelieving noise, but Ratchet ignored him, "and, my theory is that if you hadn't merged, then you never would have even become aware of your situation."

"So… does this mean we have to bond?" Starscream asked quietly.

Optimus and Ratchet shared a considering look. "It would probably be difficult not to," Optimus answered him, equally as soft.

Ratchet nodded his agreement. "The more that you Sparkmerge, the stronger your connection will become. However, if you bondmerge, if you let all of your Spark's defenses down, then the process will be complete."

"But we don't have to," Optimus said, "if you don't want to."

Starscream looked up at him and he knew that Optimus was just a little hurt by his less-than-enthusiastic reaction. "I… it's not that I don't want to…" Starscream quickly assured him.

"I don't want you to feel pressured," Optimus told him. "If you aren't comfortable with it—"

"It's not that," Starscream interrupted. "Well, it is… but it's not you. I mean, I _do _want to be bonded to you… eventually. It's just… I need to think about this."

"Of course," Optimus conceded. "Take as much time as you need. I'll wait for you."

Starscream felt a flare of joy at his words. He'd wait… for _Starscream_. He wouldn't try to force him into it, despite their unique circumstance. He wouldn't push him or hurry him to make a decision. Those steady azure optics told him more than the words ever would. Optimus was so patient and Starscream knew he'd wait until the end of time if he could.

He pressed against him, nuzzling his face against Optimus' neck. "Thank you," he murmured and Optimus lightly kissed him on the top of his helm.

"Well, I guess that's it for the Q and A," Ratchet abruptly ruined the moment.

"I suppose so," agreed Optimus, pulling away from Starscream. "I guess the next question is where you are going to stay."

Starscream was a bit startled by that. First, by the fact that they weren't going to throw him in the brig, Optimus' Sparkmate or not. Second, by the fact that Optimus even had to ask. Starscream had a few ideas, but he wasn't sure that he really wanted to ask.

"I could have a room ready for you if you want," he suggested.

"I…" Starscream began before trailing off. He knew where he would _like_ to stay.

Ratchet looked between them, then, realizing that neither were going to make the right decision, snapped, "Frag it, Prime, I think he wants to stay with _you_. I don't know, being _Sparkmates _and all, it seems appropriate, don't you think?"

"Well, I didn't want to presume," Optimus muttered uncomfortably.

"There seems to be a thin line between being considerate and being an aft," Ratchet chided and Starscream actually snickered at that.

"I guess I should tell you not to call my Sparkmate an aft," Starscream said thoughtfully, "but I think I'll let it slide this once."

Optimus looked down at him, appearing to be sincerely apologetic. "Would you like to stay with me, Starscream?"

"I don't know," he responded, a little miffed. "Maybe I'd rather see if you continued this hideous paint scheme in your brig."

"Is that a 'yes'?"

Starscream was amused at Optimus' inability to grasp sarcasm. He leaned up and laid a soft kiss on his lips. "What do you think?" he murmured against his lips.

Optimus smiled down at him, relieved that the Seeker was not angry with him. "Come on," he said. "I'll show to your new quarters." He stood up and turned, waiting for Starscream to do the same. The younger slid one leg over the side of the berth, but had difficulty maneuvering his repaired limb.

"That leg's probably going to be a bit stiff, being a new joint and all," Ratchet pointed out.

"That is _ever _so helpful," Starscream snapped as he managed to get his other leg to the ground, grimacing at the uncomfortable feeling of his newly repaired appendage.

"Better watch that tone, or so help me, I'll—"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, head welded to aft, got it."

If Optimus didn't know better, he'd say that he saw an amused glint in the medic's optics.

Starscream stood unsteadily on his pedes before his leg buckled and he nearly lost his balance. Luckily, Optimus managed to slip his arms around Starscream's waist to hold him up. The Seeker sent him an appreciative glance and leaned the majority of his weight against his lover.

"I'll stop by tomorrow, sometime during the afternoon, to see how you're doing," Ratchet informed them once they'd situated themselves. "I want you to spend the rest of the orn and all of tomorrow _resting _so that your body can get used to the repairs_. _That being said," his voice took on a serious edge, "I don't care _how _hard it is, but you two aren't to engage in any _activities_ until I've made sure that he isn't going to break when you go at it."

Optimus looked a bit embarrassed, but Starscream just felt insulted. "I'm not going to _break_!" he started to protest when Optimus quickly spoke over him. "Thank you, Ratchet, for everything you've done. We appreciate it." Starscream glared up at him, hating that Optimus was speaking for him, whether it was for his own good or not. Optimus chuckled lightly at the indignant look on the Seeker's face. "Come on," he murmured, snapping his facemask back into place.

Together, they managed to limp out the medbay door into the corridor. Originally, Hound had been guarding the clinic just in case Starscream became violent, but, upon arrival, Optimus had ordered him away. He just hoped that they wouldn't run into anyone for the remainder of the trip as this would be more than a little difficult to explain.

"Primus," Starscream gasped, looking around. "It's even more horrible than I imagined."

"What is?" Optimus inquired as they slowly made their way down the hall.

"Your base. At least the Nemesis is almost pitched dark most of the time. But this…" He continued to inspect the hall with something akin to horrified repulsion. "It's almost like you _want_ to induce uncontrollable purging."

Optimus laughed quietly at that. "I suppose I've just gotten used to it over time."

"I hope your quarters aren't this color."

"_Our _quarters," Optimus corrected him.

Starscream was about to berate him for not answering his concern when his words—and the unspoken promise—processed completely. Slowly, a soft smile graced his lips. "Whatever," he muttered, glancing away. "Hope it has its own wash racks. I feel disgusting."

"I think you look beautiful."

Starscream very nearly fell onto his face at that, the declaration making him stumble over his already uncoordinated pedes. Optimus held him tightly against him until he regained his balance once more. Flustered, he stammered, "I don't even know what you're talking about. Don't even have wings… Primus, why do you have to make things so _awkward_?"

Optimus snorted a very undignified laugh at that. "I apologize, Starscream. I didn't think you would react so strongly to it." Optimus steered them down another adjacent hallway. "Our quarters are just at the end of this hall," he said, pointing up ahead. He was immensely relieved that they didn't run into anyone. Judging by the way that Starscream practically slumped against him, he wasn't the only one.

However, he realized that maybe he had spoken too soon as the clanking of footsteps reverberated ominously around the hall. Both of their heads snapped up ahead of them to see who was approaching. Starscream went impossibly rigid against Optimus, suddenly very aware of his situation. No wings, no weapons, hopelessly restricted body movements and trapped in the enemy—_former enemy?_—base. He had Optimus to protect him from whoever their unwanted guest was should the need arise, but he hated the overwhelming feeling of helplessness that was consuming him.

Optimus seemed to have sensed it as well as he shifted Starscream slightly behind him. The mech turned the corner… and Starscream immediately recognized him as the little yellow Autobot he had saved only a few months earlier.

He stopped short as his optics suddenly locked on to the scene in front of him. "Prime?" he said and his optics slid slowly over to meet Starscream's. The Seeker noted the brief flash of recognition and… something else that he didn't entirely catch before the little Autobot was speaking again. "What… um, what are you doing?"

"Starscream and I were just going to… discuss the terms of his stay," Optimus responded. Not exactly a lie, Starscream realized.

"Oh, uh, okay." He shuffled uncomfortably in the corridor in front of them, obviously debating about something internally. After a few moments, he said nervously, "Er… Starscream?"

The Seeker stiffened slightly, unprepared to have the Autobot speak to him. He looked up at Optimus uncertainly, who nodded and Starscream swore he heard the semi laugh at him.

"I… um…" Bumblebee fidgeted apprehensively as Starscream awaited him to continue. "I just wanted to thank you… for, you know, saving my life and everything."

Starscream balked at the gesture of appreciation.

He stared resolutely down at his pedes as he continued, "I didn't get a chance to thank you earlier, but when I heard about, you know, what happened earlier this week and that you were in the base, I thought I could get a chance to tell you how much I appreciated what you did for me. I know a lot of the other Autobots don't really like you, but I think that they're wrong about you and just need to understand you better. And… I'm glad that you're here so that you can show everyone that they're wrong about you because I think that you're really a good mech, despite what they all say, and everyone deserves a second chance."

Starscream stared at him, open-mouthed and completely devoid of any sort of snarky comeback or even something to show that he'd heard. He wasn't sure if he should be embarrassed, insulted, irritated or appreciative of the Mini-bot's declaration.

He decided on the default nonchalance. "It was nothing," he shrugged, looking away uncomfortably. "Just… it seemed like a good idea at the time."

"It _wasn't _nothing," came the soft disagreement. "If it hadn't been for you, the explosion would have killed me. Or Megatron would have. And I wouldn't be here. So I… I owe you my life." He chanced a look up, appearing to be oddly vulnerable in that moment, like he expected Starscream to tell him not to be an idiot.

And, if it had been any other mech, Starscream would have. But there was something about the little Autobot that made Starscream hold his glossa. "You don't owe me anything," he said. "It was," _Primus, not again_, "the right thing to do, I guess. Or, more likely, my logic chips temporarily malfunctioned after the crash and I wasn't thinking straight. If that was the case, then consider yourself lucky you were at the right place at the right time."

"Er, right," Bumblebee replied, looking up at the Seeker with the smallest of smiles on his face. "I guess I'll see you around the base?"

"Most likely."

"Okay, later then," he said, turning away, but not before Starscream saw a small anticipatory grin on his lips.

"I'm proud of you," Optimus murmured as the clanking of Bumblebee's footsteps faded completely and Starscream just _knew_ he was fighting the urge to laugh at him.

Starscream looked away irritably. "Whatever. Fragging Autobots have to make everything awkward."

Optimus only shook his head in amusement. They limped the rest of the way to Optimus' quarters and paused just outside the door. As Optimus keyed the pass code and the door slid open, before Starscream could enter their quarters, he said, "Wait."

Starscream looked up at him curiously. His puzzlement only lasted a nanoklik as Optimus swept him up into his arms and carried him over the threshold. "What…?" Starscream muttered while Optimus held him securely against his chassis. Then it all clicked into place. "You _sap_!" he proclaimed, punctuating his word with a light slap against Optimus' shoulder. "What do you think you're doing, going all romantic on me all of a sudden?"

Optimus lightly placed Starscream on the couch, sliding his facemask back and purred into his audio, "Don't pretend like you don't like it."

Starscream's vocalizer hitched slightly and he felt his cooling fans switch on at the husky tone. "Who's pretending?" he murmured back, taking silver lips in a soft kiss, unaware of the deeper meaning of his words until after they had left his vocalizer.

Optimus pulled back, slightly surprised by Starscream's response. However, realizing how embarrassed the Seeker was, he changed the subject. "So what do you think?" he asked, taking a seat next to Starscream and pulling him against his chassis.

"Nicer than what I had," he admitted as he looked around. Optimus' quarters were significantly bigger than the ones he had back at the Nemesis, where he had one desk and a recharge berth, no luxuries included. As an officer, one of the few perks—probably the _only _perk—that he got was that it was bigger than the other Decepticons'. _Just more empty space_, Starscream thought bitterly. _Didn't even have an Energon dispenser. Not that we ever had enough to spare anyway._

Optimus' quarters, however, was equipped with, not only its own Energon dispenser, but an extra room as well, most likely for recharging. Currently, they sat in a small entertainment area, complete with a couch that they occupied, a small table and two comfortable looking chairs. There was a desk off to their right with a computer mounted on top—_Top of the line, no doubt—_and a few shelves packed with datapads.

"Over there is our recharge quarters," Optimus pointed to a closed door in front of them, verifying Starscream's suspicion, "and, to answer your earlier question, we _do_ have our own wash racks."

"Oh good," sighed Starscream in relief. "I don't think it would have gone over particularly well if I were to use the public wash racks here."

"No, I suppose not," Optimus conceded.

"Now that we've finished the tour, what happens next?" he asked, tone full of suggestion.

"I can think of a few things," Optimus murmured, running a hand provocatively down his cockpit. Starscream moaned softly at the touch, feeling as if it had been a small eternity since he'd last felt the tender embrace of his lover. He felt his vents heating up already and squirmed a little in Optimus' arms, wanting more. However, the Autobot leader froze, realizing, "We can't. We must wait for Ratchet's approval."

Starscream growled in irritation as the touch abruptly stopped. "Forget that glitching, old, obsolete rust-bucket. I'll be fine."

Optimus cycled patiently. "I don't doubt that, but I don't want to take any chances." Starscream huffed again. "And I suppose that we really _should_ discuss what happens next."

"Fine, if that's more fun than what _I _wanted," he snapped. Despite his ire, though, Starscream nestled more comfortably against his chest, deciding that snuggling was infinitely easier without the wings in the way, despite how small he felt without them. "So… Sparkmates, huh?" There was still a hint of doubtfulness in his tone.

"It certainly explains a lot."

"And, knowing you, I bet you believe this was all part of some divine plan that fragger Primus cooked up."

Optimus inwardly sighed. "And, knowing you, you probably think that is all a load of slag."

Starscream smirked slightly at the swear. "Well, if the ped armor fits…"

"You have to admit, it does seem a little too convenient that you and I just _happen _to share the same Spark frequency, considering the astronomical probabilities of it." Starscream didn't reply, instead turning huffily away with his arms crossed over his cockpit. "Perhaps you are right and this _is _just some fortuitous anomaly that occurred when we were both brought online, though it does seem a bit too coincidental that the commanding officer and lieutenant of opposing factions are Sparkmates."

"You're implying that there was divine intervention, but how can there be divine intervention with no divine being?"

"You mean no Primus?"

"Of course there's no Primus. Are you really that superstitious?"

"How can I not be?" he asked, gesturing to his chest which held the Matrix. "And do not confuse faith with superstition. Primus is not just an old folk story. He is our god."

Starscream snorted in disbelief. "Are we really going to debate about the existence of a physical improbability? There is no such thing as _fate_, Optimus, or destiny. There is no divine plan, there is no higher being pulling our strings and goading us into a certain course of action. There is only what _we_ decide. _No one_ decides my life for me. We make our _own_ choices and I will not follow the path that has been laid out for me before I was even Sparked!"

Optimus looked down at him, considering the deeper meaning of his words. Suddenly, it felt like everything clicked into place. "Starscream," he asked softly, "do you not wish to accept the theory of divine intervention because you are afraid that it would mean I did not choose you of my own free will?"

The Seeker tensed in his arms, quickly averting his optics and refusing to look at him as he muttered, "Among other reasons."

"It was always you, Starscream," he murmured into the other's audio. "Divine intervention or not, it has always been you and I'm the luckiest mech in the universe to be your Sparkmate."

There was a moment as Starscream processed that declaration before he looked up with the most beatific expression on his face. Optimus smiled and bent down, tenderly pressing his lips against the Seeker's. Starscream responded immediately, leaning up into the kiss, moaning softly against silver lips. Optimus pulled him closer, feeling the bump of a cockpit against his windshield. For a few blissful nanokliks, they embraced each other, reveling in the unspoken feelings they shared. Finally, Starscream pulled away, completely breathless and with an odd mixture of adoration and irritation on his face. "Why can't you just let me be mad at you?" he muttered, though with no ill-intent.

"It's a gift," replied Optimus easily.

Starscream settled comfortably against him. He absolutely refused to accept Optimus' blind faith about their situation, firmly believing there was a logical explanation for it. There were questions popping up in his processor about their situation that he fully intended to ask the medic when he came by tomorrow, now that he was thinking clearer. He knew that if he was ever going to be bonded to anyone, then he would choose Optimus in a Sparkpulse (and, at this point, he didn't have much choice in the matter), though, knowing what he did now about their Spark frequencies, it infuriated him to no end that he didn't know if it was his own choice or a mere mechanical abnormality. He couldn't deny the appeal of being fully bonded to Optimus, however, and he knew that the feelings were real. But he didn't know if they were conjured up from their experiences together or their Spark similarities.

It wasn't long before he felt the drugging effects of recharge settling in and he kept losing his train of thought. His optics flickered slightly as they attempted to stay online and Optimus caught the brief flash of mismatched lights. "I think," he declared quietly, shifting beneath Starscream's frame, "that it is time for you to go recharge."

"But I don't want to go," he mumbled, hating the petulance in his voice. "And I thought we were going to discuss the terms of my stay?"

"We will, tomorrow," Optimus assured him. "But now you need your rest before we can start negotiations."

"The only thing I want to negotiate with you is how many times a day we can 'face each other before we fall into stasis lock."

Optimus only chuckled softly, though he had to admit that the idea had merit. He carefully lifted Starscream from the couch and took him to their recharge chambers. He databurst the code and the door slid open silently. Starscream looked up to examine his new room when his optics came to rest on perhaps the largest berth he had ever seen. Granted, the room was large in and of itself, but the berth took up nearly three-quarters of the whole room.

"Large berth for someone who sleeps alone," Starscream pointed out.

Optimus stiffened slightly as he carried his Sparkmate toward the bed. "I… may have had a larger one installed recently for… convenience purposes."

Starscream looked at him dubiously before he snickered, "So much for not wanting to presume."

"Er… well, I just wanted to be prepared in case…" He trailed off, realizing how bad that sounded as it came out of his mouth.

He laid Starscream gently down on the berth. "Ooh, this is _much_ nicer than the one I had," he moaned, rolling onto his front to more closely examine the bed. "What is this?" he asked, taking a swatch of the black mesh that covered the berth and pulling at it.

"I… uh, what?" Optimus responded dumbly, distracted by the appealing way that Starscream squirmed on his bed.

Starscream quirked an optic ridge at him, flattered but mildly irritated by Optimus' wandering optics. "_This_," he repeated, forcibly prodding the strange material.

"Oh, it's some sort of synthetic fabric. It helps reduce joint stiffness when you come online."

"It's _very _comfortable," Starscream purred, pushing himself onto his back and splaying his entire body over the berth, not even taking up half. "Would you like to join me?" The question hadn't even fully left his lips before Optimus had pulled up next to him. Starscream grinned seductively up at him, though the effect was lost by the faint dimming of his optics.

"Come here," Optimus murmured, placing an arm over Starscream's body.

The Seeker moved over to him, rolling onto his side and making a surprised face at the new position. "Something wrong?" Optimus asked as he pulled Starscream into him.

"No, it's just… I've never lain on my side before." He wriggled a little, getting familiar with the unusual arrangement, until he lightly smiled up at his Sparkmate. "I like it."

"Good, I'm glad." He placed a gentle kiss on Starscream's lips and felt the beginnings of his own recharge systems starting up. He knew that there were still things that needed to be done that orn, but with Starscream curled up next to him like this, they just didn't seem that important. And surely Prowl would understand that he and Starscream needed to "negotiate" his stay here.

"I could get used to this," Starscream mumbled sleepily as he cuddled up against Optimus' chassis, a deep sense of peace settling over his Spark as he slipped into recharge.

* * *

_Hope that part with Ratchet made sense. I've been planning this basically from the beginning so I'm pretty sure I covered all my bases in terms of potential plot holes with my theory._


	18. Chapter 18

_Yeah, I know. I fail epically for leaving you guys hanging so long. _;_; _I got… really hung up on this chapter because… well… it's all very complicated. And then, for some mysterious reason, our internet died for like a week and I _**couldn't **_upload it. But, complications aside, everything is okay now and, because of said hang up, I've planned up to chapter 25. (_DX_ How long is this fic gonna _**be**_?!?!) So… hopefully… I'll be updating regularly again now that I've got a little wiggle room in terms of story development._

_Also, completely unrelated, I'm sort of in a panic right now because I've been telling my family about my "story" that I post online and they know it's about Transformers, but they don't know what it's about. (Thank God!) Because I'm sure you all could understand why I don't want my parents to know what I write about in my spare time. But anyway, my mom is starting to _**look**_ for it when she's at work! _DX _Luckily, she doesn't know my username, the name of the website, the name of my story, or even the characters involved, but just the thought that she's out there actively looking for… this… it makes me very nervous indeed._

* * *

_Something feels different_, Optimus thought groggily as his internal chronometer signaled that it was time to wake up. It wasn't unpleasant, whatever it was, just different. Slowly, his optics on-lined to the darkness of his quarters and immediately Optimus realized what it was that seemed out of place.

Lying completely sprawled over his chassis, between his legs with two small blue hands wrapped loosely around his neck was Starscream. Red and blue optics were off-lined and soft puffs of air tickled Optimus' armor as his shoulder vents cycled slowly. Even though his systems were fully in recharge, there was a tiny, self-satisfied smirk on his lips.

Optimus smiled down at his Sparkmate, petting the dark helm lightly so as not to wake him. He knew he should get up, but he couldn't for the life of him figure out how to do it without waking Starscream. He did wonder how the Seeker had managed to arrange himself this way. They had fallen into recharge side by side. How did he manage to get on top of Optimus?

After a few long, peaceful, _wonderful_ kliks, Optimus resignedly admitted to himself that he had to get up. Despite the warmth of his berth, the comforting weight of his Sparkmate, the soothing beat of his Spark, he had things that he needed to do. He shirked his duties yesterday and he couldn't get away with it again.

With a miserable sigh, Optimus lightly prodded Starscream, murmuring his name in an attempt to stir him awake, if only just enough to get out from under him. There was a quiet moan from the Seeker and he shifted slightly on Optimus' chest, earning a sudden humming of the Autobot's cooling fans, but he still seemed to be entirely out of it. Optimus said his name again, a little louder. Still nothing. He shook the Seeker a bit rougher than before and got a feeble mumble out of him before he fell silent once more.

Feeling a strange combination of amusement and exasperation, he simply leaned down and kissed Starscream on his lips. _That_ got a reaction. Startled optics flashed online and he reflexively jerked away. "Mm… wha?" he muttered, looking up at Optimus with a surprised expression. After realizing that there was no danger, he blearily complained, "I was _recharging_!"

"I am sorry," Optimus apologized sincerely. "Did you sleep well?"

Starscream glared at him with drowsy, incredulous optics. "Did you _really_ wake me up to ask that?" he mumbled irritably.

"Unfortunately, no. I woke you because I need to get up."

"Why?" he asked as he made himself more comfortable on Optimus' chassis, intent on not letting him go anywhere.

"I… have things that I must do." He glanced away dejectedly.

The Seeker glowered at him like it was his fault that he needed to leave, his optics dimming as he checked his own internal chronometer. An adorably indignant scowl crossed his face a nanoklik later. "Do you know what Primus-fragging _time_ it is? Who's even _up_ at this ungodly hour?"

"I am," Optimus responded with amusement. "And now you are. As much as I would like to stay here with you, I really do have to go."

Starscream slumped against him, muttering, "Official _Autobot _business, I'm sure."

"I'm afraid so."

The Seeker looked up at him, a mischievous glint in his mismatched optics. "Well, aren't I a security risk? Leaving me all alone in the leader's quarters with Primus knows what sort of classified information? Tsk, tsk, Optimus, I would have thought that you'd know better."

"I sincerely doubt that you are going to do anything that counts as a security risk."

"Even so, wouldn't you rather stay here with me? I'll make it worth your while," he purred, a sky-blue hand making an enticing journey across his grille.

It was tempting. Very, _very_ tempting. "Maybe another time," he managed with difficulty. "But for now, I really must go."

"We can play 'Interrogation'. I'll even let you be the interrogator."

Optimus felt a thrill of desire at the idea and had to force the words out as he spoke. "I promise, we'll do it another time. Besides, Ratchet said that you needed to rest today anyway."

Starscream huffed, frustrated that Optimus wasn't playing along. "By myself? What am I supposed to do all day?"

Optimus shrugged, empathizing with his Sparkmate. "I have some datapads that you might be interested in. I borrowed some from Ratchet earlier this month on Sparks."

Starscream looked at him suspiciously, obviously not buying that Optimus had "borrowed" the 'pads from the medic. However, instead of pursuing that train of thought, he petulantly responded, "Fine, go, do whatever it is that you have to do." He rolled off Optimus' chassis and turned away from him, his arms crossed sullenly over his cockpit. "It's not like I'm going anywhere anyway."

"Starscream, I would _like_ to stay, but—"

"No, whatever, it's fine. Just go."

"I can drop by later, if you want." When he didn't get a response, he moved closer to his Sparkmate, placing a hand lightly on his hip. "Are you mad?" he asked quietly. No reply. "I'm sorry. I wouldn't leave if I had any other choice. I promise, I'll make it up to you."

After a few moments of silence, Starscream turned and smirked up at him. "Make it up how?"

Optimus smiled at him. "However you want."

Starscream cycled melodramatically, sighing, "I _suppose _that's good enough. But you better make it worth it."

"I will," he guaranteed, kissing him gently on his audio. "I'll come by later to keep you company for a while. You can go back into recharge. I'll leave your breakfast on the table and if you have any problems, the intercom by the berth is wired directly to my personal comm. frequency, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever," he groused. "Where's your wash rack? I'm already awake and I might as well do something with myself for a while."

"_Our _wash rack is right over there." Optimus pointed to a door on the other side of the bedroom. "There is already armor polish and a couple of cleaning rags for you to use. Are you going to be okay in there?"

He rolled his optics. "I know how to use a wash rack, Optimus. I'm not that incompetent."

"My apologies."

"Stop sniveling," he snapped as he swung his legs over the edge of the berth. "It's so unattractive on you." He sent a smirk back over his shoulder before pushing himself onto his pedes and making his way to the door that Optimus had indicated. His limp had diminished significantly over the night, Optimus was pleased to note, while he watched the saucy swing of scarlet hips disappearing behind the wash rack door. He really did want to stay and he felt exceedingly guilty about leaving Starscream alone, but it would only be for a few cycles. He would be alright.

Optimus pushed himself off the berth and, with one last longing glance at the closed wash rack door, he left the bedroom and went out into the main room. At the Energon dispenser, he readied two cubes, one for him and one for his Sparkmate. Before he could do anything else, there was a short screech from the shower. Optimus' head snapped in the direction of the bedroom and immediately he placed the cubes down and went back inside.

"_Optimus_!" came Starscream's shriek from the wash rack.

"What? What is it?" he asked worriedly as the door slid open at his presence.

Starscream was standing in front of one of the mirrors, staring at his reflection with something akin to horror. Staring at his… _mismatched_ optics. Oh right. Maybe Optimus should have told him about those.

"What did that medic _do_ to me?" he whispered with barely contained revulsion.

"Well… your optic was damaged and he didn't have any red to replace the lens with…"

"So he used _Autobot_ _blue_, instead," he hissed, turning a baleful, discordant stare to the semi. "And you didn't see fit to tell me that I'm _asymmetrical_?" He spat the word with as much spite as he could muster.

Optimus was abruptly reminded of Sunstreaker's vanity, not that he would _ever_ tell Starscream that. "I guess I've just gotten used to it."

"Oh, great, so you think I look ridiculous too. Fan-fragging-tastic." He crossed his arms and glared at Optimus.

"What? Oh, no that's not what I meant. I think you look unique, that's all."

"And by unique you mean…?"

"I mean that you are the most beautiful mech that I have ever set optics on and there's nothing that can happen to you to make me think any less of you." He moved forward and pulled Starscream into a loving embrace. "But if it really bothers you, we could always replace the red lens with a blue one."

Starscream hissed at the thought, resting his cheek against Optimus' windshield. "_Never_." He paused, thinking. "Maybe it's not _that_ bad. I could get used to it. I think."

"I hope so. I do like it and you don't look ridiculous. Now have you gotten all the drama out of your systems for today?"

Starscream glowered at him and pushed away, sharply turning toward the shower head and turning on the water. A steady stream of crystal clear water shot out from the wall, trickling down Starscream's armor and sliding into the various creases between his joints. Optimus watched as his optics dimmed in satisfaction, the liquid dripping down his dark face, over the soft curves of his veneer, down his cockpit and further to his codpiece and legs.

Starscream smirked at him, knowing what kind of an image he was presenting and purred, "Well, are you just going to stand there all day? I thought you had _Autobot _business that you must attend to." He turned away and Optimus watched the droplets slide over the scarlet armor of his finely-shaped aft, the whole time wishing he could join them.

His heating systems kicked on full blast and, judging from the faint trembling of Starscream's shoulders, the Seeker was laughing at him for his oh-so-obvious display of arousal. Optimus stood for a few moments longer, staring longingly at the dripping form of his Sparkmate before he cycled dismally. He deserved this, he supposed. Starscream was punishing him for leaving and he deserved it. But he couldn't do anything about it. "I will see you later," he sighed, casting his Sparkmate one last pining glance as he left the wash racks.

He returned to the main room, desperately trying to return his core temperature to normal before he left to do anything. He downed his cube of Energon with shaking hands that yearned to map out the body of his beloved.

_Later_, he told himself firmly. He would be reunited with Starscream _later_. He would make sure of it.

With renewed resolution—and a slightly lower internal body temperature—he left Starscream a cube of Energon and a few datapads in their recharge quarters on the berth-side table and, another longing glimpse at the wash rack door later, he was heading out the front door to his office. As was usual in the morning, the other Autobots were out in the corridor, some resignedly shuffling their pedes to their assigned duties, like Huffer, and others who eagerly bounded through the hallways, unable to wait for what the day had in store, like Bluestreak. They all, however, turned to give him a respectful greeting, in their own personal ways, and Optimus, in turn, returned it.

A small part of him, however, couldn't help wondering how they would react to him after they were informed of his… situation. Would they understand that Starscream was the love of his life? Would they resent him because of _who_ his lover was? How was he even going to tell them about his relationship with Starscream? This was a delicate matter that called for an equally delicate delivery. He knew he was going to tell his officers tomorrow, once Starscream was rested and ready to face this new challenge, but what about the others?

They all knew, of course, that Starscream was currently residing in the Ark, though the more… intricate details surrounding the circumstances of his arrival had been contained between himself and Ratchet, though, as far as the others knew—except for Bumblebee—Starscream was still unconscious in the medbay.

He had already had several heated arguments regarding the Seeker over the past week. Surprisingly enough, he'd managed to deflect Prowl from asking any uncomfortable questions by telling him that he wanted to wait until Starscream was awake to discuss further negotiations. Prowl had not been particularly satisfied with that answer, but he at least recognized the merit of having Starscream participate in the discussion of his future. He'd had several other visits from vehement protesters. The most vocal, naturally, having been the Twins. They were absolutely beside themselves and ordered for Starscream's immediate termination. Or, at least, his imprisonment. That discussion had ended with some particularly creative punishments for that Optimus didn't even know he could have come up with.

But this was just the tip of the iceberg, he knew. They were objecting to Starscream simply being in the base. How would they feel knowing that it was Optimus' berth that he shared during recharge?

He cycled wearily, knowing this was going to be a very long process of explanations and heated words with his more opinionated soldiers. But he had Starscream with him—_finally!_—and he knew that, with his Sparkmate by his side, they would get through this.

He entered the pass code to his office, watching as it silently slid open for him to enter. He sat at his desk, looking over the various datapads that had been left for him by his other officers. Reports from various scouting missions, current Energon levels, weapon inventories, various routine reports from the United States government and other mundane pieces of bureaucracy that had Optimus' mind wandering back to the lithe mech currently using his shower and all the possible uses besides cleaning that his armor polish could serve.

He allowed his processor to drift at his leisure, unable to believe that, eventually, he'd be able to play out all the fantasies he had saved in his data banks over the past several months. He felt his core temperature spike erratically at his erotic thoughts, but he didn't care. All he could think about was having Starscream any and every way that he ever wanted and knowing that Starscream would be more than willing to participate.

He sighed resignedly as he realized that the only way he would be able to comfortably excuse himself to be back with Starscream was to try to get _something_ done. But, with his mind wandering back to his Sparkmate, he knew that it was going to be difficult. He picked up the datapad on the top of the pile and began to read, grimacing at the monotonous language it relayed and forcing away the distinctly more interesting thoughts trying to worm their way into his processor.

* * *

Optimus entered the code to his and Starscream's quarters, feeling deeply relieved to be back with the Seeker. It had been eight very long, very arduous cycles permeated with the desire to be curled up on his berth with Starscream, despite his insistence at keeping those thoughts at bay. It had taken longer than he wanted to be able to find enough of a lull in his work to justify leaving his work, but finally he decided that it just wasn't worth the effort to stay away. He just hoped that his Sparkmate would not be overly irritable.

A quick sweep of the living area revealed that his Sparkmate was nowhere to be seen, so that left one other place. He made his way to their recharge chambers and coded the door open.

And there was Starscream, lying in the middle of the berth on his side with his knees pulled up to his cockpit and the most endearing little pout on his face as his systems cycled in recharge. His armor shone brilliantly in the dimmed lights of their quarters after his shower and, Optimus chuckled softly as he noticed, Starscream had used his special armor polish that he only donned for special occasions. Optimus smiled lightly at him as he made his way over to the unconscious Seeker. The cube of Energon that he had left was empty and the datapads were askew, signifying that Starscream had at least looked through them. Though, Optimus noticed, he held one of them loosely in his hands. He must have fallen into recharge while reading.

Optimus sat on the edge of the berth, listening to the soft puffing of Starscream's vents, watching as his soft lips were parted ever so slightly to draw in quiet intakes, his darkened optics occasionally flickering as his processor continued to work overtime, even in rest, seeing him as he appeared to be so… small, so fragile, in the midst of the oversized berth. Optimus frowned and moved closer, wanting to pull him into the security of his frame, but reluctant to wake him up. Instead, he only reached out to lightly stroke his cheek.

Starscream moaned softly, optics flickering and systems whirring as they cycled back on and Optimus knew he hadn't been this responsive this morning. He shuffled a little against the berth before looking up to see what had disturbed him. A delighted smirk crossed his lips when he locked optics with his Sparkmate.

"I'm sorry," Optimus murmured. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Shut up, I don't care." He pushed himself up and crawled over to where Optimus sat, the datapad forgotten, immediately slipping onto his lap and winding his arms around the other's neck. He rested his helm against Optimus' shoulder and looked up at him with a smug grin.

"I missed you too," Optimus muttered after Starscream had situated himself. His optics widened a little in surprise and Optimus lightly chuckled, placing a soft kiss on his helm. "Have you kept yourself occupied?"

Starscream shrugged. "I read through those datapads you left. There wasn't anything about Sparkmates in there, though there were some interesting passages on Spark functions. Did you know that your Spark has a direct link to your processor? I mean, I already knew as much, but when you bond, your processing components synchronize through your Spark and that's how bonded mechs are able to communicate. Makes sense, though I admit, I never really thought too much about it." He shuffled a little on Optimus' lap, getting himself a bit more comfortable, while the semi only stared down at him.

"You read _all_ of them?" he said incredulously.

"Yeah, why?"

Optimus felt a sense of pride well up in him at his Sparkmate's brilliance, though his Spark clenched as he realized how long he had had to keep it to himself. "Just… it was a lot of information. I looked through them once before and I couldn't even finish one."

Starscream snickered at him. "That doesn't really surprise me."

"… Should I be offended?"

Starscream pretended to think about that. "I suppose you could be. On the one hand, I _did_ just insinuate that you couldn't _possibly_ hope to keep up with me in terms of academics. But, on the other hand, it _is_ true…" He smirked haughtily up at him.

"Well, yes, I suppose you're right," Optimus conceded. "But I had not deluded myself that I could keep up with you anyway."

The Seeker's optics flashed in surprise at the unexpected praise before he glanced away with a stifled smile on his lips. "Whatever," he muttered, feeling heat rise up in his face.

Optimus smiled lightly down at him, placing a soft kiss on his helm. "Is there anything you need?" he asked. "Anything I can get you?"

Starscream fixed him with an odd look. "Like what?" he responded curiously.

"Well, do you need to refuel? Or do you want me to find you something else to read? Whatever you want, it's yours."

Starscream stared at him with a peculiar expression. "I… um… I think I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" Optimus pressed. "It's not a problem."

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Optimus frowned slightly at him. "When was the last time you refueled?"

"This morning."

Feeling a bit ill at ease with the answer, he said, "What are your fuel levels now?"

Starscream's optics dimmed as he checked the little message in the corner of his HUD. "Seventy-eight percent," he reported nonchalantly. When he fully on-lined his optics again, he saw Optimus looking at him with a troubled expression on his face. "What?"

The semi tilted his head slightly. Not sure if he wanted to know the answer, he asked, "What are you used to functioning at?"

Starscream shrugged again. "It depends on the last time we raided. It ranges from fifty to seventy-five percent, but usually it's somewhere in the low-sixties." He stopped upon seeing the incredulous look on Optimus' face. His optics narrowed slightly. "Why? What are _you_ used to functioning at?"

"My levels hardly ever dip below eighty."

Starscream's mouth opened a little in surprise. "_Eighty_? Where the Pit do you get enough Energon to keep your levels up like that?"

"Our scientists developed an energy converter to turn the thermal energy of Mount St. Hilary into consumable Energon." He paused, thinking. "Do you mean to tell me that you and all the other Decepticons were basically functioning at half-capacity?"

"Only if you mean to tell me that your Autobots are used to fighting with their tanks full and _still_ manage to get slagged."

"I don't think they get slagged."

"Well, of course _you_ don't."

"That point aside, it doesn't change the fact that your fuel levels are still far too low for you to make a full recovery."

"I don't know what you're talking about. My fuel levels haven't been this high in ages and I damn well feel like I've already _made_ a full recovery."

Optimus sighed patiently. "Starscream, will you please refuel? If for no other reason than Ratchet will likely inflict bodily harm on me if he sees that I haven't taken care of you."

Mismatched optics flickered at the last part of his sentence. "I…" Optimus would take care of him? Not that he _needed_ anyone to take care of him, no, but… it was a nice sentiment. "Fine, whatever, if you'll just stop _fretting_ over me."

Optimus pulled a very _un_-Optimus-like pout at that. "I'm not _fretting_; I just want to see you completely healthy again."

"So you can frag me into the next galaxy when the time comes?" he smirked suggestively.

Optimus felt a rush of heat from the lower half of his body and suddenly it felt like _something_ was _far_ too close to the scarlet aft currently occupying his lap. "I think I'll go get you that Energon now," he decided, trying to speak over the sputtering of his whirring vents. He lightly placed Starscream on their berth and went out into their living area, ignoring the soft snickers that followed him as the door swished shut behind him. He retrieved another cube of Energon for his Sparkmate and, after a steadying cycle, he returned to their recharge quarters… where Starscream had taken on a particularly seductive pose on the berth.

"For me?" he said coyly when Optimus returned, staring at the sparkling cube of fuel with overly-bright optics. As Optimus approached him, he held out his hands eagerly. When he hesitated to hand over the cube, Starscream looked up at him with an impish smirk. "Or would you rather I work for it?"

He was rewarded with another burst of overheating systems.

Starscream cackled with mischievous glee as he took the cube from his Sparkmate. Optimus took a seat at the edge of the berth and watched intently as Starscream drank the Energon. It wasn't long before he was settling back against the berth with an empty cube between his cobalt hands and a satisfied little smirk on his lips. And, upon closer inspection, Optimus saw a tiny smear of Energon on his bottom lip. Without consciously meaning to do so, he leaned in and lapped up the small remains, feeling Starscream jump at the unexpected attention. Optimus pulled back slightly to look down at the Seeker with lust-filled optics. Starscream's intakes hitched at the sight of his lover's obvious arousal and he moaned softly when their lips locked once more.

The Seeker stared up at him with wide optics as Optimus pinned his wrists above his head and engaged him in another passionate kiss. The semi climbed between his lover's legs, instinctively rocking his hips against the other's. Starscream broke the embrace with a soft pleasured whimper and a frame-rattling shudder.

Already, Starscream could feel his cooling systems switching on and the _need_ to have Optimus inside of him was quickly becoming overpowering. He arched up as Optimus lightly nibbled at his neck cables and tilted his head back for him to have better access. Optimus took this as an invitation to trail soft, barely-there kisses along Starscream's jaw component and chin. The Seeker squirmed and panted against him, scraping his cockpit along Optimus' front. Keeping Starscream's wrists pinned with one hand, Optimus allowed his other to slide down his lover's body, dipping his fingers into the small transformation seams. His hand traveled lower and lower, only a little farther until he reached Starscream's codpiece and—

"Ahem."

Optimus jumped—_jumped!_—at the sudden intrusion. He spun quickly to see who had disturbed them only to lock optics with the disapproving gaze of his CMO standing in the threshold. Apparently, neither he nor Starscream had heard the door open.

"Ah, Ratchet… uh, I didn't…" Optimus stammered nervously, intensely aware of the image that he had probably been projecting as the medic walked in. "I didn't… hear you there."

Starscream glanced around Optimus, whose body was blocking his line of sight to the door, and glared at the medic. "Go away," he snapped, vents huffing madly and heat pouring out of every opening that it could find. "We're busy."

"Yes…" Ratchet said slowly, turning a critical stare to his leader, "I can see that." He took a few steps into the room with his arms crossed over his chassis. "Though, I'm curious. At what point did you interpret my orders of 'spend all of tomorrow resting' to _actually_ mean 'let him rest for about half the day and then frag his processor out'?" He put his hands on his hips to glower menacingly at his commanding officer.

"I… um…"

"You're lucky I'm not going to guilt trip you about how _dangerous_ that could have been for him, considering the extensive repair job that I _just_ finished putting him through, and how his systems could have easily overheated and sent him into stasis lock. Or how, if his body hasn't fully adjusted to the new parts, something could have broken while you were _mauling_ him. Or maybe the fact that his body is still consuming Energon at an above average rate and such a strenuous activity could have completely drained him, and, _oh_, look at this, _sent him into stasis lock_."

Optimus looked away uncomfortably, staring resolutely at the floor.

Starscream glanced up at his Sparkmate, arousal still coursing through his systems, but discomfited by the decidedly regretful look on Optimus' face. He reached out, running a comforting hand down his grille in an attempt to placate him. Optimus looked down at him in surprise and Starscream offered him a soft smile in return. The semi visibly relaxed at the gesture.

"Well?" Ratchet snapped at Optimus. "What are you waiting for? I can't examine him if you're in the way."

Optimus climbed off his Sparkmate, sending a wordless apology to Starscream, to stand at the foot of the berth. Starscream, with his body still overheated and _needy_, went to sit up as well when Ratchet admonished him firmly, "Don't even think about it. Lay back down. It'll make it easier that way."

Starscream hesitated, balancing himself on his elbows, as he watched the medic approach him.

Ratchet regarded him irritably. "Down, now," he instructed impatiently, reaching into his subspace for the various pieces of equipment that he would need.

Tentatively, Starscream lowered himself back down and looked warily up at the medic.

Ratchet placed his equipment on the berth-side table a little harder than was necessary, muttering to himself, but loud enough for the other two mechs to hear, "Great, now his systems are all overworking themselves and I'm not going to get accurate results." He sent a malignant glare at Optimus, who looked away guiltily. He turned his attention back to Starscream and told him, "First, I'm going to take a look at your leg to make sure the connections have held." He reached down to undo a panel on Starscream's leg and the Seeker tensed. The astrosecond that Ratchet's hand touched his leg, Starscream instinctively jerked away and tried to push himself back into a sitting position.

The medic growled tetchily at him. "Would you stop squirming? You're only going to make this take longer than it has to." Once again, he tried to open the covering over Starscream's leg and it was sheer force of will that the Seeker kept himself from wrenching it away again. He felt the medic pry back the panel and the disconcerting sensation of him fiddling around with the various wires in his joint. Starscream held himself tautly against the berth, hands twisted into tight fists and optics off-lined as he forced himself to endure.

_It's okay, _he told himself. _Optimus is here. Optimus wouldn't let anything happen to me._

Even with his own assurances, the very thought of allowing the medic to touch him made him all kinds of uncomfortable. But he held it in as best as he could. He bit his bottom lip, suddenly aware of the fact that he was beginning to tremble from the effort of keeping his body so rigid.

Optimus frowned as he watched Ratchet examine his Sparkmate's leg. Starscream was so tense. And there was something that he couldn't entirely identify pressing against his Spark that he knew was coming from his lover. He opened a private comm. link to the medic. _:Ratchet, wait:_

The medic paused in his work and scowled at him, demanding, _:What?:_

_:Look at him:_

Ratchet glowered at him, internally grumbling at having been interrupted. He turned his attention back to his patient and saw how uncomfortable he looked. _:What the—?: _he began before he stopped himself, feeling something click into place. :_Primus: _Immediately, he pulled his hands away like Starscream was suddenly too hot to touch.

_:What does that mean?:_

Ratchet suddenly cursed himself for letting his temper get the best of him. _:I think he might be suffering from a slight case of haptephobia:_

_:Of what?:_

_:It means he's afraid of being touched. Frag, I should've guessed as much, with how you've told me Megatron used to treat him. You said he used to physically punish Starscream when he was angry?:_

Optimus only nodded sadly.

_:Frag: _he muttered again. "Starscream?" he said out loud, speaking as calmly as he could. The Seeker on-lined his optics and looked at the medic with confusion when he noticed that he had stopped. "I need for you to relax. Keeping the cables in your leg so tense is going to skew my results." Ratchet assumed, from how he had already seen the Seeker act, that acknowledging his fear would only help to cause him more discomfort. The best that he could do was try to quell his temper when Starscream needed his medical attention and hope that, over time, he would come to trust that the medic's touch, despite his current disposition, would not bring pain.

He bit his lips and sent an apprehensive glance at his Sparkmate. The latter gave him a soft, reassuring smile and nodded, wordlessly assuring him that he would be okay.

Starscream blew a steadying sigh through his vents and reluctantly relaxed against the berth, keeping his optics locked with Optimus'. Ratchet worked in silence which was broken only when the medic needed to examine another part of Starscream's body, feeling his irritation at Optimus abating in favor of pity toward the Seeker. Watching his extreme anxiety at being touched, it made his Spark clench as he realized the extent of the psychological damage he had suffered when he was a Decepticon. And even then, he knew that they had barely scratched the surface. He made a mental note to speak with Optimus about how he should deal with the Seeker and for his leader to report to him about Starscream's behavior so he could, hopefully, help to diagnose and rectify his mental state.

After a few silent kliks, Ratchet stood and told Starscream, "Well, you are healthy. Your body is still processing Energon a little quickly, but that should level out over the next orn or so. Except for the few… cosmetic changes to your appearance, it's almost like you were never even damaged to begin with."

Starscream sat up and rested against the wall. "Figures," he shrugged, comfortable with the medic at more than an arm's length away. "I guess you just get used to it over time."

He missed Optimus' wince at his words, but Ratchet caught it. "Let's just hope that your resilience to that kind of damage is not required in the future."

Starscream's optics widened in surprise at the unspoken concern in the medic's voice, though he didn't acknowledge it. "Well, since I'm apparently completely healthy…" He trailed off, pinning Optimus with a _Look_.

Optimus felt his core temperature spike as he assured him, "We will… in time. But right now, I think we should discuss what happens tomorrow."

"Ah, right, that meeting," Starscream nodded with a grimace. "I'm not going to the brig."

"No, you're not," Optimus quickly agreed.

"And I want to build a new pair of wings."

"I will show you our lab."

"I suppose I'll have to warn 'Jack, then," Ratchet sighed.

"And Skyfire," Optimus added.

"Skyfire?" Starscream all but squeaked. He knew, of course, that his former friend would be in the Autobot base and it was inevitable that he would have to have _some_ sort of interaction with him, but all the same, it was still unpleasant to have that fact verbally acknowledged, especially considering the fact that their last face-to-face encounter had been anything but civil. And ended with Starscream shooting him square in his chassis. _That_ was going to require a vast amount of explanation.

"Perhaps you and he could… er, repair your partnership and he could help you build your wings," suggested Optimus as he remembered all too well what their last meeting had entailed.

"_I'm _not apologizing to _him_," Starscream huffed, turning petulantly away with his arms crossed. "He's just lucky I didn't _want_ to kill him."

Optimus knew that there was probably a reason for Starscream's reaction the last time he and the shuttle had met, but that was a conversation for another time.

"All of your inter-factional drama aside," Ratchet interrupted, "I think we should come up with some sort of strategy for tomorrow." He smirked. "I know I've already got my vid-recorder ready for when you tell them about this. What do you want to bet that Prowl will shut down for the next decacycle?"

Optimus only cycled wearily.

"Wait," Starscream said suddenly, "we're telling them _everything_?"

"We have to," Optimus responded. "They have to know about our relationship if you plan to stay."

Starscream frowned. "'If'?" he repeated, cocking his head to one side.

Optimus averted his optics. "You are free to leave if you wish."

"What if I wish to stay?"

He looked back at the Seeker, hope flaring in his Spark. "Then you would be welcome for as long as you want."

Starscream brightened. "Then I'll stay," he decided abruptly.

"Good," Optimus smiled, relieved. "I'm glad."

Ratchet rolled his optics without any real exasperation. "Well, now that _that_ is settled, can we move on? Now, I've already uploaded all of your Spark information into my datapad. I'll explain the technical aspects of it, but I'm not going anywhere _near_ how all of this even started."

"I didn't expect you to," Optimus assured him. He cycled again with a heavy Spark, knowing the extent of damage control that he would have to employ. "I will tell them how this started." He caught an uncomfortable shuffle from his Sparkmate.

"They won't believe it, you know," Starscream pointed out, a hint of anger beneath his features. "They're not going to believe that I only initiated it because you wanted it." He crossed his arms and glared at the wall with a faint snarl on his face.

Ratchet dimmed his optics guiltily. That was what he had assumed.

Optimus cast the medic an assuring sidelong glance as he answered, "I will explain it so that there is no question as to how this started."

Starscream snorted disbelievingly, though he did not voice his doubts.

"And I suppose they'll also want to know where your allegiance lies now," Ratchet added.

"And whether I'm going to spill my fuel tanks about all the Decepticons' dirty little secrets," Starscream inferred. He thought for a moment, unsure of whether he would or not. On the one hand, it would seriously debilitate Megatron if he did and that slagger _did_ want Starscream dead. It would be in his best interest to try and get rid of the warlord before he got the chance to finish what he'd started. But on the other hand, he would be helping the _Autobots_ and that just didn't sit well with him. There had been a _reason _that he'd joined the Decepticons all those vorns ago after all.

But they had abandoned him. He had turned to them so long ago when he needed them most and now they had abandoned him, just like they had back on the battlefield. And Optimus had helped him. He'd offered Optimus information then that would severely hinder the Decepticons and he could do the same now. He owed Optimus that much. It was twice now that the Autobot leader had saved his life and it was two more times than Megatron ever had. Starscream knew who he could be loyal to. Finally, he said, "I'll tell you anything that you want to know. Chances are they've already changed all the codes by now anyway, but we can give it a try."

"Thank you, Starscream," Optimus said, shoulders slumping a little in relief.

"How are you going to tell the other Autobots, though?" Ratchet inquired.

"I… don't know. The only thing I can come up with is to have a mass meeting and explain things to them."

Both Autobots caught the unquestionably apprehensive flinch from the Seeker.

"It's not the most subtle solution, I know, but I would rather they heard it from me than from someone who doesn't know all the details."

Starscream cycled, knowing that Optimus was right. _Wouldn't be the first time that I've had to face a roomful of mechs that hate me_, he thought miserably.

Something on his face must have translated his inner thoughts as Optimus came around the berth to sit next to him. He pulled the smaller mech into his frame and murmured against his audio, "It'll be okay. I'll be right there with you."

Admittedly, the thought that he wouldn't have to face them all alone did relieve some of the tension, but Optimus wouldn't always be there to deflect their ill intent. But it wasn't like this would be something that he wasn't used to. The only difference was the location. And, if it was any consolation, at least he could curl up next to Optimus at night instead of recharging alone.

Deciding that was good enough, Starscream relaxed against him, the close proximity raising his core temperature slightly.

Ratchet watched the two Sparkmates embrace each other and decided that his presence was suddenly very unwanted. "Well, now that we've got a plan, I suppose I'll just duck out so you two can get… reacquainted," Ratchet said with a knowing smirk as he gathered up his remaining tools and replaced them into his subspace.

"Thank you, Ratchet," Optimus told him. "For everything."

"If you really wanted to thank me, then you'll wait until I've left before you start." With that, he turned on his heel and briskly left the room, an inaudible chuckle welling up in his vocalizer.

As the door slid shut behind him, Starscream pressed against his Sparkmate. Smirking seductively, he said, "Well, looks like we have the doctor's permission."

Optimus looked down at him with a smile of his own. "Yes, we do." He bent and pressed his lips to Starscream's, pulling a soft, needy groan from him.

Starscream swiftly pulled back, remembering something. "Wait, I wanted to ask him something."

"Later," Optimus murmured against his lips, pushing him back against the berth.

"Later," Starscream agreed as his Sparkmate climbed on top of him.

It didn't take long before the charge from earlier had built up in both of them. Optimus allowed his hands to roughly map out Starscream's body, teasing him a little more before they got to the main event. He lightly bit his neck cables and the Seeker arched up against him, gasping his lover's name.

"Fragger," Starscream swore breathlessly as Optimus' glossa wound its way down his cockpit. "Would you cut the foreplay and just slagging _take_ me already?"

Optimus looked up at him with bright, lusting optics and smiled, climbing back up his body. "As you wish," he murmured.

He slipped a hand between their bodies and practically threw open Starscream's valve covering. The Seeker moaned with fervent anticipation as the cool air met his dripping port. He watched as Optimus removed his own panel with unrestrained vigor, his spike drawing out fully erect. Starscream's own smaller hands scrambled for purchase on Optimus' shoulders and he looked up with expectant optics. The semi bent down and pulled Starscream into a fiery kiss, glossa slipping between dark lips, as he penetrated the Seeker's valve. Starscream's cry of pleasure was lost in his lover's mouth and he thrashed against him when Optimus thrust his hips again.

Optimus rocked his hips into Starscream's, nipping roughly at his neck and jaw. The Seeker cried out when Optimus found a particularly sensitive bundle of cables just below his audio. The sound of metal screeching against metal and vents whirring madly were muffled as they filled the expansive quarters, so unlike the resounding echoes of the canyon they were used to interfacing in. Expelled heat made the air around them heavy with the scent and feel of their copulation. Optimus felt Starscream's valve beginning to flex around him and he knew the Seeker was close to overload.

Almost of its own volition, the orange glass of Starscream's cockpit split and retracted to reveal his fluttering golden Spark. Without even thinking about it, Optimus parted his windshield and answering golden light spilled from his own chassis. Starscream looked up at him with ecstatic optics that begged for completion. Optimus smiled down at him and lowered himself slowly until their Spark energies merged completely and he was lost in the euphoric essence of his Sparkmate.

* * *

_I know, I kind of copped out with the Sparkmerge, but the chapter was really long, so that makes up for it right? _*-* _Also, for the few people out there expecting me to turn Starscream into a Sparkling… sorry if I got your hopes up. *feels guilty*_

_And, in case you were wondering, we'll have Plot in the next chapter. Promise._


	19. Chapter 19

_Seriously, I need to stop writing such long chapters. They iz _**killing**_ me. _DX _On the bright side, though, we've broken the 100,000 word mark. YAY! ^^ I never would have guessed, when I started writing this, that I would ever get this far. And it's all 'cuz of you guys. Daw, ya'll make me feel so damned special. ^^_

* * *

Optimus felt his systems online slowly, angry red messages from his internal chronometer berating him for recharging so long littered his HUD, and shuffled a little, content to ignore the messages for a little longer. As he moved, though, something else shifted with him as well. He on-lined his optics and found that, against all odds, Starscream had managed to get on top of him once again. Despite having been beneath Optimus when he had been knocked offline from their merge, there he was, curled on top of Optimus' windshield like an organic cat, clutching tightly onto one of the Autobot's hands. The semi studied him with interest, wondering how he had managed to do this, not once, but twice. Not that he particularly minded, but it was certainly a mystery that he intended to find out.

He cycled softly as he realized that he would have to disturb that beautifully peaceful face again so that they could go out and face the challenges that awaited them. They only had a breem before the meeting with his officers officially started and, judging from the dried lubricant on each of their pelvic armor, they would need to clean up before they left.

He nudged Starscream lightly and, as expected, it had no effect whatsoever. Curious, Optimus kissed him as he had the morning before. The reaction was not as strong, but it was a reaction nonetheless.

Discordant optics dimly came online and he mumbled sleepily, "Five more kliks," before his optics flickered off again and he nestled back into Optimus' chest.

"Are we going to start every morning like this?" Optimus asked with amusement.

"Yes." Starscream buried his face in Optimus' neck before he fell still once more.

"Why can't you just get up?"

"Why can't you make the day start later?"

"I have a lot of things that I need to do."

"Did you _have_ to make that Primus damned meeting start so early?"

"I… suppose not. But that doesn't change the fact that I did and I would prefer if we weren't late."

Starscream suddenly looked up at him with a calculating gleam in his optics, though he still appeared to be a bit haggard from too little rest. "What if we were just… a little late?" he purred, tracing small patterns across Optimus' windshield.

Optimus felt his intakes hitch. "We need to get cleaned up. There… there wouldn't be enough time."

"Who said it was only one or the other?"

Realizing Starscream's intent, Optimus abruptly sat up, holding the Seeker against his chassis, and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Starscream wound his arms around his lover's neck, allowing himself to be lifted into Optimus' arms and carried to the wash racks. Optimus set him down on his pedes when the door had closed behind them. He placed a light kiss on Starscream's lips as he led him to the shower area. The Seeker watched with growing excitement as Optimus turned on the water and looked back at him. Starscream joined him beneath the clear spray, loving the way the water dripped down his Sparkmate's frame.

Starscream picked up a cleansing rag and some armor polish and moved forward so that his cockpit _almost_ scraped against Optimus' chassis. He looked up at him with a mischievous smirk, running the cloth gently over his windshield. Optimus moaned softly at the touch of his lover and resisted the urge to just take him right then and there.

As Starscream concentrated on the area that he was washing, he frowned. "When was the last time you got yourself a proper polish?" he chided, his intention of seducing Optimus taking a backseat to his disapproval of the state that his lover was in. There was a coating of filth on his windshield that Starscream had barely even made a dent in, thick layers of mud that had been caked in between his joints from when he transformed, and other obvious signs of a severe lacking in self-maintenance.

Optimus glanced away a little sheepishly. "A little over a week ago, I think," he responded.

Starscream furrowed his optic ridge until he understood the significance of that date. "Oh," was all he said, looking away as well as he continued to scrub away the offending grime. Reaching for something to say, he decided to just continue to berate his Sparkmate. "Well, maybe you should have been worrying about yourself instead. This is disgraceful. I can't be seen with you if you look like this." _Because _**obviously**_ everyone will be staring at how disgusting _**he**_ is and _**not**_ who he's with_, Starscream thought bitterly.

"Lucky for me, I have a Sparkmate that's willing to fuss over me when I can't do it myself," Optimus said softly.

Starscream tried to scowl at him, but it was mostly half-Sparked. "Whatever. But you better not make this into a habit because I will _not_ interface with you if you continue to keep yourself in such a deplorable condition."

"I assure you," Optimus murmured, cupping Starscream's chin in his hand and tilting his head so that their optics met, "I will do everything I can to _please_ you." He laid a tender kiss on the Seeker's lips and Starscream felt a burst of hot air expel from his vents.

He pulled away breathlessly. "N-not like this, you won't," he managed as he continued to wash away the film of dirt.

He slipped his fingers between Optimus' joints to dislodge the incessant muck that had wedged itself in there, grimacing as the water around them turned into a murky brown. "That's disgusting," he snapped at his Sparkmate.

Optimus watched him work with amusement—and arousal when those small, blue digits worked their way beneath his plating—when he felt something odd pressing against his Spark. He studied the Seeker's expression. His disgust at Optimus' state of cleanliness—or lack thereof—was palpable across his dark face. And there was a distinctly, though vaguely, bitter feeling brushing his Spark. Curious, Optimus focused on that feeling, that connection, and pushed his amusement against it.

Starscream paused and Optimus felt the faint repulsion meld into indistinct surprise. "What—?" Starscream began as he looked up at Optimus with a beatific look of astonishment.

"It would appear that our merge last night has strengthened our bond, just as Ratchet said," Optimus mused.

Optimus was a bit taken aback by the subtle rush of bitter feelings that he felt from the Seeker. As quickly as it came, it was subdued and Optimus could barely even tell that he had felt it to begin with. Starscream only grunted a little in response and continued to clear away the dirt.

"Are you okay with that?" he asked softly.

Starscream paused again, though he did not look up. "I… It's not important. It's nothing."

"It's _not_ nothing," disagreed Optimus. "Anything that upsets you is important to me. What is it that bothers you?"

It was not a demand, but a simple, curious question that allowed Starscream to answer if he so chose. He did not. Instead, he focused his attention on a particularly stubborn streak of dirt on Optimus' forearm. The Autobot leader did not press the issue, feeling the flicker of discomfort that his question provoked, and allowed the subject to drop, content to feel his Sparkmate working wonders across his sensor net, though there was still something in the back of his CPU that was niggling at him to encourage elaboration from the Seeker.

Instead, Optimus allowed his mind to drift, intakes catching as he felt Starscream work lower and lower on his body. He looked down at him and his gaze was met with two mismatched, _scheming_ optics. Starscream was working on his hips, just above his pelvic armor. When he was sure that Optimus was intently watching him, he allowed his hands to lower to the blue strip of metal that was his codpiece.

Optimus groaned in blissful agony as Starscream rubbed small, gentle, _teasing_ circles across the sensitive metal.

"Tsk, tsk, Optimus," Starscream scolded in a sultry tone, letting his free hand pluck at the now-sparkling slates of his grille. "You are so _dirty_." He pressed flush up against him, dark lips only mere millimeters from light. "Let me clean you up." One more well-placed caress of his grille and Starscream found himself being pushed roughly against the tiled wall of the shower.

"You can clean me up _after_," Optimus growled huskily into his audio. He pressed his lips firmly to the Seeker's, feeling Starscream wrap one of his elegant legs around his torso and pull him closer. Optimus chuckled softly and latched onto his leg with his hand. He grabbed the other and wrapped it around his chassis as well, keeping Starscream anchored against the wall behind him. He placed another fervent kiss on Starscream's lips, the lust from his Sparkmate dimly shining through their connection. He buried his lips in Starscream's neck and the Seeker moaned softly.

He felt more than heard the soft _click_ of Starscream's valve cover retracting and Optimus pulled back to look at him with bright optics. Starscream trailed a hand down his dripping windshield, sending him a lecherous smirk. Optimus kissed him passionately as he allowed his own interface panel to slide back. He teased the outer rim of Starscream's port with his length, loving the wanton moan he got in response.

"_Optimus_," Starscream gasped, arching his back struts, aching for more. "Please, _please_, _do it_."

The Autobot smiled to himself as Starscream's need pressed against his Spark and he knew that Starscream felt the same from him. He jerked his hips upward into his lover and Starscream's amorous cry echoed in the spacious confines of the wash rack. Optimus thrust his hips again and Starscream buried his face in his neck, trying to muffle the pleasured whimpers spilling from his vocalizer. Starscream clambered for purchase on Optimus' shoulder as the semi continued to plow into him.

Starscream's cherry hips jerked once, twice, and Optimus felt the dulled pleasure of his lover's overload consume him from their faint connection. That, combined with the contraction of Starscream's valve, pulled Optimus into a simultaneous climax of his own. He felt Starscream stiffen a little as his feelings bled through onto their bond before they both fell still, the steady pitter-patter of water jetting onto the hard floor and the whirring of their vents cycling to cool them down were the only sounds in the wash rack for a few long kliks.

Finally, Starscream found enough energy to raise his head slightly and whisper into his lover's audio, "Are we going to start every morning like this?"

_Oh, Primus, I hope so_, was the first thing that popped into Optimus' head. However, instead he responded softly, "Only if you want to."

Starscream bobbed his head dazedly, saying, "Yes, I would like that very much."

Optimus chuckled quietly. "Can you stand?"

"Only one way to find out."

Optimus carefully lowered Starscream to the floor, hands on his waist in case he couldn't keep his balance. Starscream stood uncertainly for a moment before he signified that he was okay. Optimus did a quick check of his chronometer… and found that the meeting started in only a handful of kliks. He sent his Sparkmate a considering look before he decided that, if they were late, then it was entirely worth it. They quickly cleaned off the fresh lubricant on their armor and, after they were finished, Optimus shut off the water.

"Come on, we still need to refuel," he said, pausing when he noticed Starscream staring at him with an appraising expression. "What?" he asked.

"I did a damn good job cleaning you up," he smirked.

After examining himself in the mirror, Optimus decided that he had to agree.

They each downed a cube of Energon, needing to refill their tanks from last night's and that morning's interfacing, and Optimus led the way out into the corridor. Starscream followed only a step behind him. Optimus could feel his Sparkmate's muted but growing apprehension and sent him a reassuring look over his shoulder. It only marginally helped and what little it did vanished in an astrosecond as they passed a few Autobots that shot him distinctly distasteful glares.

Starscream kept his head held high and, from the outside, appeared to be impervious to the disdainful looks, though Optimus knew better and felt a slight jab of anxiety from the Seeker as they passed Autobot after Autobot. By the time they had finally reached the conference room, any positive feelings that he had gained from their earlier interfacing had evaporated completely. Optimus cycled quietly and tried to push as many reassuring emotions as he could through their connection, uncertain of how many actually filtered through. Judging from the subtle relaxing in his lover's shoulders and recession of the unpleasant feelings, Optimus deduced that it had been enough.

The conference room door spilt at their presence and, as expected, all of Optimus' officers were already in there. All five mechs fell deathly silent as they entered and Optimus felt another restless squirm from his lover's Spark. Starscream recognized every mech in there from the battlefield and the Decepticons' gathered intel, though their names escaped him at the moment. Ratchet, of course, he knew and the medic took in their freshly polished armor and late arrival immediately with a shrewd smirk that he donned just long enough for Starscream to catch before he stifled it completely.

Starscream was intensely aware of the four pairs of blue optics that were studying him critically as Optimus led him through the stifling silence engulfing the conference room. He took note of the widening of each of their optics as they took in his appearance, none of them, save Ratchet, having seen him since his release from the medbay. Suddenly, he wished more than ever to have his wings back, feeling so small without the comforting expanse fanning out behind him.

Optimus guided Starscream to the head of the table where two chairs awaited them. He pulled one of the chairs out that, Starscream assumed incorrectly, was where the Autobot leader would sit. Instead, however, his Sparkmate motioned for Starscream to take the proffered seat and the Seeker stared incredulously for just an astrosecond too long. His optics narrowed in displeasure—he did not need to be treated like some little femme—but he took the seat without complaint, noticing, with sadistic delight, the disbelieving stares the other Autobots sent their way.

"I believe introductions are in order," Optimus began after he had settled into the seat beside Starscream. A courtesy that wasn't entirely necessary, but oddly appropriate, Starscream realized. He indicated the mechs on the right hand side of the table and, in order of their seating arrangement, introduced them. "This is Prowl, my tactician and second in command. Ironhide, my weapons specialist and combat trainer. And Red Alert, my security director."

Starscream looked at each of them in turn, noting the calculating stare that Prowl fixed him with, the hateful scowl that Ironhide had, and the almost twitchy demeanor of Red Alert. He nodded politely, deciding that perhaps he could swallow his pride for just a little while in the hopes that it might help things go over smoothly.

Optimus indicated the left hand side of the table. "This is Jazz, my head of Special Operations and Ratchet, whom you of course already know is my Chief Medical Officer."

Jazz actually greeted him in something resembling civility, with a small smile and a courteous nod of his head. Ratchet, despite their previous encounters, simply appeared to be bored and hardly bothered to acknowledge him save for a slight bob of his helm and an infuriatingly knowing gleam in his optics.

"And this," Optimus indicated the Seeker, "as you all know, is Starscream."

Starscream held in the urge to scowl at his own introduction. Of course they would know who he was. He was probably listed only second on their "List of Mechs That Should Be Terminated on Sight."

Starscream quickly realized that it was up to Optimus to begin the meeting before it became a free-for-all in terms of discussion because, as soon as he finished speaking, both Ironhide and Red Alert burst out with simultaneous protests.

"What th' _frag's _he doin' here?"

"Prime, sir, I have to strongly advise against allowing _him_ to sit in on our meeting."

"He's a slaggin' _'Con_, Prahm—"

"—all kinds of security risks—"

Optimus held up a hand and their objections silenced immediately. Starscream looked at him, surprised that such a simple gesture had such a profound effect. Had Megatron done that with him, he would have continued to bash his leadership until the All Mighty Fusion Cannon reared its ugly head. But there was so much unspoken authority in that small motion and Starscream could only stare.

Optimus sent him a sidelong glance as he felt a trickle of Starscream's awe before turning his attention back to his officers. "I understand your objections. However, at this point, they are unfounded. Starscream no longer associates himself with the Decepticons."

"You _cain't_ mean that he _defected_?" Ironhide gasped. He turned a spiteful glare on him. "This is obviously some kinda dirty 'Con trick."

"It is _not_ a trick," Optimus assured him, a hard edge in his voice that had the weapons specialist start slightly. "As you all know, a little over a week ago, the Decepticon Thundercracker contacted us with the news that Megatron had beaten Starscream to within an inch of his life—" Starscream held in a flinch at the memory, "—and was fully prepared to permanently deactivate him. Thundercracker requested that we take him in for his own safety. Over the past week, Ratchet has been repairing the extensive damage that was inflicted on him." He paused, pushing a wave of reassurance to his Sparkmate to counter the surge of unpleasant recollections. "What you don't know is _why_ Megatron went to such extremes as to almost kill his lieutenant."

Prowl visibly tensed, most likely coming to the conclusion that whatever it was that Optimus was going to say next would explain his behavior over the past few months.

There was a long silence as they waited for Optimus to continue. The Autobot leader looked over at Starscream who, until that point, had been staring resolutely at the opposite wall. Starscream met his gaze, a flicker of apprehension on his otherwise impassive face. Optimus nodded imperceptibly and said, "Starscream and I are Sparkmates."

Another very long, very awkward pause as the Autobots processed that information. _Well, that was… blunt,_ Starscream thought as he studied each of their similarly comical expressions of shock. He'd thought there was going to be some long, drawn-out explanation and similar trains of discussion to lessen the blow. But, no. There it was, clear as day. No tedious explanations, no beating around the issue, just _bam, _here it is. And as Starscream stared up into Optimus' optics… was that a _challenge_? Optimus Prime was actually _daring_ his officers to object? Had the situation not been so precarious, Starscream would have laughed out loud at the absurdity of it all. Maybe he was starting to rub off on the Autobot leader after all.

His officers recognized the Challenge—_Primus, it's exactly like those games Megatron and I used to play, _Starscream thought—and were wise enough to keep their vocal processors offline—_Well, maybe not _**exactly**_—_until they had heard the explanation, although there was a noticeably restless charge electrifying the room that had not been present earlier.

"Starscream and I have been… seeing each other on a monthly basis for the better part of this Earth year. We did not exchange information from either of our factions." Just as much an assurance as it was an allusion to what they _did_ exchange, Starscream realized. "Over a month ago, he and I Sparkmerged for the first time—" there was a collective hiss of vocalizers powering up to protest that Optimus quickly repressed with just a look "—and it was through our Sparkmerge that the Decepticon Soundwave was able to find out about our meetings. It appears that as an aftereffect of our merge, because of our unique condition, Starscream and I managed to bond." Another crackle of vocalizers and Starscream noted the flash of Ironhide's optics, followed by a murderous scowl being thrown his way. Starscream only returned his gaze mildly, resisting the overwhelming urge to smirk at him. Optimus continued. "Soundwave reported the information that Starscream and I had been seeing each other to Megatron, which is how Starscream very nearly ended up being permanently off-lined. Ratchet has the technical aspects of our condition and, through his explanation, it justifies what is going on between us." Optimus nodded to the medic who returned his gesture and was wordlessly granted permission to take control of the meeting.

"I took the liberty of downloading all the information that I have on their condition into your datapads," Ratchet began, unsubspacing his own datapad. The other Autobots followed suit, each with similarly numb expressions. "When you pull up the first file, it should be Prime's and Starscream's personal Spark data." Starscream felt a flutter of indignation, not liking the idea of his Spark information being so openly shared one bit. Optimus only quirked an optic ridge at him, curious as to what caused the brief flare of anger. "As you can see, aside from the individual pulse rates, their functions are exactly the same."

"Like bondmates?" Jazz asked, shooting them both a sidelong glance.

"Exactly like bondmates," Ratchet nodded. "Because of the similarities in their Sparks, when they merged, their systems instead registered it as a bondmerge."

"How does this happen?" Prowl inquired, face expressionless save for the pinched line of his mouth.

"It was an astronomical anomaly that happened when their Sparks were brought online," Ratchet explained. "The chance of two Sparks on-lining with the exact same frequency is highly improbable, but not impossible."

Jazz had a thoughtful frown on his face as he turned to his leader and Starscream and said, "So… it's kinda like ya were made fer each other."

Starscream just barely managed to fight down the incredulous snort trying to sneak out of his vocal processor. _Primus, those hopeless Autobots could find the bright side in a black hole, couldn't they?_

Ratchet, however, seemed highly amused by the insight. "I suppose, in a romantic sense, yes, they _were_ made for each other." He sent them both a smirk and Starscream thought he heard the medic chuckle at the scowl that he returned it with.

"And now ya'll're bonded," Ironhide grumbled, glaring daggers at Starscream.

"We are not yet fully bonded," Optimus told him and Starscream was taken aback by the anger he felt coming from his Sparkmate.

"But it is only a matter of time, isn't it?" Red Alert asked with a nauseated lilt in his voice. "My understanding is that once you start the bonding process, it is impossible to turn it back."

"Yes, that is true," Ratchet agreed. "I'm not entirely sure how long it would take for them to bond if they only continue to merge, though I have a few theories." The oblique glance that he sent them told them that his statement was more for their benefit than Red Alert's.

Prowl cycled. "Prime, you said that your… condition would be justified by Ratchet's explanation, but I think we are all more curious as to why you Sparkmerged with him in the first place."

Starscream narrowed his optics at Prowl's obvious aversion to referring to him by name, though he kept it to himself. Optimus nodded, knowing that this would come up. "As I said, we have been seeing each other on a monthly basis." He gave Prowl a meaningful look and the tactician stiffened, inferring when their affair had started. "We decided that it was time to take our relationship to the next level."

Optimus frowned slightly at the rush of emotions that felt startling akin to the ones his Sparkmate had expressed earlier.

"But _why_?" Ironhide pressed. "Why'd yeh decide t' go frag some piece'a Decepticon _scum_—?"

"I would like to remind you, Ironhide," Optimus interrupted, optics flashing dangerously, "that you happen to be talking about my bondmate and, as such, you will treat him as an extension of myself. Otherwise you will be charged with insubordination."

Ironhide was not so easily deterred. "But, Prahm, yeh cain't really believe that he's not jus' _usin'_ you."

Starscream felt another irate flare from his Sparkmate and decided to intervene before Optimus said something potentially devastating on his behalf. Because he just wasn't worth that much trouble. Starscream frowned condescendingly at the weapons specialist. "Do you really think that somehow or another I managed to completely rewire my Spark—which, as I understand, is impossible to begin with—so that it just happens to match Optimus' Spark functions exactly, without having either the equipment to do so or even access to Optimus' Spark information to look off of, in the hopes that somehow I'd manage to convince him to trust me enough to Sparkmerge with me, all as part of some big, elaborate plan to gain your trust and sell you all out to the Decepticons?" He paused, allowing that to settle in. "Primus, you can't possibly be that stupid."

Ironhide's optics dimmed to a murderous indigo. "Stay outta this, yeh filthy 'Con. Yeh ain't good enough t' cycle th' same _air_ as Prahm, much less let him—"

"Frag my processor out?" Starscream supplied smugly.

Ironhide snorted slightly. "'M sure he ain't th' first."

Starscream smirked at the irony of that statement. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"We all know how yeh got t' be second in command."

Though their connection was faint, Starscream quite clearly felt the explosion of fury from his Sparkmate. He only sent a brief placating glance at him. "Really?" he asked mildly. He had heard that same slight too many times to let it affect him as strongly as his Sparkmate. He slid a curious look over to the weapons master, optics overly bright with feigned innocence. "Then perhaps you could enlighten me, as you seem to know better than I. How _did_ I get to be second in command?"

"Don't pretend like yeh don't know."

Starscream shrugged slightly. "I suppose I could always _show_ you why Megatron made me his Second." He let the threat hang between them.

There was a low, barely audible rumble from Ironhide's chassis. "Yeh don't have th' bearings t' take me on, yeh coward."

"Wanna bet?"

As Ironhide surged to his pedes, Optimus intervened. "Alright, that is _enough_." He looked pointedly at his weapons master who continued to try to visually burn a hole through Starscream's helm. "Ironhide, I will not tolerate any more of your outbursts regarding my Sparkmate. Now take your seat."

With one last withering glare at the Seeker, Ironhide reluctantly lowered himself back into his chair. Starscream fought down the almost overpowering urge to smirk triumphantly at him, though he reined it in solely because he knew that it would most likely upset Optimus.

The Autobot leader cycled a deep intake. "I need all of your support in this. I'm sure you can guess how difficult this will be to explain to the others if even you aren't on our side. I appointed each of you to your positions, not just based on your exceptional skills in your field, but your exceptional loyalty to me. I need to know that I still have that loyalty now as it is more critical than ever. I believe that if the others see you backing me up with this, then it will help to keep the peace. With the Decepticons gaining momentum, the last thing that we need is a division in the ranks. Can I count on all of you to, if not accept this, then at least consent to it?"

It wasn't that Optimus felt that he needed his officer's permission to carry out his relationship with Starscream because, no matter what any of them said, there was nothing they could do to stop him from being with the Seeker. However, he felt that it would make Starscream's transition into the Ark a little easier if he knew that the most influential mechs under his command still held the same opinions of his leadership, despite his… controversial lover.

"Well, I dunno know 'bout all'a them," Jazz said cheerfully, "but ya got my vote." He grinned at Starscream. "I always was a sucker fer true love."

Starscream's optics widened in unbridled shock and he immediately felt heat rise up in his face. _Fragging Autobots have to make everything so awkward,_ he internally grumbled, refusing to look up and meet Optimus' amused optics.

"Thank you, Jazz," Optimus gratefully responded.

Prowl released an almost inaudible sigh at his bondmate's recognition. "Then I suppose you have my acceptance as well," he conceded.

Optimus felt himself relax a little. "Thank you, Prowl," he said appreciatively. "I know how difficult these past few months have been for you."

Prowl only nodded slightly in response.

Optimus turned to look toward his other two officers expectantly. Red Alert's optics kept darting nervously back to Starscream like he expected the Seeker to snap at any moment and start annihilating everything in his path. Ironhide, on the other hand, looked as though he had no intention whatsoever of consenting to Optimus' and Starscream's relationship.

"He's going to be staying in your quarters?" Red Alert inferred, shuddering a little at the thought.

_I'm going to be sharing his berth too_, Starscream thought smugly, though he kept it to himself.

"Yes, that's correct," Optimus nodded, his tone neutral.

It appeared that it was taking everything in his power to keep from off-lining in distress. "And… he's not going to—?"

"I promise," Starscream interrupted impatiently, "I'll try to resist my Decepticon programming and not attempt to terminate my Sparkmate in his recharge cycle."

At the mention of "Decepticon programming", Red Alert's optics widened and his intake cycles sped up considerably.

Ratchet snickered. "Careful, or else he very well might fall into stasis lock and I really don't feel like running back to my 'bay for my tools."

Starscream only rolled his optics. He made a mental note to ask Optimus later what made his security director so paranoid.

Prowl looked critically at Optimus. "I take it, then, that he's going to cooperate with us, given the circumstances?"

The Autobot leader nodded shortly. "Yes, Starscream has already decided to tell us everything that he knows."

Ironhide made a sound that very closely resembled a disbelieving snort, either skeptical about whether Starscream's information would be of any use to them or about the amount of knowledge that he possessed. However, he said nothing and Optimus only spared him a brief glance.

He held in a weary cycle, realizing that, with Ironhide's deep seated resentment of all things Decepticon, there was virtually no way to convince him to accept Starscream's presence at the Ark without things turning… unpleasant. And that was a discussion he'd rather have without Starscream in audio range.

"I plan to have a mass meeting later today," Optimus continued, "where I will inform the other Autobots that Starscream is my bondmate. For the time being, I would like to keep the issue of us being Sparkmates under wraps."

"Wouldn't it be easier for the others to understand that you and he are Sparkmates?" Prowl asked. "It might help to explain why you and he… got together in the first place."

"Yeah," Jazz nodded thoughtfully, "but I don't think they'd be too, ah, enthusiastic about the idea. Heh, not that they'll be too enthusiastic 'bout ya bein' bondmates either. No offense."

"None taken," Starscream assured him.

"Prob'ly just be easier to tell 'em all the basics an' hope they don't get too offended."

Prowl cycled. "Yes, I suppose so. And I think that the others have a good enough opinion of you to avoid any serious criticism." He turned a brief considering look over to Starscream, obviously thinking that their opinions of him might not lend him the same courtesy.

"I certainly hope so," Optimus sighed. "Prowl, do you think that you could send out a base-wide memo about the meeting?"

The tactician nodded. "I will schedule it for this afternoon, just after the next patrol group gets in so that we can have everyone present."

"Thank you, Prowl," Optimus repeated. "I appreciate this." He paused briefly. "Well, if there are no other issues that should be addressed, then I believe this meeting is officially over. You are all dismissed."

Optimus stood up, the others following suit, and, after a cordial nod to them all and a Spark-felt thanks, he led Starscream out of the conference room. As soon as the door slid shut behind them, Optimus felt… _something_ unpleasant pressing against him. Though, when he looked back curiously at his Sparkmate, his face was as impassive as ever.

"I don't think your weapons specialist likes me very much," he mused airily.

Optimus considered calling him on whatever it was that was bothering him, but decided that that was a discussion better left for when they were in the privacy of their quarters.

Instead, he lightly responded, "It would appear not."

The trip back to their quarters was uneventful. Most of the other Autobots were attending to their duties at their assigned posts and the corridors were empty. As Optimus coded the door open and they stepped inside, Starscream relaxed immediately, though there was still something emanating from the Seeker that he couldn't entirely identify.

Starscream smirked up at him, closing the little bit of space between them, and murmured, "Well, it looks like we've got a couple cycles to ourselves. How do you propose we spend them?"

Optimus laid a soft kiss on his lips, deciding that perhaps now was not the best time to acknowledge whatever it was that Starscream was feeling. "I can think of a few ways," he muttered, leading Starscream to their recharge chamber.

* * *

After they had cleaned themselves up for the second time that day, Optimus and Starscream each grabbed a cube to refill their considerably diminished reserves before they had to leave. They had spent the majority of their time together "reacquainting" themselves more thoroughly than they had last night. However, after the fifth round or so, they had both fallen unconscious and when they had woken up a cycle and a half later, they were both still too exhausted to continue. They'd spent the remainder of the time sitting on the couch, sometimes talking, but mostly just enjoying the other's presence.

All too soon, it seemed, the time for their next meeting was upon them and they had to leave. Optimus was aware that the distressing presence of his Sparkmate had dissipated completely. It had instead been replaced with an almost giddy lightheadedness that Optimus could feel if he focused hard enough on it. A product of the excess energy still slightly overcharging his systems, Optimus guessed with a smile behind his mask.

Once again, the corridors were empty as the other Autobots were probably all waiting in the Control Room. As they walked, Optimus pointed out the various rooms along the way. Starscream nodded and hummed sounds of acknowledgement, occasionally making sounds of surprise at the obvious differences between the Ark and the Nemesis—though he supposed he shouldn't have been so surprised by the luxuries that were provided for the Autobots and the bare necessities that the Decepticons had. It wasn't long before the door to the Control Room came into view. Starscream stiffened as Optimus told him that and that unidentifiable feeling overtook the pleasant emotions that Starscream had been expressing just before.

The door slid open at their presence and the din of multiple conversations overlapping greeted them. There was a brief pause as the Autobots collectively turned to see who had entered and then overwhelming silence as Optimus and Starscream made their way inside.

Starscream felt his intakes skip and his Spark flare nervously in its casing when he recognized every face in the Control Room as mechs that he had, at some point or another, attempted to kill. He saw Skyfire standing towards the back of the group, watching him curiously, and Starscream felt as if the joints in his legs had been replaced with putty as he quickly averted his gaze. The little yellow Autobot was standing near the front of the room, craning his neck to get a better look. Starscream saw the Lamborghini twins glaring vindictively at him from the middle of the group and felt an immediate, intense surge of reciprocated emotions. There were many that he had seen, but whose names he did not know. But one thing he could recognize with ease was the sheer amount of hatred etched onto each of their faces. They made a path for him and Optimus to walk through and never before had the need to run in the other direction been so overpowering. It was only due to the little bit of pride that he had left that forced him to follow—closely—behind Optimus through the crowd of Autobots. Starscream was exceedingly aware of the poorly-muffled whispers and murmured jeers following him to the front of the room.

It felt like a small eternity for him and Optimus to make it to the front and Starscream fought the urge to simply hide behind his Sparkmate. Silence fell over the room once again as Optimus repeated that simple, but effective, gesture.

"My fellow Autobots," he began. "You are all aware of the fact that Starscream has spent the past week being repaired in our medbay. As you can see, there are still some repairs that he has not yet received. The damage that he obtained at the hands of Megatron was extensive enough that he has made the decision not to return to the Decepticons. Starscream, from this point onward, will be staying here, with us." Starscream felt his audio receptors shut off in response to the explosion of protests and objections from the Autobots. When they rebooted themselves and came back online, the clamor had died down and Optimus was speaking again. "I know that most of you, perhaps all of you, have had history with Starscream at one point during this war. However, he has agreed to cooperate with us to help defeat the Decepticons. I hope that, through his assistance, we will be able to end the war once and for all.

"I would also hope that you would remember the oaths that you, as Autobots, took when you enlisted. Starscream is no longer our enemy and I want all of you to keep that in mind when you see him walking through the corridors. If I find out that you have antagonized him in any way, then I will be forced to take disciplinary action. I say this, not only as your commanding officer, but as Starscream's bondmate as well."

Starscream didn't think he'd ever get tired of seeing the looks of complete and utter _shock_ on the faceplates of the Autobots. His amusement didn't last long as time started again and he _knew_ that he was going to have to see the medic about his damaged audio receptors. Loud, angry, vehement protests rocked the room and Starscream heard a few swears that made even him cringe. They pinned him with looks that he would almost call violent. Normally, he liked to think that he wasn't easily intimidated, but in a case where he was significantly outnumbered, he decided that perhaps just a little apprehension was permissible. But only a little.

Optimus silenced them all with that same hand motion. _Frag it all_, Starscream thought, awed, _I need to get him to teach me that._

"While he is here, you are to treat him with the same respect that you treat me and make an effort to put your past differences with him behind you." Starscream inwardly snickered at the silent "or else" at the end of that statement. "Do I make myself clear?"

There was a hum of mumbled affirmatives and Starscream thought it was only wishful thinking that they would treat him with an iota of the respect they showed their commanding officer.

However, it was enough. There were no more scathing outbursts or denials, no threats or fights breaking out. Optimus only threatened them with legislative punishments, not physical punishments. It was so… unlike what Starscream was used to. Optimus ruled—no, he did not _rule_, he _governed_—them with his authoritative words, with his calming, but commanding presence. His men did not fear him. They respected him. And it was why, after Optimus had dismissed them, it took him a moment to register that his Sparkmate was speaking to him.

"Er, what?" Starscream said lamely.

Optimus only smiled lightly. "I asked you if you wanted me to take you to our lab today." And just like that, Optimus had gone from fearless leader to caring Sparkmate in a matter of nanokliks.

"Oh." The idea of seeing their lab, knowing how overwhelming it would be to be in an actual _laboratory_ after having been denied one for so long, was very tempting. But the idea of having to face Skyfire, especially after everything he had already been through that day, was decidedly _not_ tempting. Even Starscream had a limit to the amount of rejection that he could take in one day. "No, maybe another time."

Optimus nodded his understanding. "Come on," he murmured, his tone low so the others still lingering in the room with distinctly uncomfortable expressions could not hear him, "let's go back to our quarters."

Optimus led him from the Control Room and Starscream was just grateful to be out of the spotlight. However, despite being away from the hateful glowers of his (former) enemies, despite knowing in advance the reception that he would receive, he couldn't entirely shake the pain at their rejection. More than that, the feeling that maybe they were all right: that Optimus was making the biggest mistake of his life by bonding with him.

* * *

_One of these days I'm going to get back to being one chapter ahead of you guys. I've written the first paragraph of ch. 20. That's a start, right?_


	20. Chapter 20

_Wow, I suck. Almost two months with no update? That's like _**major**_ suckage. I just kinda got eaten by this whole other project (of _**EPIC**_ proportions) and this one got put on the backburner for a while. _

_Sorry. _T.T

_Also, a joor is about 3 years. Because I didn't realize that I would need something between a decacycle and a vorn when I first started writing this. *fail*_

* * *

It was not Optimus' brightest idea, he decided belatedly, to have Starscream present when he unveiled the shocking truth—well, _half_-truth—of their relationship. He realized this shortly after they had returned to their quarters and Starscream had made absolutely no attempts whatsoever to try to seduce him. Instead, the Seeker had simply curled up against his chassis on their couch without a word and only pained emotions filtering through their dull connection. His face was completely devoid of any expression as he laid his head against Optimus' shoulder and the Autobot leader couldn't think of another time when he'd felt so helpless. The best he could do was murmur soft words of comfort into his audio and berate himself for not thinking about how the others' reactions would affect him.

They had spent the rest of the day barely exchanging a word and, that night, they simply fell into recharge in each other's arms, Starscream hiding his face in Optimus' chest and Optimus holding him securely against his chassis. When they had awoken the next morning, Starscream had acted like nothing had happened, reverting back into his shell and keeping Optimus a distance. It was something that Optimus wished he wouldn't do. Ever since Starscream had moved in with him, he'd done nothing but keep his emotions bottled up inside, refusing to let Optimus in so that he could see what was wrong. Optimus figured that this must be some sort of defense mechanism for him, keeping others at arm's length. But he just wished the Seeker would open up and extend a little trust to his Sparkmate. He wanted Starscream to know that he wouldn't ostracize him for his feelings and that he only wanted to help.

Despite his flippancy about the meetings the day before, however, Optimus noticed that Starscream was markedly more… clingy. Mostly when Optimus had had to leave. The Autobot leader clearly felt Starscream's desperation at having his Sparkmate part from him, though the other's expression betrayed none of it.

The idea of staying with Starscream was gaining more appeal as he walked the halls of the Ark. The majority of the mechs he passed on his way to his office suddenly became far more interested in the scuffed metal of the floor than their commanding officer. It was just as well because the few that actually managed to look in the general area of his face held a distinct air of disappointment. It was a small blessing when he finally coded open his office door and retreated into the privacy that it provided.

Optimus flopped down behind his desk, placing his head in his hands and cycling deeply. He just had no idea what he was going to do with his mechs. The only way they might even _entertain_ the idea of accepting Starscream was if the Seeker was willing to take a chance and step outside of the confines of their quarters, but considering the reception he had received and his own personal biases, Optimus had very little hope for that option. And Optimus was _not_ going to pressure him to do anything that he was uncomfortable with. Not with their relationship still being so new and tensions so high on the Ark. The last thing he wanted to do was create even more of a boundary between himself and Starscream.

The best he could hope for was that Starscream would grow bored of staying in their quarters and become overwhelmed with the need to venture outside for a change in scenery.

Optimus vented again. He could vaguely feel Starscream moping dismally in their room and sent him a pulse of loving warmth. Optimus smiled when he felt the Seeker's initial surprise suddenly melt into reciprocated affection and relief. For a few long moments, Optimus just traded emotions with his Sparkmate, reveling in the sensation of being able to be with him without physically being so, before he was snapped to consciousness by the swishing of his office door sliding open.

He looked up as his tactician walked in. Optimus greeted him genially and offered him a seat, unsurprised by his Second's arrival, but hoping that this meeting wouldn't be as… heated as their previous encounters had been.

Prowl sat across from his leader, door wings held high and an inscrutable look on his face. "Sparkmates," he said neutrally.

Optimus only nodded.

"I did not expect that."

"No," Optimus agreed, "nor did we."

"And you are bonded now, more or less."

"Yes."

"Which explains your blind faith that it was not a trick when that Seeker contacted us."

Optimus repeated the affirmative.

"I don't think I need to tell you that the others are not exactly happy about this. They are frustrated that they do not understand more of the situation, they are angry about what you _did_ tell them, and not to mention they are all still a little shaken by this revelation."

"I noticed," he sighed.

"However, I do think it was the best course of action for you to tell them personally to avoid speculation about your… relationship. Having Starscream with you was a good idea. It gave them the chance to get used to seeing you and him together. It will still be a bit… odd, but you have at least started the desensitization process. Eventually, I believe they will come to see you as a couple as opposed to their leader with a Decepticon. It will take time."

"I know." Optimus couldn't hide the dejection in his voice.

"But I think that it is possible. Starscream is not the first Decepticon to defect and initiate himself into the Autobot ranks."

"Though I do believe he is the highest ranking Decepticon to do so." Optimus paused, studying him for a moment. "You are taking this very well, Prowl, considering…" He trailed off, alluding to his tactician's behavior over the past few months.

Prowl's lips pursed a little before he responded. "I can't say that I'm as surprised by this as I would like to have been. I had figured that something had happened between the two of you, though I did not know what, to make you sympathize with him. I'll admit that I first thought he had somehow manipulated you. However, I would have liked to think that your judgment was sound enough to see through it. And it didn't explain why you felt the need to defend him at every turn. It seems so obvious now, but I suppose that I didn't want to believe that you and he…"

"I understand," Optimus nodded. "I am sorry that I have been less than civil to you these past few months, but now you understand why I could not tell you." He was not sorry, however, for defending Starscream and Prowl picked up on the unspoken sentiment.

"I do… I suppose that if I constantly heard the others talking about Jazz in such a way, then I too would have difficulty keeping my temper. For that, I apologize. I said some things that, in context, were highly insensitive."

"Thank you, Prowl," Optimus responded. "I don't hold it against you. You were only trying to look out for me and the others. I realize that I did not handle the situation as graciously as I could have so, in that regard, we were both wrong. I only hope that we can put it behind us."

"I hope so." Prowl offered a tiny smile that Optimus returned. "Well, now that he is here and he plans to cooperate with us, we should come up with a date where he can tell us what he knows."

"I agree. Perhaps in about a week or so." At Prowl's confused look, Optimus told him softly, "I would like to give him some time to get settled in. As you can probably imagine, this is… not exactly easy for him."

The tactician made a sound of understanding. "No, I suppose it wouldn't be. However, I think we should take into account the Decepticons' recent lack of activity. I don't expect this bout of peace to last much longer and the sooner that we get whatever information that Starscream has to offer, the sooner we can plan an effective counterattack against the Decepticons themselves."

Optimus mulled over that for a moment, nodding thoughtfully. "That is true, but I'm willing to bet that Megatron won't try anything for a little while longer. I agree that we can't expect this peace to last forever, but there will probably be a bit of disorder in the ranks as Megatron will need to replace both his Air Commander and second in command. The Decepticons will need to get used to the new command structure."

"Well, we already know that Soundwave will move up to take the rank of second in command. The new Air Commander will probably be one of the other two Seekers that Starscream flew with. Considering that they will now be flying with one less Seeker, I can imagine that they will need to readjust their aerial strategies and flight maneuvers. Perhaps then I can schedule something in a few days? Coming up with efficient strategies takes time. Add to that the fact that they are probably still coping with Starscream's unexpected escape and I can estimate that we have at least another week or so before the Decepticons become active again."

Optimus allowed himself a brief moment of amusement at the look on Megatron's face when he found that Starscream was no longer lying in their medical bay.

Prowl continued, "And I believe that it would be safe to give Starscream his communications link back now."

Optimus chuckled softly. "Yes, I don't think he'll be contacting the Decepticons anytime soon. I'll call Ratchet later and have him reconnect Starscream's comm."

"I assume that he will want to work in our lab to rebuild his wings. It would be wisest, I think, to have someone accompany him around the base for the time being. As I said, the others are not happy about this and some of them might not take into account the fact that you can feel what he does."

Optimus flinched. "You're right; more often than not, emotions overtake common sense and, considering his history with some of the others, it would not be safe to have Starscream walking around on his own."

Optimus thought his processor might have been malfunctioning when he saw Prowl don a very small, barely-there smirk at that. "Jazz has already volunteered to be Starscream's escort."

"I… see."

"Well, you know how Jazz is."

"Ah, yes, of course."

Prowl frowned suddenly, a perturbed look on his face. "Optimus, I know that Starscream and Megatron never had the best relationship, but it seems a bit… excessive to cause such physical trauma to a mech that you intended to terminate. I don't mean that I wish Megatron had succeeded in doing so, considering your relationship. It is just that, though Megatron is a bit brutal in his tactics, he is not stupid. Starscream has attempted to usurp him numerous times and very nearly succeeded on more than a few occasions. It's obvious that he is resourceful and I would have thought that if anyone would know not to underestimate him, it would have been Megatron. It would have made more sense to kill him outright than to risk him escaping."

The Autobot leader cycled wearily, choosing his words carefully. "I do not think that Megatron ever thought of Starscream as much of a threat. From what he has told me, Megatron very rarely, if ever, took him seriously. You've seen the way they used to interact on the battlefield. Neither of them seemed to have much respect for the other." Optimus paused, a thought coming to him. During their first Sparkmerge, Starscream had felt like Megatron was justified in beating him. There had obviously been respect before for Starscream to feel the weight of Megatron's disappointment with him. If that was the case, then why did he constantly try to overthrow him? Was it possible that, for some reason, Starscream still respected Megatron? If so, then why?

"Prime?" Prowl queried curiously. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," he assured him. "There is just something that I wish to speak with Starscream about."

Prowl narrowed his optics slightly in thought before nodding. There was a brief pause until the tactician spoke again. "I think you have been a good influence on him."

Optimus was surprised by his Second's opinion. Very rarely would Prowl ever voice his personal judgment without being prompted to do so from a tactical perspective. Optimus thought about that for a moment. "What makes you say that?"

"I've never seen him so efficient in battle. Whatever you told him, it would appear that it allowed him to think clearer. It is probably a good thing that he is here with us now as it seems that the Decepticons were quickly gaining the upper hand while he was there."

Optimus allowed himself to grin proudly beneath his mask. It felt good to hear his Second acknowledge Starscream's competency, especially considering his previously unfavorable attitude toward the Seeker. He felt Starscream perk up a little at his abrupt shift in mood, curiosity pushing against him that he answered with swift reassurance that he hoped translated into the promise for answers later.

"I suppose you have work that you must do," Prowl said, standing. Optimus pushed himself to his pedes as well. "I am… pleased that you are happy. I can't say that I am entirely satisfied with the current situation, but I highly doubt that there's anything that I can say to change your mind."

"No, I would think not."

Prowl nodded. "I'll schedule something for later this week."

"Could you perhaps make it later in the day? Starscream… is not a fan of mornings."

"I'll see what I can do." With that, he offered a polite tilt of his head and exited, leaving Optimus with the inclination that he would make the meeting especially early just for Starscream.

Feeling a bit relieved that he and Prowl were back on good terms, Optimus retrieved the datapad on the top of the pile and began reading its contents.

* * *

A quick call to his Chief Medical Officer and a short trip back to his quarters later, Optimus and Starscream were making their way to the medbay. It was obvious that Starscream would much rather have stayed in their recharge chambers than have to brave the halls of the Ark again, but he didn't voice his concerns—though a part of Optimus wished that he would—and silently followed his Sparkmate back out into the hostile atmosphere.

Starscream mentally tensed each time they passed one of Optimus' Autobots, but the mech would only look quickly away without daring to say a word against the Seeker. In Optimus' presence, anyway, Starscream inferred.

The clinic doors split at their arrival and Ratchet was already waiting for them. "Well, get your aft over there," Ratchet told Starscream, indicating a stool in the middle of the floor.

"Is that how you greet all your patients?" Starscream sneered as he crossed the room.

"You're just special."

"Lucky me."

Ratchet stifled a smirk and changed the subject. "I take it you two have spent the past few days merging."

"Someone's being blunt today," Starscream muttered loud enough for the medic to hear.

Optimus glanced briefly over at his Sparkmate before responding, "We have only merged one other time so far."

Ratchet only nodded shortly. He moved to stand behind the Seeker and Optimus watched as he tensed, feeling a sudden, brief flare of panic come from his Sparkmate. "I'm just going to connect your communications network, so sit still or I might end up cross-wiring your sensory array with your motor relay." To anyone else, Optimus knew that would have been more of a threat than a warning.

Usually, for a process like this, Ratchet would have his patients lie down on the medical berth since it was easier for him to work horizontally than vertically. However, with Starscream's aversion to being touched by anyone other than his Sparkmate, he figured he could make an exception.

"Since you two have merged a little more, I'm going to assume that your bond has become stronger," Ratchet said as he auto-retracted a panel on the back of Starscream's helm.

"Yes, it has," Optimus replied.

"And, let me guess: it's only an enhanced version of what it was before, right? Just particularly strong emotions?"

"That's right."

Ratchet snorted irritably after soldering a wire back into place. "Well, since you two are going to do this the slow way instead of just doing it and getting it done, it's probably going to be that way for a while. Complex emotions and coherent thoughts don't come until later."

"How _muh-uch_ later?" Starscream asked, his voice hitching as Ratchet plugged a small, black rectangular device into the back of his head. "Frag it, can you _warn me_ next time?"

"It's not like it hurt," Ratchet snipped back. "Anyway, I'd wager, at this rate, it will take at least a few decacycles. I can't say how many for sure. Most mechs that start the bonding process want to become bonded as quickly as possible." Optimus was pretty sure that was a hint. "There's none of this waiting-around-to-see-what-happens scrap that you two are doing." _Definitely_ a hint. "Mechs with relatively close electromagnetic frequencies tend to take anywhere from a decacycle to a half a joor to bond fully. Considering that yours is exactly the same, I would assume that just one quick, _intentional_ bondmerge would be enough to link your Sparks."

"But since that's not going to happen," Starscream snapped, "how long will what we're doing take?"

Optimus couldn't help the wince that followed Starscream's words. The Seeker was all that Optimus ever wanted. Though he had promised to give Starscream time and not pressure him into this, the fact that he was so reluctant to bond fully with him sent an ache through Optimus' core.

Starscream looked over at his Sparkmate with a raised optic ridge, curious about what he said to have caused such a reaction from him, but Ratchet was already speaking. "I already told you, you ungracious scrapheap, it'll be a few decacycles. I don't know exactly how many, so excuse me for not providing you with instant gratification."

The Seeker scowled petulantly at the opposite wall, unable to turn his irritable glare at the medic behind him.

"There," the CMO announced after a brief nanoklik. He disconnected the device and slid the panel at the back of Starscream's head shut. "That should about do it." He came around and looked expectantly at the irritable Seeker.

A few moments of silence passed before Starscream finally hissed, "What?"

"Try it out," Ratchet returned like it should have been obvious.

"Why? Do you doubt your abilities so much that you need me to double-check your work for you?"

Ratchet glowered at him. "Or maybe it's just that I had to reset your _entire_ central communications range so that you were no longer tuned to Decepticon frequencies. Add to that the fact that I'm unfamiliar with your particular communications system and, yeah, I think a test-run is a pretty frelling good idea."

"Well, _maybe_ I don't _know_ any Autobot frequencies to try it out _on_," Starscream retorted, "and I don't think any of my former subordinates would like to hear back from me any time soon."

"Ah, good point," Ratchet conceded. "Prime, give him your frequency."

Optimus gave him the long sequence of numbers that was his personal link. After a pause and grumbled complaint about how Decepticons never had such long codes, Optimus felt his internal comm. ping with an incoming message. He opened the link and was greeted with Starscream's voice.

_:So?: _he said with a distinct note of exasperation in his voice and matching expression on his face. _:Is it working?:_

Optimus smiled. _:Yes, Starscream, it is:_

Suddenly, Starscream's lips quirked into a roguish smirk. _:You know, we could have some fun with this:_

_:I'm sure we could:_

"Well," Ratchet interrupted their silent conversation, "since you two are both grinning like idiots, I'll assume that my work was impeccable, as always." He shot a haughty look over at his patient.

Starscream only casually pushed himself to his pedes, saying, "It was adequate. For now, however, I'll have to make due with short-range communications. There were transmitters in my wingtips that allowed me to contact others over longer distances." He slid a smug leer over to the medic. "But I'm sure you already knew that."

Ratchet forced down the urge to bristle at the barb and returned his look coolly. "I also know that, because of the cluster of so many highly charged wires, that was probably a hot spot for you, wasn't it?"

Starscream was too surprised by this insight to be embarrassed by it. Not that he would have been anyway. He frowned slightly as he considered that and looked thoughtfully at his Sparkmate, his divergent optics pointedly studying the two antennae on his helmet. A slow smile worked its way onto his lips. "I wonder…" he murmured more to himself than to the other two mechs.

Optimus felt his ventilations stall briefly at the sultry gleam in his lover's optics.

Ratchet chuckled. "That being said, I'm sure you two have some exploring to do—" He was cut off by the whoosh of his medbay doors opening and two oblivious red and yellow blurs bursting in, arguing. Loudly. They were both sporting numerous deep, leaking dents on their armor and sparking from various gashes on their bodies. Not to mention the fact that they were both coated in a film of unidentifiable grime. If Starscream didn't know better, he'd say they just came from a battle. "Primus on a dipstick!" Ratchet swore, effectively cutting off their noisy disagreement. "You two just can't seem to keep from attempting to mangle yourselves for _one day_, can you?"

"Aw, come on, Ratch, it's been like two weeks," Sideswipe responded with his hands raised in a placating fashion. "Besides, we wouldn't even need to be here if _Sunny_ hadn't—"

"Oh, don't you _dare_ try to pin the blame on me!" the yellow warrior hissed. "Especially when _you _were the one who—"

"_Enough_!" Ratchet interrupted. Loudly. "I don't care. Get your afts on _that_ berth _now_ or so help me I'll replace your motherboards with putty so that something might actually _stick_ in those dense, underused processors of yours."

Whatever retort Sunstreaker had prepared suddenly died in his vocal processor as he caught sight of his leader standing off to the side of the medbay. Slowly, his optics slid over to meet those of the wingless Seeker standing next to him. His entire body jerked instinctively and it looked like it was only quick thinking on his brother's part that he didn't automatically leap at him. Sideswipe put a hand on his twin's shoulder and muttered something that no one but Sunstreaker entirely caught. The yellow warrior relaxed only marginally.

"Prime," Sideswipe greeted stiffly as he kept his optics trained on Starscream. Optimus nodded slightly to him, taking a step closer to his Sparkmate as his two best warriors watched him with ill intentions in their blazing optics.

"What the fragging Pits is _he_ doing here?" Sunstreaker snarled, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides.

"You didn't honestly think I'd spend all my time holed up in _our_ quarters, did you?" Starscream returned unperturbedly, making a point to emphasize that he was sharing the same living space as Sunstreaker's leader.

"Would've been nice," Sunstreaker shot back. "Least then you wouldn't be spreading your Seeker _filth_ around _our_ base."

Ratchet tried to interject before things got out of hand as Optimus stiffened, preparing to defend his Sparkmate. "You better not be starting anything in my 'bay—"

But his warning went unheeded as Starscream coolly replied, "I wasn't aware that you had enough authority to stake a claim on this base. I thought you were just mindless, frontline _drones—_"

Sideswipe barely managed to hold back his brother before he could lunge at Starscream, muttering, "Not now, Sunny." But he, too, was ignored.

"Who are you calling 'mindless drones', _Seeker_?" Sunstreaker seethed as he thrashed against his twin. "Or did you forget that you're nothing but a barely-sentient _military droid_?"

Starscream's unruffled demeanor vanished instantly at the slight. His optics flashed dangerously in anger. "Say that again," he hissed, taking a step forward.

"Barely-sentient military droid," Sunstreaker repeated slowly with a triumphant smirk, deliberately stressing each syllable.

With an incoherent shriek of rage, Starscream flung himself at the yellow warrior. Optimus only just grabbed Starscream around his waist before he could do something that he would regret. The Seeker gnashed his dental plating together in a vicious snarl and struggled furiously against the vice-like arms restraining him to get to the mocking Lamborghini only a few yards from him.

"Starscream, calm down," Optimus murmured gently, but firmly, into his audio. Though he continued to glare icily at the golden warrior, he couldn't refuse a direct request from his Sparkmate. He stopped his attempts to try to escape from Optimus' grasp and only stood rigidly against him, a venomous glower marring his features. "Come on, Starscream." Optimus guided the former Air Commander to the door, keeping an unyielding grip on his shoulders in case Starscream tried to get away again. Sunstreaker maintained laser-like optic contact until the doors slid shut behind the two Sparkmates.

Once in the hallway, Optimus released Starscream, who stared resolutely ahead with little more than blind fury broadcasting from his end of the bond. They returned to their quarters in silence where Starscream made as if to lock himself in their recharge chambers. Optimus stopped him with a feather-light touch on his arm.

"Starscream," he began softly, retracting his mask, "what was that about?"

"The slagger insulted me," came the short reply.

"I know. But why did it upset you so much? Has someone ever said that to you before?"

Starscream kept his back to Optimus so the latter couldn't see his expression. From the tense way that he held himself and the feelings coming from their bond, Optimus could tell that Starscream was still angry about what had transpired which, naturally, meant that he wouldn't want to talk about it. But Optimus wasn't about to let this go so easily.

Finally, Starscream answered in a barely-controlled tone, "Yes."

"Who?"

A pause. "You wouldn't know them."

"I might. Please, who said that to you?"

"It's not important."

There it was again. The same phrase he used to deflect Optimus when something was bothering him, but refused to elaborate on. But Optimus pressed on. "It _is_ important. I want to know why you reacted so strongly to that. Just talk to me, Starscream. Please."

There was a long silence before Starscream spoke again. "I… can't," he finally forced out.

"Why not?"

"Because it's just… not something I want to get into. It's complicated."

"Then explain it to me," Optimus offered gently.

"I _can't_," he repeated through clenched dental plating.

"Starscream, _please_, why can't you just tell me?"

Starscream snatched his arm out of Optimus' grasp and whirled around. "Why does it matter to you? Why are you making this into such a big deal?"

Optimus was startled by the anger being directed at him from his Sparkmate. "Because I just want you to be able to talk to me. You keep pushing me away when you're bothered by something and I don't want you to keep it all bottled up. You can _talk_ to me, you can let me in and I'll do my best to make everything better for you. But I can't do that if you shut me out whenever something troubles you." This wasn't even about the comment. It was about building trust and letting Starscream know that he could let Optimus in without fear of rejection.

Starscream's optics dimmed and he looked down at the floor. And was that just a hint of guilt on his face? "You're better off being shut out," he mumbled, more to his pedes than to Optimus.

"Why do you say that?" he asked gently.

"Because I…" He grit his dental plating together and stared at the wall, looking as if it physically pained him to speak. "I just… can't talk about certain things."

"_Why_?"

"I don't know!" he snapped. "There are things about me that you're better off not knowing and there are things that I just don't want to talk about. That… _comment_ being one of them."

Optimus felt himself starting to lose control and become frustrated. "Well, if we're going to bond, I'm going to find out everything eventually, don't you think?"

Starscream glanced away again, looking stricken.

When it was clear that Starscream wasn't going to say anything, Optimus cycled deeply. "Okay, fine, we won't talk about it." He tried to force some semblance of calm into his voice, but with Starscream being so unutterably stubborn, he was finding it a bit difficult. He needed to get out for a little while before he said something decidedly regretful, do some paperwork or something equally as tedious to get his mind off this. "I have some work that I need to finish up. I'll be back later tonight."

He turned away and made his way to the door, leaving Starscream to stare after him with a rueful look on his face.

* * *

_The end of this chapter wanted to get weird on me. Instead, I just stuck with some good old fashion angsting._ _And I swear, I won't leave Starscream wingless for too much longer._


	21. Chapter 21

_So… this is awkward… To all of those who lost faith, feel free to visit my profile to see what my deal is. It's too much to put here._

* * *

Optimus sat behind his desk, allowing his irritation to churn through his tanks. He took up a stylus to make notes on some inconsequential piece of legislation, but he gripped it so tightly that he just dropped it to avoid breaking it. He wasn't mad, necessarily, though he was very close to it. Beneath that, however, he felt a mix of guilt and sympathy for Starscream. He knew that Starscream just needed time and patience and affection and encouragement and all those things that he had proven to have an affinity for. But at the same time, he hadn't met anyone yet that required so _much_ of his attention. Not, of course, that he was _opposed_ to giving Starscream those things. He was more than willing. He just wished that it was… easier.

And then _that_ made Optimus feel guilty that he wasn't providing the amount of support that Starscream needed because it wasn't as _convenient_ as some of his past experiences.

He couldn't even imagine how difficult this entire situation was for Starscream. To have everything metaphorically and literally ripped away from him and then to be thrust into the care of his enemies shortly after having been very nearly terminated? Optimus fully grasped the situation. Whether or not Starscream recognized that was another matter. And how Optimus planned on handling this when for the last few days they'd been ignoring these planet-sized issues was what had him entirely mystified now. The current conditions were new to both of them, though naturally things were infinitely harder for Starscream, who was going to need to learn an entirely new lifestyle with mechs he had been attempting to terminate not even a decacycle ago.

He could feel Starscream's anger as well. How could he not? It was the most vivid emotion he'd felt from his Sparkmate since that terrible day when he nearly lost his life. He could suddenly feel pain in his hands. Only faintly, but enough for him to infer what was happening.

He sighed quietly. He felt a gnawing guilt in his Spark for losing his temper with Starscream, knowing how volatile he could be, even if that same frustration hadn't completely gone away. He rested his head against his hand, trying to block out both his and Starscream's feelings. Part of him – most of him, really – wanted to go back to their quarters to apologize and see if they could try to talk through this, even though he was sure very little had changed in the last cycle.

But he couldn't. It wasn't… practical. He had basically already blown off two days of work for Starscream and he still had a job to do. Regardless of his personal life.

He needed help, he realized abruptly. He was the only one here that Starscream trusted. He had to get someone else on Starscream's side so that he wouldn't feel quite as alienated. Someone to keep him company when Optimus couldn't be there and to keep him occupied so he wasn't spending so much time letting his loneliness and despondency grow. Unfortunately, it wasn't like Starscream trusted others easily. Perhaps… someone that Starscream had a history with?

Immediately, Optimus heard Starscream's objections in his head. But really, it was only a matter of time before they ran into each other and it might be best if they at least _tried_ to clear the air between them before then. Otherwise, it would lead to a very awkward moment in public and Optimus knew that Starscream wouldn't react at all well. Which would only make things harder for him, which would make things harder between _them_, and it would just be _so_ much easier if Starscream wasn't so hard-headed.

_He's been through a lot, he just needs time_, Optimus reminded himself patiently.

As he came to a decision and pushed himself to his pedes, he couldn't help sending a little prayer to Primus that this would work.

* * *

Starscream stood rigidly, staring at the door of their quarters that Optimus had left through some insignificant number of kliks ago, head tilted slightly and optics vacant as he tried to sort through his emotional turmoil. Impulsively, he turned and punched the wall as hard as he could. The metal gave way, leaving a shallow dent. He felt the impact reverberate through the wall and back into his body, starting at his hand and vibrating all the way down his spinal column to the floor.

He vented harshly, not entirely certain what that accomplished, though he felt a vague sense of satisfaction over his pulsing aggravation.

Optimus just didn't _understand_. He didn't know what those words meant to him. "_Barely sentient military droid_." How could he? And how could Starscream possibly explain it to him without sounding like a petulant Sparkling? That someone a long time ago had said those _exact_ words to him and hurt his feelings and he was still a little touchy about it? He couldn't. He _wouldn't_. Optimus probably already thought that Megatron had ruptured most of his vital neural connections and he did not want to enforce it.

"_There was really no place for a barely sentient military droid such as yourself here anyway…"_

The words replayed in Starscream's head, from another voice, another life, and brought back so many memories. Everything could have been so different. He could have _been _someone. He could have changed history, if only they hadn't stolen everything. His home, his purpose, his very _essence_. The _Autobots_. Even now, Starscream couldn't think the word without a shudder of fury racking his body. They stole _everything _from him without so much as shuttering an optic. They forced him to become the very thing that he so desperately despised. A killer. His only chance of survival, of retaliation, was to revert back to his natural programming, which he had tried for so long to distance himself from. They needed to pay for that and Starscream turned to the only one that he thought could help him. He was reborn and he was recognized for his talents.

And now he was _here_, in the Autobot base, of all places, seeking asylum from the one mech that he thought would bring him the greatness that he _deserved_.

The terror and rage and injustice of it all blinded Starscream and he just started pounding the wall. It sickened him that he needed the Autobots' protection now after all that they had done to him. With their vile sentiments about acceptance and tolerance that they spout only to turn around with their stereotypes and prejudices. Disgusting. They hadn't changed at all since Starscream's time at the Science Academy. And even after all of his vorns under Megatron's rule, the fighting and starving and bleeding for the Cause, it was all for nothing. Yet again he had been stripped of his life. He was a prisoner. There was nowhere else to go. No one else to help him redeem himself. He couldn't even fly away. He was grounded for Primus knew how long and the claustrophobia was setting in along with the stress and anger and confusion and… fear.

His servos were singing with pain and his vents were whirring loudly as he stopped hitting the wall. It was overwhelming. Everything. His mind was racing, replaying all of the mistakes that led him to this moment and he realized the biggest one of all… Asking for Optimus' Spark. Optimus' words echoed in his head:

"_If we're going to bond…"_

Starscream's Spark flared in its casing. _Bond_. Just the word sent a whirlwind of conflicting emotions through his core. It wasn't like he had _meant_ for it to happen. It wasn't like he even really _wanted _it to happen. Not this way. Not when either of them hadn't had any choice in the matter. Optimus didn't understand that either and there was no way that Starscream could even begin to explain with anything resembling coherency.

Feeling somehow less aggravated, though more restless, Starscream opted not to pursue further internal contemplation and took up a blank datapad from Optimus' desk and buried himself in his work.

* * *

"Skyfire?"

The large white shuttle looked up from the lab table he was standing over, less with a sense of surprise and more with patient resignation that he had been interrupted – not for the first time that day, it seemed – from whatever he had been doing. There was a minute flicker of recognition when he saw Optimus Prime standing in the doorway to the lab before melding to a soft, welcoming smile.

"Prime," he nodded. "It is nice to see you."

"You, as well," Optimus returned pleasantly, taking a few more steps into the lab. "I hope I haven't interrupted you from making any important scientific breakthroughs."

Optimus liked Skyfire. Most likely, it was that they shared such a similar temperament that was complemented by one another's patience and stillness. Unlike Optimus, however, Skyfire had the remarkable tendency to blend into the background while Optimus' presence simply garnered attention and respect. While Skyfire easily towered over the other Autobots, Optimus included, he was exceptionally approachable and never intimidating. As a scientist, Skyfire was rarely on the battlefield and even if he was, it was only as transport. He had made his stance on violence very clear, preferring to study and preserve life than try to destroy it. Other than a few shoot-or-be-shot scenarios, Skyfire had little use of his Autobot-issued blaster. As such, Optimus did not have as much to do with the shuttle as he would have liked.

"I'm afraid not," Skyfire laughed softly. "As of late, the only 'breakthroughs' we've had are Wheeljack's experiments excavating the other half of the lab."

Optimus let out his own quiet chuckle. "I've heard all about it from Ratchet. At least no one's been seriously hurt."

"Luckily. Though I believe this last time, Wheeljack nearly lost a headfin."

"Oh dear, Ratchet neglected to tell me that."

"He's fine," Skyfire waved away Optimus' concern. "Hopefully, he's learned his lesson to not mix Cybertronian and Earthen elements before testing them individually first." Skyfire shook his head with an indulgent smile.

"And how has your research with Perceptor been coming?" Optimus knew that the two of them were in the process of trying to develop some new solar powered Energon generator.

"It has been going well," answered Skyfire, placing the soldering iron in his hand that he had been idly twirling in his fingers down onto the table he had been working at. "We've run into a few bumps along the way, none of which have greatly set back the project. Over all, I would say that things could not be going better. The humans have requested that we share our findings with them. In some ways, they remind me of the Decepticons' constant search for alternative energy." He met Optimus' optics. "Forgive me if I'm assuming, but I do not think that you came for a progress report from the science department."

"I'm afraid not," Optimus replied casually, not feeling the least bit caught-out. It _was_ why he was here, after all.

"Have you spoken with him about this yet?" The question sounded innocent, but Optimus couldn't help feeling a little like he was going behind Starscream's back.

"Not… in detail."

Skyfire nodded knowingly. "I understand." Skyfire sighed. Behind his optics, Optimus could almost see him replaying a time long past. "How is he?"

Optimus wondered how deeply Skyfire wanted him to interpret that question. "He's trying to adjust. I think he's also beginning to feel a little restless."

"I can imagine why." A pause. "I couldn't believe it when we first saw him. I didn't think he would make it; he'd lost so much Energon. Then, when I saw him two days ago…" A shudder ran visibly ran from his back out to the tips of his wings.

As a flyer, Optimus knew that Skyfire could sympathize more effectively with Starscream. Perhaps that would help his case. "As I'm sure you've inferred, Starscream has been searching for a way to regain his wings. Ratchet ordered a generic pair from the United States Air Force, but they weren't… exactly to his tastes."

The corner of Skyfire's lip twitched into a fond smile. "I see. And so this brings us to the full intention of your visit?"

"Starscream mentioned a desire to redesign his wings entirely. While he is recovering quickly, I don't want him to strain himself. He has recuperated remarkably, though the damage, as you know, was extensive and he is still not entirely well. And he seems like he has the tendency to focus entirely on a project while overlooking his body's needs."

"Yes… He does… did… have a habit of fully immersing himself in a project." Skyfire looked directly into Optimus' optics. "And it also couldn't hurt for Starscream to have a friend. Don't you think?"

"No," Optimus said quietly. "It couldn't hurt."

"I'm glad," Skyfire grinned. "I will be more than happy to help him in whatever way he needs."

"Thank you, Skyfire. Your cooperation is most appreciated." Finally, something was working out.

"I only hope that Starscream is equally as willing as I am to patch things up." Skyfire seemed genuinely pleased to have the opportunity to mend things with his former friend and lab partner, though Optimus could sense a hint of trepidation.

"As do I," Optimus agreed. "I will let him know that you are eager to repair your partnership."

"Thank you, Prime."

* * *

Optimus returned to their quarters, his Spark a little lighter knowing that at least Skyfire was willing to overlook past discrepancies and try to help his friend through his recovery, to find Starscream sitting thoughtfully with a datapad on their couch, idly making notes with a stylus.

Starscream made no indication that he heard his Sparkmate enter the room. He planned on giving Optimus the silent treatment for a while for no reason other than that he hoped he could guilt Optimus into an apology for storming off earlier.

"Hello," Optimus said, announcing his presence, though he was sure the Seeker knew he was there. The tension in the room was stifling.

Starscream studiously ignored him.

"May I ask what you are reading?"

There was still no response. Starscream had yet to even look in his direction.

Optimus felt a brief twinge of frustration at being completely unnoticed, but he subdued it. "I've been thinking about you all day. I wanted to talk about earlier."

Nothing. Not even a hint that the Seeker had heard. He just continued jotting things down on the pad.

Optimus cycled. "Would you prefer if I left you alone?"

At that, though he made no visible changes, Starscream internally protested at once. If he was going to give Optimus the silent treatment, he _demanded_ that Optimus remain present. He couldn't very well actively ignore Optimus if he wasn't even there. Logically, Starscream was fully aware of how petty he was being. But he felt so justified in acting this way that he simply couldn't help it.

"Should I get Ratchet? Because it seems as if your audio receptors are not working properly."

Starscream couldn't entirely rein in the dirty look that briefly crossed his face.

"Ah, so you _can _hear me."

"Of _course_ I can hear you," Starscream snapped, holding onto this one last bit of rebellion by staring at the pad and not at Optimus.

"Good. Because I was uncertain if you'd be able to hear me tell you that I spoke with Skyfire earlier today."

The stylus finally paused over the screen and Starscream went visibly rigid. Without looking up, he said flatly, "Did you?"

"I did."

"That's nice."

The urge to know the outcome of that conversation was overwhelming, but Starscream repressed asking out of spite. Spite for who, though, he wasn't sure. But it made him feel better that he wasn't playing along with Optimus.

"Would you like to know what we spoke about?" Optimus could not help sinking down to Starscream's level of pettiness. He felt almost as if he were holding an Energon treat over the head of a starving mech. Naturally, Starscream would be curious as to what they spoke of. It must be burning him up inside to _not_ know. And naturally, Optimus would know the effect his statement would have on him. Yet after Starscream's little game, Optimus only too happy to take part.

Starscream shot him a withering look before looking back down at the datapad that he was no longer interested in. "Why would I care what the filthy traitor had to say to you?"

"He is no traitor." Why did he feel a brief flutter of satisfaction at Starscream's weakening façade?

"Ha, sure, says the mech that he swore his allegiance to."

"Would you or would you not like to know what we spoke about?"

The dilemma was written clearly over Starscream's face. He wanted to know _oh-_so badly… But at the same time, he didn't want to have to ask for the information. Finally, his stubbornness won over. "I don't care. You are free to speak with your troops about whatever trivial things Autobots have to speak of without reporting back to me your results."

"'Trivial things'?" Optimus repeated. "You would consider yourself 'trivial', then?"

At that, Starscream shot up from the couch, blind fury replacing the feigned indifference, as he hissed, "How _dare_ you speak to him about me."

Sensing that maybe a line had been crossed, Optimus immediately dropped the act. "I wanted you to have _someone_ that you could speak to aside from myself—"

"You know _nothing_ of what has happened between us. How _dare you—_"

"I assure you, Starscream, he is more than happy to speak with you and repair your relationship—"

Glaring heatedly across the room, Starscream spat, "Why should I care whether or not he is willing to speak with me? Why are you less concerned with how I feel about _anything_ regarding him than how he feels about me?"

Optimus frowned. "I am not disregarding your feelings, Starscream. I was trying to make sure that when you two eventually run into one another that you do not react poorly and make things harder on yourself. And I decided that he would be easier to speak to about this than you would."

The dark scowl that followed Optimus' words immediately put into perspective exactly how Starscream was going to interpret them.

"What I meant was—" Optimus began, trying to backtrack and hopefully regain some control of the situation.

"Don't," Starscream barked harshly. "I get it."

With that, he swept away into their bedroom without uttering another sound.

Optimus felt an immediate surge of regret for his impulsive and immature actions. Not wanting to disturb Starscream anymore than he already had—and hadn't he just made a fine mess of the disaster that was already there?—he flopped down on the couch, very nearly crushing the datapad that his Sparkmate had discarded in his anger. Out of a numb curiosity, he picked it up and began looking over its contents. It took him longer than he wanted to admit to decipher what exactly he was looking at, but when he got to the final page, he realized these were schematics for Seeker wings. He flipped back through the pages and actually _looked_ at the gibberish he had scanned over out of lack of understanding. There were calculations upon calculations, little notes regarding ventilation and transformation seams and things that Optimus only had the basest of knowledge about, but more apparent than anything was exactly how badly Starscream wanted his wings back.

Deciding against following Starscream into their bedroom, Optimus instead chose to recharge on the couch. As his optics powered down and he felt his processor slowing, he silently vowed to make Starscream's vision a reality.


End file.
